A Brief Moment in TIme (14 page)

As terrific as Gavin is, I’m not the right woman for him,
she continued, justifying her decision.
He might not be able to see that, but I can. Everyone else would see it, too. He needs someone his age, someone to settle down and have children with.

Gavin sighed audibly and twisted in his seat, trying to get more comfortable. Kathryn didn’t want to wake him but knew he’d rest better if his seat back was lowered. She leaned across, but the button on his door was just beyond her reach, so she adjusted herself and glanced over a second time. Leaning further, she pushed it quickly so she could concentrate on driving again.

A car horn quickly brought her attention back to the road, and she swerved in time to miss the car that she had veered toward. As she did, her car hit a patch of icy snow and careened out of control. She tried to bring it back, but the vehicle continued in the direction of the steep ditch that flanked the highway.

Suddenly she felt herself being thrown, her seatbelt the only thing keeping her from being tossed about the vehicle. The car was moving through the air; they were rolling. It hit down once, bounced, and rolled again. The roof crumpled in, and she crouched as close to the steering wheel as she could.

It seemed to be happening in slow motion. At one point, she looked over at Gavin. Eyes still groggy with sleep, he reached out to her. She heard him say her name, but it sounded like an echo, as if he was a distance away.

They finally landed against something solid, and she felt her body lurch forward, colliding with the airbag as it exploded. The impact sent her head rebounding back, tearing at the muscles in her neck. The car instantly filled with an acrid stench, and she turned away from it. As she did, she noticed that Gavin’s eyes were closed and his body limp. Blood gushed from a cut on his forehead. She called his name and reached out to touch his face. She gently shook him, calling his name again. When he opened his eyes, a smile slowly formed on his face. Kathryn immediately let out a sigh as relief filled her being. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he smiled again. He wasn’t moving, and blood was pouring out quicker than ever. She noticed blood on his shirt, too, and put her hand on his chest to see what the source was. He lifted his hand and put it over hers.

“We have to get you to a hospital!”

“It’s going to be all right, Kate.”

She pulled her hand away and grabbed her purse to find her cell phone, but its contents had spilled on the floor. As she reached down to find the phone, Gavin touched her shoulder.

“It’s going to be all right, Kate,” he repeated.

She looked at him again and saw a light in his eyes. The light drew her, mesmerizing and terrifying her at the same time.

“You’re hurt,” she argued desperately. “We have to get you to the hospital.”

“I had a great time today, Kate.” He was obviously delusional, talking as if nothing was wrong when everything that could possibly be wrong, was. “There’s something I wanted to tell you.”

“Shhh. Don’t try to talk now, Gavin.”

“I love you, Kate.”

“Gavin… I…”

“I love you,” he repeated.

His face held the evidence to support his words. Tears filled her eyes; she had no idea how to respond. He was hurt, maybe even seriously. He was delusional, saying things he might regret. Nevertheless, she had to answer him, and only one response seemed acceptable. “I love you too, Gavin.”

He stroked her face and smiled. “It’s going to be all right, Kate.”

Stop saying that!
she implored silently. It only served to confirm her belief that things were really, really not all right. The side of his face was covered with blood. She attempted to wipe it, but he wouldn’t let her. He took her hand and kissed it, then looked into her eyes and smiled again.

Part 3

~
Kate
~

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Chapter 14

KATHRYN OPENED HER EYES and quickly shut them again. The light was too much to take; it was almost painful. Curiosity made her try again. She didn’t recognize what she’d seen in the quick glance, and she wondered where she was.

She opened them tentatively, squinting, and this time recognized her surroundings—not because she’d seen them before, but because the setting looked like a hospital room. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she took in more around her. It was definitely a hospital room; a nurse was rushing to her side.

Searching her mind, she tried to remember what had happened and why she was lying in a hospital bed. The nurse was speaking to her, and Kathryn had to concentrate to make out her words. She was saying Kathryn’s name, asking her what she could see and if she knew where she was. Kathryn shook her head. Other than knowing a hospital room when she saw one, she had no idea where she was or why she was there.

Another nurse joined them, and a doctor came in asking more questions. When asked if she knew her full name, she answered, remembering clearly that she was Kathryn Harding.

“Kathryn, do you know what happened to you?”

She frowned. It was still a blank.

“You were in a car accident, Kathryn.”

Suddenly a scene flashed into her mind. She saw the car she was heading toward, felt her own car swerve and roll…and then she remembered. “Gavin?” she asked, terrified of what the answer might be.

The doctor’s brow creased. “I’m sorry, Kathryn, I’m not sure who Gavin is. But your friends and family—people who love you—have been here to visit. They’re being notified that you’re awake. I’m sure they’ll be eager to see you.”

She was utterly confused.
Why would my friends and family be glad I’m awake? How long have I been asleep? And why doesn’t he know about Gavin?

“Gavin was in the car with me. He was hurt,” she started to explain and then began to cry. “I was afraid he was dying. Is he…?” She couldn’t finish the sentence.

The doctor still had a slight frown on his face, but he tried to reassure her. “Kathryn, it’s natural to experience confusion when you come out of a coma. It may take a day or two for you to piece everything together. You may have some temporary memory loss, but that’s common in your situation. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“A coma,” Kathryn repeated slowly. “How long?”

“It’s been six weeks.”

The news ought to have shocked her, but she still desperately wanted answers. “But Gavin was in the car…”

“Kathryn,” he shook his head. “No one was with you. You were alone in the car.”

GAVIN WENT THROUGH the motions. He ate and slept and worked, but he was feeling more discouraged by the day. He had truly wanted to believe what he’d seen and learned, but now he was having a hard time justifying any of it—the hardest part being that he had no one to confide in. He hadn’t told a soul what he’d experienced when he was in the infirmary, and that was weeks ago.

At first the dreams and the teaching had comforted him. He’d hoped it might be an indication of things to come, but now he was beginning to think that it was nothing more than a hallucination, a result of the virus he’d contracted.

His family noticed the change in him. His mom was concerned and had tried to talk about it. He wanted to confide in her, but he didn’t know where to start.

The hardest part was that the incident had awoken all kinds of desires in him. Before that, he’d been content to wait out the remainder of his sentence. It was nearing the end, and other than serious concerns about what it would be like on the outside, he hadn’t been doing too badly.

But now he’d gotten a glimpse of what
could
be. He’d dreamed of an enchanting woman, even fallen in love, and he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He’d learned things that made so much sense, things he couldn’t dismiss. It was as if this experience had taken him to a new place, altered him in such a profound way, that he couldn’t go back, yet he wasn’t sure how to move forward.

He’d tried to learn more about Kate Harding and her teachings. He wanted to learn more, too, about the supernatural experience he’d had. The prison was connected with the local public library, and he could request books. Unfortunately, it often took weeks to received them, and what he’d read so far only confused him more.

He’d been informed that the parole board would be interviewing him the following week, and he assumed that if approved he would be eligible for day passes. He knew he ought to feel excited about the prospect of getting out, even if only for twelve hours at a time, but it was causing him a great deal of anxiety. In truth, he’d been feeling it for months now. It was probably normal, considering he’d spent half his life behind bars, but he didn’t know how to deal with it, and it was starting to wear him down.

Finally, after much deliberation, he decided to submit a request to the prison administration. He needed to talk to someone about the way he was feeling. He knew it was a long shot. He knew he was probably delusional. Still, he let himself imagine that that person might just turn out to be Kate.

KATHRYN EXAMINED what she believed had taken place the day of the accident. Her memories felt so fresh, so real, yet hospital staff was telling her that what she thought she’d experienced was incorrect.

The person she wanted to talk to the most was her best friend. Having been informed that Kathryn had awoken from her coma, Adele was now on her way to the hospital. Adele would know about Gavin. They had discussed his progress throughout the program, and undoubtedly she’d know why Kathryn was so sure he’d been with her on that ill-fated day.

She could remember it clearly: the first day pass, Gavin’s excitement and nervousness, meeting his delightful family, the walk in the garden, the sprained ankle, the trip home, and then—the most deeply imprinted memory of all—the kiss.

How could I have imagined all that?
And what’s become of Gavin?
I’m assuming he’s still in prison
.
Kathryn longed to see him. She knew it must be hard on him too, their sessions having ended so abruptly.

Then she thought of something else.
If that day didn’t happen as I remembered, then what did happen? Did Gavin really profess his feelings for me, or was it just something I imagined? Did my own feelings for him get out of hand? If that’s the case, I have some work to do. How could I have fallen in love with a patient anyway?

She remembered her thoughts as she drove back to the city that day. Right before the accident, she’d concluded that she needed to be open to the idea of dating again, that she was indeed vulnerable around someone like Gavin.

How could I be so foolish?

Knowing what her work was, she silently made a plan.
First I need to remember what happened that day and then
…she sighed.
I have to put my feelings for Gavin in perspective. I have to deal with those romantic notions and remind myself it’s just the idea of being with someone again that’s so appealing.

It was more than that. She knew now that she wanted someone like Gavin for a partner. It wasn’t just that he was irresistibly attractive, physically; he was attractive in other ways. She’d never met anyone, although her husband had come close, who had so totally bewitched her with their personality in such a short time. Meeting Gavin had awoken desires that were all but dead and buried, and for that she should be thankful.

It seemed likely, now as she thought about it, that the whole thing was completely one sided.
If he was never with me outside the prison, then I have no reason to believe he felt anything for me,
she concluded, feeling disappointed.
There may not be any issues of transference to deal with at all. Of course, when I meet with him again, I’ll know.
She was confident she could read him, and at that point she could decide what steps to take in continuing her work with him.

His file had likely come up before the parole board by now. She wondered if he’d gone home to see his family yet and how the experience had been for him. She was sorry she hadn’t been there to share it with him, sure that it would have been as exciting for him as she’d imagined.