31 Days of Winter (43 page)

‘You don’t want to stay friends?’

‘I’m not sure that’s what we are.’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked with a frown as I
tipped my head back on his shoulder and looked up at him.

‘You want more from me than friendship and I can’t
offer it. I don’t want to give you false hope,’ he replied with a kiss on my
forehead. I closed my eyes and sighed. I just couldn’t imagine getting on that
plane in seven days time and never seeing him again. ‘You’re tired, you need to
sleep. Finish your coffee, then off to bed. I’ll go and get you a t-shirt to
wear.’

‘Thank you,’ I yawned. I drained the rest of my
drink as he disappeared to the back of the cabin, then took his hand as he
returned and helped me up.

‘Put this on,’ he ordered as he handed me a grey
Muse “Resistance” t-shirt.

‘Appropriate,’ I observed as I pulled it over my head
and lowered it down, before slipping off the towel underneath.

‘I thought so,’ he smiled. ‘Do you need me to
carry you up the ladder?’

‘I’ll be fine, though I’d prefer you don’t stand
below me as I climb up.’

‘I’ve seen it all before,’ he chuckled.

‘I know you have, but that was then. Now we’re …
I’ve no idea what we are, we still haven’t discussed your weird behaviour again
today, but you don’t get to look at my bare backside and flashes of my bits as
I climb the ladder to get in your bed.’

‘I’ll go and get changed into a t-shirt for bed
then as well. Please hold on tightly, I don’t want you falling.’ I waited for
him to disappear and carefully climbed the ladder, my hands were still
trembling after my night of adventure. I crawled across the bed, climbed in and
pulled the duvet up around my chin trying to get warmed up. The light in the
room dimmed as Dan extinguished the candles, so only the orange firelight
remained. I felt the mattress dip as he carefully made his way to the top and
climbed in beside me. I tried to breathe really quietly, so he wouldn’t hear
how badly he affected me by being so close. ‘Ellie, I’m really sorry about
today,’ he whispered.

‘You hate being around me that much that you need
twelve hours away from me?’

‘I don’t hate being around you at all, that’s the
problem. I love being around you, you make me forget everything else except how
great it is to be in your company. I’m a different person with you around, I’m
happy.’

‘You can be happy without me around Dan, you just
need to socialise with people a bit more. Go to the pub in the village, invite
people over for dinner … well, Pot Noodle or sandwiches as you can’t cook. You don’t
need me for you to be different, you’re confusing my proximity with how you
could feel every day if you let people in and became more friendly.’

‘Don’t do that. This has nothing to do with
proximity. It’s you … you …
beguile
me Ellie Baxter, you make me want to
think of nothing else, to do nothing else but hold you, kiss you and … I’m
telling you that it’s you. I’ve no idea why, but you’ve woken something inside
me, made me care again,’ he sighed. I jerked as I felt his fingers trace my
lips, the crackle of energy sparking from his fingertips as they trailed my
mouth. I rolled onto my side to look at him, his face barely visible in the
dark.

‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,’ I
whispered as his fingers moved into my hair and trailed through it.

‘I’m not sure I do. I just know that I like you
being around, I like spending time with you, listening to you talk. You’re so
passionate when you talk about your book, your editing job or your friendship
with Brooke. You light up and it’s wonderful to watch.’

‘So what’s wrong with us seeing each other when
you come to London? I don’t understand. It’s no different to us spending time
together here.’

‘It is, I just … up here there are more reminders why
I can’t be with you. Down there I worry that I’ll forget that.’

‘Why can’t you tell me? What could be so awful
that you think you’ll upset me?’

‘Please don’t ask me to tell you,’ he sighed as he
rubbed the ends of my hair between his thumb and forefinger.

‘I’ll be leaving soon, never to see you again it
seems, so what does it matter?’

‘I’d prefer you to think of me fondly, as the guy
that you nearly had a winter fling with, the one that jumped into the water and
saved you, who held you in the shower as you warmed up. Speaking of, you’re
still shaking. Are you still cold?’

‘A little,’ I nodded.

‘Take the t-shirt off,’ he ordered.

‘What?’ I exclaimed.

‘Take it off.’

‘But surely I’ll be colder without it on?’

‘Skin on skin, best way of getting warm. Take it
off now, please,’ he ordered again as he sat up in bed and pulled his own off.

‘Dan, you’re talking about me being naked while
you …
hold me
?’ I uttered.

‘I’m talking about us both being naked while I
hold you. My body heat should help warm you up faster.’

‘You don’t have any hot water bottles?’ I asked,
desperately trying to stall this insane plan. I was getting as bad as him. I
wanted him, then I didn’t, then I did, now I didn’t again.

‘No. I’ll add them to the Ellie Baxter’s list of
suggestions for future tenants. Will you do as you’re told or do I need to
undress you myself?’

‘You have boxers on, right?’ I asked as I sat up
and pulled it off.

‘Just shut up and get down here,’ he chuckled as
he grabbed me and pulled me down next to him. He rolled onto his back and put
his arm around me as I draped myself half over his front, hooking one leg over
his as I nestled my head onto his chest and stretched my arm over him.

‘This is
not
going on your list for future
tenants,’ I advised.

‘Getting jealous?’

‘No,’ I lied. ‘Just warning you of the
ramifications of a sexual harassment law suit if you proposition all female
occupants like this. Some may not take too kindly to it.’

‘I don’t care about “some,” I care about you.
Warming up yet?’

‘A little,’ I nodded. I had to grit my teeth and
try and focus on anything but the fact that I wanted to run my fingers over his
chest and plant kisses across it. My nipples were trying to peak, but I was
tucked against his side so tightly, his ribs were preventing them from doing
so. His fingers idly tracing circles on the back of my shoulder were so
distracting, as was the pulsating between my thighs. I was naked, stark naked
lying with some seriously sexy guy and not doing anything about it. What was
wrong with me? Actually what was wrong with him? Three years of no sex, I’m
naked in his arms, it’s obvious I’m willing, and he still does nothing about
it? ‘Are you sure you prefer women?’ I blurted out.

‘What?’ he laughed as he tilted his head to look
down at me.
What a stupid thing to say Ellie
, I thought. It was obvious
he did prefer women from the amount of times he got hard around me, but I just
couldn’t fathom why he didn’t want sex with me. I could feel his firm chest
rising and falling as rapidly as mine, his heart beating strongly in his chest
as his breathing became more and more laboured.
What the hell was wrong with
him?

‘You kiss me for hours last night, I know you’re
attracted to me, I’m naked in your bed, in your arms and you’re feeling
nothing?’

‘You think I’m feeling nothing?’ he growled as he
grabbed my hand. I gasped as he shoved it down the bed and wrapped it around
his warm, hard as stone, cock and squeezed as a groan escaped his lips. ‘I feel
plenty.’

‘Me too,’ I whimpered as he encouraged my fingers
to tighten. ‘
Mega
plenty. You were supposed to be wearing boxers,’ I
gulped.

‘I told you skin on skin, makes you hot,’ he
breathed as my hand just froze around his rigid shaft, not quite sure what to
do. Not that I didn’t
know
what to do, I knew how to do
that,
I
just wasn’t sure if I was allowed to.

‘
Very
hot. You know what would make me even
hotter? Scorching in fact?’ I raised my face to his, our lips millimetres
apart, his breath coming as rapidly as mine was. I dared to move my hand up his
thick girth and sweep my thumb over his tip. He was wet, nowhere near as wet as
I was, but wet all the same.

‘
Ellie,’
he groaned as he closed his eyes
and his lips parted.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ I asked as I slowly drew
my fist down and back up again, marvelling at his size and feeling myself get
wetter at the thought of trying to take this inside me. And I’d need to be wet
to accommodate this comfortably.

‘Yes … no … it’s wrong, I … I can’t,’ he moaned as
I felt him quiver in my hand. He didn’t make any move to stop me, so I started
to slowly stroke him, feeling myself swell and flood at the thought of having
this …
beast
inside me.

‘You can, you want to, I know you want to and I
want it too,’ I advised as I kissed the corner of his mouth. He groaned again
and shifted his hips, parting his legs slightly as I continued to work my hand
leisurely up and down him. ‘I want you inside me, I want you to fuck me. I’ve
wanted it from the moment I first saw you. Don’t tell me that you don’t want
me, we both know that you do.’

‘I do, so fucking badly,’ he growled. Before I
knew what was happening I was on my back, Dan’s powerful body hovering over
mine as he kneed my legs apart. I looked up at him wide eyed, nodded my consent
and braced myself as he plunged straight into me, forcing his way inside me
with an animalistic roar as I screamed and reached up to grip his biceps.

‘Holy shit,’ I exclaimed as he thrust again, the
power threatening to rupture my insides. I’d never felt so full and stretched
in my life, Matt and Zac had nothing on his length and girth. The feeling was …
indescribable.

‘God, I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I first
saw you at the airport too, no … from the moment I spoke to you on the phone. Damn
it Ellie, you feel so good, better than I’ve even imagined,’ he groaned as he powered
into me again, making me take his last few inches as my muscles and I screamed
in protest. ‘Ok?’

‘You’re …
bloody huge
,’ I uttered as I
gazed up at him in bewilderment.

‘I know,’ he chuckled cockily and lowered his head
and kissed me tenderly. ‘Too huge for me to move again?’

‘No, do it,’ I ordered and flung my arms around
his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. He pulled out and powered into me again,
making my cry out and arch my back. I wrapped my legs around his slim waist and
rocked my hips to meet his thrusts as our kissing changed from gentle to rough,
frantic and needy as he moved inside me.
I could die right now and be happy
,
I thought as he swirled his hips and made me whimper into his mouth. Damn, I
was in such trouble.
What was I doing?
This was … bliss on a scale I’d
never known, but the minute it was over he was going to freak out, shut down
and retreat. I was going to be feeling like crap any minute now, all because I
couldn’t control my sexual cravings for the man between my legs fucking me like
his world was ending. And it was. This was the best sex I’d ever had.
Period.
‘Dan,’ I panted, I was so close to coming, I couldn’t hold off. I’d never come
during penetrative sex, he was ruining it for any man I was going to have sex
with again. Nothing would ever compare to this.

‘Fuck Ellie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry … it’s been
so long I need … fuck I need to come,’ he gasped as he kissed me again.

 ‘It’s ok,’ I reassured him as I kissed him back,
my hands gliding down his moist skin and raking his powerful shoulder blades.
‘Do it.’

‘You … first,’ he ordered as he moved to kiss my
neck, making me melt. I
was
ruined. Completely ruined for life. I had no
idea sex could be this good, I thought I’d experienced great sex. I really
hadn’t. And this was quick hot and frantic sex, Christ knows what he could be
like if we took our time and savoured each other. I felt my eyes fill up with
tears at the thought that I’d never get to experience that.

‘Dan,’ I whimpered as my whole body started to
tingle and tremble.

‘Come for me, Ellie.’

‘I … I …
Ahhhh
, I … I’m so close.’ I
cramped my toes as I rose up to meet him and nestled my face in his neck,
kissing it as I breathed in his natural musky sexual scent.

‘Ellie, shit I’m coming, come for me,
please,
’
he begged as he pumped into me harder and faster. My whole body spasmed and I
screamed as I flung my head back. He held me up with one hand in the small of
my back as he rested on his forearm and took my nipple in his teeth and bit
down. I screamed again and completely went to pieces as my orgasm ripped
through me. No section of my skin was left untouched from the pleasure that
saturated my body. I heard him roar my name as he thrust one final time, our
pubic bones clashing as he bathed my insides with his heat. I bit my lip hard,
I wanted to cry out
“I love you”
but I couldn’t, he’d retreat even
faster if I confessed how badly he really affected me. The fleeting thought
that we hadn’t used protection crossed my mind, but was soon forgotten as we
collapsed down onto the mattress, both panting, his heavy body smothering mine,
yet incredibly comforting. ‘Jesus Christ. I know it’s been a long time for me,
but was sex always this good?’ he sighed as his lips worked up and down my
neck.

‘Never for me,’ I confirmed as I kissed across his
shoulder, still clinging to him tightly as my orgasm continued to rattle me. I
was scared of letting go. I had a feeling the minute I did he’d be off and I
wanted this connection to last as long as possible. I took as many mental pictures
as I could, never wanting to forget how I was feeling in this very moment.

‘Me neither, we’re perfect together, Ellie,’ he
advised as he kissed his way around to my mouth. I automatically allowed him
access, his tongue dancing with mine as I sighed with contentment. He showed no
signs of shifting off me, I could still feel his cock twitching inside me and
it felt so natural to be feeling so full. ‘I could stay inside you forever,’ he
sighed as he continued to kiss me.