31 Days of Winter (41 page)

‘I did, it just warranted saying before we carried
on. I don’t just kiss any old guest in front of the fire, you know.’

‘Good, because I don’t just kiss any intelligent,
IT trained, strong, sexy wood cutter in front of the fire either. Especially
not drop dead gorgeous ones, they’re the absolute worst, it’s such a chore.’

‘Rambling,’ he chuckled and pulled me down to
silence me with his mouth again as I melted in his arms.

Ellie

I woke up on the sheepskin
rug in front of the glowing embers of the fire, covered in two blankets. I
blinked against the bright sunlight streaming in through the window and smiled
as I remembered how we’d kissed until we were in danger of igniting each other
and then fell asleep wrapped around each other. I touched my lips, they felt a
bit bruised and swollen, I’d never kissed a guy for that long. Usually just as
the kissing got good with a guy, it was interrupted by sex, and then you only
got a quick peck on the lips after as they rolled over to go to sleep. That had
been a
serious
kissing marathon. I’d never been so turned on, yet felt
so adored at the same time. He’d not made one sexual overture, no stray
brushing of my breasts, no grasping of my arse. Just lots of tender kisses that
told me that he was starting to feel for me, maybe not as much as I felt for
him, but all the same, his feelings for me were definitely more than he was
prepared to admit. Just that thought was enough to make my smile widen and to
feel all warm inside.

‘Dan?’ I called. The boathouse was silent. I
checked my watch and was shocked to see that it was already ten-thirty. I took
advantage of having the house to myself and had a shower and relieved myself. I
hadn’t masturbated in days and squealed as I came quickly and violently. My
eyes darted up to the gap in the floorboards, wondering if he’d hidden up there
quietly, like some navy seal on manoeuvres, making me think I was alone so he
could spy on me showering. I realised how ridiculous that was. If he’d told me
to strip for him last night and masturbate openly in front of him, I would have
no hesitation. He didn’t need to resort to covert measures to witness me in all
my glory. I couldn’t believe a week tonight I had my flight home. I hadn’t told
Dan yet that it was two nights early, I wasn’t sure how he’d take it. I figured
it wasn’t like he had loads of plans at night, so it shouldn’t make any
difference to him in terms of not being convenient. I dressed in my jeans
again, with my black underwear and a red batwing jumper. After checking the
cupboards I found some cereal to have with some milk and grabbed a coffee from
the pot bubbling on the wood burner.

I worked on my manuscript until I was forced to
save and close down as the warning battery light kicked in. I wondered how
freaked out Brooke was going to be not having heard from me in two days. She
wouldn’t be very happy, but what could I do? Until we could get to shore it
seemed we had no way of contacting anyone. He really needed to think about
having his own generator up here. What if there was an emergency and he needed
to get to the hospital? He’d be really stuck not being able to ring out on the
landline, or having no charge on his phone either. I settled in again with
another book, but my mind kept wandering. I needed to chase the agents about
Brooke having the keys early. If she could, I needed to order all my kitchen
gadgets and bed and bath linen so it would be ready when I got there. One week
tonight I’d be sleeping in my new home. A home I hadn’t even seen in person.

I refocused on my book and lit some candles as it
started to get dark. I started to get worried when I realised it was nearly
nine p.m. and I hadn’t seen Dan all day. I made some mash for him to go with
the leftover turkey dish from last night and I picked at some cheese and
biscuits and poured myself a glass of wine. When it got to ten o’clock I was
really concerned. What if he’d fallen and broken his leg? And I’d been sitting
here all day chilling out? I pulled on my boots and grabbed the torch, wondering
if I even knew the way up to the cabin that housed the gym, or if I was brave
enough to venture out in the snow, in the dark on my own. The decision was made
for me as I was about to open the door and I heard footsteps on the veranda. I
opened it and dazzled him with the torch.

‘Thank God, I was starting to get worried about
you. Is everything ok?’

‘Fine. I just lost track of time.’

‘I’ll say. You’ve been gone for over twelve hours.
Where have you been?’

‘We’re not married Ellie, I don’t need the Spanish
inquisition as soon as I walk through the door,’ he sighed as he closed it
behind him. I winced to myself, that hurt. Especially as this wasn’t the Dan
whose arms I’d fallen asleep in last night.

‘Sorry for worrying that you’d fallen over and
hurt yourself,’ I bit back, feeling unbelievably angry with him. Angry and fed
up with his ever changing moods. ‘Your dinner’s in the microwave, three minutes
on high will do it. I’ll give you some space as twelve hours obviously wasn’t
enough.’ I snatched up my iPhone and the small torch, shrugged on his coat and
stalked out and slammed his door. I waited for a moment hoping he’d come after
me but he didn’t. I went up to the house, unlocked the door and locked myself
back in, making sure the key was left in it, then shivered. It was freezing in
here, but I was determined I wasn’t spending another night in there with him. I
couldn’t take much more.
How could he go from making me feel so wonderful
last night, without provocation, to feeling so awful tonight?
I looked
around and found a Yankee candle that he’d missed on the mantelpiece and took
it upstairs to the bedroom. I managed to light the log fire, found some extra
blankets and loaded them onto the bed, stripped off my coat and boots and
climbed in, curling into a ball as I stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t long
before I heard the door handle downstairs rattling. I smirked, pleased I’d left
the key in, that would teach him.

‘Ellie?’ he yelled. I didn’t reply. He could sweat
for a while, like I had for the last few hours. ‘ELLIE! I know you’re in there,
I can see the light of the fire. You can’t sleep in there, it’s too cold. If
you really can’t bear to be around me, I’ll sleep here and you can have my bed.
I’m more used to the cold than you.’

‘Go away,’ I yelled. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Don’t be so bloody stubborn, woman. Open the
door.’

‘No. I’m lovely and warm and I’m tired. I’d just
like to go to sleep. Go away.’

‘Open the damn door. I’m not leaving you up here
alone all night.’

‘No different to leaving me alone down there all
day,’ I reminded him and coughed. Yelling was doing my throat no good.

‘If you don’t open this door right now, so help me
God, Ellie.’

‘What? You’ll shout me to death all night?’ I
smiled as it went quiet. He was so
bloody
infuriating. How dare he make
out like he was all concerned now, when he’d not given a damn all day. I gasped
and bolted upright as I heard the shattering of glass and a heavy thud
downstairs. I leapt up and looked over the glass balustrade and heard the door
being unlocked and swinging open, and the crunching of glass as I made out his
shadow stepping in. ‘I don’t
believe
you!’ I uttered.

‘I bloody warned you. Now get your arse down here
right now,’ he barked.

‘You’re so out of order.’

‘Get down here or I’ll come and get you.’

‘I’m
not
going anywhere with you. Not when
you’re in a temper. How the hell did you break that door?’

‘I threw a bloody log through it, so maybe now you’ll
see that I’m serious about not leaving you up here for the night. Get down here,
Ellie.’

‘No. I don’t want to be anywhere near you thank
you, and don’t even think of coming up here or I’ll lock myself in the guest
bedroom for the night.’

‘I’ll just break that door down as well. Come down
or I’m coming up, your choice.’

‘That’s no choice,’ I hissed. I heard him sigh and
as my eyes adjusted to the dark I saw him move to start taking the stairs two
at a time. I quickly grabbed the pole and slid downstairs and heard him swear.

‘Don’t fucking move, there’s glass all over the
floor,’ he snapped.
Damn it
, he was right and my boots were upstairs.
‘Do you have shoes on?’

‘No,’ I replied quietly, feeling like a chastised
school girl.

‘Where are they?’

‘By the fire.’

‘Stay there. I bloody mean it, Ellie.’

‘Fine,’ I sighed. All of a sudden I just wanted to
go home. Well, back to London. Anywhere away from him, away from my ridiculous
feelings for a guy that obviously had some serious psychological issues.
I
just couldn’t understand how I kept picking them.
First a married guy, then
a lying, cheating, stealing drug addict, and now Mr. Split Personality. I kept
my eyes on the floor as he ran down the stairs and held my boots under my nose.

‘Take them and put them on right now.’

‘A please wouldn’t go amiss,’ I replied as I
snatched them off him.

‘You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever
met,’ he bit.

‘ME!’ I whipped my head up to glare at him. ‘You’re
a fine one to talk. I’ve never met a guy who can go from being so loving and
romantic one minute to a complete and utter …
arsehole
the next,’ I
hissed.

‘Arsehole?! You’re comparing me to
him?
’ he
gasped.

‘At least I know what he is, what the hell do I
know about you, Dan?’

‘More than
anyone
bar my parents and … you
know what, forget putting on your bloody boots,’ he snapped and grabbed me,
flung me over his shoulder and crunched across the broken glass slamming the
door behind him, more fragments crashing to the floor.

‘You
will
put me down this minute,’ I
ordered as I walloped his backside with the sole of one of my boots.

‘No, I fucking won’t,’ he hissed and I gasped as
he laid a smarting slap with his hand on mine in return.

‘You did
not
just spank me?!’ I uttered in
disbelief as the sting radiated outwards.

‘Act like a child, be treated like a child,’ he
growled as he strode down towards the boathouse.

‘You’re a fine one to bloody talk. This is so
beyond inappropriate. Put. Me. Down.’ I yelled as I hit him again with each
word and shivered without my coat.

‘Behave,’ he yelled back with another cracking
spank.

‘I
hate
you,’ I whimpered as my eyes filled
up with tears. I felt so humiliated, confused and … turned on.

‘Don’t lie, I hate lies.’ His voice sounded
softer, but I didn’t care.

‘As soon as I can get off this island I’m booking
in at the hotel. I don’t ever want to see you again.’

‘You’re not going anywhere, I won’t let you, and
you
will
see me again.’

‘I won’t. You make me so miserable and confused,’
I sniffed.

‘I also make you believe in yourself and sometimes
I make you really happy. Stop lying to yourself.’

‘I’m not lying. I want to be as far away from you
as possible. I came here for peace and quiet and you’ve … you’ve …’

‘You’ve turned my bloody world upside down as
well, Ellie. Don’t make out this is all one sided. I tried staying away all day
because I hate myself. Last night, kissing you, watching you sleeping in my
arms was the happiest I’ve been in years and I can’t be. I know I’m jerking you
around and you have every reason to hate me, but you don’t understand.’

‘Because you won’t explain,’ I moaned as I reached
up and wiped some tears from my eyes, that were weirdly trickling the wrong way
into my hairline as I hung limply over his shoulder.

‘You’re leaving in nine days, I want you to go
with some happy memories of me, like last night.’

‘Last night was wonderful, but you make me forget
all of that when you close off and are all cold. It’s getting worse the more
time we spend together, the extremes are really painful.’

‘I know,’ he sighed as he stepped up onto his
veranda and opened the front door. He ducked as he entered, one protective hand
on my still smarting backside to make sure I didn’t hurt it on the door frame.
Ironic after the two harsh spanks he’d just laid on it. He set me down and
backed away, rubbing his hands over his mouth as I glanced up at him. ‘I’m
hungry, I need to eat before we talk.’

‘You haven’t eaten already?’

‘No, I sat here trying to work out what I was
going to say to you.’

‘And?’

‘I still haven’t worked it out, I just didn’t like
the idea of you alone and cold up there.’

‘You’re a complete contradiction,’ I sighed and
bent down to put my boots back on.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I need some space to think what I’m going to say,
too. I’ll be outside, I’ll come in when I’m ready.’

‘Ellie, it’s still really cold.’

‘I’ll just be outside on the veranda.’ I could
just make out that he nodded, before I grabbed a blanket, wrapped myself up in
it and went to sit outside with a heavy sigh and a wince as my stinging
backside met the hard wood of the chair. I so desperately wanted to talk to
Brooke, I needed her advice. I pulled my iPhone out of my jeans pocket and
turned it on, thankful I charged it every night and it still had some decent
battery life left in it from the last charge on Christmas morning. I didn’t
have a signal and hung over the edge of the bannister and saw a flicker on the
bars. I looked up and around me, the boathouse and the surrounding trees were
probably masking the signal, I needed to be somewhere a bit more open. I headed
out onto the jetty and stood waiting as I looked at it. Eventually a slight
signal showed, so I tried a text first, just in case I lost it again.