31 Days of Winter (47 page)

I chuckled, I still had no idea where I was,
besides if I couldn’t get a flight out, how would she get one in?

I’m so sorry Brooke, we’ve had no power for two
and a bit days, so I only just got your messages, and after I text you the
other night you won’t believe what’s happened. Please tell me that you’re free
tonight, I’d really like to catch up. I seriously miss you. xxx

I opened up John’s email.

I got your signed contract, no backing out now.
Hope you’ve had a good Christmas and are looking forward to coming back? I’ve
made the announcement to the office, so it’s only fair that I share with you,
it’s not an excuse for my behaviour the last few years, merely an explanation
as to why my mind has been elsewhere. I have just left my wife. Our
relationship was over a long time ago, I think she knew I was gay before I did.
I spat my freshly made coffee all over my screen and had to run to the
bathroom to grab some toilet roll to mop up. Captain was
gay?
I really
hadn’t seen that coming at all, but it sure explained why he was so unhappy if
he was attempting a happily married life when his heart wasn’t in it. I read
on, intrigued.
I met Edward two years ago and though I tried to deny my
attraction to him it became harder to do each time I saw him. I’ve finally left
Maggie a couple of weeks ago and moved in with Edward and am happier than I’ve
ever been, which I am sure has been noticed in the office already. As I say,
it’s no excuse for my demeanour at work, but I hope that it will put your mind
at rest if that was a concern. I’m looking forward to your return, Ellie. Not
least so you can show Natasha how to make a decent cup of coffee, it’s really
appalling. Happy New Year. John.

John, I’m so happy to hear that you’ve taken
that brave step and followed your heart, if only everyone had the courage to do
that, I’m sure the world would be a better place. You’d better pencil in some
intensive coffee training for Natasha on my first day. I’ll look forward to
seeing you on Monday. Happy New Year to you too, let’s hope it’s the start of
an amazing year for us both. Ellie

I curled my toes on the warm floor and opened up
my manuscript and tapped away, with occasional glances over at Pete’s boat meandering
across the loch making a path for Dan’s boat. I was disturbed by a knock on the
door.

‘Ellie?’ I grimaced, it was none other than the
man himself.

‘The list’s on the kitchen island.’

‘You’ve moved back in already?’

‘You told me to Dan, I’ve obviously outstayed my
welcome with you.’

‘That’s not what … damn it. I’ve really got to go
out now, can we talk later?’

‘Sorry, I have plans.’

‘Plans?’

‘Facetime catch up with Brooke.’

‘Well that’s not going to take all night, surely?’

‘I’ve missed her. We have an awful lot to catch up
on.’

‘I’ll bring your supplies up later.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m fine.’

‘You don’t want your supplies tonight?’

‘No thank you.’

‘Ellie.’ I heard him sigh and crinkled up my face
as I bit my lip. I wondered if it was hard for him being all detached and cold,
because I really didn’t like doing it to him.

‘I’m sorry Dan, but I’m really busy. I’ll maybe
see you tomorrow. Enjoy your trip out.’ I listened to his boots crossing the
wooden floor, to the island, then returning back.

‘And lock the damn door Ellie, how many times do I
have to tell you,’ he bit before slamming it behind him. I watched him striding
down to the shore and dragging his boat out onto the water and heading off. I
pushed him out of my mind and got back down to my writing, before I had to go
and turn the heating down and put the lights on. I ran back upstairs and
changed into my shorts and a vest top, it was far too hot in here now. I
checked my watch, hoping Brooke would contact me soon and poured myself a glass
of wine, then went and stood at the glass window and looked out at the dark.
Dan’s lights were on, so he must have returned. I was kind of disappointed that
he hadn’t come up to try and see me. I’d been trying to be all cool earlier,
pretending I didn’t want to see him, but it was like a secret test, a test he’d
just unknowingly failed. Why couldn’t I just be completely honest with him?
Tell him he’d hurt me earlier, yet I couldn’t bear the thought of going to
sleep without his arms around me?

You’re way too needy,
I told myself before
I picked up my locket and kissed it. I suddenly gasped, I never swam or had a
bath with it on and I’d been underwater the other night. I pulled it open with
shaking hands and heaved a sigh of relief to find that the photo wasn’t damaged
and my lock of hair was still there. It must snap shut so tightly it had
created a perfect seal. Grabbing my iPad and iPhone I headed back down and
cooked myself steak, egg and some home-made chips, and washed it down with a
glass of wine. I felt a twinge of guilt that I wasn’t cooking for Dan, but he
was going to have to fend for himself for once. I poured myself another wine and
went to snuggle up on the sofa by the roaring fire, with just the Christmas
fairy lights on and a table lamp. I screamed when I saw Brooke’s number come up
on facetime.

‘Brooke!’

‘Babe, you’ve no idea how happy I was to hear from
you. Were you trying to give me a heart attack?’ She was trying to scold me,
but she was beaming uncontrollably.

‘I’ve missed you so much,’ I sighed as I stroked
her freckled face on the screen and made her laugh.

‘Me too, missed you that is, not me. Though I’m
pretty easy to miss, aren’t I?’

‘You are,’ I giggled. ‘So what’s new?’

‘I’m having the most miserable Christmas
ever
.
Not only am I without you, but I haven’t seen Molly in days either. I’m so
miserable.’

‘O Brooke, I’m home in five days, do you have
plans with Molly or can we have my first night in my new home together?’

‘Molly’s working so I’m all yours. What’s
happening with the key? Can I have it Friday to start moving your stuff
across?’

‘Shit, I need to chase the agents, I haven’t
heard. Plus I need to order some kit and was hoping to have it delivered there
too.’

‘Order it all to come to mine on Friday. I’m off
that day too, I can just stick stuff straight into the van and take it to yours
Saturday if I’m allowed in. Ok, enough of the boring shit. Have you fucked
yet?’

‘Brooke,’ I laughed. ‘No small talk first?’

‘You did, didn’t you, you dirty bitch? You’ve gone
all pink and your eyes are all sparkly. Good?’

‘Am.az.ing!’ I groaned as I covered my face.
‘Brooke, I’m in so much trouble.’

‘Why?’

‘I thought I loved Matt and Zac, I thought sex
with them was great, being with Dan just blows everything with them out of the
water.’

‘He’s that big?’

‘I’m not just talking cock size Brooke Hanson,’ I
laughed as I looked back at her. ‘But yes, humungous. I tell you a python would
look at that and slither in the opposite direction.’

‘Yet you wrestled the beast and ate him whole?’

‘We definitely wrestled, but I need to take deep
throat exercises to try and take him whole Brooke, I nearly choked to death.’

‘You hate giving oral!’

‘I hated giving oral, I loved doing it to him.’

‘So come on, proper details. How did it happen?’
she asked as she raised a glass of wine to her lips. I took a sip of mine, then
a deep breath and told her of my dramatic fall and rescue. ‘Shit babe, you
stupid idiot going out on an icy bloody plank to try and talk to me. What were
you thinking?’

‘It was a wide jetty, I wasn’t walking the plank
off a Pirate ship. I was thinking how mad you’d be and that you’d be worried
sick that you hadn’t heard from me.’

‘Well yeah, there is that. So he dove in and
rescued you? Like some navy seal?’

‘Yes,’ I giggled. ‘He was so in control, he pulled
me out, carried me to the shower and undressed me to get me warm. Then in bed
he insisted on us getting naked and cuddling up to transfer body heat.’

‘Transfer bodily fluids more like, the dirty git.
I bet he pushed you in just to have an excuse to get naked with you.’

‘Brooke,’ I rolled my eyes at her. ‘If he’d just
asked me to get naked I would have done with little protest, he just has this
real authoritative air about him. He’s so manly and … and …’

‘Hung,’ she sighed.

‘Yes, that too,’ I smiled.

‘So, first time, over really fast?’

‘Actually not as fast as I’d imagined he would be
after so long without. He just knows what he’s doing Brooke, every touch, every
thrust seemed to stimulate me. He stayed hard in me for ages after as well, and
I fell asleep on his chest with him still inside me. We woke up and he made
love to me in bed, then we fucked in the shower and had a walk. I blew him in
the great outdoors, then we had a blissful few hours in front of the fire where
he made me come over and over as he made love to me again, then …’ I stalled as
the noise of us virtually shaking the foundations of the boathouse resonated in
my ears.

‘Then what?’

‘He took me to bed and fucked me, I mean
fucked.
It was animalistic, wild, crazy, my heart’s going to beat out of my chest,
can’t keep our hands off each other, fucking.’

‘You lucky bitch. Most guys are in it for their
orgasm and he was giving you loads of foreplay, sweet and tender stuff then
followed it up with a Superdan powered fuck?’

‘I know,’ I smiled as I stretched out on the sofa.
‘I’ve never experienced anything like it Brooke, either way he did it.’

‘So why are you in trouble?’

‘It’s all gone to shit again today. I take a
massive step forward with him then about six back. He completely shut down this
morning when the power guys turned up, and then his friend broke the remaining
ice so he could head off to do whatever the hell he does every day.’

‘Just ask him already.’

‘He told me that he’d tell me if I really wanted
to know, but said he didn’t want me to know as I’d see him differently. He wants
me to remember him fondly.’

‘Well turning his dark side on every few days
isn’t helping you do that, is it?’

‘No,’ I sighed. ‘How can I have fallen for him so
hard, Brooke? He keeps secrets, he swings from Mr. Perfect to Captain Cranky
times …
ten
in an instant.’

‘He gives you oral with no thoughts of his own
pleasure?’ she suggested. ‘I’m sure any woman would fall for a guy like that. I
mean, if he then built her a walk in wardrobe with shoe and handbag space and
her dream kitchen, any woman would kill for him, even if he was ugly.’

‘O, Brooke. We could be so good together, I feel
it. I know he does too, he admitted as much, but told me that he won’t leave
his life up here. Even though he comes to London every few months to visit his
family, he’s refused to see me.’

‘Babe,’ she sighed with a sympathetic look, ‘you
know you wouldn’t be happy only seeing someone every few months.’

‘That’s what he said. Am I that bad?’

‘You’re just someone who’s more comfortable in a
relationship Ellie, you love taking care of people and if you don’t have a
partner you look for a substitute to love instead. Personally, as your go to
substitute, I don’t mind. I love having you mother me, cook and clean for me,
but with a guy you need someone who’s going to give back as much as you put in
and every few months isn’t going to cut it, I don’t care how freakin’ amazing
his oral skills are. I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you
just need to enjoy it while it lasts, if it even restarts, then move on when
you get home.’

‘I know, keep talking, batter some sense into me,
because each time I see him all reason goes out of the window.’

‘Why wouldn’t it? The guy’s hot, flame my pussy
hot.’

‘I thought only Molly did that now,’ I laughed.

‘Hey, she may be an all-out lesbian, but I think
he’d even get hers wet. I still can’t believe you had sex with him.’

‘Me neither,’ I sighed with a bite of my lower lip
as I recalled where his hands had touched, the words he’d whispered in my ear
between pants for air, and the exquisite stretch of my inner thigh muscles as I
parted to accommodate him.

‘Hey babe, your eyes have glazed over, get back
here with me.’

‘Sorry.’ I shook my head and drank some wine. ‘So
how was your break with your mum and dad?’

‘O, wild,’ she replied with a roll of her eyes, as
if the sarcasm in her voice didn’t give it away. ‘The most excitement we had
was when we heard Mum shriek in the kitchen on Christmas morning and ran in to
find the uncooked turkey zooming around the kitchen floor with a pair of furry
black legs and a tail. Next doors cat only got its head stuck up the Turkey’s
arse, or head, or whatever end that huge hole is.’

‘No,’ I giggled.

‘That little fucker sneaked in and had obviously
tried to get the bag of innards out, got wedged and freaked out. I’m not sure
if he was more scared or Mum when she saw the headless turkey she’d got out of
the freezer the night before bashing into furniture and meowing as its tail
quivered.’

‘What did you have to eat instead?’ I laughed.

‘Instead? She insisted on cooking it saying the
breast meat would be fine.’

‘No!’ I gasped.

‘Yes, but when Dad and I refused to eat it, she
carved it up for the bloody cat and we had to make do with sausages wrapped in
bacon and the vegetables, so that damn cat struck lucky twice.’

‘Wow, that was one seriously happy cat, turkey
attachment trauma aside.’

‘Not for long,’ she giggled. ‘I stuck some
laxatives in it just to get him back.’

‘Brooke!’ I laughed. ‘That’s evil.’

‘
He’s
evil. Eating my sodding Christmas
dinner. It’s not the first time he’s sneaked food out of our kitchen either. I
thought he’d got the message when he wolfed down some Chicken Vindaloo last
year, the look on his face when he took a shit the next day was priceless.
That’s one ring sting he’ll never forget. He walked off like John Wayne.’