31 Days of Winter (34 page)

‘I can’t,’ I mumbled as I halved the button
mushrooms and threw then in.

‘Because you’re turned on.’ He said it as a
statement again, which was really irritating, how did he know that?

‘No,’ I protested.

‘Please,’ he laughed. ‘I watched your cheeks flush
and pupils dilate as I stepped in the front door, your erect nipples were the
size of saucers, you’re struggling to maintain a steady breathing rate, and you
keep flexing your hips trying to take the edge off.’

‘Fine,’ I snapped, irritated that he knew. ‘I’m
horny as hell. I haven’t had sex in nearly a year, I’ve just had my period and
I’m always desperate for sex after that, and you’re walking around … like a … like
a
big pot
of male testosterone bombarding me with your raw sexual
pheromones and my body’s programmed to respond to all that. Happy now?’ I
clutched the edge of the worktop, shut my eyes and sighed.

‘No. You’re saying it’s all chemical? Nothing to
do with me?’

‘I don’t know what you’re asking, Dan.’ I drank
another half glass of wine as I used a tub of chicken stock and threw a few
glasses of the wine in to coat the breasts and mushrooms in the slow cooker.

‘I’m asking if any guy walked through that door
earlier, would you be so desperate for sex?’

‘You can’t ask questions like that,’ I replied as I
put the lid on and started to tidy up the worktop.

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s inappropriate.’

‘I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed that
you want to fuck me.’

‘Wow, you’re on fire tonight with
inappropriateness. Has anyone ever accused you of cockiness?’ I spun around to
glare at him and wished I hadn’t, looking at him only made me more desperate.

‘I’ve had comments on that area of my body before,
yes. Women seem partial to it.’

‘Partial to it?’ I felt my blood boil, the thought
of any other women with their hands on him was painful, which was ridiculous,
it wasn’t like I had ownership stakes over him.

‘Are you jealous?’ he asked.

‘No,’ I lied. ‘Do I have a question I can ask
today?’

‘Yes.’

‘How many women have you slept with?’

‘Ask another question.’

‘No, you can’t pick and choose all the damn time.’

‘You won’t like the answer,’ he said firmly.

‘I’ll tell you how many men I’ve been with if you
agree to tell me.’

‘Fine, probably about a thousand or so, give or
take,’ he shrugged.

‘A
thousand?
’ I gasped and knocked back my
wine with shaking hands.

‘I’m a very sexual person Ellie, who didn’t like
to commit to one woman too long.’

‘Didn’t like to?’

‘You’ve had your personal question for the day. Do
you feel better for knowing that?’

‘No,’ I answered truthfully, but now I knew why he
was so skilled with his fingers and tongue. I desperately wanted to know what
stopped him. How could someone with that appetite suddenly go without for three
years?

‘Your turn.’

‘I’m sorry … what?’ I stuttered

‘To answer the question, not to become one of the
many,’ he smiled, which didn’t help my desire at all. I’d happily become one of
the many if it meant having him between my thighs, stretching me to capacity,
filling me with … damn Brooke and her analogies, I had a cream filled donut on
my mind now. ‘Ellie?’

‘I’m sorry what?’

‘How many men? Please don’t tell me you’ve had
more partners than me, it will bruise my ego.’

‘No, not more than you,’ I replied as I went back
to top up my wine, noticing he’d hardly touched his.

‘How many?’

‘I’m embarrassed, I’d prefer not to say.’

‘You agreed. I’m not judgemental Ellie, sex is a
natural thing, why shouldn’t women enjoy it as much as men.’

‘I didn’t enjoy it
that
much,’ I scoffed.

‘Ellie,’ he growled, sternly. I rolled my eyes, he
was going to think I was so naïve.

‘Fine. Two.’

‘Two hundred? That’s … that’s not so bad,’ he replied,
sounding totally unconvinced as I watched him gulp. I burst out laughing.

‘So when you said you weren’t judgemental you had
a maximum figure in mind?’

‘Well, I’d have preferred it to be a bit lower,’
he frowned.

‘So you really do have chauvinistic double
standards, Dan,’ I exclaimed.

‘Sorry, I’m not normally bothered, but I don’t
like the idea of you being with that many men.’

‘Because you care?’ I asked as I dared to look up
into his dark brooding eyes and detected a slight nod. ‘It’s much lower,’ I
nodded.

‘You said two hundred.’

‘No, you heard two and assumed it was two hundred.
I’ve only had two partners.’

‘Two?’

‘You sound shocked,’ I replied as I headed over to
the single armchair next to the fire with my new wine.

‘I am.’ He came and sat on the sofa, choosing the
corner that faced me.

‘Why would you be shocked?’

‘You’re intelligent, funny, stunning and sexy,
with a phenomenal body and that’s before a guy even gets to know you and
realises how big your heart is.’

‘Thank you,’ I blushed and looked down. This
conversation was making things really hard for me. He’d basically just recited
all the things I thought about him, with the exception of not adding
mysterious
to the list.

‘Why not more?’

‘I’m not into sex for the sake of it, I need a real
connection with someone.’

‘And you had a connection with your two
boyfriends?’

‘Yes.’

‘Zac and … who was the other one again?’

‘Matt, I worked with him at the Casino while I was
at Uni.’

‘Did you love him?’

‘Yes, he was my first love so he meant a lot to me,’
I nodded as I swilled my wine. ‘We became best friends first and then it
progressed.’

‘How did it end?’

‘You know what? That’s a question I’m going to
decline to answer for once.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t have to answer that. Just like you don’t
have to answer any of mine that you don’t like.’ I stood up and went back to
the kitchen and pretended to check the slow cooker. I wasn’t ready to tell him
that it had ended because I’d found out that I’d been seeing a married man for
two years. I was too ashamed of myself even to this day, even though it wasn’t
my fault. Matt had lied from the start, but I’d still caused his innocent wife
so much pain. I was so naïve, I’d never once questioned why I never stayed at
his, why he only saw me on certain nights, or why we had more sex at work in
the stores room than anywhere else. I sighed as it just reminded me that I
really didn’t have a great track record when it came to men.

‘I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,’ he
called.

‘I know that. Are you actually going to drink your
wine?’

‘One glass is fine for me, thank you.’

‘You’re not a big drinker?’

‘No, not really. You, on the other hand, seem to
be on a mission tonight.’

‘Trying to dull my predicament.’

‘The sex starvation.’

‘Yep,’ I nodded as I stirred the contents of the
slow cooker with my back to him.

‘Come here,’ he ordered.

‘I’m good over here.’

‘You’d be good anywhere, Miss Baxter,’ he advised,
far too loudly for someone over on the sofa. I squealed as he grabbed me, spun
me around and threw me over his shoulder and marched back to the lounge. Was it
really only two weeks since he’d last carried me like this? His hand firmly
clutching my bottom. I smiled and quickly tucked my hands into his back pockets
like I had that night. ‘Déjà vu, Miss Baxter,’ he chuckled sexily and firmly
plonked me down on the sofa.

‘What are you doing?’ I gasped as I scrambled up
into the corner, trying to get away from him.

‘I thought we’d test out one of the items on your
list.’

‘My list?’

‘Of requirements for guests. Have you ever played
backgammon?’ he asked as he bent over in front of me to open the small case.

‘No,’ I squeaked as I looked up at the ceiling to
avoid looking at his perfect arse.

‘Then I’ll be your teacher.’

‘I can imagine you’d be a very good teacher.’

‘I am. In many things,’ he replied with a smile as
he sat next to me.
Well, kissing and oral you definitely have down
, I
thought as I smiled back.

We spent two hours playing and laughing, and he
was impressed how quickly I picked it up. I was impressed that he actually gave
away some information on his life as we talked. Nothing major, just what his
job in IT had been, his favourite music and stuff.

‘Told you board games were a must, that time’s
flown and you
are
a good teacher, thank you.’ I smiled as I scooted to
the edge of the sofa.

‘You can’t walk away now, I’m winning.’

‘Chauvinistic
and
competitive. What a
combination.’

‘You forgot irresistibly handsome and very gifted
in bed.’

‘See, cocky. Besides, I can’t comment on the last
one, not having experienced it.’ I screamed as he grabbed my ankles and dragged
me down the sofa, my legs over his and he leaned over me and started tickling
me on the ribs as I continued to scream and writhe. ‘Stop, please stop.’

‘You don’t think I’m handsome?’

‘No,’ I giggled and screamed again and gripped his
shoulders, digging my nails in as I tried to push him back. He stopped his
torture of me immediately.

‘No?’ he growled looking very offended.

‘Handsome’s too tame for how you look,’ I
whimpered below him as my chest heaved and I dropped my eyes to his throat, embarrassed.
I was so ready for him to fuck me, I could feel the crotch of my jeans digging
into my tender, swollen slick flesh and the tip of his denim cased erection was
just nudging against me. Four thin pieces of material were all that stood
behind me and my strongest worldly desire, and I could feel the heat rising
between us. I looked back up at him and he was chewing his bottom lip as his
eyelids hung heavy. He looked at me like he was the Lion and I was his prey. He
suddenly blew out, shut his eyes, stood up and walked quickly to the utility
room and shut the door.

I lay on the sofa panting for a while and cursed
as I put my hand between my thighs, he’d got me that turned on I could feel my
arousal had dampened my jeans. I managed to get myself up and thought about
changing, but what if he noticed I’d changed and thought it was because I’d actually
peed in my pants? Like I wanted him to think I had a continence problem? It was
too late anyway, I heard the door behind me open and I looked around to see him
come out, looking a whole lot calmer than I felt.

‘So when are we eating? I’m starving.’

‘I need to do the rice.’ I didn’t look at him as
we passed each other. He went to sit back on the sofa and I returned to the
kitchen and put some double cream in the bubbling pot first. I deliberately
didn’t go back over, needing to keep some distance between us for a while,
until I’d calmed down, which could be anytime from now until never. I could
feel his eyes following me as I moved back and forth, setting the place mats,
laying the cutlery and putting fresh glasses of water out. I wondered if he’d
let off steam in the toilet, masturbated to take his edge off. I closed my eyes
for a second and imagined his hand moving up and down his shaft as he thought
of me, and I let out an involuntary groan.

‘You ok?’ he called.

‘Great. You?’

‘Great, too. It smells really good.’

‘You need to find somewhere that does cookery
lessons, you’ll miss my dinners when I’m gone.’

‘I’ll miss you,’ he replied as he locked eyes with
mine.

‘You’ll have other guests to keep you busy,’ I
shrugged.

‘I’ll miss
you,
Ellie. Will you miss me?’

‘Yes,’ I said quietly as I broke eye contact and
quickly drained the rice. He’d never know how much. ‘Are you going to come and
eat or what?’

He tucked in with the appetite of a man who hadn’t
eaten for weeks and I idly wondered what he’d be like after having sex all
night, there’d be no stopping him. I cleared up and he challenged me to another
game of backgammon. I kept shifting restlessly on the sofa every time his thigh
brushed mine or he looked at me sideways. I made my excuses and went to the utility
room, shut the door and leaned back on it. I sighed and grasped my aching
breasts and squeezed them trying to stop them from throbbing, but it only made
it worse. I resolved to go out and make my excuses with a headache and draw the
night to an end, I couldn’t take any more of this torture. I opened the door and
walked straight into his chest and felt his arms go around my body to clutch my
back side. He lifted me up level with his face as I clutched his strong biceps
and squeezed.

‘You need to come or you’ll go crazy. I’m going to
make that happen for you again.’ He hadn’t asked for my permission, but I caved
like a pack of cards, nodded my agreement and he walked me back over to the
lounge. The desire on his face reflected my own. If I thought I’d soaked myself
earlier, I had no idea how much more turned on I could get, but I knew now.

‘Sex?’ I whispered and he closed his eyes and
shook his head.

‘No.’

‘But I want to touch you,’ I groaned.

‘You’ll be too tired by the time I finish,’ he
advised. I went to kiss him but he pulled his head back. ‘No kissing, I need to
maintain my control.’

‘This isn’t how I want you,’ I pouted as he sat me
down in front of the fire and held my arms to stop me from swaying.

‘You’d prefer me to stop?’ he questioned with
raised eyebrows and I hesitated and bit my lip. I wanted him to make love to
me, to kiss me and do everything that a couple would normally do. But we
weren’t a couple, it was never going to happen and I was too weak to resist any
scrap he offered. ‘My way or not at all Ellie, what’s it to be?’