30 Days (19 page)

“I see. I will need you to undergo a psychiatric evaluation to have on file stating that you are of sane mind. As a back up to filing for divorce. As all the money and assets are in your name only. I see how Power of Attorney was his only legitimate option to gain access to it all. He needs you alive.”

“Speaking of that, currently he doesn't. My will leaves most everything to him and my sister. My sister recently passed away. So now everything goes to him. I need a new will drawn up too.”

“Very well. Can you come back tomorrow for a psych. evaluation and to do the will? I think we can take care of the divorce papers and asset protection today.” He asks. He is very straightforward with me which I appreciate.

“Yes, I can be back tomorrow anytime.” I breathe.

“How will you be paying?”

“Cash.”  He smiles, nods his head and says, “ Let’s get started.”

After a long afternoon of hunting down all my assets without calling my investment broker we finally we have everything I need in place ready to go. Joe has set up the appointment for the evaluation for tomorrow morning so that there is record of me being mentally stable through this whole process. I’m not taking any chances. By the time I get home I’m emotionally exhausted and fall into bed without eating dinner or changing.

Wednesday at ten am I head back the offices of Jowett and Cutler. The doctor Joe found on such short notice also happens to be a legend in the mental health world. So he tells me. They usher me into a conference room to wait for him.

“You must be Elle.” He extends his  hand to me. I take it giving him a firm handshake.

“Yes and you must be Dr. Morgan.”

He nods and sits in the chair next to me.
“Mental Status Examination evaluates an individual's
cognitive function
and screens for cognitive loss. It will test your orientation, attention, calculation, recall, language and motor skills. An individual can score a maximum of 30 points on the test; a score below 20 usually indicates cognitive impairment. Are you ready to begin?” He asks.

“Yes, please.”

I was asked how I’m  feeling, or how I’m eating and sleeping. If I worry a lot, have excessive, or not enough, energy throughout the day. If I have a family history of mental illness and various other questions. I was honest and upfront about the suicide attempt, treatment for that, how I had grown and changed and how I’m dealing now.

Forty minutes later we’re finished and twenty minutes after that he declares me a person of sane mind. Obviously. An hour after that all the findings have been recorded and notarized and are put into a thick file with my name on it. I can’t help but think that folder contains my real freedom should I need it. Sanity, divorce and all my assets.

“Joe thank you so much. I feel better already.” I tell him as he walks me to the elevators.

“You’re very welcome Elle, I’m sorry you’ve had to endure the things you have.” He looks sincere. “Remember you need to have a way to get in touch with me if something happens. I doubt if you’re carted back to the hospital they will permit you to call your lawyer.”

“Yes. I’ve thought of that too and I’m working on it. I’ll let you know what to expect if the worst happens.” He puts one arm around my shoulders, gives a quick squeeze and then backs away as the elevator doors open.

“Bye.”

“Bye Elle.”

The elevator doors cut us off and the elevator plummets me down to the lobby. I again, feel emotionally drained, but also like I’ve accomplished something important. I head back to my rental feeling like I’ve finally taken control of part of my life. I’ve finally taken charge and I will do whatever it takes to not feel hopeless again.

I celebrate my little victory that evening by indulging in a bottle of my favorite wine and cooking myself a delicious steak dinner. I bring it out to the deck and sit listening to the ocean while I eat in peaceful solitude. When I finished dinner, I dug through my suitcase and with my list in hand took it to the fridge and hung it there.  Tomorrow I’ll start.

Three weeks gone

I hit one to play the voicemail.

“Ryan, Mick here. We got a hit. She registered for a cooking class in Falcon. Two days ago. I’m heading there now to have a look around.”

Falcon? That’s two hours south of here. Why the hell would she go there? I pull up Dr. Rand’s direct line and hit send. He’ll want to know this.

***

The thing that strikes me as most interesting is that she registered for the class with a partner. The recreation department only had her name listed for the registration and the class was paid in full with cash at arrival. The teacher was the one who’d informed Mick that she attended the class with a man. When Mick showed her a picture of Elle, she said that it could be her but the woman she taught had brown hair not blonde and the eyes looked different. The man with her, Colin, she thinks his name was, was tall and handsome. My teeth ache from grinding them back and forth, who the fuck is Colin?
I'll go to hell before I'll see you with someone else Elle.

PRESENT
             

DAY 18

Before returning the car we’d stopped by Ben’s place and he’d taken a picture of us in it together. Jenna had been over and had easily convinced me to let Ben take her for spin around the block before we left. When they returned, Ben and Colin had blabbered on eagerly about what a fine piece of engineering the car was. Jenna and I had roared with laughter watching the two of them act like teenagers.

This morning at the gym Jenna had shown up declaring that she wanted to be bad ass like me. Colin spent the better part of our workout getting her up to speed and trying to get her to focus on what we were doing versus drooling over all the rock hard male bodies beating bags surrounding us.

“How do you do it?” She asks breathless from our hour training.

“It gets easier.”

“Not the workout hussy, the men!” She chortles.

“I don't do them.” I drawl.

“I mean, how do they not distract you. It’s like hot man central in here.”

“I’m kinda hooked on my own hot man.”

“Yeah, Colin is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah, he is.” I smile.

“What are you two up too today?”

“I believe today is get a tattoo day.”

“What?!” She squawks in horror.

“I just have to get one. It doesn't have to be big.” I reply. Truth be told I’m a little nervous. I don't have any tattoos and I imagine it’s going to hurt like hell.

“What are you getting?”

“I don't know yet.” I shake my head. “I can’t think of a single thing I want.”

“Jesus Elle. Do you really have to do
everything
on the list?”

“No, I don't
have
too... but I’m going to.”

“Ready babe?” Colin throws an arm over my shoulder.

“As I’ll ever be.” I shrug while plastering a nervous smile on my face.

“Eh, it won't be that bad.” His attempt at comforting me is lost in the nerves attacking my body at the moment. I turn my attention back to Jenna

“Alright well, see you tomorrow Jenna?”

“Do I have too?” She whines.

“Come on... we can be bad ass together!”

“Fine. Tomorrow.” She relents.

The Animated Canvas tattoo shop is buzzing, literally. Tattoo artists sit hunched over customers, needles piercing skin creating artwork to last a lifetime. I flip a few more pages in the
look book provided to me from Axe, the man who will tattoo me. I’m a little concerned that a man named Axe will be doing anything to me quite frankly but Colin assures me that he is the best at his trade.

“I don't see anything I want.” I huff. The hazel of Colin’s eyes temporarily soothes my frustration.

“Do you trust me?” He questions.

“You know I do.”

“Then let me pick something out.”

“Umm, I’m not sure
that’s the most brilliant idea.” I scoff. “This is permanent.”

“Elle, I’ll get the same thing if you let me do this.” He returns. Now I’m intrigued.

“Well, what is it?”

“A surprise.”

“Wait you want me to get a tattoo and not know what it is until it’s
on me!?
” The shrill of my voice startles even me.

“Yup.” He replies coolly. I stare at him for five heart pounding seconds before my mouth betrays me.

“Ok.”
Dear God Jenny what the hell have I just agreed too?
Colin doesn't hesitate leaving me standing alone to speak with Axe privately. Heads nod and hands shake and then he calls me over and motions for me to lay on the table.

“Where would you like it?” His voice is rough.

“How big is it?” I mumble. He holds his hands up demonstrating about three inches to me.

“How bout here?” I lift my shirt and point to my the left side of my rib cage. At least clothes will hide whatever it is I’m getting if I put it there. Axe nods and then gets to work with Colin making a stencil of sorts. Axe transfers it onto my skin and looks to Colin for approval.

“Perfect.” With his response I’m laid back on the table, Colin’s hand strangled in my grip as I hear the needle start buzzing. When the needle hits my skin I clench his hand even harder and squeeze my eyes shut scared that I’ll flinch and make a mess of the tattoo. To my surprise though it doesn't really hurt. My eyes fluttered open as Colin’s soft chuckles fill the air.

“Not so bad is it?” He grins down at me bearing that insanely sexy dimple.

“I guess not.” I say still keeping as still as possible. It feels like a mild sunburn being slapped, that stinging sensation it would leave behind. Colin entertains me with conversation for forty five minutes until Axe declares I’m done.

“Wash with Dial twice a day for a month but other than that keep it as dry as possible. It will itch after a week or so, DO NOT ITCH IT.” He instructs gruffly as he tapes a paper towel over it.

“Can’t I see it?”

“Not yet.” Colin answers.

“Ready man?” Axe asks Colin.

“Yes.” Colin goes through the same preparation that I did, taking care that I don't get a sneak peak. I sit in the chair next to the table he’s on while Axe tattoos the inside of his bicep.

“Don’t look Elle.” Colin chastises as I perk up and try to get a glimpse.

“Why so secretive, it’s already on me.”

“Just wait.”

Another forty five minutes later we are taped up, cash is exchanged and we’re heading out the door together with matching tattoos that I still haven't seen.  I’m in agony waiting for this big reveal.

“Colin this is ridiculous.” I pout walking back to the cottage.

“We’re almost home Elle, what’s the difference now?”

“Irritating!” I sing making him laugh.

I push the key into the lock and turn blowing through the door full tilt towards the bedroom’s full length mirror.  Colin stays close at my heel until I stop abruptly to pull my shirt off. Standing in front of the mirror watching him smile the entire time he pulls the tape from my skin and gently lifts the paper towel away.

I’ll never let you g
o
is scrawled three inches long down the side of my ribcage. The skin is still an angry red color, puffy and irritated looking. My gaze drifts up to Colin’s in the mirror. I suck in a sharp breath as I’m caught up in a tornado of emotion. He has the same thing on his arm. They are simple, black ink only, but the meaning of the words are anything but. Bending at the waist his lips brush where my neck meets my shoulder. I pivot, turning to face him. “Perfect.” I breathe just as his lips come crashing into mine.

DAY 19

“I l
ook like a hooker.” I bristle as I exit Jenna’s bathroom.

“How else are you going to get someone to say something lewd to you?” She deadpans. I roll my eyes at her and tug on the bottom of the dress that barely hits my thighs.

“I think this outfit might be overkill.”

“Shut up. You look fabulous. You’re smokin’.”

Teetering in my four inch heels I round the corner to the living room. Ben and John whistle and cackle at me. Colin just looks mad. His jaw ticks and his lips are gathered into a thin line.

“Quit it. This was all Jenna’s doing.” I complain.

“You look hot.” John gushes making Colin turn another shade red.

“Yeah Elle, if you were a book cover you’d be a best seller!” Ben laughs.

“You’re not leaving this apartment like that.” Colin states through a clenched jaw.

“That’s what I said!” I huff throwing my arms up in frustration.