#3 Truth and Kisses (10 page)

“You and Matt are meant to be together,” she said when I was done. A chill ran up my spine. I was thinking about what Des had said about how things have a way of working out, and I wondered if that applied to Matt and me. Sophie interrupted my thoughts.

“Did you hear what I said? You and Matt are meant to be together.”

I nodded into the phone. Sometimes Sophie can be a little intense, but she's usually right.

Sunday, March 2, 5:18 p.m.
Day of surprises

Billy called this morning and asked if I would come over to his house. I had no idea why he wanted me to. We've barely spoken since the dance. To be fair, he tried to find out what was wrong, but he stopped trying, so I couldn't imagine that he was going to start again now.

When I got to his house, I found out why he called. I wasn't the only one Billy had asked to come over. Brynn was there too. I had no idea he had asked her to come over, and from the look on her face, I don't think she knew I was going to be there either. I could tell she was just as uncomfortable as I was. We haven't spoken in over two weeks. But the minute I got there, Billy made us both sit down, and he started talking.

“We've all been best friends since third grade.” He paused like he wanted the weight of that to sink in. “I don't know quite what's happened lately.” Brynn and I looked at each other when he said that. Billy didn't miss the animosity between us. “OK, I think I have an idea,” he said. “And I don't like it. We need to put the drama behind us and get back to all being friends.”

I didn't say anything, and neither did Brynn. Billy looked at both of us like our reaction, or lack of it, was frustrating to him. “I didn't want to come right out and ask this, but you're not leaving me a choice.” He paused. “Have you been fighting over me?”

It sounded kind of conceited coming out of his mouth and actually a little bit funny. I guess Billy thought so too, because he smiled and added, “I can't imagine why. But here's the deal: we're all friends, and we're all going to stay friends. No one will be more.” He looked at me. “We've tried it, and it didn't work out.” I grimaced. I knew what he meant, but his words stung. Brynn looked like she was relieved that he didn't think she was the problem. But he turned to her like she wasn't excluded from the blame. “NO one here can be more than friends. We're the Three Musketeers. Always have been. Always will be. Capiche?”

Brynn and I looked at each other and silently nodded. A lot had happened. But I think neither of us wanted to acknowledge that our friendship has changed. I got the sense she wanted to cling to the idea of us being the Three Musketeers just as much as I did.

“Capiche,” I said.

“Capiche,” repeated Brynn.

Billy grinned. I could tell he was pleased with his diplomacy skills—and with his next move. He brought out popcorn, mini Reese's, and lemonade, which we all agreed were just as perfect as when we decided they were our snacks of choice, way back in third grade.

—Oscar Wilde

Monday, March 3, 3:45 p.m.
Spring Break
Not off to a great start

Matt texted me after lunch and asked if I wanted to hang out at his house and watch a movie. We sat side by side on his couch for ninety-four minutes watching
Anchorman
. He still had on his baseball clothes from practice this morning. He smelled like a field, but I liked it. We laughed the whole time, but what we didn't do was kiss. Our legs were literally side by side, and I kept thinking that at any minute, Matt was going to put his hand on my knee and lean over and kiss me. OK. I'll admit it: I wanted him to. I tried to send vibes to lean over and do it, but he didn't. When the movie ended, he stood up and stretched. “Thanks for coming over,” he said like it was time for me to go, so I did.

Ugh! One question: why didn't he kiss me?

6:29 p.m.

It was really bothering me that Matt didn't kiss me so I called Sophie to ask her why she thinks he didn't. “Simple,” she said. “He wants to create sexual tension.”

I laughed like that explained it, but when I hung up I had to look it up on Urban Dictionary. It said,
The tension felt between two people who want to do something sexual together but hold back.

Seriously? It was kind of gross reading about it. I'm not even sure kissing qualifies as “something sexual,” and I'm really not sure that was what Matt was doing.

Sometimes Sophie really can be weird.

Tuesday, 4:32 p.m.

I'm tossing Sophie's sexual tension theory out the window. I didn't hear from Matt all day. I was hoping I would, as I spent most of the day in my PJs watching cartoons with May and June and eating stale cereal. By 2:00, when I hadn't heard from him, I took the highly unexpected step of cleaning up my room. I thought for sure the good karma created from doing something Mom had been asking me to do for weeks would net me a text or a phone call.

But it didn't.

6:02 p.m.

OMG!

Mom didn't ask me to walk Gilligan before dinner, but I did it anyway, hoping I'd see Matt, and I did. He was in his front yard, throwing a Frisbee to his dog. I actually regretted that I'd decided to walk Gilligan, because I didn't want it to seem like I was looking for him, but when Matt saw me, he waved. “I was going to call you tonight,” he said from across his yard. I didn't respond. “I was thinking it would be fun to go to the beach tomorrow. You in?” he asked.

I nodded. Thank you, God. Thank you, Gilligan.

Wednesday
Best day ever!

I have so much to write. Today was the best day of my life, and I'm putting down every perfect detail so years from now when I go back and read this (and I know I'll go back and read it), I'll remember every moment.

It started this morning. Matt and I took the bus to the beach. It's weird. I've lived in Faraway my entire life, and I've never taken the bus anywhere. It's not even like I've wanted to. But Matt seemed to know what to do, so I followed his lead. It was fun sitting side by side with him and checking out the other passengers as the bus rattled across Faraway toward the beach. When we got there, with the exception of a few people walking along the shore and a group of old ladies doing tai chi, the beach was pretty much deserted.

“Let's go in,” said Matt after we'd put our stuff down. He motioned toward the water.

He'd seen me in my suit before, but I suddenly felt self-conscious about being alone with Matt and how I looked in my bikini. “It's kind of cold,” I said, pulling my sweatshirt in around me.

Matt smiled. “C'mon,” he said. “It's not that bad.” He peeled off his T-shirt and sneakers. I tried not to react, but it was hard. He looked so cute and boyish standing there in his trunks with his tight abs.

I knew it was my turn. I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off. Matt was watching me. As I lifted my sweatshirt over my head, I said a quick prayer that my boobs would grow right there on the spot so that by the time my sweatshirt was off, they would protrude nicely from my top.

“Nice suit,” Matt said. Goose bumps were forming on my skin. We stood there for a minute just looking at each other, then Matt took my hand and we ran to the water's edge. I thought he was going to stop when we got there, but he kept going. It was cold, but it didn't seem to bother Matt. He pulled me out until we were waist-deep. “I love the water,” said Matt.

I wasn't as comfortable as he was. I could feel the tide pulling me out. I grabbed Matt's arm. “I got you,” he said instinctively, then pulled me toward him. His hands encircled my waist. As we moved out deeper, I let the strength of the current push me closer to Matt. My stomach was pressed against his. I felt the muscles in his midsection tighten. A warmth spread through me despite the cold water. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before.

“April.” Matt whispered my name. His face was inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my skin. Then his mouth was pressed against mine and we were kissing. Softly at first. Then Matt's grip tightened around me. Unlike the last time we'd kissed, this time his tongue easily slid into my mouth. My arms found their way around Matt's neck as the warmth of his tongue pressed against mine and his fingers tensed up on the small of my back. I don't know how long we kissed like that, but as the current started to push us out, Matt pulled away. “We better go in,” he said hoarsely.

When we got back to where we'd left our belongings on the beach, my skin was covered in goose bumps. I shivered. Even though the sun had started to warm the day, it was still chilly outside. Matt took a towel out of his bag and dried my arms and back, then laid it out on the sand. “C'mon.” He gestured to the towel. “Let's dry off for a while.” Matt lay down, and I lay next to him. I was a little afraid he was going to pull me on top of him and try to kiss me like that. I wasn't sure I was ready for that. But Matt just stretched out his arm and motioned for me to put my head on it and use it like a pillow. We lay next to each other like that for a long time. Neither of us said a word. We didn't need to. It was just sun and sand and peace and quiet. I'm sure it was the definition of Zen, and I loved it. When it was time to go, Matt propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at me. “You're cute, California.”

I grinned. It was the first time he'd called me that in a long time.

As great as the day had been so far, the best thing happened on the bus on the way home. I'll never forget it. Matt took a pen out of his bag and pushed the sleeve of my sweatshirt up over my elbow. “Close your eyes.”

When I did, he started writing.

The pen tickled my skin and I tried to pull my arm away, but Matt kept a firm grip on it as he wrote. “Open your eyes,” he said when he finished.

When I looked, I couldn't believe what he'd written. The note on my arm said:
Will you go out with me?
Matt had drawn two boxes with labels under each box—
yes
and
yes
. He handed me a pen. When I checked
yes
, he wrapped his arm around me and took a picture of us with his phone.

Even if he hadn't taken the picture, it would have been a totally memorable day.

Thursday, March 6
An unfortunate follow-up

Matt called and asked if I wanted to come over, which I did. His mom was at work, which was cool because we hung out on his couch, watching game shows and making out. To be honest, we kissed so much that my lips were actually swollen. But I didn't care. I think I could have kept kissing Matt forever.

I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but it's true. All I want to do is kiss Matt. I can't believe I ever felt uncomfortable around him. When I left his house, I actually felt a pain in my chest like I was going to miss him even though I'd spent the last three hours making out with him. Ugh! How could that even be possible? It was an awesome afternoon … until I got home.

“Where've you been?” asked Mom when I walked into the house. Her face looked suspicious, like she doubted my whereabouts. I said a quick prayer.
Please don't let my lips look as bad as they feel.
Before I'd left, I'd told Mom I was going to hang out with friends. I hadn't lied, but I'd been intentionally unclear. Sooner or later I was going to have to tell my parents about Matt. “Matt and I are going out,” I announced.

Mom nodded for a long time, like it was taking her a while to formulate what she wanted to say next. “Did this happen yesterday when you went to the beach?” she asked.

I nodded. I was glad I'd told Mom where I was going.

“Were you with him again today?” I nodded again. I didn't want to start this relationship off with a lie.

“I see,” said Mom. But it didn't seem like she saw at all. Her tone was harsh and clipped, and when Dad came home, they both wanted to talk to me. Privately. I had a bad feeling as I followed my parents down the hall to my room.

“April, there are some rules we need to put into place,” said Dad as he closed my door.

“Is this about Matt?” I asked. My parents looked at each other and nodded.

“We need to know whenever you're with him,” said Mom.

Dad continued. “We want to know where you're going to be and for how long.

“And what time you will be home,” added Mom.

They were a tag team, and they weren't done yet. “You're not allowed to be in your room alone with him,” said Mom.

“Or alone at his house,” said Dad.

I could feel anger rising inside of me. I couldn't believe what I was listening to. I hadn't done anything wrong, and I felt like I was being punished. The happiness I'd felt when Matt and I were alone together at the beach and today on his couch vanished. “You didn't have any of these
‘rules'
when I was going out with Billy,” I said to my parents.

They looked at each other, and then Dad looked at me. “Matt's not Billy,” he said.

“That's a fact, not a reason,” I said to Mom and Dad.

But they just looked at each other and then got up to go. Apparently, for them, it was reason enough.

Friday, March 7, 9:15 pm
Weird day
Weird parents

Matt came over after lunch today. We were hanging out in the backyard (which I thought was a good idea as it didn't violate any of Mom and Dad's three billion rules), and May and June were actually out there with us. Matt pushed them both on the swings until they couldn't go any higher. They were laughing and having fun. Everything was great until I said, “My turn.” Then Matt started pushing me, and the minute he did, Mom came outside. She was like the swing police.

She motioned for me to come down. “Your father is coming home from the diner early, and we're going to have a family outing,” she announced in this weird, formal way. Then she looked at Matt. “I'm sorry, Matt, but you'll have to go.”