You Before Me (8 page)

That was what she wanted after all. I,
on the other hand, wanted to kiss her. So I did. Ryan looked
beautiful afterwards, just like I said. Her eyelashes fanned over
her cheeks, and she was as lost as I felt. I can't believe no one
has ever said that to her. What do they tell her then? Anyway, she
asked me to stay, and I wasn't about to turn her down.

Now, we're lying on our sides in her
bed. Ryan had nothing but pure lust in her eyes when she came back
from the bathroom, and it's still lingering there.

“You never told me what scares you,” I
say, knowing it's a risk to bring that up again.

She sighs. With a blink, her desire
disappears. “Thanks for effectively making me not want to sleep
with you anymore.” She pauses. “Well, right now anyway.”

I chuckle, but wait for her to answer
me.

“If I tell you, do you promise not to
bring it up ever again?”

“Sure.” I'm expecting her to tell me
something that isn't that big of a deal.

Ryan rolls to lay on her back and
quietly speaks. “All my life, I've been trying to make up for not
being what they wanted. I'm scared that it's a hopeless
aspiration.”

“Who?” I ask gently.

“My parents. I wasn't lying when I
said I've been a disappointment since birth. Their expectations are
entirely too high, and I can't ever meet any of them. That's all
I'm willing to say. What are we going to do on our second date?”
She turns her head to look at me.

I smile, even though my mind is
floored with what she said. “We're having a private shooting
lesson.”

Ryan grins. “I'm kind of excited about
that. A little scared, but a little excited too.” She covers her
mouth with her hand to yawn. Then she rolls over, gives me a quick
kiss, and adds, “I'm getting sleepy. G'night, Gabe.”

“Night, Ryan.”

I close my eyes with her, but my mind
is still thinking. Her parents are obviously a touchy subject, and
I want to know more. Unfortunately, I promised never to bring it up
again. Maybe Ryan will want to share that with me
eventually.

In the meantime, I need to keep myself
from swooping in like Prince Charming himself. That doesn't work.
With every relationship and me doing just that, I've lost the girl.
There's only so much I can spare to lose after having lost so many
times. My gut tells me that if things ever get serious with Ryan, I
won't just lose. I would be utterly defeated and completely
depleted of love to give. There should be a guard around my heart,
so I can most definitely stop being that guy who is too good, too
eager to trust.

My body starts to relax as I open my
eyes to see Ryan sleeping peacefully. The length of my night plus a
long work day hits me hard and soon, I'm asleep.

* * *

A hand is tangled in my hair, slowly
playing with my curls, and my pillow is moving underneath me. As I
start to wake up, I realize my head is lying on Ryan's breasts. At
some point, she became my pillow, and I'm hugging her to me. I open
my eyes and see that I'm correct. I lift my head to see a smile,
and Ryan's gleaming green eyes, her hand sliding to the side, but
still twirling a curl around her finger.

She giggles, making me smile. “You
sleep like a girl. I couldn't even cuddle with you because you
decided to use me as a pillow.”

“Sorry,” I say as I go to move away
from her.

“Don't you dare, Gabe. Your hair is
too soft, and I'm not done touching it. Lay back down, please.” She
gives me a sweet smile, so I do. Her fingers start moving once
more, and it's kind of soothing.

“What time is it?”

Before she can answer, her bedroom
door opens. A girl walks in, sees us, and starts backing out,
obviously surprised to find me in here with Ryan.

“What the hell, Viv?” Ryan asks
annoyed.

“Sorry!”

“I'll be right back.” Ryan leaves me
in bed and on her way out, she says, “This is the second Sunday in
a row you've barged in on my Me Day. It's never anything that you
couldn't text me about either.”

Me Day? Ryan leaves the door halfway
open, and I can still hear their conversation.

“Sorry!” she repeats. “I didn't know
you had company. Who is that?”

“Why are you here? Do I need to get my
key back?” Ryan's tone is slightly threatening.

“You weren't answering your phone. I
wanted to make sure you were okay after last night, but I can see
that you are more than okay.”

I toss the covers aside and get up.
There's no sense in me hiding in the bedroom. Ryan sees me first,
her mouth parted for whatever she was about to say. The girl, Viv,
turns around as I walk up to them. With her traveling eyes, I wish
I had a shirt on. When I reach her, I hold out my hand.

“Hey, I'm Gabe. You're the friend who
called me, right?”

“Yeah, that'd be me. Nice to finally
meet you.”

Ryan grabs her shoulders and starts
pushing her towards the door. “Viv was just leaving.” Ryan walks
with her all the way to the door. “Stop coming over on Sundays,
Vivian. I mean it.”

“Bye,” she calls over her shoulders
before Ryan closes the door behind her.

“Sorry,” Ryan says, coming back to me.
She takes my hand and leads me back into her bedroom. “We'll
pretend she was never here.”

I laugh. “What's so special about
Sundays? You said something about a Me Day?”

Ryan crawls into bed and pulls me on
top of her. “On Sundays, I spend the day here all by myself. I
mostly relax and sometimes take a bubble bath.”

Grinning, I say, “So I must be special
then, huh? To be here today?”

“Really special.” Ryan leans forward
with a smile and gives me a little kiss. “It's noon, by the
way.”

Noon? Wow. I haven't slept in that
late since I was a teenager.

“Do you want to spend my lazy day with
me? We can lay here all day.” That seducing smile is back, her arms
wrapping around my neck.

I dip my head and kiss her neck.
“Mmm,” I hum against her skin, “that is tempting.”

“Please don't let there be a
'but'.”

A chuckle escapes me. There were some
things I wanted to do today before I headed to my parents for
dinner, but most of the day is gone already. I could still get
everything done, though. Lifting my head, I look at Ryan with a
smile.

“You are too adorable and hot all at
the same time. It's ridiculous, you know that, right?”

I laugh again. “That's good to know.
And there's no 'but'. I just have to leave in a few hours to get to
my parents in time for dinner.”

Her stomach rumbles beneath me, and
her eyes widen. “How about you tell me about your family while I
fix breakfast?”

So we head into her kitchen. I lean
against the counter near her, but far enough away that she can move
freely without me getting in the way. She asks if I like omelets
and when I say yes, she begins to fix two.

“Anything in particular you want to
know?” I ask, but she shakes her head. Where to start? “Well, my
mother is a stern, religious, old-fashioned woman who would like to
have family dinners every Sunday to make sure that we'll still come
around. My older brother, Keith, doesn't live around here, so it's
kind of hard for him to make it. I go whenever I don't have to
work. My father is strict, but he's more openminded than my mother.
I think that would be the best word for it. He's more willing to
bend rules than she is, which is ironic considering his
job.”

Ryan nods like that fits whatever
image she had in her head. I can't see what she looks like because
she's facing the stove. “What about Owen and Keith? What are they
like? I mean, I know I met Owen, but that was only for a few
minutes.”

“Keith pretty much fits the bill of
what you would think an FBI agent would be like. When he's home and
away from work, he's much more relaxed and more like my brother.
And Owen is a good kid. Good grades, great football player, and a
kind person with lots of dreams.”

“Does he want to go into law
enforcement too?”

I shake my head, even though she can't
see me. “No. Well, that's not his top pick anyway. All he can think
about right now is making it to college to play football.” Ryan's
foot moves to rub against the back of her calf on her other leg,
effectively distracting me from whatever I was about to say. Her
legs are amazing. They will be the death of me, I'm sure. Ryan says
something, but I don't catch it. “What?” I ask, not taking my eyes
off her legs until they turn around.

Ryan laughs, realizing why I didn't
hear her the first time. “Gabe, I asked if you would get the
drinks. I'm almost finished.”

“Oh, okay.” I push off the counter and
go to the fridge. “Water or Sunkist?” I say, even though I already
know the answer.

“Sunkist. The water is only in there
for any guests who don't want my drink of choice.”

I turn to face her with a raised
eyebrow. “And you have guests over often?” There are only about
three water bottles left, and I grab one.

Ryan narrows her eyes at me. “What are
you implying, Gabe? But to answer your question, Viv hates Sunkist
and as you saw, she's here a lot.” She takes the plates and sets
them on the kitchen table before walking away.

I put our drinks down, take a seat,
and wait for her to return. She comes out of her bedroom with her
phone and hooks it up to a speaker system.

Over her shoulder, she says, “I listen
to music all the time, but especially on Sundays. Today, I'm in the
mood for my Back in the Day playlist, if that's okay?”

“Sure.”

I wonder what songs she would classify
as “back in the day.” The very first song is Stevie Wonder's
“Superstition”. Okay, I wasn't expecting that, especially for
someone her age. The music plays as a soft background noise. Ryan
comes to sit down with me, and we start to eat.

“What are the other men in your family
like? You said that y'all get together every month to go shooting,
right?”

“Yeah. We're simply a bunch of very
competitive men with too much testosterone. I mean, it is a group
of men shooting guns, talking smack, and throwing in a dirty joke
every now and then.”

Ryan laughs lightly. “That actually
sounds really fun. With the things that come out of my mouth, it's
easier to be around guys than girls sometimes.”

“Build Me Up Buttercup” comes on, and
I'm continuously surprised by what music is on her phone. “We're
getting together this upcoming weekend. We can still get a private
lesson in first. If you wanted to go, that is.”

Ryan watches me while we eat silently.
She's quiet for so long that Elvis' “Jailhouse Rock” starts playing
before she answers. “Okay, sure. But even if I have fun when I'm
with you, I don't know if I want to participate with your
family.”

“Fair enough. I think you'll like it
though.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Kind of hard not to enjoy it. You'll
see.”

Tina Turner starts singing some song
I've never heard about the rain. When we finish eating, we put our
plates in the dishwasher, and I excuse myself to the restroom,
taking the opportunity to brush my teeth as well. I step out and
hear The Temptations. Faintly, I hear Ryan singing “My Girl” as
well. She has a pretty voice, but once she hears me coming, she
stops.

“You didn't have to quit,” I whisper
in her ear when I come up behind her, grabbing her hips.

She giggles. “I didn't think you heard
me.”

“I did. You're good.”

“Helps when I've taken singing lessons
before. I'll be right back.”

She disappears down the hall to the
bathroom, and I sit on the couch, noticing she threw away the
forgotten popcorn from last night. Chuck Berry starts singing “Roll
Over Beethoven”. I have to say I like her choices, and I'm
impressed she has an entire playlist of songs like this. As I sit
on her couch, I realize that I'm still shirtless in her apartment.
That I slept here last night. I haven't figured out a lot about
Ryan, but what I know so far has kept me coming back to her. Odd
doesn't begin to cover my behavior, but I can think about that
later.

Ryan comes back, but instead of
sitting next to me, she straddles my lap, her hands resting flat on
my chest. I instinctively hold her hips, trying not to let my hands
wander down to her bare legs that are now seriously begging me to
touch them.

“I've been thinking about something,”
she says. By that familiar look in her eyes, I know her mind is in
the exact spot as mine.

“Oh yeah?” I question, my pulse
already speeding up. I vaguely realize that “Let's Get It On” comes
on.

Ryan realizes it because she laughs,
clearly cracked up by the song. “I think my playlist is conspiring
against us.” I chuckle and she continues in a softer, no longer
focused on the music, voice, “I've been thinking about these.” Ryan
lifts a hand and places the tip of her finger in the middle of my
bottom lip. “And this,” she says, moving her hands over my chest,
up to my shoulders. Then she starts going down my arms, gently
squeezing my biceps. “And these too.” Ryan lets her hands go all
the way to my own. She plucks them from her hips, my hands lifeless
in hers, giving her complete control. She holds them up before
intertwining them with hers. “Last, but definitely not least.” Inch
by inch, Ryan leans forward until she is close enough to press her
lips against mine. “But mostly these.”