You Are Mine (15 page)

There's not long before someone will
come to get me. I'd prefer to go out there where there's less
likely to be a scene. I hope. At least I'll be one step closer to
where I need to be wearing this dress and one step farther from
being forced into the slip.

Before I go, I stop at the jewelry box
and make one concession. A silver necklace with a single square
ruby. Mother's favorite. Whenever we take the jewelry box out, she
threads it through her fingers and admires it before putting it
back. As I put it on, my head feels a little fuzzy. The world tilts
a little before righting itself. When the dizziness stops, I let
the jewel rest against my chest. After several deep breaths to try
and clear my head, I open my door and stride into an
antechamber.

Father is talking to Phyllis and
doesn't notice me. The world starts to pull away. Or maybe I'm
pulling away from the world. Things seem far away. Off. A door
closes somewhere.

Phyllis spots me and yelps.

Father follows her gaze to me and
halts whatever he's saying. “What is that?” He gapes at me several
moments, his face growing redder by the second. “You will change
into the dress your mother provided immediately.”

I don't want to, but my far off body
turns toward my room. A hand closes around my arm, stopping
me.

“
Don't change.” The Envadi
lords over to me.

“
Do you see what your
future bride is wearing?” Father says. “She's dressed like a
harlot.”

How can he think that? My dress is
infinitely more modest than the traditional one. Yet the words
bite. I've never been called such a name. I want to hide, but my
body doesn't respond.

The Envadi's face is hard, his voice
just above a whisper. “I gave her permission to wear
it.”

“
Are you mad? You must
call off this ceremony immediately. You obviously can't control the
wench. I'll take her in hand until she's subdued enough for the
ceremony.”

“
And how long do you think
that will take?”

“
Certainly no less than a
year.”

The Envadi scoffs. “The ceremony will
happen today and she will continue to reside at the
manor.”

“
You can't mean that.”
Father's voice is lower now, but more dangerous. “You'd have her
dressed as a red tarnished?”

No one says a word. I feel as if tears
should be forming, but nothing comes. It's hard to be grateful I'm
not fighting the weakness when I can't seem to do anything.
Finally, the Envadi speaks.

“
The ceremony will take
place now or you will face the penalty of a broken
contract.”

Why is he sticking up for
me?

Father pounds toward me, hand
raised.

“
Any punishment will be
doled out by me in private,” the Envadi says.

My stomach cramps. This is why he's
sticking up for me. Mother was right. It's a trap. He'll see how
far I'm willing to take my mistakes so he can punish me more. I'm
only saved from losing my breakfast by the detachment that's
plagued me.

Father growls and, instead of hitting
me, yanks me to him. “Come. You're about to be
sacrificed.”

What?

My feet move without my telling them
to as my heart pounds. What did he mean by sacrificed? Phyllis
opens a door and Father moves through it, dragging me
along.

The chattering in the room silences.
All faces stare at me, but I don't know what their expressions are
like. One thing has captured my attention. A sacrificial altar.
Just like at the tournament, but resting on a floor of stone
instead of grass.

Who are they going to kill at my
engagement ceremony? Whose life will be on my hands? It was hard
enough so far away at the tournament, but now I'm a few feet from
it. I'd run if I could.

Father lets go and I sway. He waves
his hand. A blue thread of light travels to me and bursts under my
feet. I'm flung in the air. I try to scream, but my body doesn't
respond as I soar upward. Air rushes past me. The ceiling grows
closer. The crowd more distant. Just before I hit the ceiling, the
ascent stops.

If it wasn't for the tea, I would be
screaming in terror, disregarding Katherine's warning from when she
dropped off the dress. The crowd watches me from fifty feet below
as my dress flaps in the breeze. The extra length is even more
appreciated now.

The watching crowd unnerves me as I
float there. I gaze upward. The arched ceiling is ten feet above
me. I focus on it and try to ignore the feeling of air brushing the
skin of my feet.

Abruptly, I'm yanked downward. The
ceiling grows farther and farther away from me. My hair streams
above me. Those gathered come back into view. I'm going to smash
against the rock floor. The fear while falling is worse than
soaring upward. My heart pounds.

My body won't move in any way to help
protect me from the fall. The Envadi's face flashes by. I stop. It
takes a moment to realize I didn't crash. A faint spell flows from
Chancellor Zade, cushioning me to the ground.

His face is taut, void of expression
except his eyes. They burn with barely controlled rage. I try to
bow my head so I can't see how furious I've made him, but my head
won't move.

From the side of me, Father grabs my
wrist and thrusts it toward the Chancellor. “She's
yours.”

Chancellor Zade grabs my wrist and
with his free hand, unties my hair ribbon. The bit of red floats to
the floor as my dark locks fall to my waist. He scoops me into his
arms.

The ceremony is over. He's going to
carry me to the carriage and I'll be able to go to the house. Find
Cynthia. Figure out how to get rid of this fog clouding my attempts
to do anything.

When he places me on the cool stone, I
know being finished was too hopeful a thought. My body shivers. It
comes to me.

There's no tarnished coming
today.

I am the sacrifice.

“
Don't move. Don't speak,”
the Envadi whispers.

His words mean nothing to me. I want
to run screaming away from the altar I lay on. But I can't. I can't
do anything on my own. Just his exact words. Don't move. Not even a
twitch. Despair engulfs me.

The Envadi moves my arms above my head
and shackles them. His hand encircles my ankles and places them in
shackles on the other side of the altar. As if I could move anyway.
If I could, I would fight with everything I have.

He can't kill me though. If wives were
killed before marriage, none of us would be here. The thought
should comfort me, except he's clearly going to do something. But
what? I watch his every move.

He stands at my side facing the crowd.
His hands hover over me as if he's about to cast a spell. Nothing.
The longer I stare at those hands, the more I need this tea to wear
off so I can move. I have to get out of here.

“
Happiness.” His voice
booms through the room.

Sunny light burst through his hands.
As soon as it hits me, I'm laughing, so full of joy to be laying on
this altar for him.

“
Sadness.”

A deep blue is cast on me this time. I
sob, tears stream down my face, wetting my hair and the stone
beneath me.

“
Hunger.”

The straw-colored light hits me and my
stomach spasms. I'm hungrier then when I had to go a week without
food. A moan escapes me.

“
Satiated.”

The spell fills me and the pain
stops.

“
Health.

My body brims with strength. If I
could rise, I would break through the shackles.

“
Sickness.”

Olive green slams into me. Aches and
chills. I dry heave.

“
Pain.”

A scream bursts from me. My back
arches off the table.

“
Contentment.”

I fall back to the table, but it feels
as if I'm on a feather bed. I sigh.

The feeling leaves. I'm sweating. I
want to cry. Or rage. Or scream again. But I can do nothing. My
body doesn't respond to anything I try.

“
All thoughts and feelings
will be mine.”

He reaches to his waist. A clang
reverberates through the room. He holds a dagger above. I am going
to die. For a moment, I panic, then peace fills me. There will be
no more punishments, only darkness. I hope my sisters can survive
without me. Please let them survive.

“
Blood of thine.” He
thrusts the knife toward me, slicing my neck. The wound doesn't
hurt. I won't be afraid as I wait for it to lunge at me again. I
won't.

He raises the dagger. It angles toward
his own arm and makes a small cut. Why did he cut himself? I can't
figure it out, but relief that I'm still alive fills me.

He sets the blade on my breast bone
and holds his hand out. A midnight blue spell slinks to my neck and
coaxes my blood into the air. It reminds me of getting tested. The
light forms a sphere above me, tugging and jerking deep inside. It
hurts, the pain growing and gnawing in me. I want to cry out. A
stream slips from the orb and flows to the Envadi's cut.

“
Becomes mine.”

The tugging stops. The orb shrinks as
the last of my blood he must have wanted flows into him. I'm woozy
seeing my life's blood go to him. The metallic smell makes it
worse. But I can't do anything about it. The nick on my neck
stings.

He grabs the dagger and sheathes it.
With the aid of a spell, he floats up until he's standing on the
altar next to my waist. A mass of colors and sparks fly from him,
dashing around the room. The crowd murmurs. Blues, greens, silvers,
yellows, all invade my sight. One slips to my neck and the sting
eases.

Sparks pop faster among the colors.
The colors sparkle, glitter, and dance. All at once, they're gone.
The Envadi stretches out his hands, then yanks them higher. I
spring upward until the chains are tight. My pulse is erratic as I
hover in the air, still on my back. My waist brushes against the
Envadi, my arms and legs aching against the chains.

He blasts a dark spell over me. “You
are mine.”

Chapter
Fifteen

I
kneel in front of the altar. The stone chills my legs.
Something is bound around my neck. The Envadi holds a leash. I
choke back a cry. Or maybe a shriek. But the tea still has me under
its power.

I've been collared like an animal. The
Envadi glares at me. His lips tighten and he looks away. He's more
barbaric than I thought.

The gathered crowd shuffles. I realize
all women in attendance are being leashed like me. The Envadi yanks
on the leash and strides down the aisle. I scramble after him still
detached from myself. If I could control my body, I would fight
against him. Or at least I think I would. Maybe I wouldn't. The
fight is in me, I'm just so tired.

As we pass the crowd, they fall in
behind us. Women with their heads down and men leading them along.
We move through the room and into a long passage. The stones are
cold beneath my feet. As we walk, the world comes closer again,
more in focus. Still not normal, though. I can't quite reach
myself.

The smell of buttery rolls and roast
venison wafts to me and grows stronger. We walk into a banquet
hall. A feast awaits.

I'm led to the middle of the main
table, a long rectangle, with a throne-like chair where the Envadi
takes a seat. When he says and does nothing further, I hover behind
him, grateful I'm more in control of my actions, but still not
fully connected. Like some part of me is forgotten. The Envadi
hasn't forgotten me though. His grip tightens around the handle of
my leash.

Father sits on the left. The woman on
his leash is not my mother, but a tarnished scantily clad in red. I
stare at her hoping for some clue why a red tarnished has taken
mother's place, but she doesn't glance my way. The Grand Chancellor
takes the chair on the right. The woman on his leash isn't
tarnished, but has a stark black star on her neck, elaborate swirls
around it. His wife? She kneels on the ground before him. The
others sit and some kneel or lay on the floor. Only one other woman
stands behind a man's chair. Once everyone is seated, the Grand
Chancellor gestures at the Envadi.

He jerks the chain. I fly toward the
table. “Get me food, wench.”

I stare at him, willing my gaze to
make him disappear. Instead, his jaw clenches. His thumb rubs my
leash. Not wanting to make him throw me around more, I face the
table.

There are so many choices, I don't
know what to grab. What will he do if I pick the wrong thing? My
hand shakes as I lift a fork to a whole boar, with onions and
carrots surrounding it. Its sides are carved into slices. I dish
several onto the plate. A pheasant is nearby so I add that, as
well.

The dish is nearly full from the meat
I've put on it. More than I thought. Not much of a meal. I grab a
hunk of bread and spoon on some peaches. The food trembles as I
carry it back. A peach slice falls to the floor. I freeze, staring
at the offending piece.