You Are Mine (19 page)

The strings come undone easily.
Beneath the wrappings are a charcoal colored blouse and skirt. I
hold them up. Buttons line the front and back, though on closer
inspection, only the ones on the front are workable. It's
embroidered with a darker shade of thread. Tasteful, but not
overdone. Other than being two pieces, it's too elaborate to be a
tarnished ensemble.

I like it, but I don't know if I can
wear it. The thought of getting dressed myself encourages me to
try. I step into the skirt and put the blouse on, button it, and
place the belt over it like the instructions suggest. It's easier
than I expect. Almost like helping my sisters, but on
myself.

The mirror beckons me. I hesitate a
moment, then stride to it. The outfit looks good. Really good. I
can't believe how much I like it. The blouse is elbow length and
has matching gloves. A thick black belt is over the top of the
skirt and blouse making it appear that I'm wearing a one piece with
the top puffed out. The belt seems masculine, but holds a certain
appeal. The material is soft as I brush it with my fingers. The
front buttons are appealing rather than confining. They're the size
of a strawberry, and spaced apart with fabric covering them instead
of tiny ones clustered together. But is it acceptable?

I adjust the belt, though it was
perfectly fine, and head for the study. I pause just outside it.
When will I learn to take problems on at full force? Not today. I
can't bring myself to touch the knob.

“
You can go in.” I jump at
Chancellor Zade's voice. “It's all right.”

I put a hand to my chest. “I thought
you were in there.”

“
No, I was taking care of
a few things.”

He brushes against me to open the
door. “Go on in and pick a seat.”

I walk past him, aware of our close
proximity. The maroon chair was unlucky for me last time, so I pick
the sofa. No word about the dress. Maybe he didn't notice, or even
better, is ignoring it.

Chancellor Zade opts to sit next to
me. Why is he getting so close? The memory of Thomas attacking me
surfaces. I inch away from him, ready to defend myself if
needed.

“
Serena, my family learned
that I'm getting married and wants to meet you.” The thought of
having to meet another warlock isn't as bad as being attacked, but
not something I'm eager to do. “They can't come now, so they sent a
gift instead.”

I won't have to meet them then.
Realizing this, I want to relax, but the threat of a gift still
hangs over me.

“
They are sending a lady's
maid. She should be here next week.”

Another living gift? His family wants
to spy on me, as well. I force my expression to remain pleasant.
How am I to handle two spies? Three if you count
Cynthia.

A thought hits me. “Wait, what's a
lady's maid?”

“
She'll basically do what
Phyllis has been doing. It's what we call them in
Envado.”

“
What will happen to
Phyllis?”

“
I'll send her to the
kitchens with a note of apology to your Father. We can't refuse a
gift from my family, it would be rude, and you've been able to use
Phyllis for a little while at least. Unless you'd like to keep
her?”

Keep her? I'm ready to load her in a
carriage. “No, that will be fine.”

Chancellor Zade shifts toward me.
Closer than he's been since my branding. “I think it's important to
tell you, that while Waverly's condition of being here is a gift,
she agreed to it and will be paid for her services.”

“
She's not working off a
debt then?”

“
No debt.”

“
That's different.
It's
—
”
How do I feel about this? I suppose it's rather like paying
Katherine for making a dress. What if I could work to pay her? Have
my own money? Silently, I laugh. An engaged woman never works. Only
singles and tarnished. And a woman like me isn't supposed to have
money. “It's good.”

Chancellor Zade relaxes against the
sofa. “I was hoping you'd think so. She won't pose the same
problems as Phyllis.”

That isn't certain. “A warlock could
still make her do or say what he wanted.”

“
She's an Envadi. Things
are different for her than they are for you.”

“
But if a warlock casts a
spell upon her, she wouldn't have a choice.”

He takes my hand. It's big and strong.
It's harder to think with him touching me, even through a glove. I
don't know if I want him to let me go or take hold of my other
hand, as well. “Don't worry about it. Like I said, she's different.
She can take care of herself.”

No woman can do that. The Chancellor
wraps his other hand around ours. “You can trust her. With
anything.”

“
Except things I want to
keep from you.” After the words leave my mouth, I flinch. I want to
go back in time and clamp my lips shut. Stop those words from
escaping. But it's too late.

He raises an eyebrow. “You have
secrets you want to keep from me?”

I swallow.

He gives my hand a squeeze. “I have
secrets, too. We all do. I give you my word she's trustworthy and
that I have not and will not force her to reveal anything to me you
haven't given her permission to do so.”

I hold his gaze. My throat
tightens.

“
I know you won't be
comfortable with it, but you can trust her,” Chancellor Zade says.
He looks at the clock. “Phyllis will be coming by soon.” He
squirms. “There's one favor I, uh, wanted to ask of
you.”

I cock my head toward him, curious
about his change in behavior and wondering what he could possibly
ask of me.

“
It seems that most
engaged men are more, uh, amorous with their future wives. I
haven't wanted to
—
I don't
want
—
”
He glances away before looking me straight in the eye. “Phyllis
reports to your Father. I wondered if we might show her something
favorable to report.”

“
What type of
something?”

“
I'd like to be kissing
you when she comes in.”

This is wrong. He's sort of doing what
I first suspected, but not even close to how I suspected it. “Why
are you asking? Warlocks always take what they want.”

A light pink fills his
cheeks. Is he
—
? He's blushing. It's strange for him to have the bit of
color. I didn't know men could do that.

“
Envadi aren't as
aggressive with their kisses.”

I realize my hand is still in his.
It's warm. Too warm. I withdraw. “I see.” I fold my arms then
unfold them and place them in my lap. “Why did you want to leave
this impression again?”

He pulls at the cuff of his sleeve.
“It seems word has gotten around that instead of harming your
virtue like everyone thought, I've been too cold and distant.
They're saying you should be taken away from me and given to
another.”

“
And this is a
problem?”

“
They only way they can
legally do it, is if I'm dead.”

“
Oh.” Why does he not
force his kisses upon me then? I still don't understand. But I'm
sure I don't want to go back to Father's house. “I suppose it would
be fine.”

Instead of relaxing like I expect, he
looks more nervous, scratching the back of his neck. He scoots
closer to me and puts an arm on the sofa behind me. I become
rigid.

“
Before I came here, I was
engaged to a girl back home.”

The shock of the statement shoves the
tension from me. “When did she die?”

He gives an unhappy chuckle. “She's
perfectly alive and healthy.”

“
But you can't possibly be
my intended then.”

“
Laws are different there.
Engagements aren't as binding. We don't have a ceremony until the
wedding and no contract is ever sealed. Just an agreement made,
which I broke at our engagement ceremony.”

Another should have belonged to him,
not me. I should be back at Father's house or owned by another. An
odd pang trembles through me.

He clears his throat. “I'm telling you
so you know why I don't act like the typical groom.”

I nod, though I really don't know why
it matters. At least to me. It's easy to see why he cares how
others may view it, but why does it matter if I know?

“
May I kiss you
now?”

No. Kisses leave me feeling sick. “I
suppose it would be for the best.”

He leans closer. I want to pull away.
Thomas's kisses were callous. Painful even. The thought of more of
that makes me feel queasy. But giving my permission somehow makes
it harder to pull away.

His hand reaches up and brushes my
face. Flecks of gold are mixed with the green of his eyes.
Suddenly, he scoops me into his arms and plops me on his lap. I
yelp.

“
Sorry, I guess I should
have warned you first.”

After straightening my skirt with
quivering fingers, I hold myself stiff. His nose nuzzles against
the side of my neck. Warm lips brush my jaw and sweep along my
cheek until they reach the corner of my mouth. My breath comes in
shallow gasps. He smells lightly of citrus.

I don't move. His fingers tangle in my
hair. His lips hover over mine. A nervous flutter grows in my
chest. The creak of the door opening spurs him into
action.

His lips touch mine. Flowing and
sunny. They grow firmer. It feels so much better than I thought it
could. His fingers run through my hair, the tendrils falling out of
their confinement. Heat grows between us. He pulls me closer to
him. Not only do I manage to refrain from fighting him, but I want
to draw even closer.

“
Ahem.”
Phyllis.

He leans away, though still only
inches from me. “Why are you interrupting?”

My face feels flushed. I try to slow
my breathing.

“
Sorry, Chancellor. I was
told I was needed in here.”

He turns on her, face tight. “You are,
but not now. Didn't you get my message?”

“
What message?”

“
My family also gifted
Serena a servant. She'll need to be shown your duties when she gets
here.”

“
My duties, Master? Not
hers?”

A grumble sounds from him, vibrating
his chest. “No. You'll be working in the kitchen. We're grateful
for you services so far, but with this new servant, you're needed
elsewhere.”

“
I see.”

“
Then leave. I'm busy
right now.”

My face grows hotter. He presses his
lips back on mine. It's much different than when Thomas kissed me.
Softer. Slower. Comfortable. Nicer than I thought kissing could be.
I don't even mind it. In fact, I think I like it.

Suddenly, he pulls away and sets me
back on the couch. Why did he stop? I realize Phyllis is no longer
in the room. When did she leave? My face heats. I put a hand to my
tingling lips. The fabric of my glove may be soft against them, but
feels coarse after his touch.

He clears his throat. “Thank you for
your help with that.”

“
Certainly.” Just doing my
duty as your possession. Though it felt like more. More what, I
can't be sure of.

His lips press together. It's silent a
moment before he shakes his head and says, “There's one other thing
I wanted to discuss. It's customary for council members to hold a
ball the day before they get married.”

The council? Why do they even care?
“It is?”

“
Looks like it. Council
members are usually married before they're on the council, so it's
not done often, but I've been told we'll need to hold one. Would
you be willing to arrange this? I can give input where needed and
Waverly's good at that sort of thing. You could ask for help from
anyone else you want.”

Exactly the sort of thing I hoped
never happened. Not like I can refuse. Or maybe I can, he is
asking, and he let me pick my dress and go shopping on my own. It
could be possible to say no.

I smooth the gown of my charcoal
skirt. Perhaps Katherine could make a ball gown for me. I could
wear it and tell those who are interested in it who made it. It
could aid her, if they like it. But in doing so, I'd create another
dress she wouldn't get paid for.

“
Will you plan it?” His
voice pulls me from my musing.

“
Yes, Chancellor
Zade.”

He brushes the seat of the sofa. “One
thing. As part of this type of ball, there's a sacrifice. That will
be mine to take care of. If anyone wants to know about it, send
them to me. Okay?”

A chill runs through me. I
nod.

“
Good. Everyone on the
council should be invited and those of rank. You probably know
better than me.” He waves his hand. I duck, but no spell comes.
“Maybe not. I'll get you a list.”

It sounds daunting. “I'm not very well
versed in things like that. Cynthia's good at it. Bethany's
better.”