Yesterday's Tomorrows (22 page)

I allowed my eyes to take their fill of her pert breasts, not big, but more than a handful was a waste anyway, and I already knew they filled my hands perfectly. Her stomach was amazingly flat and toned above the lacy line of her underwear, and her hips flared slightly to give her an enticing feminine form.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I managed to say. She closed the space between us with one step.

“With you, I almost believe it,” she whispered, looking deep into my eyes. “I want you, Holt. Please, make love to me?”

My knees almost buckled at her words, at all she was offering. This wasn’t some experienced stranger passing through town offering a blowjob back in her hotel room. In her quiet way, Maddy was demonstrating her trust in me, and in doing so, I felt my heart break completely free from the chains of the past.

I pulled her to me, and if I thought holding her earlier felt good, it was nothing compared to skin on skin. “By the time I’m through with you, you won’t have a single doubt as to how beautiful I think you are or how much I want you.” Our lips crashed together, and there was nothing sweet about the way tongues swept together and teeth nipped.

I reached beneath the curves of her ass and lifted her, loving how her legs wrapped around me so that our sexes aligned.

Swinging us around, I managed to speak. “Not here. My room.”

She smiled in agreement, and I carried her across the hall and laid her reverently on my bed.

A
s soon as
Holt said ‘my room,’ I knew it was his way of making this different for him, too. It was his way of adding another layer of the intimacy he’d avoided the past five years. And if I hadn’t fallen for him before, I knew I was in love with Holten Andrews.

He laid me down on his bed and stretched out over me, holding his weight off me with arms perched on either side of my shoulders. His muscles bulged with the effort as I ran my hands up his arms and down his chest. He sucked in his breath as my nails brushed over his nipples. Intrigued, I scraped them again, grinning at him when he reacted again.

“You think that’s funny, hmm?” he practically growled. “Let’s see how you react when the tables are turned.”

Relaxing more of his weight on me, one of his fingers traced an imaginary line from my shoulder to my cleavage. I sucked in my breath, instinctively arching my back and shifting to get his hand to move sideways. He grinned and his fingers fanned out, just grazing my own nipple, causing me to suck in my breath and bite my lip. I relaxed slightly when his entire hand palmed my breast only to gasp as he rubbed the hard bead that had formed between his fingers. His head bent and found my other breast with his mouth. He used his tongue to circle the bud until he sucked it into his mouth while stretching and pinching its mate.

“Oh, my God,” I moaned, squirming, trying to hold him closer while simultaneously trying to escape the glorious torture, unsure how much I could handle. Holt merely shifted his body to hold me in place while he switched breasts. I felt the heat of my arousal grow wet between my legs. My hips rocked beneath his, feeling his hard length against my leg, and he let go of my breast with one last kiss.

“I love how responsive you are,” he rasped. His hand skimmed down my stomach, stopping at the top of my panties. “I bet you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?”

I didn’t think I needed to answer him, since my hips spoke for me when they shifted off the bed, eager for more of his touch. I thanked the heavens when he took the hint. His hand moved further until he finally cupped my sex through the silky material, his thumb rubbing small circles that had me squirming in seconds. He let that thumb slip under the seam of my panties and repeated the movements directly on my hot skin. I lost all sense of thought.

“Holt,” I gasped. “Please…” I clutched his shoulders.

“Please what, Maddy? Do you want me to make you come again?” His hot breath spoke against my thigh.
Ah, hell, when did he move down there? He wouldn’t actually…

Yes, he would. Even through the material, I felt his mouth kiss me between my legs while his fingers hooked on the sides and pulled it down past my hips. He sat up and watched me while he finished pulling my panties all the way off, leaving me bare for his perusal.

“Perfection,” he whispered, falling forward again, only, this time, there was no barrier as his face landed between my legs. One strong arm landed across my hips to hold me down after I nearly bucked him off when his tongue licked my sex once, then his fingers held me open for his mouth to latch on the hypersensitive inner folds, licking and sucking until I cried his name, something huge building inside. I felt him gently insert a finger into me. His arm across my waist slid up until his hand could squeeze my breast while his finger slid in and out of me before he joined it with a second.

I was suspended on an invisible line between the fear of the unknown and a craving for something I was only starting to understand. My body felt like it was hanging on some fragile precipice that could give way at any moment. And then it did.

“Let go, baby.”

At his whispered command I cascaded downward on a flood of pleasure so intense I should have been frightened. Except I wasn’t because I knew Holt would be there to catch me. And sure enough, when the tide slowed I found myself held tight in his arms. He slid up and pulled me tight against his body while our legs tangled and he continued to press soft kisses all over my face and hair while whispering how beautiful I was.

As awareness returned, it was impossible not to feel his hardness pressing on my upper thighs. I was surprised at how he’d held himself back to make sure I found my pleasure first. Then again, I shouldn’t have been; everything I’d learned and was still learning about Holt was how he constantly put other’s needs before his own.

I trailed my hand to his briefs and slid it under the waistband, first palming his tight butt cheek then coming forward to wrap my fingers around his penis. The second I touched it, he lurched in my hand, moaning loudly. Fascinated by his reaction, I slid my hand up his length to the tip, which was slick with moisture. I smoothed it over the entire head, marveling at how he grew even bigger in my hand as I moved my hand up and down, squeezing gently as I did.

Holt’s hand suddenly shot out and stilled mine. “I’m too close.”

I realized what he meant. I pulled my knee up and rested it on his thigh and guided his hard cock between my legs.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded.

He bent his head and kissed me, hot and fast, then slow and long, like he was pouring out his feelings. His hand slid between my legs once again, his thumb caressing then slipping just inside me. I couldn’t believe the feelings he was stirring once again, making me rock against his fingers seeking more. He groaned into my mouth and rolled off of me to reach inside his drawer. He pulled out a condom and quickly sheathed himself, then kneeled between my legs, lining his hardness up with my slick entrance. The moonlight bathed his body in a soft glow as he held my eyes while spreading my legs further and slowly started to push into me. I wrapped my legs around his back encouraging him to keep going. He pulled out a bit, then pushed forward again, always monitoring my reaction.

He withdrew one more time then surged forward, burying himself all the way in me. I gasped, partly at the slight pinch of pain but more at the fullness that was all the way inside me. Holt fell forward onto me, burying his face in my neck.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” I could feel the tension in his back muscles as he held himself still. “Are you okay?”

I nodded and wiggled my hips.

He slowly started a rhythm of sliding in and out, and after some initial burning, the now familiar feeling started to return and I found myself meeting his thrusts with my own. He sat back on his heels and continued moving faster and stronger while his hand stroked my clit until I was bucking wildly beneath him.

I felt myself splinter apart again, only this time I heard Holt roar my name as he slammed into me one last time and collapsed on top of me as I held him close with my arms and my legs. He quickly rolled to his back and pulled me to rest on top of him. Our chests heaved against each other as we struggled to bring our breathing under control.

I’m not sure how long we stayed in that position before I finally felt strong enough to lift my head. His fingers that had been stroking my hair fell to my cheek.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what?” He tucked my hair that was falling forward behind my ear.

“For…” How did I tell him how special he’d made my first time without sounding like a dork? He was used to sophisticated women, and I definitely was not.

I felt his abdomen muscles clench as he did a half sit up, cradling my face in his hands. “It was special for me, too, sweetheart.” He kissed me; not the passionate kind that led to other things, but sweet and loving. He fell back against the bed and rolled to his side, cradling me against him, my back to his front.

I fell asleep in his arms, wishing it could be like this forever.

“
A
re you kidding me
? That’s forever. No fucking way will I accept that for an answer.”

Holt’s voice resonated with anger. I cringed as I stirred the soup on the stove. We never made it out of bed in the morning, finding better things to do like exploring each other’s bodies, but finally, hunger forced us to get up. Keeping things simple, I opted to make grilled cheese sandwiches and heat some soup. He had used the time to check his email, and apparently something didn’t go over well with him.

“Tell them that’s not acceptable, and I want an answer by tomorrow afternoon.” He ended the call and tossed his phone on the counter, coming up to slide his arms around my waist. He propped his head on my shoulder.

“I think you spoil me, always taking care of me.” He gave me a squeeze and pressed a fast kiss in the space between my shoulder and neck. He set the table while I served the food.

In between bites, we decided to get out of the apartment for a little while. After cleaning up, we headed out and soon we were in downtown Richmond getting tickets for the Confederate White House. We skipped the paid tour, and I was glad because Holt was an excellent tour guide. As we moved throughout the old house, he shared pieces of Civil War trivia, many of which were amusing or personal to people of the time and not found in schoolbooks. I’d always loved history, and seeing it in person was amazing. I listened with awe as Holt made the people of the nineteenth century come alive.

Pretty soon, we had a group of seven or eight people following us as he masterfully drew them in like a professional storyteller. I could picture him in the courtroom using the same storytelling skill to recreate a scene for the jury, drawing them in and making them feel part of the scene. He was able to answer any question asked and never seemed bothered by the attention he attracted. When we finished the last room, everyone shook his hand and thanked him, surprised he wasn’t one of the tour guides who worked there.

“I’m sorry,” he said after the last person left. “I didn’t mean for our date to become so public.”

“It’s fine.” I waved him off. “I’ve never heard history shared so well. How did you know all that?”

“I minored in history in school and growing up around here, I was always fascinated by it and just read and absorbed a lot, I guess. Some people can take history and make it so boring with just facts. But when you peel back the layers and learn about the people and their lives it’s easier to see it differently, I guess. Makes is more personal and interesting, at least I think so.” He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

I grabbed his hand and held his arm as we walked back to his truck. “You were amazing. Thank you for bringing me here. I haven’t gone anywhere interesting since, well, since I moved here.”

He bent his head and kissed me sweetly. “There’s a lot to do around here. Think of some other things you’d like to do and we’ll go, and next time, I promise I’ll be all yours.”

We got back to his apartment and decided to enjoy a quiet evening with takeout and a movie. Somewhere around halfway through I must have fallen asleep curled up against Holt on the couch. I woke up when I felt scooped up into strong arms and carried into his room and gently laid down on his bed. I felt him unsnap my jeans and shimmy them off. I blinked my eyes sleepily and lifted my hips to make it easier.

He went to his dresser and got a shirt from his drawer. “Come here, sleepyhead.” Smiling affectionately, he pulled me to a sitting position and pulled my sweater over my head and unhooked my bra and slid it from me. Instantly, my nipples hardened, and I inhaled sharply.

His eyes narrowed knowingly, and I’d have to be blind not to notice how his pants had tented in the front. He cleared his throat. “Not tonight. You must be sore, and you’re obviously tired.”

I shook my head and rose to my knees. “Not that much. You asked me to make a list of things I’d like to do. I think having sex with you occupies every other number on my list, so I hope you meant it when you said you’d be all mine, ‘cause I plan to collect, Mr. Andrews. I’d hate to sue you for breach of contract.”

His eyes sparkled mischievously. “Well, that was only an oral contract, you know, Ms. Stone. I guess it would only be appropriate if I responded orally.” He crawled off the bed and stood beside it. In one fluid movement, he pushed on my shoulders so that I fell backward on the bed and grabbed my legs and pulled me until my butt was on the edge of the bed. Still grinning, he knelt on the floor and draped my thighs over his shoulders. I propped up on my elbows and watched as he lowered his head and latched his mouth on my clit, licking and sucking gently, taking care not to be too rough.

I thought I’d be too embarrassed to watch, but it was too erotic to look away and instead I reached my hand down and grabbed onto his hair as I moved against his mouth. This time, I didn’t hold back as I rocked against his lips, knowing the ecstasy he would bring me to. In no time at all, I felt the world tilt crazily and spin out of control as I came hard, collapsing backward on the bed as my toes curled and I clawed at the sheets.

I opened my eyes to see Holt shedding his clothes. I pushed myself further up the bed as he crawled on it with all the stealth of a panther stalking its prey.

“Did I satisfy the terms of the contract?” he asked, licking his lips.

“Mmmhmm,” I purred. “But I do hope you recall that there were several addendums that will need further exploration, counselor.”

“Don’t worry. I plan to be most thorough and attentive to details.” By this time he had advanced until he was hovering over me and he captured my mouth in a passionate kiss.

“You should get some sleep,” he murmured. He flipped us so that I was lying beside him. I felt his hardness poking my thighs, almost as if seeking entrance to my body. Last night I’d explored him with my hands, but now I thought maybe there was another way I should get to know him, the same way he’d done to me. I pushed him onto his back, and using his chest for leverage, I sat up and slid my way down his body until I could straddle his lower legs.

I gripped the base of his long shaft and leaned forward.

“Maddy,” Holt groaned as he realized my intention, only the end of my name came out somewhat garbled as I licked the head of his cock and then closed my mouth around it. Despite not having any experience doing this, it wasn’t hard to figure out what he seemed to like the most. I moved my head up and down, taking as much as I could without gagging and using my tongue to tease him. It didn’t seem like long before he pulled me off and sat up. He tugged on my legs until I was kneeling, my legs straddling his pelvis. He reached to the table and grabbed a packet and quickly sheathed himself.

“Put me inside you, baby,” he rasped.

Rising up on my knees, I centered him as I slowly sank back down until every bit of him filled me. “Oh, God,” I groaned. I’d had no idea a different position could feel so different, but I swear he was hitting a deeper spot inside of me like this. He grasped my hips and helped move me up and down, each time I sank down the sensations grew until I knew I was close.

“That’s it, baby, don’t stop,” he called. When my legs felt too weak, he took over, thrusting hard with sure, strong upward strokes until I cried out, my core convulsing around him and my legs shaking and other than his support I would have collapsed. A couple more thrusts and he groaned loud and long as he came hard. This time, I did collapse on him in an ungraceful heap, knocking my head against his shoulder, causing him to grunt, while his arm flopped across my back.

“Damn, baby,” he mumbled. “You drive me wild.”

I smiled. “You’re pretty amazing yourself.” I nestled into him as our breathing calmed, loving the feel of his fingers as they grazed over my shoulders and wound in my hair. We lay there several minutes, sated and quiet, but I wasn’t ready to sleep.

"Holt?" I finally decided to ask a question that had been on my mind earlier in the day.

"Hmm?" His hand continued to lazily stroke up and down my back.

"Do...do you ever blame your baby for Claire's death?"

He jerked back from me, and I could feel his eyes bore into me. "What? No! Why would you ask that?"

"My mom didn't just die when I was a baby; she died of complications giving birth to me. It was my fault she died. If it hadn’t been for me, she'd still be alive. Then maybe my dad wouldn't have become an alcoholic and Charly would have had a better childhood and made better choices."

"Don't you ever say that, Maddy." He shook my shoulder urgently. "You listen to me. A baby doesn’t choose to be brought into this world. They’re an innocent in their circumstances. Unfortunately, sometimes tragedy invades their life, even at birth. But it’s never their fault. I guess sometimes adults can get lost in the tragedy and not appreciate the joy. I think that’s the lesson I learned today.”

He cupped my face in his hands, and his eyes burned into mine. “You deserved to be celebrated, Madelyn. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it about my child, and I’m sorry you’ve suffered the same consequence. Your dad never had the kind of guidance or support like I have, or perhaps he was just too weak, I don't know. But this I do know, you’re an amazing woman. No,” he stopped me as I would have shaken my head, “you
are.
I know everything you’ve told me, and I know everything you haven’t. Stop thinking about what you aren’t, and start focusing on what you
are.”

“And what am I, Holt?” Her eyes held mine captive, all the hope in the world shining in them.

“You’re the woman who blurred all the lines.”