Without You (10 page)

“Thanks for coming by, Sunshine. It was nice to spend some time with you.” He opened the driver’s side door and leaned against it. “I hope you’ll come back again.”

Stepping closer to him so I could get into my car, I said, “Genna has plenty more for us to do so that might be a possibility.”

“Can I see your phone?” he asked.

I handed it over to him without question. “Okay.”

“Here’s my number. It’s dark out and you know me. I won’t be able to sleep until I know you’re home and safely inside. Call me. Or text. Please. Just so I know you’re okay.”

After he finished tapping on the screen of my phone, he held it out for me to take. I reached for it, but he didn’t let it go. Instead, he bent down, dropping his head against mine again. Our foreheads touched. Our fingers caressed each other while we held the phone between us. We gazed into each other’s eyes. Again.

My eyes fluttered closed and I soaked in everything about that feeling. The warmth of his presence so close to me. The scent of his cologne and the taste of his minty breath on my skin. Slowly, he lowered his head, his cheek brushing softy against mine. Without thinking any longer, I reached out with my empty hand and placed it on his hip, squeezing it, letting him know how much I wanted him. Before I committed to anything more, I turned my face into his and pressed my lips to his cheek. The corners of our mouths touched and it was as if fireworks ignited all over my body. I wanted nothing more than to turn this into a full-blown embrace and smooch, but I backed away catching him lick his lips when I opened my eyes. That was it. I needed to go. I slid into the seat of my car, murmuring, “Goodnight, Evan. I’ll let you know as soon as I walk into my door.”

Son of bitch
. Why had I gotten so close to him? I could barely put the key in the ignition, fumbling with it like a damn fool. I was so stupid.
But, god, that had felt so nice.

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E
VAN

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S
he came to see me on tour. At every local show, I looked for her. Hoping that by some chance in hell, we could talk. So I could tell her how much I missed her, needed her, and how I knew I had fucked everything up. I had given Luke and Genna tickets, thinking she might come, but in the seat I had imagined for her was always another friend. I would look down into a sea of faces searching for her. Searching for the spirit that was lost in me without her to share those moments with. I loved my music, but it never seemed to sound the same without being able to gaze into her sexy, sparkling eyes while I sang my heart out.

I wished so much that I could go back in time and change the past, but Maddy had given me something new to focus on.

She kissed me. I could have skipped back into my house after she pulled away. I would have loved for her to stay with me, even to just watch a movie, but I would take what I could get. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Not even ready to give me a real kiss, but her lips touching the side of my mouth did something to me that I didn’t know it could. That small token of affection gave me hope. Real hope that she still had feelings for me. Boyfriend or not, she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. There was no denying the electricity that flowed between us. We still had it.

I could feel it from the moment I leaned down, snuggling my face against hers. I could have taken her right there against her car, but sometimes the buildup is what was needed. When I finally got to taste her again, completely without either one of us holding back, the world was going to know it because we would both be crying out with a pleasure we never knew existed.

Oh, Madison Grey. My life has been so dark without you. You light up my soul like no one else has. No song, no melody is the same without you. Give me the chance to be alive again.

If I had any doubts about my plans before, they were definitely gone now. I needed to talk to Sam about my project and set the plans into motion. It was time.

* * * * *

T
he night before, I waited until Maddy let me know she made it home okay. It was a short text, but she did say she enjoyed spending time with me. Besides the kiss, it was the perfect ending to a perfect night. I spent the rest of the evening on the phone, making plans with Sam and letting him know exactly what my thoughts were. He seemed pleased and eager to see where the idea might go.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “Because there is always a chance that it won’t work out with Madison and then you’re going to be stuck.”

I didn’t have to think twice. “This isn’t completely about Maddy. It’s something I need to do for myself, too.”

“I’m on it then.” That’s all he said before hanging up the phone. And that’s all I needed to hear. It took some of the pressure off knowing he was behind me—that he thought I was on to something and wanted to be in on it, too. My fingers were crossed that my plan would come to fruition and Maddy would love the idea as much as I did.

It was going to be a few more days before I got to see her again, but I had plenty to keep me busy. I called Genna to find out what needed to be crossed off next on her checklist. As long as I wasn’t making myself sick with cake or shopping for dresses I thought I could handle what she threw my way.

“Dance lessons?” Why would anyone need to take dance lessons? It was pretty simple. You held each other and swayed back and forth. “You don’t expect me to learn some choreographed number for the wedding, do you? Because I think I can handle a slow dance.”

“Oh, shut your pie hole and just get there. It will be fun, I promise.” She didn’t say anything else before hanging up the phone. Not even a goodbye.

After making an egg and toast for breakfast, I wondered around my house trying to figure out what to do next. I could have sat down to write, but I was too pumped for that. I had an enormous amount of pent-up energy that I needed to expel. The one way I would have liked to get a little release was off limits, for now. Maybe a little pool would do the trick. I hadn’t played well when Luke came over to visit. Maybe some practice would help.

When I looked at the pool table, I thought of what Maddy said. “Perpetual bachelor pad.” While I didn’t think my house screamed single guy, I guessed it could have been freshened up a bit.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Genna again. “If you could do one thing to my house so it doesn’t look like a man cave, what would you do?”

She laughed into the receiver.

“I’m serious, Gen. Help me out.”

A sigh could be heard, along with another snicker. “Fine. Your kitchen is amazing, so don’t touch it. So are the bedrooms. You need to do something with that massive boy-toy living room.”

“It’s a great room,” I corrected her.

“Well, it ain’t all that great from a woman’s point of view. There isn’t even a place to eat a proper dinner unless you sit at the counter in the kitchen. Get a dining room table and maybe get an enclosed entertainment center for all your video games. Luke, and all his controllers and games thrown everywhere, makes me want to break something. Toss a few throw pillows on your sofas and you’re good to go. Maddy will love it.”

“Excuse me?” I had to hide the laughter.

“Oh, did I say that out loud?” There went the snickering again. “Bye, Evan,” she said in a singsong tone.

A dining room table, huh. That would be easy enough. It was time to do some shopping.

Maddy wanted “stable.” She was going to get it.

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M
ADISON

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“R
oom 18, this is Ms. Grey.” My class got the evil eye while I tried to pay attention to the call from the office. “What? Are you kidding me?”

“No,” the principal’s secretary said. “If you’d like me to ask him to leave I will, but, honey, if I were you, I’d let him have a visitor’s pass.”

“Fine,” I told her. “Send him over.”

Evan was one step away from the looney bin for coming to my work. What in the world was he thinking? My colleagues didn’t know I knew him. Once word got out that he was there, people were going to flip their shit. It’s not as if I could keep something like that under wraps. It was a small school and the rumor mill spread faster than germs in a petri dish.

Turning back to my eager students, I had to think of something quickly to keep them busy. “Change of plans, everyone. Take out your independent reading books and read silently for fifteen minutes. Remember, I’d like you to use your sticky notes for any times you feel any kind of emotion while you’re reading. Books should evoke feelings within you. If you’re not feeling it, you need a different book. Go.”

Immediately, there was chatter and clatter as my seventh graders dug into their backpacks. For some unknown reason, these kids hadn’t mastered the art of doing anything without opening their mouths.

A gentle knock at the door didn’t faze my students, but as soon as Evan walked in, the noise killed to silence.

My evil stare fell on them again. With a finger pointed in their direction, I said, “Read.” Instantly, they were all facing forward, books in hand, pretending to do as I said. Like I didn’t know they were giving our visitor the once over.

Taking him by the sleeve, I ushered him to the corner of the room where my desk was. “What in the world?”

“Wow. That was something else, Sunshine. I don’t want to be on the other end of that look.” He fluttered his brows at me and my knees went weak. He held out a bundle of flowers. White and yellow daisies. My legs wobbled even more. I had to place my hand on my desk to steady myself. “These are for you, Sunshine.”

I didn’t notice them in his hands when he came in. This was all new to me and it was making me very nervous. “Thank you, but what are you doing here?”

Evan gave me that sexy grin. I wished he would stop turning me into a pile of sappy mush, especially in front of my class. “I was out shopping and I saw these flowers and thought of you. You’ve seen me in my element many times. I thought it would be cool to see you in yours.” He tugged his ball cap off his head and ran his fingers through his messy brown locks. Damn, I had always thought he looked adorable with hat head.

Sudden gasps had us both looking in the direction of my students.

“Holy shit, that’s Evan James,” one of the boys in the back shouted.

Zeroing in on that section of the room, I gritted my teeth. “Watch your mouths.”

Abigail, a sweet shy thing raised her hand.

“Yes, Abbi?”

“Ms. Grey, is he really Evan James?”

I sucked in a gulp of air and exhaled a long slow breath. Then, I gestured to Evan. He had started it, now he had to finish it.

Evan put his cap back on, this time backwards so my students could see his face. He walked over to Abigail and held out his hand. “Hi, Abbi. I’m Evan James.” She put her shaky little hand in his. “Nice to meet you.” The exchange made my heart swoon.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. James.”

He dropped her hand and waved her off. “Call me Evan.”

Another student raised her hand and I nodded. “Ms. Grey, why is Evan James in our classroom?” My students had the old deer-in-the-headlights expressions on their faces, and that girl looked like she was about to vomit.

Again, I deferred to Evan.

“Ms. Grey and I went to high school together. We’ve known each other most of my life. I thought it would be fun to see what she does for a change. Plus, I wanted to give her some pretty flowers.”

More hands shot up.

Goodness. Looking at all the hands, I decided to call on one who I could count on not embarrassing me. “Jessica.”

She looked in Evan’s direction. “Are you hooking up with Ms. Grey?”

Obviously, my impression of Jessica had been wrong. This time, I answered the question. “No, Jessica. Mr. James and I are not...hooking up.”

“Are you dating?” Who was she? A reporter for People?

Evan laughed and now, he got my evil glare. “No.” He hushed the class with his hands, trying to bring down the barrage of questions that followed. “Ms. Grey and I are not dating. We’re very good friends. Since I don’t want to cause any more of a disruption, I’d better go.”

The students groaned, not wanting our famous visitor to leave. This was probably the most excitement they had all year.

Abbi raised her hand again and Evan called on her. “Mr. James...I mean, Evan. Thank you for stopping by. Maybe you can come again, when Ms. Grey says it’s okay. I’m sure our class would love to ask you some questions. Like a career day. Many of us enjoy your music, and some of us are musicians and singers, too.”

The young girl made me smile. She had spoken more in the last few minutes than she had all school year. Evan had that effect on people.

“I’d love to, Abbi. Thank you for the invite. Ms. Grey can invite me back any time.”

I took this as my cue to get him the heck out of there. “Okay, class, say goodbye to Mr. James.”

Again, I pulled Evan by the sleeve and pushed him out of my classroom. I followed him into the hall and shut the door behind me. “You can’t just tell them you’ll be back any time. They’re kids, Evan. They’ll expect it.”

“And why is that a problem?” He touched his hand to my upper arm and a wave of calm came over me.

“Because...you’re leaving. The wedding is only two weeks away.”

“Who says I’m going anywhere, Sunshine? I haven’t. If there is a day you’d like me to come back and play career day, let me know. I’ll be here.” He smiled, hitting me with that sexy grin and washing all my previous fears away. And maybe, putting some new ones in their place.
Damn him and that sexy smile.

He wasn’t leaving? He was sticking around this time? And he was willing to talk to my students again. He knew how much my students meant to me. Seeing him interact with them, even as brief as it was, reminded me of the time we spent as summer camp counselors for the Y. Those had been some of the best times of my life, solidifying my desire to be a teacher. There was no doubt, even then, that Evan had a way of reaching kids. He would play his guitar and make songs like “Little Bunny Foo Foo” sound cool to sing. The teenage boys would do anything if Evan did it first.