Wild Nevada Ride (19 page)

“Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?” Justin asked as his deep baritone sent goose bumps along her arms.

Her shoulders lifted in a shrug, and she dropped her eyes to the tips of her boots. “I didn’t think it necessary.”

He moved so fast, she almost missed it as he wrapped an arm around her waist and slammed her against his chest. “Not necessary? I thought maybe I might mean more to you than that, but I guess not. I should have listened when you said you didn’t need a man in your life.”

She slid her hands up between them and attempted to push against his chest, but he wasn’t letting go. “What difference does it make now? I’m leaving, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. It’s a little late for confessions of love.”

He inhaled sharply, and she closed her eyes.
Dumb! Stupid! What the hell did I say that for?

“Look at me, Kat.”

She bit her lip and shook her head.

“Katrina,” he whispered against her lips before he swooped in and took them in a desperate kiss. She returned the kiss with everything in her heart. If she couldn’t say she loved him, maybe she could communicate it through the fusing of their mouths.

Smitty’s voice penetrated the fog surrounding her mind. “Major?”

Justin let her go, and she stepped away from him, drinking in the sight before she turned on her heel and headed toward her weapons officer.

Several moments later, she walked across the tarmac, hoping Smitty couldn’t see the tears swimming in her eyes when they approached her plane. “Are we ready to roll?”

“Yep.”

She did a quick walk around the plane, refusing to look at the fence between her and the man she loved, although she knew he stood there. Grabbing the hook ladder on the side of the plane, she hoisted herself into the cockpit, snapped her harness over her shoulders, and slipped her flight helmet on. Firing up the engines, she slowly started to taxi toward the runway, but shot a look to her left for one last look.

* * * *

He watched her jet when she moved toward the runway with the other planes leaving. While each set took off, he stayed right where he was until he knew she had left. He couldn’t tell exactly which one belonged to her since they all looked the same, but when no more headed for the wild blue skies above him, his heart crumbled in his chest.

A hand came down on his shoulder when Mark stepped up next to him. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you love her.” He opened his mouth to protest, but Mark stopped him. “Don’t deny it. It’s written all over your face, man.”

“It doesn’t matter. She’s gone.”

“She left because you wouldn’t admit your feelings for her.”

“My feelings? What about hers?”

Mark shook his head. “Both of you. You are both so damned stubborn. Neither of you will admit you love each other and now it’s come to this.”

“She doesn’t love me, Mark. She said herself she didn’t want a permanent fixture in her life.”

“You are an ass, Justin Wilder. She might have said those words months ago when you first met, but now things are totally different. You wormed your way into her heart, but she won’t admit her feelings to you because she’s terrified you don’t love her in return. You both need to get over this crap, otherwise you will both be alone.”

Mark left his side and returned to the truck while Justin stayed for a moment more.
I guess I’ve made a big mess out of this.
He looked at the sky where she disappeared, before he headed for his vehicle and the long ride home.

* * * *

The glare of the sun reflected off the hangar, almost blinding them while they taxied in.
God, why did I ever agree to come back here? I hate this hellhole!

“You okay, Kat?”

“Yeah Smitty, I’m fine—just tired. It’s been a long couple of days.”

“I know. A soft bed would be almost as good as sex right now.”

She laughed. “Too bad there isn’t any of either around here.”

“Yeah. You aren’t kidding. I dread the feel of those damned cots.”

“I guess they are better than the ground, but not by much.”

Once they parked, she popped the cockpit hatch and slipped her helmet off with a heavy sigh as Smitty unhooked his harness. “I could use a beer. How about you?”

“Sounds good. Too bad there aren’t any of those here either.”

“Yeah, I know. This whole thing sucks ass.”

“Why did you agree to come back then, Kat?”

She shook her head.
I’m not going into this with him.
“I guess I’m just crazy.”

“You could say that.”

Grabbing their gear, they headed for their quarters to get settled and then report into their superior officer to find out their rotation. She knew they wouldn’t be given very much time to rest before they were flying again, so she needed to take advantage of the downtime while she could.
I hope I can sleep without Justin invading my thoughts.
She shook her head with a soft laugh.
Yeah right! Who am I trying to kid?

“I’ll see you after while. I’m going to try to catch a little sleep before we report in. They know we’re here, that’s the important thing.”

“Okay. How about if I go check in for both of us?”

“Would you? That would be awesome.”

“No problem. I’ll see you in a while,” Smitty said as he moved toward his own tent.

She moved the flap and ducked inside. Rows and rows of bunk beds lined the sides of the tent while she searched for an empty area. She hated cohabitating with the males, but being one of the few female pilots, she didn’t have a lot of choice. Spotting what appeared to be a bunk area without personal items nearby, she slung her rucksack onto the floor beside the bed and lay down. She forced her eyelids to close, hoping Justin’s face wouldn’t spring into her head.

It didn’t work. His brown eyes flashed across her mind and she groaned out loud before she rolled onto her stomach and buried her head beneath the pillow.

Over an hour later, she peeled her eyes open and squinted when the sun found a hole in the tent and centered on her face.
Damn! Did I really fall asleep?
She peered at her watch for a moment, noting the time as she struggled to sit up. Her stomach pitched and rolled while she fought the urge to throw up. Bending her head, she took several deep breaths and the feeling subsided as a frown settled between her eyebrows.

“Hey, Jamieson.” She looked up to see an old friend from flight school as he moved toward her and hugged her quickly before releasing her. “God, look at you! All gold clover-leaf and shit!”

She stood up and a smile spread across her mouth. “Hey Carter! I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Not since we left flight school. How are you?”

“Good. How about you?”

“Not bad.” His blue eyes toured her frame before returning to hers. “You look fantastic, Kat. I almost didn’t recognize you. I heard you have been burnin’ up the skies.”

Her shoulder lifted in a half shrug. “Just doin’ my job.”

“Yeah, way better than anyone else from what I hear.”

“Well, you know me—overachiever and all.”

He chuckled. “How is your dad? I heard he had a stroke.”

“Yeah, but he’s doing much better.”

“Great. I’m sure that takes a load off your mind.”

“You bet.” She looked around the tent for a moment. “Where’s the mess? I think I need to get some grub.”

“Behind the hangar. Come on. I’ll walk over with you. I’m kind of hungry myself.”

They continued to talk while they headed toward the mess tent, about old times, her dad, and the force in general. When they had almost reached it, the scent of fried meat hit her nose and her stomach pitched again.
What the fuck?

“You okay, Kat? You look kinda green.”

“No. I think I must have picked up a bug before I left home. The smell of food is just making me nauseous. I’d better skip eating right now until my belly settles down.”

“I’ll catch you later then.”

“Sure, Jeff,” she said before she waved and headed back toward her bunk.
I guess I just need to lay down for a bit more. I hope I didn’t catch the flu or something before I left. It would suck being sick over here.

Within minutes, she fell fast asleep.

* * * *

The glare from the computer screen mocked him as the blank email sat in front of him. She had been gone for over a month now and he felt like hell. He slept like crap these days and seemed to be biting the heads off of everyone around him. He knew damned well why, too. He loved Katrina Jamieson, and he didn’t tell her before she took off for parts unknown. When he had actually fallen in love with her, he didn’t know, but now she meant more to him than almost anyone in the world.

Mark gave him her email address, but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to talk to her in person. Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible, and he knew it.

Justin took a deep breath and picked up his cell phone. Hitting the speed dial for the Rocking W, he waited.

“Hello?”

“Abby?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“It’s Justin. Is Chase around?”

“Hi, Justin. No, Chase isn’t here. He drove over to Bud’s this morning to pick up a couple of horses.”

“Oh.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He paused and ran his fingers through his hair before he said, “No, I’m not—not really.”

“You wanna talk?”

Could he? He had originally called to talk to Chase. He figured his brother would be the perfect person to understand all the feelings he had running rampant through him, but maybe it would be easier to talk to Abby.

“It’s okay. You haven’t talked to her in awhile and I know this whole thing is driving you nuts.”

“What…how did you…”

“Come on. I know Chase told you about me. We didn’t have a lot of time to talk last time you were home, but I can feel your turmoil.”

“Just what exactly do you know, Abby?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Probably not. It will just freak me out.”

She chuckled softly. “Yeah. So talk.”

For over an hour, he talked. He told her everything about his relationship with Katrina, how they had found passion in each other’s arms and finished with her leaving for another tour of Iraq.

“I know you are hurting, but be patient. She loves you too, but she’s scared.”

“Mark said the same thing.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah. He’s her cousin. He is the one who officially introduced us. And just so you know, Abby, patience isn’t a virtue of mine.”

He could have sworn he heard her snort over the phone, and he smiled for the first time in a while. He and Abby didn’t have much of a chance to get to know each other, but he knew she had his best interest at heart, and he loved her for it.