Wild Nevada Ride (14 page)

“I wanted to talk to you without your mother or Justin here. Just the two of us.”

The seriousness of his voice made her pause. He didn’t usually talk like this with her unless it had something to do with her career. “What is it?”

“You can’t marry Justin.”

What the hell?
“I don’t understand.”

“You have to think of your career, Katrina. You are one of the best pilots I’ve ever seen when your head is on straight. Ever since you met him, you can’t seem to concentrate. You need to forget him and get yourself back on track.”

“But Dad…”

“But nothing. Your life is the Air Force, just as mine has been.”

“You had mother.”

“There are things you don’t understand about my relationship with your mother, things I can’t go into right now.”

“I…”

“Do you love him?”

She paused and looked deep into her father’s gaze. It wouldn’t do any good to lie to him. He would see right through her, he always could. “Yeah, Dad, I do.”

He shook his head and sighed. “I’m going to tell you something no one else knows because you need to understand. You can’t give up your career for love. Flying is in your blood, in your genes. If you give it up for the love of a man, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Dad, please…” She rubbed her temples as a headache formed behind her eyes.

“Your mother—I mean Annabel Jamieson…” The flow of words stopped for a moment and fear gripped her heart. “Annabel isn’t your mother.”

“What?”

“She’s not your mother, Katrina.”

Chapter Twelve

“Wait a minute. You’re telling me my mother isn’t my mother? How does that work?”

He closed his eyes. She wasn’t sure he would explain until the words started to flow. “I met Patricia right after I finished my training. She’s a pilot too.”

“You mean General Patricia Langston?”

“Yes. We had a wild relationship right out of pilot training. I couldn’t help my attraction to her. Her brown hair and bright green eyes—they made my heart stop in my chest.” His gaze swept over Katrina, and she knew without him saying anything.

“She’s my mother.”

“Yes. She got pregnant a few months into our relationship. I wanted to marry her and live the rest of my life with her, but she didn’t want to. She refused, saying her life consisted of flying and she wouldn’t give it up, not for me and not for a child.”

Katrina stood and began to pace as the information penetrated her mind. “How did you end up raising me then?”

“As I said, she wouldn’t give up her career for anything. Once you were born, she gave me complete custody of you. I met Annabel when you were still very small. Patricia signed over her rights as your mother and Annabel adopted you.”

“Why in hell haven’t you told me before now?”

“I didn’t think it necessary. You had your head on straight, and you were headed in the same direction your mother and I both took—the Air Force and being the best pilot out there. Now…”

“Because I’ve fallen in love with Justin, you had to tell me?”

“Katrina, you have to understand. A relationship with someone outside of the force is extremely difficult. Spouses just don’t understand the need we have to be amongst the clouds. They can’t compete with that need.”

“How is it you’ve managed a relationship with Annabel then?”

“I don’t tie her down. She does as she pleases, and so do I.”

“What are you saying? Are you telling me she has lovers and so do you?” He didn’t have to give her an answer. She could see it in his face. He cared for Annabel, but not like he loved Patricia. “Oh, my God! I don’t believe this. It all makes sense now. The animosity Annabel shows toward me. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Kat.”

“Yes, she does. She always has. I always wondered why she seemed to prefer Matt to me. I just thought it all stemmed from me not being the frilly little girl she wanted. She hated me because I’m not her daughter.”

“Annabel cares about you.” Katrina snorted disbelievingly. “I’m sorry you had such a rough childhood. I know she’s not the best mother figure for you.”

“She never acted like a mother. I’m not sure what is worse—having her as my mother or not having a mother at all. Obviously, Patricia made her choice, and she’s lived with it ever since.”

“Patricia has kept track of you, even if you didn’t know it. She’s proud of you, Katrina.”

“Proud? How can she be proud of someone she doesn’t even know—didn’t care enough to even want to get to know?”

“She will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life. Would you be surprised to know how much you are like her? Obviously, in looks, you take after her. You have her hair color and her eyes, but also your personality, the strong warrior type of woman. You don’t take things lying down and you’ve made one hell of a career for yourself.”

“Great! I resemble a woman I don’t know.” She chewed her fingernail nervously. “I guess I’m more like her than I realized even if the few times I’ve met her, it didn’t click in my head that she’s my mother.”

“What do you mean?”

Just tell him. Tell him you’ve broken things off with Justin.
“It doesn’t matter, Dad. Justin and I are done.”

“Care to explain?”

You had a big fight—tell him.
“Justin and I had a huge fight last night after we left here.”
That much is true.
“He couldn’t understand my need to fly.”
Yeah—he’ll buy that.
“He wanted me to give up the Air Force and stay home raising babies.”

Her father’s eyes traced her face while she stared back. If she held his gaze, he would believe her and hopefully he wouldn’t see her heart shattering in her chest.

“Well, maybe now you can get your head back into your career.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

* * * *

She had been back to work for over a week now—a week without Justin. The nights were filled with longing while the days shone bright with his smile and her heart ached for his touch.

Patricia Langston. General Patricia Langston.

Katrina walked into the hangar and headed straight for a corner office where she knew the one person she had to talk to sat. She softly knocked on the door and wasn’t surprised to hear a commanding, “Come in.”

The green eyes that met hers when she pushed the door open slid down her frame for a moment before they returned to the paperwork in front of her. “What can I do for you, Major?”

Katrina saluted before she twisted the flight cap in her hands and stepped toward the imposing woman. She cleared her throat, but her voice came out in a squeak.
Damn it! I’m not going to cower in front of her. She’s my mother!

“Can I speak frankly, General?”

“Of course.” Patricia didn’t raise her gaze, but continued to jot notes on the paper in front of her. When Katrina didn’t move, Patricia looked up for a moment before her gaze returned to her notes and said, “Major, sit down before you fall down.”

Thankfully, Kat took the chair across the desk. “I need to speak with you, ma’am.”

“I got that impression, Major, from the first bit of your conversation. Would you care to clarify what it is concerning?”

“My father.”

Patricia’s head snapped up and her eyes narrowed a moment before she sighed heavily and leaned back in the chair. “I see.”

“You know he had a stroke last week.”

“Yes, Major, I’m aware of the fact.”

Anger raced through Katrina at the indifference in the other woman’s voice.
Didn’t she care at all?
“Does he mean so little to you?” She jumped to her feet and moved toward the window to stare out. The deserted expanse of the airfield met her eyes.

“I care more than you’ll ever know.”

Katrina whipped around to stare at the green eyes behind the desk, the eyes so much like her own.

“Since you are here, Major, I’m assuming Alan told you about our past relationship.”

“Are you asking if he told me you are my mother? Yes, he did.”

Patricia seemed to age before her eyes. Her shoulders slumped, and she rubbed the back of her neck before twisting it back and forth like she wanted to loosen the muscles beneath. “You will never know how sorry I am that I made the decisions I did, Katrina.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? The few times we’ve met in the past—never once did you let on you were my mother. How could you walk away from me? Did you care so little about your own child? Was the Air Force all you cared about?”

“At the time, yes. My career was on the fast track. I wasn’t about to lose my chance because I loved a man and carried his child.”

“You loved him? How can you say you loved him? You walked away from him,” Katrina demanded.

“Because it’s the truth. I never stopped loving your father. I have always regretted my decisions to leave both of you behind.”

Katrina snorted.

“I followed your career when your father told me you came into the force. From everything I’ve heard you are one of the best pilots out there. I’m very proud of you.”

“How could I not be when both my parents are fighter pilots? As Dad said, it’s in the blood.”

“Why are you here, Katrina? Do you want me to say that I regret the choices I made?”

“I don’t know exactly why I’m here. I guess I wanted to know if you would acknowledge me if you were face to face with me instead of hiding the fact that I’m your daughter.”

“I wouldn’t deny the fact.”

“But you weren’t about to announce it to the world either.” Katrina quickly walked to the door. “It doesn’t matter. I never had a mother—not you nor Annabel Jamieson. It’s no wonder I don’t know how to love, and I wouldn’t know what love looked like if I hit me square in the face. Thanks for nothing, Mom.”

* * * *

She sat on the balcony of her townhouse, a full glass of red wine in hand while she watched the sun dip below the ridge of the hills off in the distance. When she had poured it, she had every intention of getting roaring drunk, but as yet, she hadn’t even taken a sip. She swirled the deep red liquid in the glass and her thoughts drifted to Justin. They hadn’t seen each other in several weeks now and she felt each hour tick by like every second sliced a bigger hole in her chest.

The request slip in her pocket mocked her. Pulling it out, she opened it and read the top of the paper.
Request For Transfer.
She looked at it for several minutes before she slipped it back into her pocket and stood up. With a heavy sigh, she headed into the house to change clothes.
I need to talk to Justin. I need to know how he feels before I make a decision that could cost me everything.

The soft pastels of her bedroom warmed her soul usually, but tonight nothing could thaw the block of ice around her heart—nothing except the man who had turned her life upside down since she had met him. She slipped on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before donning her tennis shoes and grabbing her car keys.

Locking the door behind her, she almost felt giddy when she thought about seeing him again. Would he welcome her with open arms or shut the door in her face? She didn’t know, but she wanted to find out.