Whispers (29 page)

‘They’re damn well old enough to look after themselves for an hour or two instead of having you run around after them like a blue-arsed fly all the time,’ Karen replied but she didn’t push it. She could see Jess was preoccupied. ‘Oh go on – be off with you, you’re like a cat on hot bricks. I’ll be round at the same time next week, but if you need me before then you know where I am. And Jess . . . try not to worry too much about everything. It will all come out in the wash, you’ll see, and don’t go letting your imagination run away with you either.’

Jess managed a smile and after pecking Karen on the cheek she shot off to the car park to collect her car. At home, she quickly changed into her jeans and wellies again and set off for the gypsy van clutching the small gift she had bought for the baby.

She was surprised to see that the small encampment was a hive of activity and guessed that they were preparing to leave. The menfolk
were
busily hooking up the caravans to the huge lorries they drove and the women were shepherding the children into the backs of them.

As she drew closer she saw Amber emerge from one of the vans. She had the baby tied in a shawl at her breast.

‘We’ll not be botherin’ yer any longer, missus,’ she said, ‘but thanks fer lettin’ us stay. You’ve been right civil.’

‘You’re very welcome and I’m very pleased everything went well at the birth,’ Jess replied as she admired the baby. She could just see his face peeping out of the shawl and he really was a beautiful little child with a mop of thick dark hair and bright blue eyes.

‘I er . . . I got this for him,’ she said, feeling suddenly embarrassed as she passed the small gift to the woman. When the woman withdrew the dungarees and the little matching top her face creased into a smile. ‘Why, they’re lovely. Thanks, missus. It’s right kindly of yer.’

‘Come on then, Amber,’ a male voice suddenly boomed. ‘Let’s be havin’ yer then while we have the light.’

The woman glanced towards her husband before looking back at Jess and now her face was solemn as she gripped her hand. ‘Take care o’ yourself, missus. I see bad things ahead for yer.’ Glancing towards the house, she shuddered. ‘That place has seen a lot o’ heartache, an’ there’s more to come.’ She quickly made the sign of the cross on her chest, as she had done the first time, and then scurried away to clamber into the front of the van with her husband. And then one by one the caravans formed an orderly line and drove away as Jess looked silently on.

Simon nodded curtly in Jess’s direction when he came in from work that evening and she hurried away to fetch his meal from the oven. The girls were both in the small lounge and Jess was thankful for that, in case another row blew up, which judging by the look on Simon’s face was more than likely.

She wanted to scream at him and ask him where he had been all night but instead she said quietly, ‘The gypsies have moved on.’

‘And so they bloody well should,’ he growled. ‘They had no right to come onto our land in the first place. Oops,
sorry
. . . I should have said
your
land, shouldn’t I?’

‘Just because I bought the place with Gran’s money doesn’t mean it isn’t half yours,’ Jess said quietly. ‘We’re married, for Christ’s sake, so what’s mine is yours and hopefully vice versa.’

Simon’s lips curled back from his teeth and for the first time since she had known him, Jess felt like slapping him. He was behaving very childishly and she was almost at the end of her tether.

‘Anyway . . .’ Jess struggled to remain calm. ‘How about we try and talk sensibly about more important issues? Like the baby, for instance. Have you had time to think about how you feel about it?’

She placed his meal in front of him and he grunted his thanks as he lifted his knife and fork and dug into the lamb chops on his plate. ‘I haven’t thought about much else,’ he mumbled through a mouthful.

‘And?’ She looked at him, hoping that now he’d had time to come to terms with it, he might be feeling a little differently.

‘And what? I haven’t changed my mind about it. I reckon the last thing we need right now is another baby hanging around our necks.’

Jess took a deep breath. ‘Then I’m sorry to hear that because I’ve decided that I want to keep it.’

His face darkened into a scowl. ‘There’s really no point in me saying any more on the subject then, is there?’

‘Not really.’ Jess stuck her chin in the air in a rare act of defiance.
‘But
you might like to tell me where you were all night. I was worried sick.’

‘I dossed down on Mick’s settee after we’d had a game of darts at the pub, if you must know,’ he said sullenly, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on his plate.

Jess didn’t believe him for an instant but she knew better than to question him. Simon could be as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to be. Slumping down on the chair opposite him, she suggested softly, ‘Couldn’t we start again? We seem to be going off track again lately.’

‘Meaning?’

‘Well . . .’ she spread her hands helplessly. ‘You’re going out more and more again and—’

‘Oh, we’re back to
that
, are we? Can’t a man even go and enjoy a quiet drink when he’s been working all day?’

‘Of course, but . . . well, it would be nice if you didn’t go out every night.’

Slamming his knife and fork down, Simon stood up and towered over her threateningly. ‘It always comes back to the same old thing, doesn’t it? And just in case you’ve forgotten, I give Beth a lift to the youth club tonight. Do you want me to go and tell her I’m not allowed to take her?’

‘Of course not,’ Jess said hastily. ‘I have no objections at all to you going out a couple of nights a week; I’m just saying I’d be happier if it wasn’t
every
night.’

For a horrible moment she thought he was going to hit her as his face distorted with temper but then he slammed away upstairs without another word as she sat glumly looking at his half-eaten meal.

I made a good job of that again, she thought wryly, and lifting the remaining lamb chop she tossed it to Alfie before scraping the rest into the bin.

Simon left half an hour later without so much as another word to her, and Jess sat there, tears trickling down her cheeks. Everything was such a mess and this time she wasn’t at all sure that she could put things right between them.

She was loading the dishwasher and feeling very sorry for herself when Laura appeared looking just as stressed and worried as she felt.

‘Come and join the sad club,’ Jess invited. ‘You look as miserable as I feel. What’s wrong?’

‘It’s Beth,’ Laura said miserably. ‘We’ve just had an awful row. She’s been really off-colour for days now, so when Simon called to give her
a
lift to the youth club I told him I’d rather she didn’t go tonight. Well, to say she kicked off big time would be putting it mildly! She was screaming and crying at me as if I was the Wicked Witch from the West. I can’t understand it at all. Beth is usually as meek as a lamb, but lately she’s changed. I’m sure it’s something to do with that boy she’s been going off with from the youth club.’

‘
Beth?
Kicking off? I know you said she was playing up while I was away but I thought she would have settled back down by now,’ Jess commented.

Laura shook her head as she took a pack of cigarettes from her bag and offered one to Jess before lighting one herself.

‘So what happened next? Have you let her go?’

‘No, I haven’t.’ Laura blew a plume of smoke into the air. ‘Luckily her dad arrived home while all this was going on and he sent her up to her room. But she isn’t happy about it at all.’

Because Beth was special needs, Jess had always assumed that she would be willing to do as she was told, but it seemed that even Beth could have her moments.

‘What a pair we are, eh?’ she grinned sadly.

‘Too true,’ Laura agreed. ‘Anyway, I’m going to take her to the doctor’s tomorrow. She might be behaving like this because she isn’t feeling well. It’s so unlike her to lose her temper like that. I don’t know if it was because she didn’t get to have a ride in the car with Simon or because she didn’t get to see this boy.’

‘It’s probably a combination of both,’ Jess said wisely. ‘She worships Simon and I have to admit he’s got the patience of Job with her. I just wish he’d show the same consideration to Mel.’

‘Mm.’ Laura stubbed her unfinished cigarette out in the ashtray before asking, ‘And how did Simon take the news about the baby? Have you told him yet?’

‘Oh, I told him all right,’ Jess nodded. ‘Last night, as a matter of fact, and we ended up having a flaming row. He walked out and didn’t come back all night. He reckons he stayed at his mate’s house but between you and me, Simon tends to have a roving eye and I just wonder if he doesn’t have some girlfriend on the side. It wouldn’t be the first time, believe me.’

Laura looked shocked. She had never heard Jess talk about her husband like this before.

‘When we moved here, things were pretty bad between us,’ Jess confided, ‘and I hoped this would be a new start for us. But it certainly
doesn’t
seem to be working out that way. And now, what with finding out about the baby, everything seems a hundred times worse. To say that Simon isn’t happy about the idea would be putting it mildly.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Laura was genuinely upset for her. She’d grown fond of Jess and didn’t like to think of her being miserable. ‘So what are you going to do about it?’

‘I’m going to keep this baby,’ Jess told her with determination. ‘I did briefly think of having an abortion but I don’t think I could go through with it, so that’s that.’

‘I don’t blame you. Have you told the girls yet?’

‘No.’ Jess sighed wearily. ‘I thought I’d hang on until I’ve been to the doctor’s and had it definitely confirmed.’

The sound of a mobile phone going off suddenly echoed around the kitchen and after hastily fishing in her bag Jess saw that it was the one she had confiscated from Mel. She answered it, thinking that it would be one of Mel’s friends.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Mel. How are you? Did you arrive home safely and have a good journey?’

As the sound of Emile Lefavre’s voice reached her, Jess felt ice-cold rage pump through her veins.

‘It isn’t Mel, it’s her mother,’ she said tonelessly.

‘Ah, Jess. Jo gave me her and Mel’s numbers, but I didn’t realise that I had not asked for yours until I had boarded my plane – and as I had not heard from you, I thought I would see if you were interested in going ahead with some home tuition for Mel. I was just about to ask her for your number.’

‘I just
bet
you were,’ Jess murmured.

‘Jess . . . is everything all right? Have I upset you in some way?’ Emile enquired.

‘How
dare
you even have the nerve to ask?’ Jess spat, her voice rising dangerously. ‘I wouldn’t let you near my daughter again if my very life depended upon it. And furthermore, if you
ever
try to get in touch with Mel again, I shall call the police and tell them what you tried to make her do.’

‘I . . . I don’t understand,’ Emile said in that throaty voice that she had once found so attractive.

‘Oh, but I think you do.’ Jess was so furious now that she could barely speak. She ended the call, shaking, then flung the phone onto the table as Laura looked on, wide-eyed and uncomprehending.

‘Can you
believe
the nerve of that bastard?’ Jess stormed as she watched the phone as if it was going to bite her.

‘Well, I doubt he’ll dare ring again,’ Laura soothed, wondering what all the fuss was about but not wanting to ask. ‘But now you must calm down, love. Think of the baby.’ Jess then promptly burst into a torrent of tears as Laura wrapped her arms around her and let her cry it all out.

Two weeks later, Jess sat the girls down at the kitchen table and looked at them nervously. She had been to the doctor’s the week before and now knew that the baby was due early in May. She had been trying to find the right time to tell them ever since her appointment, and as Simon wasn’t home from work yet, now seemed as good a time as any.

‘So what is it that you want to tell us then, Mum?’ Jo asked brightly as she tickled Alfie under the chin. ‘Is it something to do with Christmas?’ It was now mid-November and they were racing towards Christmas at an alarming rate. Jess hadn’t even started the Christmas shopping yet whereas in previous years she had had all the presents bought and wrapped by now.

‘No, love, it isn’t.’ Jess wished that Simon was there to tell them with her, but there was fat chance of that happening. He had only spoken to her when he had to over the last couple of weeks, and the atmosphere between them was strained, to say the very least. ‘The thing is,’ she went on, peering uncomfortably from one to the other of them, ‘I’ve just found out that I’m going to have a baby . . . You’re going to have a new brother or sister.’

There was a stunned silence for a moment before Jo whooped with delight and ran around the table to hug her.

‘Why, that’s
so
cool. When is it due?’

Ignoring the look of horror on Mel’s face, Jess forced herself to smile. ‘About the beginning of May next year,’ she managed to choke out.

‘Well, I think it’s absolutely gross!’ Mel shot at her mother, wrapping her arms across her chest even more tightly. ‘Everyone at school is going to laugh at me when they find out. You’re far too old to have another baby!’

‘I know it must have come as a bit of a shock. To be honest, it was to me and your dad too,’ Jess replied, keeping her voice calm. ‘But when you get used to the idea you might actually find that it won’t
be
so bad, after all. This house is huge and there’s more than enough room. And yes, I know that I must seem old to you, but early thirties isn’t that old really.’

Mel bounced up out of her chair. As usual, she was dressed in her most shapeless clothes and her lovely hair was pulled back into a tight unbecoming ponytail on the back of her head.

‘Well, don’t expect
me
to be pleased about it,’ she said loudly, and before Jess could say another word she stormed out and stamped away up the stairs.