Whispers (30 page)

Jo smiled at her mum sadly. ‘Don’t mind Mel,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing makes her smile any more. She’s a right old misery guts.’

Jess smiled despite the ache inside her. She had never expected Simon to be happy about the baby, but she had hoped the girls might. It seemed that no one, even herself, really wanted this baby except Jo, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat again now.

‘We shall have to start thinking of names,’ she said, as she stared off into space with a dreamy expression on her face. ‘How about Angelique if it’s a little girl? That’s a really romantic name, isn’t it?’

‘Er . . . don’t you think it might be a bit too fussy?’ Jess replied, not wanting to dampen the girl’s enthusiasm.

‘All right, how about Henrietta then or Magdalane?’

Jess gulped, very pleased that the choice of names for the infant would not be left solely up to Jo.

‘We’ll see nearer the time,’ she said tactfully. ‘Meanwhile you can help me start to choose the colours for the new nursery. I shall get the decorators in once we have Christmas out of the way. What do you fancy?’

Jo tapped her lip. ‘How about we do it in lemon and white? Then it won’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl,’ she suggested.

‘Good choice,’ Jess agreed. ‘Now off to your room, miss, and get your homework done, there’s a good girl.’

Jo skipped away, her head full of the news, as the smile slid from Jess’s face. She couldn’t pretend that she’d had a good reaction from Mel, but then in fairness she hadn’t really expected one. And at least she had told them now, which was a weight off her mind.

She was all ready to go off and enjoy an evening with Karen when Simon came in from work. She pointed towards the oven as she picked up her car keys. He was late in again, and if she didn’t get off soon there would be hardly any point in going.

‘Your dinner’s in the oven,’ she told him. ‘And I’m off to Karen’s. See you later.’

He grunted an acknowledgement and sighing, Jess went on her way, more than ever aware of the gaping chasm that seemed to be developing between them.

As Jess sat in Karen’s small lounge later that evening she couldn’t help but notice the difference between this room and her own sumptuous drawing room back at Stonebridge House. Karen’s was tiny, with slightly worn leather settees on either side of the room and a carpet that looked as if it could do with a good shampooing. And yet Karen’s room had a cosy, lived-in feel about it, whereas Jess had to admit that hers felt formal and uninviting.

‘Penny for your thoughts,’ Karen said suddenly. Her kids had been rampaging about the place until ten minutes ago when they had gone off to bed, and now Karen was curled up on one of the settees with her legs tucked up underneath her, a large glass of wine in her hand and a contented smile on her face.

‘I was just thinking how peaceful it is,’ Jess muttered.

Karen snorted with laughter. ‘
Peaceful
? You must be joking. The only time we get any peace is when the nippers go to bed. Mind you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. They’ll be grown up and flown the nest before we know it, so we may as well enjoy the mayhem while we can. How are things at your end? Have you told the girls about the baby yet?’

‘As a matter of fact I told them just before I came here,’ Jess told her.

‘And?’

‘It was just as I expected really. Jo was made up with the idea and Mel said it was gross and stormed off to her room.’

Karen chuckled. ‘No surprises there then, but that’s teenagers for you. Anyone over twenty is old to them and it’s sort of strange to think of your mum and dad . . . you know. But I’ve no doubt she’ll come round once she’s got used to the idea. You might even find you have a built-in babysitter.’

‘I don’t think there’s much chance of that’, Jess said sadly. ‘She hasn’t even got time for Jo any more, let alone a wailing baby.’

‘And how about Simon? Is he getting over the shock of discovering he’s going to be a dad again yet?’

‘He’s walking about like a bear with a sore head and we’re barely speaking.’

‘Aw well, things can only get better,’ Karen said optimistically as she poured another glass of orange juice for Mel and then they went on to talk of other things, and as the night wore on Jess felt herself slowly beginning to unwind.

She was in a happier frame of mind as she drove home, even humming to herself by the time she parked the car in the courtyard. Simon was upstairs when she entered the house, so after quickly locking the doors and settling Alfie in his basket she headed for their bedroom. He wasn’t there but she could hear him in the shower so she went along the landing to check on the girls before getting ready for bed. Jo was sound asleep and Jess smiled as she looked down at her. She looked like an angel with her hair fanned out across the pillow and her long eyelashes curled on her cheeks. Jess bent down and kissed her before switching off her lamp and moving on to Mel’s room. She heard her crying even before she got to the door, and all the happy feelings she had had disappeared like mist in the morning.

Not bothering to knock she opened the door then stopped dead in her tracks. Mel was sitting in the middle of the bed hugging her pillow as she rocked back and forth. Her hair was wild and dishevelled and Jess was shocked to see how thin her arms were as they poked out from the sleeves of her nightshirt. She was sitting cross-legged and Jess noticed a large bruise just above her knee on one leg and another, even larger one, on one of her arms.

‘Why, love, whatever’s the matter?’ she gasped. ‘And how on earth did you get those bruises?’ Hurrying over to her daughter she tried to put her arms around her, but Mel angrily pushed her away.

‘Get out!’ she shouted, waving her hand towards the door. ‘And just leave me alone, can’t you?’

‘I’m going nowhere, madam, until you tell me where those came from,’ Jess said firmly, pointing at the marks.

Mel’s lips quivered and for a moment Jess thought that she was going to talk to her, but then the shuttered look came over her face again.

‘I . . . I got them playing hockey at school,’ she muttered, lowering her eyes from her mother’s searching look.

‘But they look quite nasty. Do you want me to put something on them for you?’

Mel shook her head as Jess looked helplessly on. ‘Why were you
crying?’
she probed gently, her own heart full of pain for her beloved daughter.

‘I was watching a sad film on the telly and it upset me.’

‘Really?’ Jess clearly didn’t believe her, and Mel began to get agitated again.

‘Does it really matter, Mum? Can’t you just go now and let me get some sleep? I’m so tired.’ Diving under the duvet she pulled it up over her head, and knowing that she was going to say no more, Jess stepped out onto the landing and softly closed the door.

Further along the landing, she paused to look out of the window. A full moon was riding in a black velvet sky, and the thick frost on the lawn looked as if it had been sprinkled with diamond dust. Out there, everything looked so peaceful – and yet inside the house, everything was in turmoil.

I’ll get Mel to the doctor’s tomorrow
, Jess promised herself.
This depression has gone on for long enough now
. And it was then that she sensed someone standing, whispering behind her. She turned just in time to see a shadowy figure in a long skirt fade into the shadows, and suddenly the silence was deafening. Her heart leaped as she made her way to the bedroom, knowing that Martha was close by.

Simon was in bed with his back to her; it was becoming the norm now, but after quickly undressing Jess climbed in beside him and placed her arm around his broad shoulders.

‘Everything all right, love?’ she whispered into the darkness. A grunt was her only answer. After a while, when sleep refused to come, she clicked on the bedside light and took Martha’s journal from the drawer. There was no chance of waking Simon. He slept like the dead so Jess decided to read a little until she was tired.

26 December

The house is bursting at the seams with all the guests but this afternoon when the meal had been served and all the washing-up had been done, I managed to sneak away and see Jimmy for a short time . . .

‘Aw lass, I was wonderin’ if you’d manage it,’ Jimmy said delightedly as he saw Martha racing towards him across the frosty grass. Her cheeks were flushed, and with her eyes shining he thought he had never seen her look so pretty.

‘I were wonderin’ if I would an’ all,’ she answered breathlessly. ‘It’s
absolute
chaos back there an’ I won’t be able to stay fer long. We’re all run off our feet.’ She swiped a lock of hair back from her face as he took her hand and drew her into the shelter of the copse.

‘I got you a little somethin’ fer Christmas,’ Jimmy said, fumbling in his coat pocket.

‘An’ I got you somethin’ an’ all,’ Martha laughed as she withdrew a small, hastily wrapped parcel from beneath her cloak.

Jimmy beamed when he unwrapped a smart penknife with a mother-of-pearl handle.

‘Aw, thanks, pet,’ he murmured, turning it over in his hand and flicking the blade open. ‘I can’t begin to tell yer how handy this will be. But come on . . . open yours now.’

Blushing, Martha did as she was told and then gasped with delight when she revealed a small silver brooch in the shape of a leaf.

‘Oh, Jimmy . . .’ She was so thrilled she scarcely knew what to say. ‘I ain’t never owned a single piece of jewellery in the whole o’ me life. It’s beautiful an’ I’ll treasure it always.’

‘Not half so much as I’ll treasure you,’ Jimmy stated as he drew her into his arms. ‘We’re goin’ to be so happy together, I just know it.’

Martha sighed with contentment as she rested her head against his chest and thought of the life they would share together.

‘Do yer reckon we’ll have any little ’uns when we’re wed?’ she asked, and Jimmy threw his head back and laughed aloud, startling a rabbit that was hopping by.

‘At least half a dozen, if I have my way,’ he promised. ‘An’ I want all the little girls to look just like their mam.’

‘Just so long as the lads all look like their dad,’ Martha chuckled, and then everything else was forgotten as their lips joined and they made the most of the few precious, stolen moments.

Martha left him shortly afterwards and skipped back towards the house. Wasn’t this just turning out to be the best Christmas ever?

Jess slid the journal back into her drawer and clicked the bedside lamp off in a slightly happier frame of mind, and soon her gentle snores joined Simon’s.

Whilst Mel was pushing her breakfast around the plate the next day, Jess suggested that she might take the morning off to go to the doctor’s, but Mel got so agitated that eventually Jess gave in and reluctantly let her go off to school.

‘But you’re so thin!’ she had pointed out, only to be told that it was fashionable to be thin. It seemed there was no point in arguing with a teenager, although Jess promised herself that if Mel lost any more weight she would take her, even if she had to drag her there kicking and screaming. It was as she was putting a load of washing into the machine later that morning that she suddenly realised she hadn’t seen anything of Laura for a while. It was unusual for her neighbour not to have popped in for a quick coffee, and as Jess recalled the last time she had spoken to her, she became concerned. She had been so wrapped up in her own worries that she hadn’t given it a thought, but now she remembered that Laura had said Beth was unwell and she was going to take her to the doctor’s. Jess hoped that they hadn’t found anything seriously wrong with the girl, and after starting the machine she slipped her coat on and set off down the drive to find out. It was a bitterly cold day and a slight fog had fallen over the countryside.

When Laura opened the door to Blue Brick Cottage, Jess was shocked to see how ill she looked. There were dark circles beneath her eyes and she looked as though she had been crying. Beth was huddled in a chair at the side of the inglenook fireplace and didn’t even glance up as Jess walked in.

‘I just realised I hadn’t seen you for a while so I thought I’d pop down and check everything is OK,’ Jess told her. ‘Are you all right, Laura? You look awfully pale.’

Laura walked over to the deep stone sink and crossed her arms. ‘I’m OK, but Beth isn’t,’ she said bluntly.

‘Why – what’s wrong with her?’ Jess looked towards the girl, feeling worried.

Laura leaned heavily on the edge of the wooden draining board. Her chin sank to her chest and Jess’s heart began to race as she realised that something must be seriously wrong.

‘Tell me what it is then,’ she implored. ‘Did you take her to the doctor’s?’

Laura nodded. ‘Oh, I took her all right and he told me . . .’ She gulped deep in her throat before forcing herself to go on. ‘He told me that she’s pregnant.’

‘She’s
what
?’ Jess sank onto the nearest chair as shock coursed through her. ‘Are you quite sure?’

Laura nodded miserably. ‘I’m sure all right. The doctor sent a test off to the hospital to double-check and it came back positive. She’s nearly four months’ gone.’

‘So what are you going to do about it?’ Jess asked tentatively as Laura threw three tea bags into three mugs.

‘Our first instincts were to take her for an abortion,’ Laura admitted. ‘And if it was left to Den we’d still be doing that. But the doctor was worried about the impact that might have on her, with her being so far gone. He seems to think that she’s able to cope with the birth and to be honest I can’t bear the thought of getting rid of it, much as you couldn’t when you found out about your baby.’

‘But Beth could never look after a child,’ Jess pointed out. ‘She can’t even look after herself. You’ve admitted that yourself.’

‘I know she couldn’t, but
I
could.’

‘But what if.’ Jess paused as she chose her words carefully. ‘What if the baby has special needs too? It would be a tremendous amount of extra work for you.’

Laura nodded. ‘I realise that, but it will still be our grandchild, and I always wanted another baby. Perhaps this has happened for a reason.’