Where the Lovelight Gleams (2 page)

“Let’s talk about your careers for a moment.” Chuck glanced at his notepad. “Cary, of course you’re part of a Hollywood dynasty. You were named after family friend Cary Grant, isn’t that right?”

He smiled. “That’s right. I only hope I can have a career half as incredible as his.”

“Your father and grandfather made their mark in action and adventure movies, while you’ve focused more on drama and now sci-fi. Do you feel any pressure to live up to their legacy?”

Cary’s smile didn’t falter, but Ryan noticed the way Cary’s jaw flexed briefly, his shoulders tightening. “Only in the best way. I’m so proud of Dad and Grandpa, and they’ve always been so supportive of me.”

As Cary went on about his family, telling the public what they wanted to hear, Ryan put on his best listening face. He remembered the first little cast get-together at the exec producer’s house one night in the Hollywood Hills. Ryan had gone outside to get some air and stumbled across Cary on the phone with his father.

“But, Dad, it’s a good show. Plenty of movie actors are doing TV now. It’s not the way it was before. It’s a great part! I want to do it. Besides, I can’t exactly turn down steady work.”

Cary paused, and Ryan could hear Robert Holloway’s raised voice through the phone but couldn’t make out what he was saying.

Cary went on, “I want to make my own way. I can have a good career in TV. Maybe do some theater in the summers. I think it’s worth a shot.” He paused again. “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but I guess you’re used to disappointment by now, aren’t you?”

Ryan tried to back away without being heard but of course promptly tripped on the leg of a deck chair, sending it clattering.

Cary whirled. “Dad, I’ve gotta go.” He hung up and eyed Ryan cautiously. “Hey. Look, if you could just forget you heard any of that…”

“Heard what?” Ryan raised his hands. “I didn’t hear a thing.”

The tension in Cary’s face relaxed. “Thanks, man. Ryan, right? I think we have a couple of scenes together in the pilot.”

“Yeah, we do. You want to run lines this weekend?”

Cary smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Absolutely.”

Now, almost two years after they met, Cary was just about Ryan’s favorite person in the world. Of course Cary was straight, and they’d never be anything more than friends. Which was totally fine with Ryan. Well, not
totally
fine. But he was working on it.

“And let’s talk about
your
background, Ryan. You’re from Toronto. How has it been adjusting to life in La-La Land?”

“I’ve lived here for a few years now. There are always great things about any city, and LA has so much to offer. It was a bit of a culture shock, but being close to the beach sure helps.”

“You came out while you were still in Toronto performing in a local production of
Rent
. You mentioned having lunch with your boyfriend in an interview, and when
Space Academy
premiered, many bloggers and gossip sites picked up on the old article. Do you regret coming out so early in your career? Do you think you’ll get pigeonholed?”

He’d expected the question, so Ryan resisted the urge to sigh long-sufferingly. He wished it didn’t come up in every interview. “No, I don’t regret it at all. I’ve been out since my senior year of high school. It’s just who I am, and I don’t think it’s impacted my career negatively. I played a straight character in a movie during summer hiatus.” He shrugged. “All I can do is give the best performances I can and hope to continue to have opportunities.”

Cary interjected, his tone firm. “I think Ryan is an inspiration to other gay actors. And straight actors, for that matter. Someone’s sexuality shouldn’t matter in this day and age. He’s an amazing artist and person.”

Warmth bloomed in Ryan’s chest. “I’m lucky that Cary and everyone here at
Space Academy
are completely supportive. I hope that we’ll get to the point one day when it won’t be a big deal anymore.”

“I hope so too,” Chuck replied. “So are you seeing anyone, Ryan?”

“No, there’s no one special right now.”
No one I can actually date, that is.

“Cary, you’ve been seeing
Succubus High
star Amanda Walker for over a year now. Any wedding bells in the future?”

Cary chuckled. “We’ll have to see. Amanda’s a great girl.”

Actually, Amanda’s a high-maintenance pain in the ass
. Ryan kept a pleasant expression on his face. It wasn’t that he was jealous or anything. Okay, maybe he was. But Cary deserved so much more than her. He reminded himself that it wasn’t as if Amanda Walker was the only thing standing between him and Cary. She was irrelevant. Cary was straight. The end.

“You guys are both twenty-five now. How does it feel to be playing high school students?”

Ryan chuckled. “Well, I don’t think we’re the oldest actors to play teenagers.”

“With his big brown doe eyes and baby face, I think he’ll be playing a high schooler for at least five more years.” Cary laughed, eyes crinkling.

“But we love our roles,” Ryan added. “High school—whether here on Earth or orbiting the fifth moon of the newly discovered planet Alida—is so rife with drama and potential for character growth.”

Chuck’s eyebrow popped up. “Ah yes. Such as discovering one’s sexuality?”

Cary and Ryan shared a glance and a smile. Cary answered. “That is a common theme, Chuck. I think our fans are really going to enjoy our characters’ arcs as this season continues in the new year.”

Tammy cleared her throat. “I’m afraid we have to end things there. Ryan and Cary are needed back on set.”

They said good-bye to Chuck, and Ryan checked his call sheet. The next scene was an “intimate moment” between Steven and Kishi. No kiss, but they’d both be shirtless and playing a particularly close game of
imperia
, a basketball-ish game. The scene was early in the episode, before their kiss, and Steven would be barely able to contain his attraction to Kishi.

Ryan took a fortifying breath as he headed back to set. He didn’t think of himself as a Method actor, but he was certainly living and breathing his character’s emotions these days.

* * * *

With a sigh, Ryan popped open a can of soda as he sat back on the couch in his trailer. He still had one more scene to shoot, and it was going to be a long day. As he picked up the TV remote, there was a knock on the door.

His heart stupidly skipped a beat when he found Cary waiting outside. “Hey, man! I’m wrapped. Just wanted to say merry Christmas and all that.”

Ryan ushered him in and handed him a bottle of water from the fridge since Cary didn’t drink soda. That was just one of the reasons he’d been featured on the cover of
Men’s Health
and Ryan never would be. Ryan worked out and kept trim and healthy, but he wasn’t a heartthrob like Cary.

“Big plans for the holidays?” Ryan asked. “Will you be with your mom or dad?”

“Neither. Dad’s in Thailand shooting another sequel to
Blowing Shit Up
.”

Ryan laughed. “Is this
Strike Back
part four?”

“Yep. The world’s appetite for explosions and cheap one-liners continues unabated.” He flopped down on the couch. “Besides, my stepmother’s with him, and I can’t deal with her. She seriously tried to give me parental advice at Thanksgiving.”

Ryan sat beside Cary and swung his feet up onto the low coffee table. Most movie stars would sniff at his small oak-paneled trailer, but with a sofa bed, shower, toilet, and kitchenette, the twelve-foot space was luxury for Ryan. He still wasn’t used to being waited on, and at first the trailer had seemed unnecessary. But for the long days of shooting, he was very glad to have it.

“Tell me you’re exaggerating.”

Cary took a swig of water. “I wish. No, it seems that in Janelle’s twenty impressive years here on Earth, she’s learned a lot. She was quite put out that I didn’t want the benefit of her extensive knowledge when picking my hiatus project.”

“Wow. Okay, so what’s your mom doing for Christmas?”

“She’ll be in Hawaii. I’d go, but Amanda booked us into a spa for a cleanse.”

“A cleanse? For
Christmas
?”

Cary grimaced. “Yeah, nothing but lettuce and lemon water or something. Oh and pepper or hot sauce, I think. Yum. It’s in the desert near Palm Springs. Lots of yoga and massage, at least.”

“And
starvation
. No turkey? No stuffing? No cookies? It’s just not Christmas without a ton of fattening food.”

“Eh, it’s no big deal.” Cary shrugged. “I’ve never really had a real Christmas. Growing up, my parents were always getting married and divorced, and they vacationed in the tropics. A white Christmas and the family all together is just something I saw on TV.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped. “You’ve never had snow at Christmas?” He realized he was practically shouting and flushed at his overreaction. “Sorry. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday.”

“The most wonderful time of the year? Well, you’re Canadian, so it’s understandable,” Cary replied playfully. His smile faded. “Nah, Christmas was just never a big deal. I got presents and everything, but it’s never been a big special day with walking in a winter wonderland and all that.”

“I’m sorry.” Cary seemed uncharacteristically melancholy about it. “Hey, you’re more than welcome to join me and my family in the Great White North.”

To Ryan’s surprise, Cary’s face lit up. “Really?”

The invite had slipped out, and he hadn’t really been serious, but the thought of actually spending Christmas with Cary had Ryan’s stomach flip-flopping. “Of course. I’m flying home tomorrow, and we’re going up to our cottage on Friday. More snow than you can shake a stick at.” He knew he should limit the time he spent with Cary off set, but…
But I can still look even if I can’t touch.

Again, Cary’s smile disappeared, and he slumped back against the cushions. “Man, I wish I could, but Amanda will kill me if I try to back out of the spa. Besides, I wouldn’t want to intrude on you and your family.”

“It wouldn’t be an intrusion at all. My parents keep saying they want to meet you. You’re my best friend out here.”

Cary’s expression was unreadable. Pleased, maybe? “Really? Thanks, man. That’s nice to hear. You know you’re my boy too.” He punched Ryan’s shoulder lightly.

Ryan cleared his throat and pretended his whole body wasn’t on fire. “Well, the invitation stands if you change your mind.”

They smiled awkwardly at each other. Things had always been totally comfortable between them, but now that they’d kissed on set, Ryan felt on edge. If he relaxed, he was afraid he’d do something that would cross the boundaries without even thinking about it. Now any kind of touch barring a shoulder punch seemed too intimate.
He’s not your boyfriend. It’s all pretend.

Their eyes met, and Ryan swore a current surged between them, shooting up his spine and then right down to his dick. Cary licked his lips, and they stared at each other in the silence. Ryan could feel the heat from Cary’s body beside him on the couch, and Cary seemed to be leaning into him.

A soft knock on the door was followed by a PA calling out, “Ryan? We’re ready for you.”

The strange mood broken, Cary drained his bottle. “See ya next year.” He stood, then pulled Ryan up into a straight-guy hug, slapping his back with a thump.

“Right, see you next year. Merry Christmas.”

As he walked to set, Ryan decided it was a good thing they had three weeks until they had to be back in the second week of January. Time to get this crush on Cary under control. Between work and their friendship, they had a good thing going, and Ryan was damned if he was going to mess that up.

Chapter Two

Ryan’s cell buzzed on the seat beside him as he pulled off the highway into Parry Sound’s mall—which was more of a glorified plaza. He scanned the busy lot for a parking space and glanced at the display. His stomach somersaulted ridiculously, and he quickly pulled into a spot by the huge snowbank created by the snow plows at the edge of the lot.

He swiped his finger across the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, man. It’s Cary.”

“Hi.”
Say something!
“Um, what’s up? Everything okay?”

“I kind of did something a little impulsive.”

“Okay. What did you do?”

“I’m at Pearson right now.”

Ryan blinked. The cold must have blocked his ears. “Pearson? Airport? In Toronto?”

“That’s the one. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for two days, but you never picked up.”

“Shit, sorry. There’s no service out on the bay.” Ryan’s heart thumped.
Cary’s here.

“You said the invite stood and some stuff happened and I really needed to get away. But you were probably just being polite, being Canadian and all, so I’ll just catch the next flight home and—”

“No!” Ryan cleared his throat and took a breath. “Of course you’re still welcome. I can come pick you up, but it’ll take me about two hours to drive down to the airport.” He checked his watch. They’d miss dinner, but shouldn’t be back too late.

Cary chuckled. “Dude, I’m renting a car. Don’t even think about driving back down here.”

“But the roads are slippery. You’re not used to the snow.”

“I’ll be fine. I went four-wheeling in Aspen once. Just give me the address and I’ll GPS it.”

Palms tingling, Ryan gave Cary instructions on how to reach his family’s cottage on Georgian Bay, since there wasn’t a street address. It was an hour outside of the booming metropolis of Parry Sound (population 6,191) on country roads that would be dark before too long. “Use your brights once you get off highway sixty-nine. Unless it’s snowing and there’s a whiteout, because the brights will just make it worse.”

“I’ll be fine, Ry. Don’t worry, the California boy will go slowly.”

“Let me give you the number for the cottage in case you get delayed. We have a landline.”

When Cary had all the details Ryan could think of, they said good-bye and hung up. After pulling out his mom’s shopping list, Ryan hurried toward the grocery store, his boots crunching on the salt in the parking lot. As he walked through the sliding doors, he caught a glimpse of his reflection and realized he was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t help himself.