When The Right Door Opens (12 page)

Agnes got up and watched the photos that were
decorating the living room. Many many photos were there to see. A
clock ticked loudly and highlighted the awkward silence. Sebastian
took in his surroundings too and wondered how Jamie had fitted into
all of this.

“When did mom... and how?” Jamie finally
asked.

“She had a stroke. She didn't suffer. The
doctors said that her smoking was maybe one of the reasons, but
they couldn't say for sure.”

“When?”

“Four, no, five years ago. I tried to reach
you, but Lauren's parents are deceased and I have no new address or
phone number.” Jamie nodded and tried to stay calm. He felt the
sudden urge to jump up and yell and scream at his father. Why had
he given up so easily? He should have tried more to find Jamie.
Jamie had needed him.

“Oh my God. Is that me?” Agnes held out a
picture of a baby and sure enough, it was her with Jamie. She
brought the photo over and Jamie looked at it disbelievingly.
“How... I mean, this was taken when I lived with Lauren.”

“I know. Her parents mailed it to us. It is
the only picture I have ever seen of Agnes and it was the last I
had seen of you.” There was so much regret in Brady's voice, it
made Jamie pity his father.

“I think we should go now. I need to rest and
this was all a lot to digest.”

“Can... Can we keep in contact? I want... I
know I have no right to ask you this after the way we treated you,
but, I want to be a part of your life again. I want to get to know
the man you've become and I want to get to know Agnes and your
Sebastian too. Please? We have lost so much time already. Please,
consider it. Consider to forgive an old man.” Jamie didn't react
right away, he was weighing his words carefully.

Sebastian got up and took a pen and a piece
of paper that lay in a bowl on the coffee table. He scribbled
something on it and held it out to Jamie's father.

“This is my – our address and this is the
phone number of the land-line. Please use it, Mister McCarrick. I
think Jamie is a little overwhelmed and tired, we should get him
home. Thank you for your hospitality.” Sebastian shook Brady's hand
and Brady looked shamefully at the floor.

“I didn't even offer you something to
drink.”

“It's okay. We'll catch up on that next time.
Promise.”

Agnes stood awkwardly in front of her
grand-father.

“I can't believe I have a grand-father
now.”

“You always had one.”

“Well, now that you are back in our lives,
you are going to be part of our family, right? You need to meet
Sebastian's brother, Kai. They are twins, but very different. And
their mother, Karen. She's really fierce, but fun.” Agnes hugged
Brady tightly and smiled brightly.

Jamie stood close to his father. They looked
deep into each other’s eyes and without making a sound, they
talked. They asked for forgiveness and they forgave. Their eyes
filled with new tears and they hugged, as if to make up for all
those years without seeing and feeling their flesh and blood.

Brady watched Jamie and his family leave.
Sebastian drove and the luxurious car took off. Brady stood at the
doorstep until the taillights of the car were gone. Brady McCarrick
sighed contently. On an early morning, he left the house to get his
mail and he walked back in, with his lost son.

****

Jamie was quiet on the way home and Agnes didn't
protest that Sebastian wasn't driving to her school. She would have
missed the first two classes anyway. The last couple of days had
been crazy and unsettling, but at the same time she felt safe and
loved, genuinely accepted for who she was and where she came from
and she dared to hope that her life-long wish of having a family
would finally come true.

Jamie on the other hand, contemplated his
father and what he had said. He had aged a lot, but he looked
healthy and maybe even happy. Jamie regretted not having been at
his mother's side when she died, and he hated that he had forgotten
to ask where she was buried. He wanted to say good-bye to her. He
needed to call his father and ask about it. He needed to see the
grave, to be able to forgive her and to find closure. It had been
easier for him when he thought his parents refused to talk to him
than to know that one of them had deceased and he was the last to
know.

Sebastian parked the car behind Kai's, who
was blocking the way up to his garage. Inside the house,
power-tools could be heard and Agnes immediately hastened up to her
room. Kai was building her bed and she cheered him on.

Jamie and Sebastian stood at the door and
watched too. Jamie managed to smile and he pushed back against
Sebastian's hand that rested soothingly on his neck.

Silently, he pushed Sebastian back and out of
the room. He turned in the other man's arms and without hesitating,
he kissed him. It wasn't a slow, tender kiss, it was wanting, needy
and without finesse. Sebastian grabbed Jamie's hand and pulled him
into his bedroom. They kissed again, still passionate, but less
frantic. Jamie pulled away and looked into Sebastian's brown eyes.
He didn't feel it coming, but the tears were back again. Sebastian
held him close.

“My mother died.” Jamie sobbed, gasping for
air. “I miss her so much.”

“Shh, I know. Let it all out.”

Sebastian guided Jamie to his bed and they
cuddled close to each other. Jamie cried a long time, until there
were no more tears to cry. He lay on Sebastian's chest, listening
to his heartbeat, while Sebastian drew lazy circles on Jamie's
back.

Jamie felt better, safe and protected and
while he mourned the loss of his mother, he welcomed his father
back in his life and it made him happy. Jamie looked up at
Sebastian “Thank you.” he said.

“Stop thanking me. I'm not doing
anything.”

“You are there. That is more than anyone ever
did for me before.” Jamie stretched up and kissed Sebastian on the
lips again. He could get used to this, he could get used feeling
this close to Sebastian. Sleep overwhelmed him and he let his
eyelids droop.

Sebastian was still drawing patterns on
Jamie's back and watched while he fell asleep. “I think, I am
falling for you.” Sebastian whispered and kissed Jamie's hair.
Jamie smiled and cuddled even closer. He had heard the words, but
he wasn't awake enough to tell Sebastian that he was feeling the
same.

****

After a bed and a dresser were put together, Agnes
wanted to show her room to her father. It was almost finished, only
a few decorations were missing. She looked into her father's
bedroom, but it was empty, the bed was neatly made and the room
looked the same as it had looked when they left that morning.

“Maybe he is with Sebastian.” Kai suggested
and Agnes went straight to Sebastian's room. Without knocking, she
entered, but stopped in her tracks.

“What is it?” Kai asked from behind her, but
she only “sshh'ed” him. “Look!”

Sebastian was perched up against the
headboard of his bed, asleep. Jamie lay with his head on
Sebastian's chest with a serene look on his face. Sebastian's arm
held Jamie tightly against him. He too had a smile on his lips.

Agnes took out her smart phone and turned on
the camera.

“What are you doing?” Kai hissed.

“I want to remember this moment. Look at
them! I haven't seen my father relaxed like this in ages. Even in
his sleep, his jaw is set.” She took a few pictures, but was
careful not to make any noise. She didn't want to intrude on her
father's privacy. When she was done, she pushed Kai out of the
room.

“Hey, are you alright?” Kai asked concerned,
when he saw the tears in Agnes's eyes.

“Uhum. I think – I think my dad has found his
luck and I have found a family.” Agnes hesitated and waited for Kai
to mock her; instead he pulled her into his arms.

“Of course, baby-girl. We are going to be a
family. You know it, I know it and I think the two fools in there
know it too.” Kai kissed Agnes's head, not sure if he was
overstepping a line.

“How about a movie and a bowl of
chips-ice.”

“What's chips-ice?” Agnes asked.

“Well, you have a bowl of ice cream and you
crumble some potato-chips over it all.”

“Eww, sounds gross.”

“Oh yes, but it's delicious.” Kai
grinned.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” Kai braced himself for what was to
come.

“Can I call you uncle Kai now?”

“Only if you eat your ice cream with the
chips. Oh and of course after that foot massage I've been craving
and...”

“Alright! Kai it is.” Agnes gave a heartfelt
laugh.

~~Chapter 8~~

Jamie woke up the next day confused to feel the
warmth of a manly arm draped around his shoulders. Until now he had
always been very careful to not fall asleep with a client. It was
dangerous to give in and stay for the night and most clients
required another fuck without paying appropriately anyway. Jamie
scolded himself for his imprudence and vowed to never let it happen
again.

He raised his head a little to see the john
and started to smile. He was safe. Who he saw was no client, who he
saw was Sebastian. A little drool was running out of the corner of
his mouth, but it was not disgusting, it was adorable. Sebastian
looked peacefully asleep and Jamie dared to cuddle even closer to
this man. He sighed contentedly and took a deep breath, drinking in
Sebastian's natural scent that was overpowering the faint smell of
detergent from his shirt. Jamie dared to close his eyes and enjoy
the peaceful rightness of the situation again.

Jamie tried to dream up a happy shared future
while he wasn't really able to sleep. He saw himself doing a
barbecue with friends he didn't have, but also with the family he
recently found. It made him feel warm inside and it made him smile.
Agnes was happy and laughing with Kai. Jamie was glad that she had
found a good person, someone who took her side, in Kai. Sebastian
was talking with his mother and Jamie's father. The sun warmed him
from inside out. It was perfect.

Sebastian stirred under him and Jamie knew it
was time to open his eyes soon. Just a little longer, he tried to
hold on to what he had. Jamie had experienced so many moments of
loss, so many moments of insecurity, that he didn't dare to admit
how attached he felt to Sebastian after only a short amount of
time. He felt Sebastian's body becoming harder under his own. The
muscle tone was coming back and Jamie didn't only feel it, he also
heard the breathing change and Sebastian's heartbeat was a little
too fast, too thumbing now. Jamie lay still and waited.

Sebastian started petting Jamie's hair,
running his fingers gently through it soothingly. He didn't move,
didn't speak, and didn’t let on that he was awake too, apart from
the fingers that searched contact. Sebastian sighed deeply and
Jamie moved a little closer. He took the opportunity that presented
itself and grabbed Sebastian tighter, but still pretended to be
asleep.

“Are you awake?” Sebastian asked
whispering.

“I don't want to be.” was Jamie's mumbled
answer and Sebastian chuckled.

“Go back to sleep then.”

“I don't want to go to my own cold bed.”

“Stay!” Sebastian was surprised at his own
voice. It was almost pleading and it finally made Jamie look
up.

“What? What did you say?”

“I said, stay.”

“But you don't know me. What if...”
Sebastian's finger on Jamie's lips kept him from speaking on.

“Don't. Please don't say 'what if', because I
can't foresee the future. I only know, that you feel good in my
arms and that I want to stay like this a little longer. I'm not
promising a forever, I am not without my own very annoying flaws,
but I like you here. With me.” Jamie was stunned at the confession
and he searched Sebastian's deep brown eyes for a sign of doubt,
but there was none.

“Hopeless for a long time, for the wrong
reason I was in love.” Jamie sang more to himself than to
Sebastian.

“Come again?”

“Oh, um... just a song that came to my mind.”
Jamie dismissed it smiling, but determined to find that CD again. A
rarity from the UK that a client had given him. A good and nice man
actually, who was wealthy and clean. More than once he had offered
to take Jamie in, but Jamie had always declined the offer because
of Agnes and also, because he didn't want to end up as a mistress
in closeted queen's life.

“Is that a torch or are you happy to see me?”
Jamie teased, trying to lighten the mood and show his playful side,
when he shifted a bit and brushed his hand against Sebastian's
throbbing erection.

“Oh my God. You didn't just say that? That
alone is a reason to throw you out of this bed. Sexy talk – yes!
Dirty talk – yes! But what you just did – no. No-go!” Sebastian
wiggled his finger to underline what he just said. Jamie couldn't
suppress his laughter. It was the first time Sebastian had acted
really gay and it looked funny and out of character.

“Are you laughing about me?” Sebastian
demanded to know and Jamie couldn't stop laughing, he simply
nodded.

“That deserves to be punished.” Sebastian
said sternly and then he started tickling Jamie, he was writhing
and gasping for air underneath Sebastian, who had turned them and
was towering over Jamie. They started rolling around on the bed,
each one trying to submit the other one.

Jamie panted and came to rest on top of
Sebastian, pining his arms over his head with only one hand. He had
the urge to kiss Sebastian. The sexual tension was rising and he
almost fell into Sebastian's deep brown eyes. He felt the
unmistakable tell-tale bulge in Sebastian's pants pressing into his
own arousal and he involuntarily moved against it, making Sebastian
moan.

Jamie and Sebastian stared into each other’s
eyes. The playful mood was replaced by a sensual tension between
the two. Slowly, only in slow motion, Jamie lowered his head and
covered Sebastian's mouth, lightly at first, almost hesitantly as
if he was waiting to be rejected. He was not rejected, however. A
tender kiss was exchanged and Jamie's free hand slowly trailed down
Sebastian's hard muscled body. When Jamie's hand was grazing
Sebastian's hips, he laughed and moved away. “Tickles.”