When The Right Door Opens (7 page)

“Thank you Kai. I mean it. For everything you
did and said.”

“I told you already, not a problem at all.”
He smiled again and waved at Agnes, before he left through the
backdoor. Sebastian locked it immediately.

Agnes yawned again and Jamie wanted to rush
her to the bathroom to get ready for bed, but he had no idea where
she was supposed to sleep or where he was supposed to sleep.
Sebastian sensed his uncertainty and stood up, clearing the bowls
into the dishwasher.

“Kai put your bags upstairs in the guestroom.
There is a second guestroom, but it's cramped with boxes. I'll
clean it out later today, so that you – Agnes – can have your own
room. Is that okay?”

“That would be really nice. It's nice to let
us stay, Mister...?”

“Martin, but please call me Sebastian. It's
less awkward that way.”

“You really don't have to turn your life
upside down for us...”

“Yes, I already told your dad, that I want
to... now, let me show you your room for the night. Is it okay for
you to sleep in the same room? It's only for one night. If it
isn't, one of you can have my bedroom and I'll take the couch.”
Sebastian talked fast and his nervousness was clearly audible.

Sebastian took his cane and walked in front
of Agnes and Jamie up the stairs. It was arduous, but it was the
only way his tired body was walking anywhere. He took his time to
show Agnes exactly where to find everything and he didn't tire to
reassure Jamie that he was welcome to be there and that they
weren't a burden to him.

Once Jamie and Agnes were settled, they
cuddled close together under the covers. It was out of the question
for Jamie and for Agnes too, to be separated again, if only for the
night. Jamie needed his daughter close by and Agnes needed her
father. She didn't care how childish it would appear to their
handsome host, she simply needed to feel her father by her
side.

Jamie was almost asleep, when Agnes spoke
again “Dad? You still didn't tell me what happened to you and who
is that Sebastian?” Jamie wanted to tell her to go to sleep and
they would speak about it another time, but he knew he owed her the
truth, at least bits of it.

“I had an accident, that's why I didn't call
and I couldn't take a cab, because my wallet and phone were lost.
Sebastian and his brother helped me. Kai is a paramedic.”

“Was it one of your clients?” she asked
concerned, she wasn't dumb, she had seen the imprints on her
father's jaw.

“It doesn't matter what really happened. I am
alright. We will be fine.”

“I don't want you to go back to work and I
don't want to spend any more time with Lauren.”

“I know honey, I know.” Jamie shuffled closer
to Agnes and kissed her hair.

“I like Sebastian. How long can we stay here
until we have to move again?” tears burned in Jamie's eyes. It was
his fault his daughter lived like this and asked questions like a
grown-up. He had robbed her of her childhood and it didn't matter
that he hadn't done it on purpose, but Agnes simply knew things she
shouldn't know and worry about.

“I wished I could answer that, but I can't.
We have to talk about it in the morning. With Sebastian.”

“Does that mean I don't have to go to school
in the morning?” she asked with the hopeful voice only a teenager
can muster.

“It's an exception because it is already 2
am. But yes, you can stay ho... with me the whole day.” Agnes was
satisfied enough with that answer, turned to her side and stared
into the darkness. Agnes was worried. For her father, for herself
and for the future. There were many more questions on her mind, but
she didn't dare asking them, partly out of fear of the answers and
partly, because she knew that her father wouldn't answer them
anyway. She started concentrating on her breathing, a technique
they had learned in school and that was supposed to help with test
anxiety, and sure enough, she soon breathed evenly and softly and
fell asleep.

For the first time that night, Jamie let
himself think about what had happened and how it would affect his
future. Jamie turned to his side and watched Agnes. He didn't want
to lose her and he didn't want to hurt her. When Agnes had asked
him not to go back to work, his heart had almost broken, but she
was right. He was twenty-nine years old and the care giver of a
child – a teenager and he needed to act like it. Jamie knew that
the rape had only happened because of his job and somehow, it was
okay, if only very embarrassing. It was terrible, yes, but he also
knew that he had been playing with fire for a very long time and he
was lucky that nothing had ever happened before. Jamie already felt
much better and he had to thank Kai and his brother for that. He
couldn't describe it really, but somehow, he felt safe with
Sebastian. Still, Jamie's ever working brain came up with question
after question.
Why is Sebastian so kind and why is he offering
me and Agnes a place to stay, even though he has no idea who we
are? And what happened to his leg?

Jamie drifted in and out of sleep for the
next few hours and finally got up at eight thirty. Agnes was still
sleeping and Jamie decided to let her be. She had had a rough day
and night too. Jamie took a moment to look at his little girl. She
seemed to sleep so peacefully. Jamie was still amazed that some of
his genes had helped to make such an amazing human being and he was
the reason she was there and he was also a huge factor why she was
the way she was. There was no doubt that he was very proud of his
girl, the only thing that started to give him headaches was, that
he knew soon the boys would be all over her. She would turn many
heads.

Jamie sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his
eyes, before he turned and groggily went to the bathroom.
Time
to face reality again!

~~Chapter 4~~

Jamie felt sore and his back hurt from the unusual
feeling of sleeping on a comfortable mattress, but apart from that,
he felt okay. His head didn't hurt and he didn't feel nauseous or
dizzy, like he had expected to feel. One last look into the
bathroom mirror confirmed what he had feared and known – although
he felt way better, he looked worse than last night. He rubbed his
eyes and yawning, he made his way down the stairs and to the
kitchen. He was startled when he saw Sebastian sitting at a table,
only clad in pajama bottoms. He was reading the newspaper and had a
steaming hot beverage in front of him. His naked muscly back made
Jamie look twice and gasp.
Wow!
The kitchen smelled
deliciously of fresh coffee, but that wasn't the only reason why
Jamie feared he might drool.

“Hi.” Jamie said rubbing the back of his neck
uncomfortably, once he had overcome the paralysis and was able move
– and think again.

Sebastian turned around and eyed Jamie up and
down none too subtly, then he smiled in a friendly way. Jamie
didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't a
beautiful man, who was half naked and smiled at him, like he was
happy to see him.
He is in his own home. He can sit around
whichever way he likes!
It wasn't that it bothered him, it was
more that his stomach felt like it was in knots and his whole body
felt warm and – home.

“I made coffee.” Sebastian said awkwardly
when he looked away, folding the newspaper and putting it aside.
Jamie poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the opposite side of
the table. His hand grabbed at his mug, like it was his anchor he
didn't know what else to do with them.

“Is Agnes still asleep?” Sebastian asked, to
find something to talk about.

“Yes. I need to call her in sick.” Sebastian
pointed to the phone hanging on the wall near the backdoor and
Jamie wordlessly stood up and called the school to let them know
that Agnes wouldn't come in. Again he was relieved that he knew
every important phone number by heart. The phone call took only a
few minutes and Jamie sat back down again. He took a sip of his
coffee and was thinking about something to say.

“So, um no work today?” he asked and
Sebastian looked up. The tension in the kitchen was awkward.

“No, um, no. I am in between jobs. So to
speak.” Sebastian shrugged and waited for the inevitable question
and sure enough, Jamie asked it: “What do you do?” Sebastian
grinned faintly and told Jamie, that he was a writer.

“A writer who is blessed with writer's block
and isn't able to write anything a publisher wants to buy.”
Sebastian was waiting for the usual tilt of the head followed by a
pitying smile, but Jamie didn't smile and he didn't tilt his
head.

“Have you written anything I know?” he asked
instead. Sebastian shook his head: “I don't think you've read my
book.” He was not judging Jamie or his intellect, it was more, that
he couldn't imagine anyone being interested in reading his book. It
wasn't all that interesting anyway; had he included more personal
details, it may have been a bestseller, but right now it was a
non-seller.

“Uh hum, because I am a dumb whore. I
understand.” Jamie answered defensively and got up too quickly. His
head spun, but he did his best to not let it on. He rinsed his cup
in the sink and put it in the dishwasher. Jamie was almost at the
door, before he turned and looked at Sebastian again. He too now
stood near his chair, looking at his naked feet shyly.

“Thank you for your hospitality, but we'll be
out of your hair as soon as Agnes is up. You don't need someone
like me in your life.”

“That's not what I said. I wrote a memoir...
about myself... and not everyone likes to read books about
disillusioned former male dancers. Though technically, when I wrote
the book I was still dancing, now – not so much. You didn't strike
me as someone interested in the life of others anyway. I never said
that you are dumb or anything. I have no idea who you are, why
should I assume things? It doesn't make the book any better
though.” Sebastian deflated and sat back down on his chair staring
out of the window, his head supported by his hand.

“I can't keep you here against your will and
you already wanted to leave yesterday...” his voice sounded
sad.

“It's not that I am not grateful, because I
am, I really am. Maybe I'm simply not used to people being nice to
me. It's been really tough these last few years.” Jamie came back
into the kitchen. He was momentarily undecided what to do and stood
awkwardly near the table, looking down at Sebastian who was back at
reading his paper. Sebastian nodded understandingly and wanted to
say something, but his words were stuck in his throat when he
looked up and right into Jamie's green eyes. His jaw was set and
Jamie didn't want to look, but he couldn't keep his eyes from
roaming the almost perfect man in front of him. Muscles everywhere.
Not bulging, but perfectly defined and definitely there. It was
obvious that this man exercised a lot.

Jamie felt so many emotions at once. He
wanted to hug and kiss this man and somewhere deep inside of him
sprouted a desire that had been buried long ago, a desire to do
more, but he also felt weird having these thoughts. Was he feeling
this way only out of gratitude, or where genuine feelings finding a
way into his rotten heart? Jamie sat back opposite of Sebastian.
They didn't talk, but Sebastian pushed parts of his newspaper over
to Jamie. He smiled and took it.
Fight over
! They read
quietly for some time when Sebastian looked up.

“I should give you a tour of the house, once
Agnes is awake.” Sebastian mumbled and Jamie wasn't sure, if the
words were addressed to him or not.

Jamie took the time and looked at his
surroundings. The kitchen was nice, spotless, but homey. You could
see that someone lived and cooked here. Sebastian's cane was
leaning against the counter farthest away from him, and again Jamie
wondered why he needed it and what had happened to him.
Disillusioned former male dancer! What is that supposed to
mean
? He pointed at the cane “Can I ask why you need the cane?”
Jamie asked carefully. Sebastian's gaze traveled to the hated item:
“Accident” was all he said through clenched teeth. Jamie waited for
him to explain, but he didn't explain anything else, instead he
smoothly changed the subject.

“Do you want another cup of coffee?”
Sebastian asked and Jamie nodded, letting go of the question, but
it didn't do anything to ease his curiosity. Sebastian got off his
chair and before he even stood on both feet lost his balance. Jamie
was immediately at his side to steady him.

“Easy there, I've got you. I've got you,
you're safe.” Jamie didn't know why these exact words fell from his
mouth, but he couldn't hold Sebastian's eyes, the fact, that
Sebastian had said the same words to him a few hours ago was just
too real and too present in his memories. His arms were on
Sebastian's bare hips and he felt a jolt of electricity running
through him. The combination of warm skin and deep brown eyes
looking into his own made him want to brush his lips against
Sebastian's. The thought came suddenly and surprised him. It had
been a long while since Jamie had felt a similar feeling, but he
recognized it immediately.
It can't be! It can't be more than
lust!

Sebastian pulled away from Jamie abruptly,
albeit, reluctantly. He hobbled to the coffee pot, and poured two
mugs. It gave him a moment to organize his thoughts. He was
confused about what he had felt just now. It was like someone had
broken the chains around his heart and found entrance. Sebastian
couldn't keep a silly grin from his face. His heart beat faster and
his hands were shaking when he turned to give Jamie his coffee
mug.

“Let me take that.” Jamie offered smiling and
took both mugs to the table.

“I used to be a ballet dancer.” Sebastian
started to tell his story, when he took his seat again. Something
urged him to open up to Jamie, an unknown force wanted him to trust
this man.