What My Eyes Can't See (12 page)

So many thoughts were running through my head, while Shayvon was just standing there with his mouth wide shut. Todd was trying to grab Q’Mari in an effort to keep him from punching the bitch. I was squeezing my way in between them and Shay, so I could I find out what was really going on.

What the fuck, this female comes out of the blue, yelling at my man. Talking about how he’s denying that her baby. I know for sure that it’s not true. Shayvon would never keep anything like that from me. I’m about to put hands on this hoe, if she don’t get out of here right now. She must not know who she’s fucking with.

“You can get the fuck out of my face. Bougie hoe! You don’t even know that man. He will mess over you and leave you, and you really don’t want to go there with me. I will break your bougie little heart with the truth.”

I could not stand to hear her say another foul word about my baby and I’ve never really been the type to stand there arguing. Before I knew it, I was punching her in the face. I couldn't even see any more. Rage had completely taken over my entire body. I felt my hair being pulled, but I kept landing punches and biting my lip. Then I felt somebody pick me up and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the truck with Shay. I could still see the commotion going on in the distance as Shayvon drove away, still not saying a word. I broke the silence.

“So wait, let me get this straight,” I said, with a cracking voice from being so amped. “Some random female approaches you about a child that you’re supposedly not claiming, and you don’t have anything to say? I’m out here fighting and defending your honor and you acting like nothing is going on! You know what? Drop me off at Davona’s. I can’t do this right now.”

“It’s not like that, Sacaria.”

“Then how is it, Shay?”

“I will explain everything, just calm down!”

“Explain everything? What is there to explain? Is there really something to what she was saying or not?” I asked, waiting on Shay to respond, but he didn't. “Oh hell no! I can’t do this with you, Shay. Talking about calm down. Drop me off! I don’t even want to see your face right now!”

Even though I wasn’t making a sound, tears ran down my face like a waterfall. I just can’t believe that Shayvon has a baby momma and didn't tell me. I would have accepted him still, even though he’d made me feel like I would be the first woman to carry his child. I don’t like the pain I feel and Lord knows that as reality sets in, it will only get worse. Why is this happening to me right now?

Shayvon’s phone kept ringing on the way to Davona’s. He finally answered it, only to tell whoever it was on the line that he couldn't talk. I assumed that it was either Todd or Q’Mari, because I could hear a man’s voice and other people in the background talking loud.

When we got to Davona’s, I jumped out of the truck without saying a word, and went straight into the house using my spare key. I could hear his tires squeal as Shayvon sped away.

When I walked into the house, it was dark and smelled nasty. It smelled like funky body odor and some other stuff that I can’t put my finger on. It was kind of quiet, except for some knocking and creaking noises I was hearing from the back room. I just assumed that Davona must have been in the back, getting her freak on, which was a nasty and horrible thought. Ugh! I never want to walk in on anything like that; there are some things that you just can’t unsee. I tried to turn on several lights, but the bulbs were blown. It’s safe to say that I wasn’t happy with the condition of Granny Amanda’s house, and I wasn’t in the mood to be let down again. I pulled out my cell to dial Taniyah’s number.

“Taniyah, hey girl. Can you pick me up from Davona’s?”

“Hell yeah, and what’s wrong? You sound like you lost your dog.”

“I will tell you when you get here. I need to catch my breath.”

“All right then, I’m on my way.”

I locked the door and bounced, without inspecting the rest of the house or even announcing my arrival. When I met Taniyah out front, it was like a breath of fresh air. Taniyah was my last safe place and the only person I had to go to. Taniyah hugged me and opened the car door for me.

“What the fuck happened?” Taniyah asked, as she slammed the door shut behind me.

“Girl, you ain’t gon’ believe this shit. Before I forget, I want to thank you for coming to get me,” I said, as Taniyah hastily jumped into the driver seat.

“Bitch and you thought I wouldn't? You know I gotchu, girl.” Taniyah cut a glance at me and said, “Please tell me that Davona didn’t piss you off. I know that’s your momma, but she can catch a fade.”

“It’s not Davona this time. Well, at this point, I’m not really sure, but for certain this is all on Shay’s ass right now.”

Whenever I felt the closest to Shayvon, I would call him Shay. I just noticed that even though I was pissed off, I kept calling him Shay; it was the only way to still feel our closeness. Closeness, which might be fucked up forever.

“Okay, check it, we was chilling with Todd and Q’Mari having a good time. Out of the blue, some random bitch walks up hooting and hollering some major, about her and Shay having a baby together that he isn’t claiming. Bitch, I didn’t know what to do at first, because I was in shock like a muthafucka. I really wanted to slap the shit out of Shay to get him to say or do something.”

“Girl please, I don’t believe that. Shay would’t keep no shit like that from you. That tramp, whoever the fuck she was, must want me to go from zero to one hundred on that ass. So… it better be a mistake. You know I don’t like to fuck up my hair up over no bullshit.”

“There's no mistake about it. You know how Shay gets down. There’s no way some bitch would try him like that out in public. Bottom line, Shay has a muthafuckin’ baby that he’s not acknowledging, and never told me about. With a ratchet bitch at that.”

“You know bitches be hating. They can’t stand to see you happy. You need to call Shay and get this shit straight.”

For some reason, I didn’t want Taniyah to call Shayvon "Shay". I was holding on to the last piece of him and every time she said his name like that it, made me feel as if what we have is insignificant as fuck.

“So what the fuck did Shay do while that shit was going down? I know he went bad on her ass right?”

“He didn’t say anything. I beat her ass and he drove me away from there, without saying a word.”

“Nothing, not even a peep?” Taniyah questioned me.

“Nothing, not a muthafuckin’ word.” All I could do was shake my head. Tears began to flow down my cheeks again, like a broken spout that could not be turned off.

“Girl, it’s going to be okay.” Taniyah put her hand on my back. “I’m telling you that bitch got you and Shay fucked up. Shay wouldn’t do that to you. That bitch is lying like fuck!”

With steam coming from both ears, Taniyah took a hard right turn at the corner. As I listened to the car wheels squeal, I was hoping that Taniyah’s words were the predicted truth, but why wouldn’t Shay just say so? Why wouldn't he tell me about the situation from the start? Granted, it’s a fucked up predicament to be in, but damn, I think I deserved to know. Did he think that little of me to assume that I wouldn’t be there for him?

“I don’t know Taniyah, but my head hurts and I don’t want to think about this shit right now.” Shay and I just went from the top of the world, to the pits of hell in a matter of hours. I’m not built for all of this. I feel like someone just died.

“I get it girl,” said Taniyah. “No worries. Just rest your head and I will take care of you. You know I got you, boo. Let me know if you're not going to school tomorrow, so I can get your assignments for you, okay? If necessary, I can pay this lil nerd I know, to do your work for you. Feel free to stay with me until you're ready to go home.”

I
kept checking my phone to see if Shay tried to text or call, but there was nothing in my logs. Technically, he should be trying to fix this situation, or maybe he’s straightening things out with his baby momma.
I can’t even believe I said Shayvon and baby momma in the same sentence.

All night, Taniyah held me close and I felt okay under the circumstances. It was nice to feel loved.

This is not how I planned to tell Sacaria about Jasmine. It is a messed-up story that I should had told her from the start, but it just never seemed to come up. I’m not like my dad and I never wanted to have my seed planted in some bitch that I don’t like. I should have gotten a blood test, but since I don’t even remember sleeping with Jasmine, I just figured that she was after my money.

I have no idea why my mom would ever even entertain Jasmine and her lies. I’m for sure going to check my mom about that shit too. I guess she’s so used to how my dad treated her that she didn’t put it past me. Since my mom has never witnessed me being in a committed relationship, she probably figured that it’s some "like father like son" type of shit. Well, I’m not him and Jasmine's ass is lying.

Jasmine wasn’t even there the night she claims that I had sex with her. Granted, there was a lot of females there and I did get drunk, but not drunk enough not to strap up. A ‘G’ like me can strap up, even if I was in a coma. These thots will do anything for money. Momma ain’t raised no fool and I’m not Boo-Boo the fool either. I should have just had a DNA test done, but the fact that I never even saw the baby in person, didn’t set right with me. How can I get a DNA test on a baby that I can’t even see? I told the bitch to bring that baby to me, but she never did. She just gossips out in the streets about how I don’t take care of it.

Jasmine claims that my mom thinks the baby looks just like me, but my mom say she never even saw the baby. I guess now would be a good time to call Moms to see what’s really going on.

“Hey Mom, are you busy right now? I need to holla... um…talk to you about something important.”

Mom replied, “I’m free for a little bit, baby, but you know I gotta be at Bible study tonight and the pastor asked me to run an errand on the way to the church.”

“Okay then, I will make it quick.”

“Okay, hurry up baby. I love you and I sure hope everything is okay with you.”

“See you in a minute, Mom. Love you too.”

Moms and I talked about Jasmine and the baby situation she keeps getting at me about. Mom said that she never saw the baby in person, but that Jasmine showed her a picture of a baby boy that looked like me. She said that she gave her diapers, food, and clothes.

Having this conversation was hard, because I could see the hurt in my Mom’s eyes. She looked me dead in my face and told me how this situation brings back so many bad memories for her. I held my mom and promised her that I’m nothing like my father and with that being said, I promised to handle the situation ASAP.

As soon as I left Moms, I got Q’Mari on the phone. He was able to get Jasmine’s number from Tiffany. I wondered how Jasmine knew where to find me. Then it hit me that Tiffany saw me pull up to meet Todd earlier. That trifling bitch couldn't wait to run her fucking mouth—always minding somebody else’s business.

I haven't tried to call Sacaria. I’m going to give her time to take everything in. Good thing I love that girl, because with any other bitch, I wouldn't have gave two fucks about what she was going through. Mainly, I’d be instructing her to shut the fuck up, stay the fuck out of grown man business and a whole list of other shit, but this was different. I owed Sacaria an explanation. Not only that, but also, this explanation should be given sooner than later. I can't imagine how bae must be feeling right now. Sacaria trusted me, when she wouldn't trust anybody else, and my dumb fuck ass let her down.

Jasmine’s bitch ass is really tripping. I need to go talk to her about this situation and get a resolution to it, ASAP. Between this shit and Erica’s disappearance, I'm not sure what’s going on. Why does my gut say that Erica is somewhere plotting on me? I didn’t end things well with her. In fact, I really didn’t end things at all. God forbid that Erica should resurface and be pregnant by me; Sacaria would kill me.

I’m not going to waste time getting ahead of myself or stressing over these thots. I'm going to set Tiffany’s ass straight and go fix things with my future wife. As Sacaria would say, ‘Everything else can take several seats in the “I don’t give a fuck” section’.

“Jasmine!” Shayvon shouted.

“Who dis?”

“Did you really just answer the phone with, who dis?
Ratchet ass.
Never mind bitch, look. Bring the baby outside so I can see it, him, her or whatever,” I yelled, as I stared furiously at the door to Jasmine’s house.

“Who the fuck is this?”

“It’s Shay, bruh! How many other muthafuckas you got thinking that that’s their baby? Bitch, stop playing and bring me the baby! You wanted me here, so now I'm fucking here.”

“Well, he’s not here, Shay, damn!”

“Where in the fuck is he? Come get your ass in this car. Let’s go get him right now.”

“He will be home tomorrow. Come back tomorrow!”

No this trifling bitch did not just hang up the phone in my face. I knew she was playing games, and I didn't have time for it. Against my best judgment, I got up and went to her door, since I was already parked outside. I was ringing her phone off the hook, but she wouldn’t answer.

I hollered, “Jasmine, open up this door before I kick it off the hinges!”

The door slowly opened and out popped Jasmine’s head. “What the fuck, Shay!”

“Bitch, don’t play with me. Let me in!” I pushed my way into the house. “I want to see my so-called child!”

“I told you that he ain’t here, damn! Why are you acting so crazy? You and that bitch are made for each other. Do you see what she did to my eye? Psycho bitch!”

“You ain’t seen me act crazy yet. You got these cats up in here, but it ain’t a baby in sight.”

The two young dudes that were sitting on the couch, jumped up on their feet.

The taller dude said, “Aw man, Shay, I didn’t know y’all was fucking around. No disrespect, homie. We’re leaving,” he said, as he yanked his homie’s sleeve in effort to get him moving faster.

“Nah, we ain’t like nothing, blood! But right now, it would be...” Before I could finish my sentence they had bent the corner and let the screen door slam behind them. I see these fools ain’t forgot who I am, but Jasmine obviously did, because she’s trying me.
This ole trifling ass thot
.