What My Eyes Can't See (10 page)

“Well what did he say…?” my bff started to ask, until she heard the background commentary.

“Yo’, that frog got you a gift. Look at your new girlfriend. Ah haa…” I could see his tall friend talking and laughing. The shorter friend was laughing, slapping his legs and pointing in my direction. As I looked around sheepishly, I could see that everyone’s attention was on me. I froze. My bff tried to pull me away, but my gut started to fill with anger. A girl approached my love. Defend me, my love, I thought, as my friend continued to try to pull me away from the scene.

Defend me, you asshole, I kept thinking. He never did. Instead, he took the necklace that I gave him, walked up to some random chick, put it around her neck and walked away with her, hand-in-hand. He looked back at me. Looked me dead in the face and laughed. This did not just happen. “Wait! Let me do this again differently. Nooo! Please don’t walk away with her, please!” I begged and pleaded. The principal was called, along with the yard duty teacher to remove me from the schoolyard. Kicking and screaming, I pleaded, “No… please don’t go! I love you! I love you! Please…” I begged, but there was no use. He was gone forever.

I sat up in bed sweating and reaching for my water bottle. Oh, how much I hated that dream. Only this time, I could see the faces clearly. Usually I could hear the voices and the events, but the faces would be a blur. I drank from my water bottle, took some deep breaths, and then turned on the flat screen that rested securely on my bedroom wall. I never really used this TV except for nights when my first taste of love haunted me.

“Hey bae, has Todd or Q’Mari heard from Erica? She won’t return my texts or my calls, and Taniyah says that she hasn’t heard from her either. She hasn’t even been to class in a couple of days.” I wondered what the hell is up with her. I know we have our moments, but when Taniyah can’t find her, that’s not a good sign.

“I don’t bae, maybe she got caught up,” Shayvon said.

“Caught up with what, Shay? Are you seriously going to go there right now? This not time for rumors and shit, damn. I’m really worried about her,” I scoffed.

I have never heard of Erica taking off for more than a day without contacting anybody. She could have at least texted a bitch back to let me know what’s up.

“You don’t even seem concerned about this, Shay.”

“I’m not concerned. If she wants to act funny, then let her. I’m not trying to get choked out for worrying about the next irrelevant hoe.”

“This is different, bae. I need you to call around to see if anybody has seen her.”

“So you say, but a’ight. Did you check the strip club?” Shayvon asked with cynicism.

I can’t believe that Shay is really cracking jokes at a time like this. If he only knew the kind of danger that she could be in right now. Shayvon would regret saying that shit and then kill me for befriending her. For his information, I did check the strip club. Nobody has seen or heard from her. Damn, is my girl really missing? Maybe it’s best not to trip on right away. She might just be out with a new boo having a good time. Scratch that; Erica don’t have any boo thangs, booty calls, boyfriends, or none of that regular shit that every female has. She just has a pocket full of tricks that she only spends time with, an hour here and an hour there. Other than that, she’s dry. She has never even mentioned any old boo thangs. Never have I hung around with any female that didn’t have some old boo thang, good dick, and bad dick stories. The only conversation Erica has is about things. Gucci this, Prada that, my condo, my BMW.
Yawn
.

I find it kind of weird, but it doesn’t seem to bother Taniyah. Unfortunately, I am not as patient and understanding as Niyah is. That shit bothered me to the core, because where they do that at? After a while, I couldn’t tell who or what Erica really cared about. She seemed cold and guarded. Even though we could have some good times; laughing together, talking and partying, at the end of the day, that’s really all there was. I think she had somehow convinced herself that she’s loving and caring, but I don’t see it. She’s fun for sure, but it seems as if that is as deep as she gets. Maybe I need to give her more time to warm up to me, but she’d better speed that shit up.

This bitch, Erica, is really tripping. I haven't heard from her in days. I knew she was up to no good, sneaking around with Shayvon for the last few weeks, but nobody else knows about it, so I don’t understand why she’s hiding out. I thought I knew everything about her, including any place she might be, but I guess I was wrong. She’s supposed to be my ace, but this sudden disappearance is telling me a different story. This must be how parents feel when they kids don’t come straight home from school. They worry, but be mad as hell at the same time.

I know she didn’t go make no side money without calling me. As weird as these tricks are half of the time, there’s no way she went anywhere with one, without calling me first. Erica knows the code and this just isn’t like her. For all I know, she could be sitting on a beach in Tahiti, sipping on tropical drinks. Don’t they have cell phone service in Tahiti, because my calls are going straight to voicemail and she hasn't returned any of my texts. As much as I hate to, I’m ready to file a missing person’s report. Damn Erica! Where are you?

A couple of weeks went by and nobody has seen or heard from Erica. Funny thing was that her apartment seemed to be still intact. We even went by her uncle’s spot twice and both times, there was no one there either. At the end of the day, she’s a grown woman. If she doesn’t want to be around, that is her prerogative. I’m sure her uncle would have contacted us by now if something were wrong, since we did leave a note.

News of her missing in action started to go on the back burner as my love for Shayvon continued to flourish. Lately he has been so horny and all over me, like he was when we first started having sex. I loved the attention, but between Shayvon, Taniyah and school, I was burning my candle at both ends. I need to get lost, just like Erica did. Shayvon had been talking about gassing up the yacht, and I think that’s exactly what we need to do.

“Yo’ bae! When was you thinking about taking that cruise? I need to get away,” I yelled from the bathroom, as I plucked my eyebrows.

“I don’t know, bae. I’m still faded from the last party we went to,” Shay said, as he walked up behind me and kissed the back of my neck. “Seriously, I’m not sure if this a good time. I got some stuff to handle wit the boys”

“No... I don’t want to party. I just want a nice relaxing getaway. Just me and you, daddy. Some good food and some rest. And what kind of mess do you have to fix this time? I swear them niggas would starve without you.”

“Nah it is not like that, bae. Just a bump or two that need to be smoothed out. If all goes well, we can do it this weekend if you’re down.”

“I’m down.” I said, as I blew a kiss to Shayvon.

Shit, I really needed this getaway more than Shayvon knew. I’m tired of school and I don’t think I want to work. If we’re not going to get these degrees and start our own business, then I’m dropping out of school. This studying and being a good girl is driving me insane.

I want to tell Shayvon how I feel, but after he pulled back from trapping to be home and make a life with me, the news might hurt him. I mean he still did his thing in the online market and rode for his boys in the streets, but it was still a change—a change that I appreciated. Maybe if we get away for a few days, I can shake this feeling and get back on track. I feel like Shayvon is the only man that ever loved me and I don’t want to lose him.

Shayvon spent so much money, getting everything ready for our weekend getaway. It’s been a while since Shayvon and I talked about money. He was a baller to the true definition, and there was never a need to debate over how much anything cost, or what bills needed to be paid. Whatever I wanted I got, with no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.

I wasn’t hard on his pockets though. I was used to not having much, so it just wasn’t in me to shop like crazy, or buy too many expensive items on a regular basis. Unbelievably, I was happy with the security that his money provided. Knowing that I always had a roof over my head and food in my mouth, no matter what, was worth more than anything else was to me. Shayvon’s love was just the icing on the cake.

From what I have learned about Shayvon, I’m the only one besides his mother that has ever been in this position in his life. In other words, he’s never gave a damn about a female enough to take her on a full-time relationship and take care of her financially. I’m lucky and I know it, but for some reason, I still can’t change. I want to change; I want to be faithful. I want to be the woman he thinks I am. I want to be everything that Shayvon wants me to be, but sometimes I don’t know who or what I am.

When I pulled back from my old life in Atlanta, I thought I was through with my dark side. Maybe after Granny Amanda died, I was so overwhelmed with emotion, or too withdrawn from reality to notice that underneath it all, I was still trifling. Speaking of trifling, I need to get in touch with Sylvia and Vallika. I haven’t talked to them since I moved back out here.

I bet they have lots to talk about; not sure if I want to hear any of it though. Vallika damn near cussed me out on my
Instagram
post. She was getting at me, because I haven’t been answering calls. I feel it, because I did leave them hanging, but damn. I was tired of hearing the same old shit every time we talked. Maybe I can dominate the conversation with new developments from my end only.

“You have reached Vallika. If your man is not with you, it doesn’t mean he’s with me. Please leave a message after the tone, and I will hit you back when I can… swerve.”
What type of ghetto ass voicemail greeting is that?
Vallika’s ass is still the side chick and owning it at this point, I guess. Ain’t that about nothing; this is some funny shit.

“What’s up wit it, bitch?” Sylvia answered the phone with a burst of excitement.

“Hey boo! I miss you!”

“You better. I have been lurking on your
Instagram
page. Who is that fine ass nigga you been with, and…”

Sylvia wasn’t even taking a breath between questions. Dominating this conversation isn’t going to be easy. “That is my man, girl. I met him when I moved back… you need to come visit so you can meet him.”

“So wait, is that his house and cars and shit? Damn, you’re lucky as fuck. How did you meet that nigga and do he have any friends?” Sylvia asked, as if she was about to hop on the next thing smoking to come and peep the scene.

“You will never guess, but I met him through Davona, basically. She finally straightened up her act. Girl, who would have thought—”

“Whaaat! Go Davona! So give me the details and stop holding back.”

“Wait… before I spill the tea, where is Vallika?”

“In bed with some body’s man, girl who knows,” Sylvia said, and smacked her lips.

Laughing, I said, “Yo’ ass is still crazy as ever.”

I went on and on about how I met Shay and the details of our lives. It felt good to talk to her again. She didn’t even bother to mention any of the drama going on with her. Sylvia couldn’t get enough of my conversation. She said that she wanted to hear about some good things for a change. As we chatted and caught up about life’s events, Sylvia texted me a picture of her little girl. That made me feel like having a baby, but I’m not mommy material right now. I certainly hope that Shay does not plan to have kids anytime soon. I am not about to be stuck sitting in the house with crying, whining ass babies. When the time is right, I will know it. The first sign will probably be the day that I don’t refer to them as whining ass babies.

“So when can I come to visit? I need to come out there and ball out with you.”

“You certainly do. Come out any time you want to. Shay most certainly won’t trip. I’m sure he wants to know as much about me as possible, but it’s your job not to tell him.”

“Girl, you are a mess, but what that man don’t know won’t hurt him. You gotta keep some mystery going on these days, or a nigga get uninterested real quick. I gotchu, girl. I don’t know shit,” Sylvia cackled. “You just make sure you got one of them boss ass niggas lined up for ya girl, low key.”

“You ain’t said nothing but a word. I gotta go get packed for my weekend getaway. I will hit you up soon.”

I
forgot how good it feels to be back around Tico. His beautiful home and fantastic weather; I’m a princess in his home. Tico is my daddy; not my real daddy, but the man that basically took over raising me. Although he lets me live my own life to a certain extent, I could never choose to stop fucking with him. I don’t care, because I love Tico just as much as he loves me. My real dad used to work for Tico’s family. When my dad was killed and my mom got on drugs, Tico took me in. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be.

I walked in to see Tico, and before Tico’s guys could do the usual search, Tico met me at the door. He grabbed and hugged me so tight that I thought I would pop. I love this man so much. I could see the look on his crew’s face when he hugged me before I’d been searched. They act as if I didn’t just use my code to get in the gate. Tico waved his hands in the air and reminded them motherfuckers who I was.

“This is family, what the fuck by is wrong with you muthafuckas? I would die for this girl and you wanna fuckin’ search her like trash on the fuckin’ streets?” Tico went on and on, while his stool pigeons just stood there. Some moved back and out of the way, before Tico could have a chance to get in their asses one on one.

“Teec! I miss you, Daddy!” I said, giving Tico the biggest hug ever.

“Why the fuck haven’t you come to see me by now, my diamond princess?” Tico swooped his hand through the air, signaling for his maid to bring drinks.

“I see you been eating pretty good,” Tico said, while looking me up and down. Tico gave me a big kiss on the forehead. Then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, telling me how bad he wanted to fuck me. Our relationship is complicated, but I wouldn’t have anything if it wasn’t for Tico.