Uptown Girl (26 page)

Kate opened her eyes. She had one of those moments of waking dislocation. Where was she? It wasn't her ceiling, or Michael's. Then she turned her head and saw Billy, still sleeping. The previous day and night and all of its sensual memories flooded back. Kate smiled and felt her cheeks flushing but, unobserved, for once she didn't mind.

While they had slept, her hair had fanned out and now a red tendril was curled around Billy's upper arm. Simply looking at his arm, lying on the sheet, bathed in the sunshine that spread from the window across the upper part of the bed made her feel…extremely happy. It was a feeling she wasn't used to – it combined satisfaction with expectation, as if she were a child and there were two Christmases – she had just had one but was about to have another.

Kate stretched and luxuriated in the feeling. Happiness, this deep joy, was something you could not hold on to and she was wise enough not to
try. She only drank in the sunlight, the clean white sheets rumpled around them, and cherished the moment. She wasn't thinking about the sex, though it had been exquisite. It was simply looking at him, and the feeling of warmth, comfort and protectiveness that started in her chest and radiated through her as she lay there, staring at the hairs so perfectly aligned on his forearm, that was joy.

Slowly, so as not to wake him, she lifted her head to look at his sleeping face. Even without animation, his features had a beauty and liveliness that Kate wondered at. But from their conversation the previous night she felt Billy Nolan was not just another pretty face. After all, in his own way, Steven had been very handsome. But unlike Steven, to Kate's complete surprise, Billy seemed to have a depth of feeling, a compassion and understanding of others that had been blocked in Steven by his narcissism.

As she looked at him, Billy – as if feeling himself observed – opened his eyes. ‘Hello,' he said, his voice dipping somehow in the middle of the word, making it sound like a self-assured and very happy greeting. Kate felt herself blush again and this time it did embarrass her. She fell back on her pillow. Billy raised himself on one elbow, bent over her and kissed her. His kisses were so sensitive, so searching and gentle. That reminded her of the way they had made love, his lips almost never leaving her own – except when he was kissing
some other part of her. He lifted his head.

‘Good morning,' Kate said and tucked the sheet in on either side of her.

‘Now you're my prisoner. Stuck in my bed for life.' Kate thought that that sounded like a delicious idea, but only smiled.

‘What time is it?' Billy asked, then fell back and yawned.

Kate hadn't a clue. She didn't even know what day it was and that also felt delicious. Lying in his bed, she felt suspended in time and if she could have asked for one place and feeling to have for all eternity, this moment would be a good choice. Then she forced herself to turn and look at the clock on the bedside table. ‘Oh, God,' she gasped. ‘It's Friday! And almost nine. I have to call the school!' she told him, and fell back onto the bedclothes in horror. She couldn't go running out of his apartment, scuttling like a bug to gather up her belongings, because she was way too late to get to school. Kate
never
missed work – when she'd had the stomach virus that had torn through the school she'd still managed to come in. And she'd already taken yesterday off. The children had to be able to count on her. But it was the end of the term, a half-day, and she had her reports to write up and the summaries that would go to the administration and the children's parents. She ought to be there, going through her notes, but for once, she was tempted to think of herself first. Mr McKay, on the other hand, would have to be told and he
wouldn't like it. She knew her contract was being considered for renewal right now and it was not a time to screw up. Still, she couldn't leave. Billy was looking at her, his eyebrows raised in question.

‘My job,' she said. ‘I have to make a call.'

He picked his phone up and handed it to her. ‘Feel free,' he said. ‘As long as you don't call another man, my minutes are yours.'

‘He isn't exactly a man, he's a principal,' Kate told him.

‘Well, I'm glad you've got at least one principle,' he said and kissed her again as she was punching in the Andrew number. ‘When you arrived I wasn't sure.' She made a face and pushed him away. He lay down holding a curl of her hair between his fingers and playing with it.

When Vera, Mr McKay's secretary, answered the phone, Kate was relieved. She asked for Mr McKay, but hoped he might not be available so that she could just leave a message.

Unfortunately, Vera put her right through. Kate heard his nasal voice at the other end of the phone. ‘McKay,' he said. ‘Yes?'

‘This is Kate Jameson. I'm very sorry but I won't be able to come in again today.' There was a pause at the other end. It was amazing how powerful silence could be. She wanted to fill it, to blurt out excuses but didn't let herself.

‘Are you ill?' McKay finally asked.

Kate hated to lie. ‘No,' she said, ‘but I have a personal emergency.' She looked over at Billy,
under the sheet and clearly aroused. ‘Something's just come up.' Billy gave her a look. He rolled onto his side and put his arm around her waist. Kate would have smiled but she felt McKay's silent curiosity move like a snake through the telephone lines. Stalwart, she kept silence at her end. She watched Billy, who picked up the ends of her hair and held them to his mouth in a kiss.

‘I'm sorry to hear that,' McKay intoned, and Kate wasn't sure whether the regret she heard was because he thought she had a personal problem or because she wouldn't be in.

‘Because it's half a day, I'll be able to catch up easily. Most of my reports on the children are done.'

They discussed scheduling for a few moments and then Kate, with a sigh of relief, was able to hang up. Billy grinned at her. ‘Playing hookey?' he asked. Kate nodded. ‘I'd like to play something else as well,' he said. ‘And if you don't agree, I'm afraid I'll have to call the truant officer and report you.'

Kate giggled. ‘I'm not in school anymore,' she said.

‘Oh, we'll see about that,' Billy told her.

She supposed if she thought about it, she'd get crazy. After all, here was a man who had slept with half of the women in Brooklyn, including her best friend. The idea did make her a little bit queasy so, like some of her young patients, she compartmentalized – she simply put it in a
mental box that she closed tightly and put aside. It wasn't possible that Billy Nolan could be faking all of these feelings or was it? His vast experience showed in the skill he displayed when they made love. Every touch, every movement felt wonderful, perfect almost. If it got any better it would be frightening. As it was, it was almost spooky. He seemed to know, almost before she did, where to put his hands, how hard to press, where to put his mouth, when to be playful and when to be intense. If she compared his love-making to Michael's – which she was trying with little success not to do, she felt as if Michael was only a sandwich and Billy was a Thanksgiving feast. Kate was grateful. If there was no pumpkin pie, there was plenty of other sweetness to make up for it.

The two of them spent the morning making love. Then Billy made breakfast. He was a good cook, and Kate was hungry. She looked around the sunny living room. ‘This is a really nice place,' she said as she finished the last of her bacon.

Billy laughed. ‘You sound surprised,' he said.

Kate blushed. ‘Have you lived here long?' she asked.

‘My dad moved in when he got sick. Emphysema. He didn't like being alone in our old house after my mom died. He couldn't work as a fireman anymore, so he began working full-time in the bar and I helped him turn this into an apartment.'

‘So you can cook and do carpentry?' Kate asked as she brought the dirty dishes to the sink.

‘Yeah,' he said. He paused and looked away from her. ‘It was fun to work with my dad, but we barely got the place finished before he died.'

‘Was it from the emphysema?' Kate asked.

Billy nodded and grimaced. ‘It's a terrible way to die. Terrible to watch.'

‘I'm sorry,' Kate said.

Billy shrugged and began to scrape a plate. ‘You shouldn't be a fireman and smoke,' he said.

‘My father was a policeman who drank, and you shouldn't do that either,' Kate said.

Billy nodded, filled the sink with hot water and put the dishes in to soak. He looked around. ‘Anyway, I liked this apartment, and when I took over the bar it seemed handy to live here. This place still reminds me of him.' He turned back to the sink and added some dish detergent. Then he wiped his hands on a paper towel and turned back to her. ‘Funny thing,' he said. ‘We just had breakfast but I'm hungry again.' He raised his brows suggestively, put his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. Kate felt herself responding to the pressure behind her and, with his arms still around her waist, they went back to bed.

It was after their matinée and when Billy had gone off to the shower that Kate's cell phone began to ring. She saw that it was Bina and picked it up.

‘Katie? Katie?'

Kate could never get over the fact that Bina believed anyone might answer one's personal cell phone. ‘Yes, of course, it's me,' Kate said.

‘Ohmigod, Katie! He proposed. Just like Elliot said. I couldn't believe it, but Jack proposed.' Kate was flooded with a kind of horror as she remembered – for the first time since she had gotten to Billy's place here in Brooklyn – that she had originally come to facilitate Bina's long-delayed engagement. Was she a selfish or selfless friend?

‘That's great! That's really, really great!'

‘And you won't believe this,' Bina continued. ‘This is how I know Elliot was right. You won't believe it.'

‘Try me,' Kate said, dryly, knowing what was coming. Just then her phone started beeping for a call waiting. She glanced at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number so she let it go to voice mail.

‘Well, I had a message from Billy breaking up with me just in time. And Jack asked me to marry him at nine-o-four, right after the call! I know exactly because the taxi driver had WINS on and they tell you the time almost every minute. And I know the time of Billy's message because my machine…'

‘Congratulations. Or best wishes. Or mazel tov,' Kate said. ‘Your mother must be thrilled, and your father. And me. I'm thrilled for you.'

‘I'm thrilled, too. And the best part is that he apologized for what happened, you know, about him not, well, you know. He said he just panicked. He got frightened and couldn't get the words out.' She paused. ‘Do you think that's true?' she asked Kate.

‘I'm sure that was part of it,' Kate said, remembering his request for exploration. It seemed Bina hadn't forgotten it either.

‘And he said he wanted just a little more time to, well, you know…we've been going out so long and he's never cheated on me, and he just wanted to be sure. I don't blame him for that. Would you?'

‘No.'

‘Yeah, but…' Bina paused, she lowered her voice. ‘But I can't forget what happened. You know, about…well, you can't imagine how fantastic it was with…'

‘I think I can,' Kate said as she glanced over toward the bathroom. ‘Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you tonight.'

Kate had just stepped out of the shower herself when her cell phone rang again. She looked at the caller ID and knew she was in trouble. She thought for a moment that she would just ignore it but she knew Elliot would never give up. ‘Where are you?' he asked without any preamble. ‘You're not here at work and you're not at home. You're out, so you're not sick. Unless you're at the doctor's, are you at the doctor's?'

‘No,' Kate said. ‘And I can't talk right now.' She was self-conscious. She felt Billy listening, even though she wasn't sure that he was.

‘Okay, so where are you?'

‘I'll tell you later,' Kate said, lowering her voice.

‘What?'

‘I'll tell you later.'

‘Oh, God. You're in bed with Steven.'

‘Not exactly,' Kate said.

‘What is that supposed to mean?' Elliot asked. ‘Oh, I knew it. This is really terrible. So you are with Steven.'

‘No.'

Elliot paused, doing the math. ‘But you're in bed with someone else.'

‘Yes, Einstein.'

‘I can't tell you how relieved I am,' Elliot said. ‘At first I was going to call all the hospitals, then, when I thought of Steven, I was going to call all the mental hospitals. But instead of getting neurotic, you just got lucky.'

‘This may not qualify as luck,' Kate said.

‘Well, girlfriend, I want to hear all of the details the minute you get home.'

‘We're coming to a rise. You ready?' Kate nodded. It was hot, and the heat was already radiating up from the macadam they were skimming over. Kate had roller-bladed before, but had never felt really secure. Now everything seemed easy. In the week in which she had spent every free moment with Billy, she had had a strange and varied array of feelings. The weekend had been deliciously idle. After work the next day he had made her dinner. She stayed at his place but the following evening – traditionally a slow night – he had come to her house and they ate take-out pizza and one of her great salads. She had seen Elliot at school but had ducked him, her friend Rita, and the entire Brooklyn cadre. Now, on a warm afternoon, the two of them had ‘come out' though not in the Elliot and Brice sense of the word. She had been hesitant to roller-blade but Billy, a surprisingly good and patient teacher, had coached her until she felt where her center of gravity was and was
confident enough to lean into her strokes. But the fun was doing it with Billy. They were roller-blading in Prospect Park, their hands intertwined behind their backs. Billy held her with the gentlest pressure, but his support gave her confidence. He warned her of every hill and curve before it came up and tightened his grip when they swooped down an incline. It was exhilarating. Kate believed their skating was almost as sensual as their sex.

‘You skate so well,' Kate murmured as they glided into the tree-shaded part of the road.

‘Six years on the hockey team and only one chipped tooth to show for it,' Billy told her. Kate looked up and smiled at him. She had wondered about the tooth. It was the imperfection that made the rest of his perfection bearable. She thought of a Brad Pitt film where he had played a boxer. Special makeup had transformed his nose and given it a broken jauntiness. Kate had read somewhere that more women found him attractive in that movie than any other. ‘I like that chipped tooth,' was all Kate said and then felt his arm push her slightly. She thought for a moment it was a reaction to her compliment, but ‘Eyes forward,' Billy said as he avoided a stumbling skater and then moved Kate smoothly through a crowd of children crossing the road ahead of them. Out of the shaded alley, the sun beat down fiercely, but their gathering speed created a pleasant breeze. Once they were on the flat open stretch, they really began to move.

‘I can see you've had a lot of practice,' she noted
while she kept her face forward as instructed.

‘Hey,' Billy said, ‘you're no virgin yourself.'

‘I wasn't any good,' she told him truthfully. ‘It's because of you.'

Everything was different because of him. It had been just over a week since Jack's return and Kate's morning visit to Billy's, but they had seen each other every night since and spent the two weekends together. Kate was amazed by a lot of the things that they shared. It wasn't only the French. He had also lost his mother early, although he never spoke about her death. He had spent his teenage years being raised by his father. They were both only children, and both orphans.

Kate had to admit she had been prejudiced about him; he wasn't a dunce, and he didn't just get by on his good looks. In fact, if she could put aside his appalling record of conquests, he was the most compatible male companion she had ever spent time with. Kate's work for the semester was ending, and, with more time for shopping and cooking, she found that she enjoyed having Billy to her place for little dinners.

When it was Billy's turn to close the bar, she went to his place early, and worked or read until he was through. He'd come up intermittently for quick kisses, usually bringing a treat or a drink. On nights he got off early, he made the trip to Manhattan, driving into what he referred to as ‘the City'. Kate remembered when she used to call Manhattan that and it made her smile every time he said it.

‘Another hill,' Billy told her now. ‘Let's put our backs into it.' Kate did. It wasn't just his skating that was impressive. There was almost nothing about Billy Nolan that Kate was not impressed by. He wasn't at all what she had thought; he didn't seem glib, or shallow, or arrogant. Not once you knew him. And his affection for her seemed so warm and real. Could he be acting? Kate hated to doubt him.

He seemed so sensitive, not only to his own vulnerabilities – as Steven had been – but also to the feelings of others.

The only thing that clouded her feelings was the nagging thought of the host of women he had previously conquered. Kate, in the time she spent away from him, sometimes wondered if all the women he had known had felt like this and – more importantly – if he had felt just the same about them as he seemed to feel about her. It was hardly the kind of question you could ask, and even if you did, it was not the kind of question that could be answered honestly.

They crested the hill and the long slide down actually made Kate scream, partly with pleasure and partly with fear. Not so different from the way she felt about this relationship. At the bottom of the hill, Billy released one of her hands and coasted over to a bench beside an ice cream vendor. Just behind them was a field for roller-hockey and beyond it a park exit. Kate was grateful for the sit-down. ‘I'm exhausted,' she admitted.

‘So am I,' Billy told her though she doubted that
was true. There didn't seem to be an ounce of body fat on him, and Kate knew that under his clothes he was lean and powerful without any extra bulk. Thinking of his body gave her a momentary frisson. ‘Thirsty?' Billy asked and she nodded. ‘Let's go.' They took off their skates, put on their shoes, and bundled their gear into his backpack.

They were just leaving the park when her cell phone rang. She pulled it out and saw that it was Elliot. For the last week she had been ducking his calls when she could and had been equally evasive when she saw him at school. She had talked about Bina's engagement, the shower they were going to throw for her, Elliot and Brice's plans for the summer; everything but the identity of her new boyfriend. She hadn't wanted to lie to him but she knew how strongly he would disapprove of the truth.

‘Are you going to pick it up? Or is it another boyfriend?' Billy asked. Just then the phone stopped ringing.

‘He's a boy, and he's a friend, but he's gay,' Kate told Billy. ‘Does that count?'

Kate and Billy made their way to Jo's Sweet Shop for some ice cream. It was an institution, the old-time confectionary where parents brought their kids for hot chocolate after winter skating and where the sundaes were enormous and good. Kate had always envied the kids who got taken to Jo's. A game broke and behind them an after-the-skating/roller-hockey crowd complete with blades,
skates, and Prospect Park parents swarmed in to get drinks and ice cream to cool off. With the usual bullying, the bigger kids elbowed the smaller, some parents pushed ahead of other parents, and chaos reigned. Billy and Kate, buoyed forward on the tide of people, watched as a seven- or eight-year-old boy was virtually trampled. He began to cry.

‘Oh, God!' Kate cried. She worked her way over to him, knelt and put her arm around him. ‘Oh, sweetie. Are you hurt?' she asked. It was so pleasant not to have to be professional with him.

‘He stepped on me!' the boy exclaimed, pointing upward. Kate looked up at a big hulk of a teen hockey guy still in his gear. From her (and the little boy's) low point of view the guy looked like a giant. But Billy grabbed him by the back of his hockey shirt and tugged him away.

‘See? He's gone now.' Kate comforted the child.

People began screaming their orders. ‘Two cookies and cream sugar cones with sprinkles!'

‘A vanilla Coke!'

‘Three large chocolate cones and an ice tea!'

The shouted orders were almost drowned by the kids' excited yelling and by loud complaints about people pushing ahead and whose turn it was. The adolescent working behind the counter was clearly overwhelmed by the crowd. Kate reunited her little boy with his dad while the poor soda jerk tried and failed to gain control. With more park-goers pushing in from the back, those in the front got even more rowdy. ‘Please form a line!' the
teen shouted desperately. No one was listening.

Billy returned to Kate's side. He stood her at the entrance to the workspace behind the counter. ‘This is madness,' he said. Then he leapt over the counter and moved to the center, facing out to the crowd.

‘All right,' Billy began in a voice loud enough to be heard not only throughout Jo's, but all the way into the park. ‘All right now! Kids with hockey sticks on the left. Kids with skates on the right.'

There was silence for a moment and then pushing and shoving began as the crowd tried to part.

‘KEEP IT DOWN! I MEAN IT!'

As if he were Moses and the crowd was the Red Sea, his will was done. Kate smiled as the two lines formed. Billy leaned toward the poor, overwhelmed kid in the apron. ‘You take the so-called adults and I'll do the Mighty Ducks.'

The teen nodded and began taking orders from the line on the right. Billy looked at the children and gestured to the eight-year-old who had been crying. ‘Service first to the player who was body checked.'

His dad brought the little boy up to the counter. Kate couldn't help but glow. Billy leaned to the little boy. ‘What position do you play?' he asked him.

‘Goalie,' he replied, and looked at his father as if he wasn't completely sure.

‘Your lucky day!' Billy exclaimed. ‘Goalies get free cones! Wanna double scoop?'

The teenager behind the counter gave him a look of ‘no way'. Billy ignored him, took out his wallet and placed it beside the ice cream tubs. ‘What's it
gonna be?' The little boy asked for a vanilla cone with sprinkles and hooted with joy when he saw the double dipping he received. Billy moved to the next in the line.

‘What's it gonna be?' he asked.

‘A cup of chocolate with nuts and whip cream,' the next kid said.

‘You got it. And it's on me.' Billy sprayed some of the aerosol cream on his shirt. ‘Get it? It's on me.'

The portion of the crowd that was up front laughed. Kate watched Billy with a combination of astonishment, awe and delight. When he took his next order, he smiled at the kid. ‘Position?' Billy asked him.

‘Guard,' the boy said proudly.

‘Whoa!' Billy pretended to be taken aback. ‘Guards get free toppings.'

‘Wow!' the boy cried. ‘Hey, Mom! I get a free topping.'

Billy leaned over to Kate and gave her a quick kiss right below the ear.

‘What do I get?' she asked him coyly.

Billy was already busy making up a cone, but he looked up at her.

‘Depends on what position you play,' Billy said and smiled.

The thing about him, Kate thought, was that he knew the way things worked. He wasn't a macho guy, but he was strong enough and confident enough to be willing to take chances.

When the manager of the shop came from the back, leaving the booths and table behind, he took over from Billy. Thanking him, he insisted on giving Billy and Kate free cones. They were ridiculously large; Kate thought they each had four scoops, but Billy's might have been five. As they finally made their way out of the sweet shop, Kate looked at Billy. ‘That was quite a scene, Mr Nolan,' she said. ‘You're a take-charge kinda guy.'

‘Hey, not much to expect from a bartender who's dealt with bachelor parties,' Billy said.

‘Well, you really managed that crowd.'

Billy looked down at his cone, melting over his hand in the heat. ‘Yeah. If only I could manage my own ice cream.'

‘Okay. This I know how to do,' Kate said and moved him over to a trash bin. She knocked two scoops off his cone and into the bin, did the same with her own, pulled a wet-nap out of her pocket, wiped his hand and then, with her finger, the last trace of whipped cream from his neck.

‘Hey, no fair,' Billy said. ‘That was mine.' Kate just smiled and put her cream-covered finger in her mouth. Billy gently took her hand and put her finger into his own mouth. Then he gently pushed her against the wall of the sweet shop and, keeping her left hand in his, lifted his arm and leaned into the wall, pressing his weight against her. Kate thought of Victorian heroines and how they ‘swooned'. She was feeling pretty swoony.

‘What do you call this position?' he asked her, his voice low.

At that moment the door of Jo's opened and a bunch of kids streamed out. When a couple of them saw Billy they began making an incredible noise.

‘Exhibitionists,' Kate told him and smiled.

On the subway, the unruly park crowd pushed as the train doors opened. Kate was about to be crushed against a pole until Billy corralled her, placing her in the corner of the car against the front window. He protected her with his body but the intense crowding had the two of them pushed against one another. She was shocked when his hands disappeared under the back of the waistband of her jeans. He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. ‘What do you call this position?'

‘Tight. Very tight,' she said.

Back at Kate's apartment, Billy slowly undressed her. She was surprised and touched by his tenderness: he took off her sandals as if she were a very young child. But as he worked his way up she felt that he considered her grown-up by the time he had unbuttoned her blouse. Then he was on top of her, kissing her neck and making his way to her breasts. He took each of her hands in his and held them beside her face on the pillow. He stopped to look at her. ‘And what do you call this position?'

‘Perfect,' Kate whispered.