Unveiling The Sky (22 page)

“That’s why.”

“Huh?” I asked. My eyebrows knitted together as I shrugged off his hand.

He laughed. “I can actually
feel
the guy boring holes into my back.”

“How is pissing him off supposed to help?”
 

Chad opened his mouth to reply, but I held up my hand.
 

“Forget it. I need a drink.” I walked into the kitchen and made a beeline for Naomi, grabbing the shot in her hand and quickly knocking it back.
 

She looked from her empty hand to the drained glass in mine. “Here, Alara, take mine,” she said sarcastically before grabbing another.

“Did you know Sherry was inviting Chad?”

“Nope. What was the goal there?”

“I think to make Gabe jealous.”

Naomi appeared contemplative as I reached for another drink, the shot coursed down my throat, leaving a burning trail. “It’s not the
worst
plan in the world,” my best friend said distractedly.

“Why would
he
need to be the one who’s jealous? He’s already sure. I’m the dumbo here!” I shrieked as I picked up another drink. Naomi put her hand over mine, halting my progress, and I looked over to find her frowning.

“Alara. You’ve been drinking a lot lately. And your meds—”

“I already told you. The doctor said it’d be better to have a few drinks than to stop taking them.”

“Yes, but I’m sure she didn’t mean for it to become a regular thing.”

“It won’t.”

“You’ve already done this twice in the past month. That’s a lot for you and—”

“Please,” I begged. “Just tonight. I promise. Nothing bad has happened the last few times, remember? I drank and didn’t have any kind of emotional breakdown.”

Naomi worried her bottom lip as she lifted her hand from mine. “I know. I just… I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay. I know, just… just give me tonight. And I promise no more for a while.” With a reluctant nod, Naomi agreed. And within half an hour, I was well on my way to plastered, a fact that had Naomi’s worry returning.

“Are you nervous because Gabe’s here and has yet to talk to you?” she asked, trying to ignore her bigger concern.

“Of course not.”

Why the hell would I care? He asked me out. I said no. End of story,
my brain said.

I growled (in my head, of course; I’m not that crazy).
Right… Then why did yesterday hurt so much? Why does the fact that he’s talked to almost
every
other person here hurt so much?
my heart asked.

Well…

I internally groaned at how insane I was being. I just needed to stop overthinking everything. But that was easier said than done. I always thought too much and too often, and even though it never did me any good, I couldn’t seem to stop. But I guess thinking too much about
not
thinking too much was equally problematic.
Oh, I have a headache.

“You sure?” Naomi’s question broke through my drunken inner rambling.

“Yep,” I replied, emphasizing the
p
with a pop. I looked over at Gabe and crossed my arms over my chest. I was pouting, because
clearly
, I was an adult. Naomi took a sip of her beer and raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Fine,” I mumbled. “ItsbecauseGabe’shereandhasn’ttalkedtome.”

“I’m sorry, what?” She held a hand to her ear and leaned closer. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said it’s because Gabe’s here and he hasn’t talked to me.’”

With an arrogant nod, she said, “That’s what I thought.”

“Whatever.” I glared at her before turning toward Gabe as he chatted with one of Sherry’s friends. “He’s an ass, and I hate him.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Why is she even talking to him? He’s ugly and stupid.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“Coming here was stupid. I never want to see him again.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Ughhh…” I whined and threw my head back against the cabinet. It bounced off, and I winced as I rubbed the spot and turned to glare at the wood accusingly.

“Is that cabinet an ass who’s ugly and stupid, too?” Naomi could barely conceal her smile behind her beer bottle.

“I have to pee.” I staggered away and luckily made my way to a bathroom that only had a line of two people.

After quickly taking care of business and checking my blurry face in the mirror, I walked out of the bathroom and right into Gabe. “We need to talk.” Gabe’s expression radiated pure fury as he firmly grabbed my arm and pushed me back into the bathroom.

“Hey!” I protested as I shook off his hold.

“Who’s that guy out there?” he asked in a gruff voice.

I rolled my eyes. Apparently, Chad’s plan had worked, even if he’d only been in my presence for three minutes. “Chad. He’s a friend.”

He smirked, his eyes turning cold. “A friend who’s been asking you out for months?”

“How the…?” I dropped my head to my chest and whispered, “Sherry.”

“Yeah, she imparted that little bit of knowledge to me. So let me get this straight. You actually used the whole it’s-not-you-it’s-me bullshit, which I was stupid enough to believe, and two weeks later you’re out with another guy?” He shook his head in disbelief as his expression warred between hurt and anger.

I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists at my sides, feeling much more sober than I had ten minutes ago. Evidently, irrational anger helps metabolize alcohol. Who knew? “Coming from the guy who was out to lunch yesterday with another girl and has flirted with at least a dozen tonight.” He opened his mouth to respond, but I kept talking. “And according to you, you and I are just
friends
. So how I feel about Chad shouldn’t matter one damn bit.”
 

“Are you insane? What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t you.” He waved his hand up and down in front of me. “You’re not the girl who drags around some guy you’re not even interested in just to make someone else jealous. You’re not—” He cut himself off and swore as his eyes closed and he tried to control his breathing.

I looked down, trying to rein in my own anger.

I felt his finger slide under my chin, and he gently pushed up until we made eye contact. His voice was softer when he spoke again. “This isn’t you.” His gaze brushed over my clothes, but instead of the lust from earlier, there was sadness. “You’re not the girl who wears tight dresses and loads of makeup.”

My cheeks flamed and my throat burned as I stepped out of his grasp and hit the door. Tears threatening, I looked down at the person I was pretending to be, feeling like a fool. My eyelids instinctively closed as the first tears fell. I knew I looked ridiculous, but I guess part of me had thought it was all in my head. Part of me thought I could still look like what he might want. And part of me thought I could hide behind the fact that it was Halloween.

After seeing Miranda, I took a hard look at myself and wondered why the hell he’d even asked me out. My long blonde hair and green eyes were complete opposites of her pixie brown hair and chocolate irises. I knew I wasn’t ugly, but when I looked at my closet earlier, I realized how
plain
I was compared to her.

A humorless laugh escaped as I thought of her A-line floral dress and nude heels—and how I thought Naomi’s strapless bright-blue dress would somehow compare. The length wasn’t completely indecent, but it definitely wasn’t me.

I looked up at Gabe with a sad smile, the fight completely drained out of me. “Yeah, I guess I look pretty ridiculous.” My voice sounded tired and almost lifeless without the anger it held a few moments ago.

I shrugged and looked down again, trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat. My hands came up to wipe away tears, and when I pulled them away, I noticed some of my makeup had been smeared off. I’d completely forgotten about it because, like he said, I wasn’t this girl.

“Hey.” Gabe’s voice was harsh as he grabbed my chin and forced it up once more. I looked over his face, noting his drawn eyebrows and frown before finally meeting his eyes. When he spoke again, his voice was soft and his face morphed into understanding. “You look beautiful, Alara.”

My breath froze in my throat as his words sank in, and I couldn’t help but smile.

He smiled briefly in return before turning somber once more. “But I can tell you’re uncomfortable, and it makes me sad that you think you’re not beautiful all the time. That you think you need to borrow Naomi’s clothes and makeup.” His fingers trailed down my temple until they met the other hand already on my chin. “You keep trying to be different, and to what end? What are you hoping to gain? I’ve only been in your life for a short period of time and already I’ve seen all the amazing people you have. Naomi, Sherry, Derek… they love you like a sister. They would do anything for you. And I…” He trailed off and glanced down at my lips.

I instinctively licked them and watched his breath catch at the action. “You what?” I whispered.

His eyes returned to mine and he looked at me for a few long, torturous moments before speaking. I knew he wasn’t going to say what he’d been thinking moments before, but as he continued to gaze down at me, I realized I might not have been able to handle it anyway. “I only said we were friends because I didn’t know what else to say.”

I groaned and let my head fall forward. I was an idiot. A stupid, moronic idiot.
I didn’t want a relationship, but then I get annoyed when he calls me a friend.

He must have known what I was thinking, because he gave me a small, knowing smile when I lifted my head. “Besides, the truth is far more complicated.” He paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “The truth is… you’re the girl I can’t stop thinking about. The girl I want to ask on dates and kiss whenever I want. The girl I want to trust with my secrets in exchange for her own. The girl I’d give anything to introduce my mother to.” His voice broke at the mention of his mother, and I felt my doubts shrinking.
 

“I want to know how you lost your first tooth and what your favorite cartoon was. I want to know what your favorite flowers are so I can bring them to you when you’re sad and what your favorite candy is for when I piss you off.” We laughed as he shook his head and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “I want to be your New Year’s kiss and the guy you tell your friends about. I want… I just want everything with you.”

I let out a long breath and finally felt my body relax. “Yeah, friend was probably easier.”

“Maybe there was also a small, petty part of me that wanted to make you jealous. I never know what you’re thinking, and I just wanted to see if I mattered. But I
never
meant to make you feel inferior. I’m sorry.” He reached up and ran his hand through my hair, causing a shiver to rack my body.

“No, I’m sorry. You asked me out, and I said no. What did I expect you to say? God, I’m so stupid. I want to punch myself in the face.” He laughed, but I kept going. “But I wasn’t trying to make you jealous either. Sherry invited Chad.” I paused and tried to draw back some of my liquid courage. “I… uhm, changed my mind. About dating you. Or, uh, just going on a date with you.”

“You did, huh?”

I nodded and licked my suddenly dry lips.
 

We stood in silence and stared at each other as a kind of electricity buzzed around us. Slowly, so slowly I thought I might pass out from anticipation, he lowered his mouth until it was only an inch from mine. I could already taste the beer on his breath and feel the warmth from his lips as he hovered there.
 

A thought occurred to me, and just before he made contact, I scooted back. “Maybe we should wait for a better moment. Like when we’re not in a bathroom that’s been the destination for party quickies and drunken-induced vomit.”

His grin was almost blinding. “All the moment really needs is the two of us.”
 

As if on cue, banging started on the door, and a shrill female voice yelled, “Hurry up! I can’t throw up in another purse.”

Gabe and I laughed as he grabbed my hand and opened the door to a long line of angry partygoers. He leaned down toward my ear and whispered, “Don’t worry. I’m sure we can find another place.” He pulled back with a smirk. “Maybe a landfill?”

I laughed even harder as we walked down the hall. “Yup. That’s what dreams are made of.”

Alara and I were inseparable for the rest of the party. Even though Naomi and Alara were staying at Sherry’s once the party wrapped up, Alara only had water for the rest of the night. The two beers I drank had zero impact on me. But I’m pretty sure I could have drunk an entire bottle of tequila and I still would have sobered up the second I stepped outside. That’s how nervous I was. It was just after two in the morning when Alara walked me out to my car, and I was determined to make a “better moment” before I left for the night.
 

“Naomi seemed especially excited tonight.”

She nodded as we stepped out the front door. “Yeah, she just finished sending out all her law school applications. I think she’s ready to let loose a little.” Alara tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “She’s worked really hard these last few years, and she knows how much work law school will be… and she’ll totally commit once she’s there. Naomi’s the most disciplined person I know. But I think right now she just wants to make sure she experiences everything she can, you know?”