Unsound: A Horizons Book (6 page)

"That seems awfully soon," she admitted out loud.

"Why doesn't Julie watch someone go first," Lena suggested.

"Fine. But once you start doing it, it's really fun,
trust
me," Jeff said with a wink as he walked away towards the course.

Our group worked well together as a team. Julie watched from a distance as Anthony climbed to the highest platform, which was about five feet off the ground. Tony loved trust falls; he always talked about wanting to skydive and bungee jump. He was a total adrenaline junkie so he was a good person for Julie to watch. The rest of us got in position to catch Anthony on his plummet to the ground.

"Come on, Julie," Jeff coaxed, "You belong to these guys now, and they need to learn to trust you as much as you need to trust them."

Reluctantly, Julie walked over to us and we showed her what to do, how to hold her arms, and the prompts we each had to say.

"Is this gonna hurt?" Julie asked. Everyone laughed and I saw a flush form on her cheeks.
God, she's adorable
, I thought again before I could stop myself.

We said the prompts and Tony fell with a cheer. He really got a sick enjoyment from trust falls. I think he would do it with complete strangers just for the thrill.

I looked at Julie—her eyes were big and she still seemed nervous.

"That was your trial Julie," Jeff said, "you're up now."

Julie nodded and I could almost see the determination take over her features as she willed the fear away. I wondered how Julie had such a handle on her emotions; she was able to temper them down so easily. I always thought I had a good control over my emotions but seeing how quickly Julie built her walls up, she was a pro. It only intrigued me more.
What happened to this girl that she had to build such strong defenses?

Julie

Finally, I was expected to get up there. I didn't have to fall from the topmost platform, but I didn't like the idea of falling at all.
Trust fall—what a load of bull
.

Trusting people was how you got hurt, in my philosophy on life.

Heights were also how you got hurt… so I imagined. I couldn't understand how falling from any height would allow me to heal. Logically it was a surefire way to get hurt.

"We'll stay here as long as you need to do this. But we are not leaving until you fall. You need to trust someone other than yourself. This is your new family. You can trust them. They won't let you fall. They will be there to catch you."

It was moments like this that I hated being the center of attention. I wasn't exactly ready to declare my trust for my group mates. But I needed to make some kind of statement here. I didn't want them to know how scared I was—that made me too vulnerable. So I did the only thing I could do.

I closed my eyes and let my body fall backwards. There was a buzzing in my ears that sounded like a siren. It felt like an eternity as my body dropped through nothingness. My mind was going at a thousand rams per second as I fell and I realized, these people were my only hope. If they chose not to catch me, I couldn't save myself. Sure I was being dramatic, it was only a foot, but I didn't care.

I landed on a net of arms and I knew the siren was actually my scream. I looked up at my group members who were looking down with smiles on their faces.

And I laughed.

That's when I let go of the sadness I felt about being abandoned by my family. That's when I decided to accept where I was and not hold this chip on my shoulder forever.

I slept for ten hours that night without waking.

Chapter Two

“the brightest flame casts the darkest shadow”

Julie

“No… I’m going to the nursing home Thursday afternoon. If you meet me there, we can spend a little time together? Can you get off work for a couple hours? Around two? I’ll be able to take a break by then….”

Michelle paused, listening to the other end of the phone.

“Please? I really miss you. Can’t you just ask to take off for a little bit around two? It’s the only way I’ll be able to see you this week….” She paused again, listening.

“I’m sorry, but you know that I don’t have a choice,” pause, “I don’t want it to be like this either, but just a little while longer—” pause, “please? For me?” pause, “I don’t want to fight about this.”

It was obvious that Michelle had had this conversation before. There was another long pause before her whole face lit up as a smile broke across it, “Thank you, I love you…. Can’t wait.”

She hung up slowly. As if saying goodbye to the person on the other end of the phone was something increasingly difficult for her. Michelle turned around to see me standing there, leaning on the stair railing.

Michelle’s smile slowly disappeared as her eyes widened, “How much did you hear?”

“Not enough, I still don’t know who you’re meeting at the nursing home around two. So,” I said lowering my voice and smiling conspiratorially, “who
are
you meeting at the nursing home?”

Michelle hesitated. I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know me. But I could tell from her eyes that having this secret was really hard on her. She was such a goody-two-shoes and I could tell that the constant deception to Jeff set her on edge.

“Listen, I know you don’t really know me. But I’m not a rat,” I urged, “Honest. I wouldn’t tell anyone. I just wanna know the dirt!”

Michelle laughed and I saw her shoulders relax.

“God, I don’t know where to start,” she began as I settled in an armchair across from her.

“Well, his name is Evan…” Michelle started quietly, “I met him right before he started at the Academy. He was just 19-years-old and had graduated with an associate’s degree early. He was going to start his hours at the Academy in the fall, but decided to volunteer that summer… you know, in the meantime to keep busy.”

Something clicked.

“
Deputy
Evan?” I asked, eyes wide. Michelle nodded, biting her bottom lip.

“I had been here for a couple of months and I still did not want to be here. I was trying to get out every chance I got, which is how I started at the home. I thought that every chance away from here would be one step closer to freedom. The day I tried to run from the home, he stopped me, brought me back, and talked to me.

“He told me the same thing you just did, that he wouldn’t rat on me,” Michelle added with a chuckle, “But I better not run again, unless he was working. He mysteriously had the same schedule as me after that. We started with small talk. I was pretty standoffish at first, but eventually he started to confide in me. He tricked me into trusting him,” Michelle laughed again.

“Once I started to open up to him, that was it. He was it. He helped me want to stay to get better. He kind of gave me a reason to want to change my life. He’s a great guy. I was obviously really young when we met. But, I don’t know. There’s something special between us. He really made me see the kind of person I could be. The person he saw me to be.”

“Wow,” I said with a smirk, “I thought you were such a good girl. I’m impressed!”

“Jeff loves him. But I’m so scared of him finding out. I’ve been telling Evan to be patient for me. Finally we had an agreement, that when I turn eighteen, I would tell Jeff. It’s only a couple months away but I don’t think I’ll be able to. I’m scared of disappointing him. And I’m scared of him not letting us see each other.

“I hate sneaking around though. It’s taking a toll on us, a toll on him. He just wants to be normal and have a normal girlfriend,” Michelle said, a worried look in her eye.

“Normal is overrated,” I told her. I didn’t know the right thing to say. I would have been worried too.

“I guess,” Michelle said, “well, I assume you want the phone. I’m going to go pick out an outfit for the nursing home. You know… my nicest t-shirt and jeans,” she said with a laugh.

I said bye, and waited for Michelle to make it down the stairs before picking up the receiver. I dialed the number by heart—then felt mine drop when I heard the recording.

“
This number has been disconnected. Please hang up and try your call again.”

I slowly lowered the phone into its cradle and sat back. I was worried. The number being disconnected could mean a number of different things, and none of them seemed promising.

Jason

The group was sitting outside enjoying the sun and a free period. Jeff came up to the table as a car pulled into the lot from the trail. Lena was over there, waiting to greet whomever was in the car.

“Hey guys,” Jeff greeted us, taking our attention off the car, “good news!”

“New member,” Jon and I said together. Where Jon’s comment sounded more like a dejected question, mine was a clear exclamation.
Who didn’t love a new member?

At the sound of the trunk slamming, we looked back over to the parking lot. We saw a girl standing next to the car, not smiling at Lena as she introduced herself.

Despite the heat of a rapidly approaching summer, the girl was covered head-to-toe in black. She was wearing a black leather jacket over a black blouse, a short black skirt, ripped black tights, and tall black high-heeled boots. Her pale face was half hidden behind large, dark sunglasses and framed with shoulder-length black hair. Something about her screamed familiarity.

“This will be interesting,” Julie said with a laugh.

“Julie,” Jeff said warningly. 

“What?” she said innocently, “I’m sure goth chick over there will really add something special to our happy little family.”

Jeff just shook his head and ignored her. I was impressed because I think she was wearing him down, “Alright guys, I have to go over and meet her.”

“What’s her name?” I piped up. I had a curious feeling in my gut. Something was off.

“Melinda,” Jeff answered over his shoulder, already walking towards his office.

“Hmm,” I said, scratching my head. My stomach clenched in excitement at hearing the name, “can’t be,” I muttered under my breath. I watched her walk in the opposite direction towards Jeff’s office.

“Cat got your tongue?” Julie commented. I looked over to see her smirk. Her eyes looked like they knew something. She was always watching and she always seemed to know more. If she wasn’t so hot, it would be creepy.

“Get outta here, Thompson,” I told her with a wink and a laugh.

Melinda
Mindy Davies

I was in Jeff’s office. I had just arrived but my mother was waiting in the car. I could see her through the window. I could see her drinking deeply from a travel mug. The idea of dropping her daughter off in a rehabilitation center was clearly a little more than she could bear. I knew there was a heavy poor of Kahlua in that coffee—save the whiskey for later so no one could smell it.

“Okay Melinda,” Jeff started, “First, I want us to discuss your reasons for being here. From the police report, I see you attacked your father by–”

“For the thousandth time, that was self-defense,” I interrupted. Everyone kept making me feel like I was a wanted criminal, “And I prefer Mindy.”

“Mindy, I’m not trying to accuse you. I read the police report so I just have the facts offered by the station. I know that your father’s b.a.c. was extremely high, so was your mother’s. But the police report mentioned blood on you. I know you were checked out in the E.R. which led to a psychiatric evaluation.”

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly. I thought I met with the shrink because I had just shoved my father down a tall flight of marble stairs. I didn’t think she found some underlying issues within me. We didn’t even talk that much.

“Mindy,” Jeff started, “When the psychologist spoke to you, she thought you could benefit from being away from your parents.”

“I’m sure my mom jumped at that suggestion. She’s wanted to send me to boarding school for years,” I mumbled. I actually thought that’s why I was sent here; my mother wanted me out of her hair and away from her beloved husband.

“I’m sure your mother just wants what is best for you, Mindy,” Jeff consoled. I rolled my eyes. He didn’t know my mother. My mother who was sitting in the car sipping an Irish coffee rather than sitting next to me before saying goodbye.

“So, what’s the deal with this place?” I asked. My mother wasn’t one to give me details. I really didn’t know the deal, didn’t know what I had been dragged into.

Honestly, the second I saw my father lose balance over the top step, I knew I would be sent away. I just didn’t know where. Jeff seemed nice and all, but I was confused.

“I take it your mother didn’t explain much,” Jeff started, he seemed tense, “We offer rehabilitation for at-risk youths. This is sort of an emotional growth boarding school. We handle substance addictions, depression, eating disorders… uh, self-mutilation. The psychologist you met with suggested it to your mother. She could tell there was a tumultuous relationship between you and your parents.”

I snorted, “Was it that obvious when I pushed my dad down the stairs?”

“That wasn’t what tipped her off. The doctors in the emergency room noticed scars on you. Your wrists, your thighs. After meeting with you, Dr. Rosen’s evaluation was that you might benefit from a group setting. From what you and she discussed, you didn’t have any peer relationships. I’m not passing any judgments, but I think you were trapped in your own personal hell with your parents. That’s a big burden to bear.”

I nodded slowly, not really knowing how to answer. I didn’t know they saw the scars at the hospital. They didn’t say anything to me about it. We were there for one night and then I was immediately shipped off to a rehab school, “wait. But what am I rehabbing here?”

“Dr. Rosen thinks you suffer from depression. You’ve been self-mutilating yourself, Mindy. That’s something we’re worried about,” Jeff explained. I continued to nod. I nodded my understanding when he explained about my group and my classes and my living situation. He let me know in no uncertain terms, that I would not be alone here. Also, that I would have very little contact from my parents for the first part of my treatment.

That part almost cheered me up. Then Jeff said my mother was coming in to go over some paperwork and say her goodbye. Too soon to be cheerful.

*  *  *

“Hi, Mrs. Davies. Thank you for staying. I just wanted to go over protocol with you,” Jeff said as my mother walked into the room. He stood to shake her hand, which she dutifully ignored and clumsily sat in the seat next to mine.

“I just went over the basics with Mindy,” Jeff began.

“Melinda. Her name is Melinda. Melinda is a family name,” my mother said sharply, despite the amount of booze that was pumping through her. It always bugged her that I refused to answer to my full name. I think that’s why I detested it so much.

“I explained about our facility to… Mindy,” Jeff faltered for a beat before saying my preferred name, earning a small smile from me, “it seems that she had no idea what kind of place this was. It seems like she was going through a tough time at home and didn’t really have anyone to reach out to.”

“I don’t really appreciate your tone or your insinuations. In fact, I’m not sure I understand where you get off talking to me like that, like it’s my fault that my daughter is a criminal. She’s lucky that we decided not to press charges and throw her ass in jail.”

The icy words leaving my mother’s mouth took the smile off of mine. I wish I had my notebook, a book, my headphones. Anything to drown out reality.

“I wasn’t implying anything,” Jeff said, taken aback. The wrath of Karen Davies was a lot to handle when you were unprepared, “I’m just wondering though if there was something else going on for Mindy to…” Jeff trailed off, but continued with a small eye roll, “
attack
her father and push him down the stairs?”

“You’re asking me? You’re the professional here. Isn’t it clear that this little demon child is crazy? I’m paying a good deal of money to send her here and I don’t like being accused.”

I rolled my eyes. She was really pulling out the big guns on this fight.

I was relieved to hear a knock on the doorframe as Lena popped her head in. She looked at Jeff and he nodded.

“Melinda? You can come with me,” she said, looking at me.

“Mindy,” I muttered as I stood up without even a glance at my mother. I knew her look was as venomous as her tone.

I followed Lena down the hall, my skirt billowing slightly behind me. As I entered a room at the end of the hall, I saw that my bags were sitting on the table, opened.

“Sorry Mindy, but we need to check everyone’s belongings upon their check-in,” Lena started, a hint of nervousness in her tone. “We also wanted to make sure you had enough… appropriate clothing. We do a lot of outdoor activities you know.”