Unsound: A Horizons Book (2 page)

"Or any girl," I added; everyone snickered harder.

It was always exciting to get a new member in the group, but also a little intimidating. The Mountain Climbers, well, we were a family. A dysfunctional, issue-ridden, group-therapy-having, horny, lonely, sad, but content-being-around-each-other family. You never knew how a new person would change the dynamic, what they would add or what they would try to take away.

*  *   *

Later that afternoon, we sat in the common room, hoping no one would realize we didn't currently have a leader and therefore no class schedule or real work since Janice left. The anticipation of the new student charged the air.

"Hey, look, it's Sheriff Frankel and Evan..." Michelle nodded towards the window. We all turned as the cop car slowed to a stop outside the main entrance. Jeff walked outside to greet the Sheriff as he got out of the car. Deputy Evan got out the passenger side and opened the trunk, taking out a large suitcase and a duffel bag.

Cops dropping a student off meant different things. I myself had arrived in the back of a squad car. It wasn't necessarily a bad omen, but sometimes it makes us judge the situation prematurely. It happens—we're human. Personally, I was only thinking about Michelle dropping
Deputy
Evan's title. I filed that thought to ask her later.

Sheriff Frankel moved to open the back of the cruiser. At this point, I wasn't expecting a chick, and even if Jason still was, the possibility of his dream girl emerging from the back seat seemed nearly impossible.

Until she did.

The new girl gracefully lifted herself out of the backseat and onto the grass. The sun glinted off her blonde hair as the wind blew it back—making her glow. Jason's jaw dropped.

She shook Jeff's hand politely but didn't smile hello or take her sunglasses off. None of us spoke. Out of my peripheral, I could sense that Marie looked away from the window and over at me. My gaze wasn't breaking from the new girl though.

I didn't know why I was so intrigued. New Girl was dressed simply enough: black converse, skinny jeans, and a light pink hoodie unzipped over a white, V-neck t-shirt that appeared to fit her like a second skin.

I had seen pretty girls before, hell I'd dated a bunch (okay, a few) of beautiful girls before, but there was something about this one….

To get back behind the wheel, Officer Frankel walked in front of New Girl, blocking her from my view and finally breaking my trance.

Marie stood up and sat next to me, smiling. It made me uncomfortable. Marie had this idea in her head about us but I didn't feel the same way. I made a mental note to stop sneaking off to dark corners to make out with her. That's probably what gave her the ideas she had about us. Girls got attached so easily and I was a pussy when it came to hurting their feelings. Especially when those feelings were stuck in this group with me until we were deemed suitable to reenter society.

Julie

I sat in Jeff's office, sunglasses on and face void of expression.

"Julie, I'm glad you arrived safely. How are you feeling?"

At that, I decided to lift up my sunglasses and look Jeff in the eye, "you're already starting with the therapy session?"

Jeff, caught off guard, gave a snort of laughter, "no. I'm not your counselor."

"What a shame..." I started, with a seductive lilt to my voice, "I was hoping you would get to know me intimately... you know, discuss my deepest darkest secrets," I slid my sunglasses back over my eyes. Before Jeff could respond, there was a quick rap on the door.

"Come in," Jeff called out, ignoring my comment. My advance was fake and he knew that, but I wanted to see how far I could push him before he snapped at me. Or did something untrustworthy. It was a game with no winner, but one I liked to play with authority figures.

The door opened to a beautiful woman. She was five-foot nine with long, straight, thick black hair, olive skin and deep brown eyes that locked on Jeff's, "Hi! I'm sorry for interrupting, someone told me this was your—the owners'… office? I have an interview with him… you?"

I turned back around to look at Jeff. He stared at the stranger in his doorway, clearly at a loss for words. She was a babe.

"Uh, Jeff? You may wanna close that sexy mouth of yours before you drool on your shirt."

Jeff cleared his throat and threw a glare in my direction. I smiled to myself for getting a point in my little game and sat back in my seat, crossing my legs.

"You must be—uh—Leslie?"

"Lena," the young woman corrected.

Jeff cringed a bit, "Of course, Lena. So sorry about that," he stammered, trying to regain his composure in front of her, "If you just give me a few minutes, I'm just wrapping up in here."

"Of course," Lena said as she backed out of the room, closing the door quietly, smiling to herself.

She had to be used to men ogling her, but I could see the appeal of Jeff. He was a tall, built, man with strong bone structure, piercing blue eyes and perfect wavy brown hair. He had that classic All-American thing going for him that made you look twice.

"So what now?" I asked behind my sunglasses, I was bored and getting antsy. Adrenaline was building in my body causing my anxiety to flare. Sitting in one place was becoming a chore.

"I'm going to send you back with Diane. She's the nurse on duty today. She started going through your belongings already, to make sure everything is up to par and you're not trying to sneak anything into campus. Although you received a full physical at the hospital, you’re going to get one here too and…."

"You’re sugar coating that this is a cavity check…" I interjected dejectedly.

Jeff looked at me and shrugged apologetically. He felt for me, I'm sure, but it was procedure. He pressed a button on his phone and a few moments later, a stout woman escorted me down the hall.

Diane opened a door for me to enter a small gray room at the end of the hall. The hall had been gray, Diane's scrubs were gray, even her hair was gray. The room smelled medicinal and was barren except for the long metal table pushed against the far wall and a chair bolted to the ground that I was instructed to sit on. There were no windows; the only source of light came from a florescent bulb on the ceiling. There was a small bathroom off to the side, one sink, one toilet, and no mirror. On the other end was another door.

My suitcase was open on the table and I could tell it had already been searched, some contents strewn haphazardly on the table around it. A young doctor or nurse in pink scrubs opened the other door. I could see behind her frame a small room with some medical equipment that appeared to be the doctor's office. It was blue and yellow. Perhaps that was done on purpose, to make it feel friendlier when they checked my recesses.

I heard the snap of rubber gloves and heard Diane drag my duffel across the steel table as I walked towards the doctor's office, pulling off my sweatshirt along the way.

I had been naked a lot in my last five months on the street, but I still felt as though I was about to be violated. I hated the inspection, hated that my belongings were being riffled through. Safety wasn't as important as my dignity, especially when I knew the only substance in my bags were a few packs of cigarettes., which were only illegal because of my age.

Lena

I sat across from Jeff, waiting for him to look up from my resume. I was surprised when I got the call to interview. I had sent my resume out like a mass mailing to numerous schools when I eagerly started my job search. I thought it would be a breeze to get a teaching job with my fresh Master’s degree, but after two weeks without even an acknowledgement from any school, the discouragement started to seep in. After five weeks I was nothing short of shocked to get a call from Horizons.

Over the phone Jeff said he had wanted to bring me in for an interview earlier but there wasn’t a spot for me at the time. He seemed really thankful and almost relieved that I was still available and in such short notice.

“Lena,” Jeff started, “sorry for being a few minutes late. We admitted a new student today and they were a little late getting up here and well… here we are.”

“Here we are,” I parroted. I adjusted myself in the chair, crossing and re-crossing my legs, smoothing my skirt over my thighs. I tried to make it look natural but I was trying to dry my sweaty palms. A job interview was intimidating enough, but someone as good-looking as Jeff definitely induced my nerves.

“Your resume impressed me,” Jeff said, looking down at the paper again. I took the reprieve to check him out. He was extremely handsome. His face was chiseled with a strong jaw that was accentuated by his five o’clock shadow. As he glanced down, I took in his long eyelashes, almost brushing his cheekbones. As if he could feel my eyes on him, he looked up into my chocolate brown eyes. 

My mouth went dry as a blush crept up my neck. 

“I’m surprised,” I commented quickly, trying to distract Jeff. He looked at me, puzzled, and I felt my face flush with more heat, “well, it’s just. I sent that resume, oh I don’t know. Five weeks ago, it’s just rare to hear back so long after,” Jeff continued to stare at me.

“Don’t get me wrong!” I stammered on, misinterpreting Jeff’s silence and scared I had stuck my foot in my mouth. After all, he already explained that there hadn’t been a position at that time, “I’m glad I got a call back.  Just… you know… surprised.” 

Jeff laughed, and although it seemed genuine and not filled with malice, I felt young and naïve, “no, you’re right. Like I said, we had no openings but something just came up. I’ll be honest with you. It’s uncommon that we have someone quit on us last minute with little notice and you’re the most recent resume I had on file. Not to say that it didn’t impress me.

“I read in your cover letter that you have experience in a rehabilitation facility?” Jeff prompted. He didn’t want to force the conversation, he wanted to lead it. It was a technique I learned. This was a test. He wanted to see if I could take this conversation where it needed to go.

I hadn’t forgotten that I filled out a form allowing a background check. There was no reason to believe any of my past demons remained hidden. I made a point to maintain eye contact with Jeff although I hated answering the question. Having been born and raised on a nearby reservation, I had a tough childhood. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was dead before I was a week old.

I had never been sure if my father had always been an alcoholic, or if my mother’s death had brought on the need to drink. I had barely even had a conversation with my father. My older brothers, taking after my dad in many ways, treated me with the same disdain. It was as if they blamed me, a little girl, for my mother’s death.

It wasn’t until I found a picture of my mother hidden in a box at the back of the closet that I understood why my father and brothers hated me so much. I looked exactly like my mother, from the dark, almost almond shaped eyes, to the long black hair, to the high cheekbones and even dimple in the left cheek when I smiled. I’ll never be sure if they knew about the dimple since I never smiled around them.

I had been seven when I found the picture. That’s when I started hating myself as well. I always tried to make myself appear invisible. I didn’t like making my father angry so I would tread silently at home. At school I kept to myself, never quite fitting in. Without a mother for guidance or any peers to learn from and only having oversized hand-me-downs from my brothers, I was quickly and easily cast off.

It wasn’t long before I was grateful for the oversized clothes. Once my father started hitting me, I was thankful I had loose clothes to cover the bruises and welts. 

With a sigh, I opened my mouth to answer, knowing there was no point in lying, “Well, long story short; after my father was sent to jail for attacking me, I was forced into the foster system. My older brothers didn’t want me and I didn’t have any other relatives. Things were pretty rough those years and I suffered with depression and self-mutilation. It took a while for anyone to find out, but it eventually landed me in a rehab facility.

“During my time there, I started the process so that I could be an emancipated minor at 17. I worked at the rehab facility so that I could continue seeking therapy and I picked up a waitressing job so I could put myself through school.

“I decided it was best to use what I learned to help others. That’s why I only recently graduated; I took my time getting through school.”

Jeff

I smiled at her; relieved she told me the truth. Of course I knew about her past. After seeing her amazing credentials I ran a complete background check. You can never be too careful about who is brought in to teach the kids. She signed a waver for the background check, so she had to know her past was no secret, but it’s still difficult to unleash your demons out loud to a stranger.

“I really admire that,” I started, “I think it really helps to understand the students when you have experienced similar things. It took me a little longer to realize I could help lost kids. It took quite a few years, quite a few more relapses, and a few more adult facilities before I found my way back here.”

Lena nodded. She hadn’t been expecting my admission. Her eyes got bigger as I looked into them and I felt my body lean forward instinctively. It wanted to be closer to her. My heartbeat quickened. I cleared my throat and looked back at her resume and transcript, breaking eye contact.