Unraveled (6 page)

“You'll hate
me!”

His eyes
widen with surprise. “Hate you? I could never hate you, Blayre.”

I laugh
bitterly as my fists clench at my sides. “I've done some terrible things.”

“Like what?”

“It doesn't
matter. I'm not the girl you think I am. I'm not good like you want me to be
and I've done things that you wouldn't like. You need to understand that and
leave me alone.”

“Quit
beating around the bush and tell me what is so bad that you're doing. I bet
Cole has a hand in it, doesn't he?” Noah asks darkly as his lip curls in the
corner with disapproval.

I need to
calm down and think things through before I say anything more, so instead I
switch the topic. “Promise me you won't tell Tate about the cutting or the
abuse. Please? If you won't for me, then at least do it for Tate. He just lost
Sean and he doesn't need the added drama of my issues. If he finds out about
Cole, he'll do something stupid and you know I'm right.”

“I'll make
you a temporary deal,” he says as his eyes narrow on me with determination. “I
won't tell Tate about either, if you willingly open up to me about the cutting
and
whatever else is going on with you. I mean it. I work tonight, but tomorrow
night you owe me the evening and we're going to have a long talk.”

I nod with
resignation. If baring my soul to Noah meant keeping my brother out of my mess,
then I guess it would be worth it.

“You stay
away from Cole for a while as well,” he adds.

“Okay.” That
one will be easy enough because when Cole's mad, he avoids me like the plague.

The next
morning my mood is dark and grim. It's going to be a bad, bad day. First off, I
am dreading the conversation I'd foolishly promised Noah in the heat of
desperation. I have no idea how much I plan on telling him, but I do know I
need to get Noah to understand that I am not the girl he thinks I am. He needs
to stop trying to save me all the time. It's like torture being around him now
that he has feelings for me.

As for
Cole...I have no idea what happens now. Either he'll get over it or we break
up. As usual, I know the smart choice would be to end it with him, but if I do
that, then I will be once again completely alone. I've destroyed everything
with Noah, or I will by the end of tonight and my brother is rarely around.
When I'd moved here, I'd wanted a change from my old life, but I hadn't been
expecting any of this. I've basically exchanged one abusive life for another.

With grim
resolve, I force myself to head downstairs for breakfast. When I enter the
kitchen, I can hear Tate talking in an odd sort of excited tone to Noah—who as
usual is sitting at the island counter with his back to the hall. I walk past
him and head for the refrigerator to grab my breakfast.

“Hey,
Blayre,” Tate greets.

“Hey.” I
grab an apple and shut the refrigerator door.

“Morning,” I
hear Noah say.

I'd like to
ignore him but I turn so he can read my lips. My eyes lift and they abruptly
widen as I take in the dark purple bruise marring his strong jaw. My mouth
falls open as I demand, “What the hell happened?”

Tate speaks
up before Noah can. “He tried to split up a fight at the Grill last night and
ended up in one himself. I wish I would have been there. I'm a cop and Noah can
even lay me flat. He's been taking mixed martial arts classes for years,” he
says admirably and clearly he's just like any other red-blooded male—he enjoys
a good fight.

I turn on
Noah and he meets my gaze, his brown eyes deliberate as he says, “The other guy
looks much worse.”

Damn Cole.

Instead of
getting out of my car when I arrive at school, I wait and watch to see when
Cole arrives. I can't believe he'd gone after Noah. Obviously the man can take
care of himself but still...you don't go and beat up a deaf guy.

I'm seething
with anger and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if someone told me I have steam
coming out of my ears. My opinion of Cole has changed since I'd woken up this
morning and I've decided that at this point, I want nothing to do with him.
Does that mean I want to break up with him? I don't know yet, but I do need
some time away from him to try to clear my head.

When I hear the
roar of a motorcycle, I look up and watch as Cole cruises into the parking lot
and finds a parking space several down from mine. It's getting late and most of
the students have left to go inside before the final bell rings.

I climb out
and slam my car door shut before heading straight for him. He's just climbed
off his motorcycle when he spots me. His body tenses but he stands there and
waits for me to approach him. As I get closer, I see that his face is free of
bruises or cuts. Evidently he'd sent someone else to do his dirty work.

“How could
you?” I demand accusingly as I pause in front of him.

His eyes
narrow with irritation. “He couldn't wait to go running to you, could he?”

“It wasn't
like that,” I say defensively. “He was in the kitchen and I asked about the
bruise on his jaw. And by the way, he claims he got in a fight at the Grill
breaking up another fight. He never said your name but I know you well enough
to know you were behind it.”

“No one gets
away with the shit he pulled yesterday,” he says coldly.

“So you go
after a
deaf
guy?”

“Who's your
fucking boyfriend, Blayre? Him or me?”

“Last time I
checked it was you, but at this point I'm beginning to have second thoughts.”

“Yeah? Who's
been lying to me all this time?” he counters back. “That would be
you
.”

“Because I
knew you'd act like this! It was just a kiss and I told you already,
he
kissed me. I pulled back and told him I have a boyfriend.” 

“If I am
supposedly so important to you, you wouldn't be defending him over me right
now, would you?” he challenges.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,”
he mimics tauntingly.

I glare at
him. “You sent someone after my deaf housemate. What part of that
doesn't
sound messed up to you? Of course I am going to defend him! He didn't do
anything wrong but try to protect me in his own home.”

“Typical,
Blayre. Defending everyone else but me,” he says darkly before he turns and
walks away from me.

“That's all
I ever do is defend your ass to every single person in my life! I'm dizzy from
riding your bipolar roller coaster!” I shout after him.

All this
does is earn me the finger from him—of course he flips me off over his shoulder
rather than face me—which earns me some interested glances from the few
students that have arrived late for school.

I'm left
glaring at his back as I stand there. One of these days, it is going to be me
walking away from
him
. If I could just work up the nerve to do it and
mean it. Cole was like an addiction. I couldn't seem to let him go.

My phone
chimes in my pocket and I pull it out and glance at the text message.

NOAH: 
We're
going to have a talk tonight about that asshole you call a boyfriend.

I sigh and
slip my phone in my pocket. What was it going to take for me to end it with
Cole? He's killed someone and he's hit me. What next? I'm stupid if I stick
around to wait and find out but it's also not that easy to let him go. We both
had a hand in that robbery and if we split up, would we just go our separate
ways and take the secret to our grave? Somehow, I don't think breaking up with
Cole would be that easy.

When I get
home after school, I actually sit down at the dining room table and spread my
homework out across it. Cole's ignoring me completely and with Paige gone, I
literally have nothing to do now during my free time. After being dragged into
the counselor's office this afternoon to be warned that I was failing four of
my classes and was teetering on the edge of not being able to graduate, I
figure I better start trying to turn my grades around.

With a sigh,
I glance at the scattered books and papers across the table before glancing out
the patio doors longingly. It's sunny out and I'm tempted to work outside but
that would be too distracting. I
hate
homework with a passion. I'm not
stupid but wasn't thrilled to be putting my brain to use doing stuff that I
likely wouldn't need in the future. It wasn't like I was going to college or
anything.

I pick up my
pen and tap it on the table as I fidget and try to concentrate on my paper
about
Macbeth
. It's hard to ignore temptation though, especially with
the birds chirping cheerfully outside.

After
another sigh, I drop the pen and rise to my feet. The sliding glass door open
easily in my hands as I step outside and head for one of the large flower pots.
It's November now and the temperatures were staying steady around the
mid-sixties, but I know next month they'll begin to drop. Some of the flowers
will be done blooming and I'll miss their bright beauty in the backyard.

I figure
Noah won't mind if I pluck a few, so I grab two large orange flowers and lift
them to my nose and inhale their delicate fragrance. Their scent reminds me of
summer and sunshine. With a satisfied smile on my face, I head back inside and
grab a glass and fill it with water. Then I put the pretty blooms in the glass
and set it in the middle of the table. Now I have something pretty to look at
while I work on the dreaded assignment.

I must have
fallen asleep because I hear a loud bang and my entire body jerks, causing me
to fall off the kitchen chair. I'd been dreaming about the robbery and the
gunfire still echoes in my ears. My butt hurts from my fall and I sit there on
the floor and look around sleepily before I catch sight of Noah.

“You okay?”
He is standing by the garage door, his expression one of surprise as he stares
at me.

I realize it
must have been the sound of the garage door slamming shut that had woken me up.
Slowly, I rise to my feet and rub my aching rear end. “Yeah. You startled me,”
I say as I move back to my chair and gingerly sit down.

Noah enters
the kitchen. “I'd say, were you sleeping?” he asks as he walks over and his
eyes take in my school work scattered across the table.

“Must've
been, considering I normally don't dive to the floor when I'm fully conscious,”
I say dryly.

“I didn't
know if you'd be here or not.”

I sigh and
meet his eyes. “We made a deal. I'll honor it,” I say grudgingly.

He nods.
“I'll make us dinner while you do your homework.”

“I can
help.”

“Homework,
Blayre.”

“Yes,
Daddy,” I say as I shoot him an annoyed look.

Noah's expression
suddenly looks tortured. “Never,
ever
call me that again.”

“Then don't
act like one,” I muse.

He shakes
his head and walks away to wash up before making our dinner. When he comes
back, we work in contented silence. While he moves around the kitchen, I focus
my attention on doing my homework. You'd think that he'd be a distraction but
he's not. If anything, I manage to concentrate better. Maybe it's because I'm
aware I'm not alone in the house or maybe it's the fact that
he
is the
one pushing me to do my homework. I don't know.

Either way,
I accomplished more than I had in the last week before we settle down to eat at
the table after I cleared my papers from it.

As we eat, I
expect Noah to dive in to the conversation I'd promised to have with him but
instead he keeps it light and we talk about random stuff, like the fact that
the holidays are coming up—which I am absolutely dreading—but I don't tell him
that. We discuss the weather and how relieved I am that I won't have to deal
with snow. It's just little things that fill our conversation and it's easy to
eat and chat at the same time.

When we're
finished, I help Noah clean up. He then pours us two glasses of lemonade and
grabs his cigarettes after asking if I mind. I shake my head and we head out to
the patio to sit at the table. My nerves are suddenly on edge. The moment is
here where I have to answer his questions and try to get him to understand that
whatever good he saw in me was clearly a figment of his imagination.

Noah lights
up a cigarette and takes a drag before focusing his attention on me. “Are you
willing to share anything with me on your own or do I have to drag it out of
you with numerous questions?”

“Numerous
questions it is.” If I had it my way, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

He looks
disappointed but nods as he flicks some ash off his cigarette. “Why Cole?”

I'd been
expecting him to dive right into the whole 'cutting' thing so I am caught off
guard. I think over his question for a long moment and remind myself that I need
to answer as honestly as I can or Noah isn't ever going to realize I can't be
the person he wants me to be. “You mean what drew me to him?” I ask.