Undo Me (The Good Ol' Boys #3) (28 page)

As soon as I walked out, I heard what sounded like yelling, but I couldn’t make out what was being said due to the loud music that was playing in the house. Adrenaline coursed through my entire body as I ran as fast as I could back into the garage.

“Shut your goddamn mouth, little girl,” Jeremy snarled.  

“Fuck you!” Lily shouted and my heart dropped.

I opened the door, stopping Jeremy mid-action. He was about to go towards Lily. She was on the ground with Aubrey lying in her arms, that was hunched over and reeling in pain. It reminded me of when I saw her on the trail. Memories of that day came flooding back, only infuriating and consuming me further. I shut the door behind me. No one was going to take away my chance to fuck this motherfucker up before I brought him in and locked him the hell up.  

The rage took over and I charged him, knocking him over with my entire body, both of us falling to the ground. We wrestled around for a few seconds, but he wasn’t strong enough for me.

“Please… please… stop,” Aubrey pleaded for I don’t know who.

I straddled his chest and the pussy immediately blocked his face. I hit him anyways, gripping a chunk of his hair and slamming his head as hard as I fucking could into the concrete.

“You piece of fucking shit!” I yelled out, hitting him anywhere I could, over and over again. “You like to beat women, motherfucker!” I punched him repeatedly, slamming his head once again onto the concrete.

“Lily, he’s going to kill him,” Aubrey spoke.

“Who cares, he was hurting you,” Lily argued, only pissing me off further because she had to defend me from the son of a bitch lying in front of me.

“I’m fine. Please, Dylan, please stop!” Aubrey begged.

“You sack of fucking shit,” I ignored her, my fists beating all over his face.

“Please, Dylan, if you ever loved me… please stop!” she screamed out with pure desperation in her tone.

I instantly stopped, standing up to spit on his face. What happened next shocked the shit out of both Lily and I.

Aubrey went to him.

She went to Jeremy.

Choosing him over me.

For the third time in my short life I felt like I took a bullet to my goddamn heart.

“What are you doing?” I seethed, gripping her arm.

She roughly snatched it out of my grasp. “Mind your own goddamn business. Leave!” she ordered, her demeanor quickly turning callous. Nothing like the woman I was just in here with.

“Have you lost your fucking mind? Get the fuck up, Aubrey! I’m taking this piece of shit in.” I grabbed my phone from my back pocket, but she knocked it out of my hand, causing the screen to shatter on the floor.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you defending him?” I argued.

“You know why. Leave. Leave now.”

“You can’t be serious?” I shook my head. “You think I’m really going to leave you with him? Give me some goddamn credit, Aubrey.”  

She’s lost her goddamn mind.

“If you don’t leave, Dylan, I swear I’ll never let you…” she hesitated, but I understood her subtle warning.

She was going to throw that in my face, now?

She blamed me for what happened and there was no taking that back. As much as I wanted to, as much as I prayed I could.

“Un-fucking-believable. I loved you. I still fucking love you and you stand there and defend this piece of shit?”

She swallowed hard her resolve breaking.

“I guess I really never knew you at all,” I bit.  

She shut her eyes. I could physically feel her pain in the distance between us. I took one last look at her before kicking Jeremy in the stomach, peering down at him with disgust.

“Mark my words, motherfucker, one day I’m going to fucking kill you,” I snapped, barely being able to hold back the desire to do it right then and there.  

I grabbed Lily’s hand and led her out through the side door. She halted as soon as we were a few feet away.

“What are you doing? We can’t leave her in there. We have to tell someone. You have to arrest him. Go back in there, Dylan!” She was hysterical.

I clenched my teeth. “I don’t have a choice.”

“Why?”

“Lily, just pretend you didn’t see that tonight. Do you understand? For me. Do it for me,” I pleaded, looking in her eyes.

“You can’t ask me to do that.”

“I’m not asking,” I lightly warned.  

“Dylan, I—”

“Lily, you know I love you. Don’t make me say it. We both know what I’m talking about. I’ve kept my mouth quiet, now it’s time for you to return the favor.”

She was taken back by what she knew I implied, Jacob and their secret of whatever the fuck they were doing behind everyone’s backs for the last few years. The last thing she wanted was for Lucas to find out or anyone else for that matter.

I nodded, feeling bad, and kissed her forehead. I didn’t stay around to see the confused and hurt look on her face. I had too much plaguing my own thoughts and emotions that I could barely fucking see two feet in front of me. I went straight to the bar and took four shots of bourbon, one right after the other. Welcoming the warm burn it left in its wake. I poured a drink and walked into the backyard. I needed to get myself together before I went around anyone. By the time I made it back inside, Aubrey and Jeremy were just leaving. They said their goodbyes and I watched every single step Aubrey took, praying that she would turn back and run into my arms. Hoping that I would see some recognition of the woman she used to be.

Nothing.

It didn’t take long for the inevitable to happen.

Almost a year later Lucas’ mom lay on her deathbed, surrounded by her loved ones. Family and friends flew in to say their last goodbyes. I tried to be there for Lucas and Lily. I could tell he was barely hanging on by a thread, and she rarely left her mom’s side. Not that I could blame either one of them. I dealt with things differently, I always had. I still dreaded the afternoon when it was my turn to have my time with her.

To say goodbye to a woman who had been like a mom to me.

I was always the strongest among us boys. It was the role I took on as a child, but I felt anything but that when I walked into her room to say my last goodbye. Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions that surged through my body, heart, and mind.

“Dylan-fuckin’-McGraw,” she rasped, making me laugh.

Bringing me back to the day she washed my mouth with soap when I was eight after she heard me say fuck to the boys.

She lovingly smiled, patting the side of the bed for me to sit. I took a deep breath, taking in her frail body where she lay about to say her last words to me.

“You have always been such a good boy and now you’re an even better man.”

“Yeah…”

“You know, Dylan, sometimes in life things happen that we can’t control. That we don’t understand. But it doesn’t matter because it still fucking sucks,” she drawled, trying to talk like me.

I chuckled.

She never spoke to me like that before, but I knew she was just trying to make me comfortable and make light of our goodbye.

“You were the first boy to start trouble, start cussing, picking up girls, the first at everything. You were also the first to take the blame when it wasn’t yours to take, defending the boys when they needed defending, protecting Alex the most when she never asked for it to begin with. And look at you now, baby, you’re a narcotics Detective. Do you have any idea how proud I am of you? I never worried about you, Dylan. Out of all you boys, you were the least of my concerns. I knew you would always lead with your heart, as much as you try to mask it with women.” She shook her head, frowning.

“It’s not who you are. It’s who you think you’re supposed to be. Like right now, you want to cry. You want to break down so badly, but you won’t because you’re strong. You’ve always been so damn strong for everyone else, even when you’re hurting inside.”

I swallowed hard.

“There’s a time and place for everything. Sometimes it takes us longer than we hoped, but that doesn’t mean that it will never come. It’ll just mean that much more when it finally does.”

I nodded, taking in her words.

“I’m going to be watching from Heaven, smiling and cheering you on, because no one deserves it more than you do.”

I bit my lip, my eyes watering.

“I prayed last night. I prayed for the first time in a long time, Dylan. For patience, strength, and courage. For love. Not for me… I’m not scared of dying. I’m terrified of what I’m leaving behind. My kids, you boys, my friends, and the love of my life. It’s you guys that will suffer. I’m going to a better place because it’s my time to go, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t feel me.” She placed her hand on my heart. “Here.”

I peered down at her hand, lost in what she was saying.

“I don’t have to tell you to watch over my kids. I know you will. You’ve been doing it your entire life.”

I blinked away the tears, not unable to hold them back any longer.

“Dylan-fuckin’-McGraw, I love you and one day you’re going to love yourself again too.”

I leaned in and hugged her unable to form words.

The next few days felt like they were zooming by, yet at the same time, standing still. All of us waited for the expected. Her heart started to give out one evening, and it was time for their dad to make the decision to take her off the machines that were keeping her alive. The pain she was feeling was noticeably unbearable. We could all see it in her eyes, she wanted to go, but was holding on for us.

After he made the decision that it was time to leave her in God’s hands, he came into the room. I stood with Lily in my arms and Lucas sitting next to me. Their dad bent down by her, holding her hand in his. She had maybe spoken five words all day. He looked down at her with tears filling his eyes and remorse for what he just decided.

He begged, “Please, tell me you love me, please, baby, tell me you love me.”

She pried open her heavy lids and whispered, “I love you."

He then kissed her forehead and cried, "Good, because I love you, too."

I had just witnessed one of the most beautiful, but painful moments of my life.

It was then that I bawled.  

For a love that I yearned for, a love exactly like that, and finally realized that I might never get to have.

“You, stupid fucking bitch.” He backhanded me across the face so hard that I saw stars. “Fuck! I hate this goddamn town. Why? Why did I listen to you and move here? To fucking Oak Island?”

We relocated back to Oak Island four years ago when Lucas and Alex got married. Jeremy hadn’t let me live it down since. The only reason he agreed to move with me was he thought he wouldn’t have to deal with his father as often. Unfortunately, it backfired on him, and consequently, on me. He traveled all the time back to California and who knows where the hell else.

We had a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Except when it came to me. That was a whole different story. I had to ask and tell him everything, or I’d pay for it.

Lucas and Alex got married almost a year after Lucas’ mom lost her battle to cancer. After everything they had been through they still found their way back to each other, and I was thrilled for them.

They were meant to be together.

I went to the wake and the funeral, but Dylan and I didn’t say one word to each other. He was in so much pain and there wasn’t anything I could do for him.

Not anymore.

The last time I saw him was a year ago for Lily’s twenty-third birthday in Nashville, but the truth was that Dylan had been trying for years to talk to me and help me. Always sending emails that I had to keep deleting out of fear that Jeremy would find them, always trying to call even though I never picked up, always offering help, lists of shelters and ways to help myself.

I always ignored him. 

Lily just took off one day and moved to the Music City in Nashville. She had been living there since her mom died. She worked at a bar as their entertainment. Which didn’t surprise me, Lily was always singing, a talent way beyond her years. To my surprise Jeremy said we could go, but I should have known better. He never did anything for me, even though he claimed everything he did was for me.

We were late for our flight since he was hungover from the night before. He proceeded to blame me for it. Screaming at me like a damn kid that I didn’t wake him up early enough, that I didn’t give him an ibuprofen the night before. Hell, he blamed me for the heavy traffic. Alex and Lucas were getting suspicious. I lived ten minutes down the road from their house and hardly ever saw them. That’s one of the reasons why Jeremy agreed to go in the first place. Like the stupid woman I was, I jumped at the chance to see him.

Dylan.

Which was a waste since we didn’t talk at all. Jeremy wouldn’t let me out of his sight for more than a few seconds, making it nearly impossible to talk to anyone that much. Lily followed me into the bathroom at her bar to have a word. What she said would forever haunt me.

“Not everyone gets their happily ever after, Lily.” I tore the paper towel from her hand and looked back at the mirror, wiping the blood from my lip. Another wound from Jeremy’s handiwork for not paying enough attention to him.

“You’re wrong, Aubrey,” she stated, washing her hands in the sink next to me.

I looked at her through the mirror.

“You couldn’t be any more wrong. I hope by the time you realize that… it won’t be too late,” she spoke with conviction. She didn’t beat around the bush.

Hearing her say that was a tough pill to swallow.

I was still trying to get it down one year later.

At the end of the day I don’t know why we went. It was a huge mistake on my part.

The time wasn’t completely shitty for everyone. After three years of trying, Alex finally got pregnant that weekend. I couldn’t have been happier for them. Her blissful vacation was my very own hell.

They gave Alex’s stepson Mason a brother three months ago and named him Bo, her childhood nickname for Lucas. The day he was born I was getting ready to go to the hospital, but Jeremy put an end to that. He punched me so hard in the stomach. I spent the entire day in bed from the consequences of him not being happy with how I made his breakfast. He blamed it on me being in a rush to go meet my best friend’s newborn son.

Alex was so hurt that I wasn’t there for her. She hardly talked to me these last three months. I couldn’t blame her, I was an awful friend. When we got the invitation in the mail for a party at Alex and Bo’s house to celebrate the birth of Bo, and Jacob and Austin moving back to Oak Island, I was relieved that she still included me in her life.

“Jesus Christ, baby, I barely fucking touched you,” Jeremy said, reaching his hand up to my face.

I flinched when he caressed my cheek.

“Go get dressed so we can go to this stupid party. Do you see how much I love you? No one loves you like I do. No one.”

Bile rose up my throat.

I nodded as he tapped his cheek for me to kiss. I did, resisting the urge to fight back.

Which had been happening a lot more lately.

“Jesus Christ, man. If you want her so fucking bad, then just tell her,” Jacob argued.

I glanced at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, knowing damn well what he meant, but I wanted him to say it.

“You’re staring at Jeremy like you’re ready to kill him. They’ve been together for years, bro, I don’t know if you have a chance anymore, but you’re never going to know unless you try.”

I cocked my head to the side with a shit-eating grin. “Oh,” I mocked. “So now that you’re permanently attached to Lily’s pussy, you’re an expert on relationships, are you?” I busted out laughing.

He jerked back, stunned that I was calling him out on what no one had yet to figure out. “I’m a Detective Jacob, I read people for a living. You do remember that right?”