Undo Me (The Good Ol' Boys #3) (27 page)

“Only after working on the force for three years since you graduated from college,” she added with nothing but pride laced in her tone, stepping toward me again like she was going to hug me, but at the last second she smacked me upside the head. “By the way I don’t care if you’re twenty-six years old or fifty years old. You do not talk to me like I am one of your boys or colleagues. I raised you better than that, Dylan Anthony McGraw, do you hear me?”

I rubbed at my head where she just hit me. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I know, honey. I know Aubrey is going to be there with her boyfriend. I know it’s been years since you have seen her. I know you still—”

I sighed and we locked eyes. She knew I hated that she was bringing this up again, knowing I wouldn’t discuss it with her.

I wouldn’t discuss it with anyone.

She lovingly smiled, reading my mind. “This is not why I’m here. It would mean a lot to Lucas’ mom if you were there for her Christmas Eve party. She wants everyone together. We don’t know what’s going to happen, Dylan. She’s getting worse, and I know you see it. This might be her last…” she stopped, unable to finish her sentence.

“I know, Mom. I’ll be there.”

She stood and walked over to me. “Thank you, honey. Everything is going to be okay. You’ll see.”

I silently prayed she was right.

I sat at my vanity, peering at the woman in the mirror.

“I love you,” I whispered, barely being able to hear it over the melody coming from my jewelry box. The one that Dylan had left for me in my mom’s car all those years ago.

Holding on to the only thing I had left of him.

Of us.

Her eyelashes were long and covered in mascara.

Her eyelids were coated in grey eye shadow with thick black eyeliner.

Every inch of her face was coated with concealer, foundation, and powder. Blush creeping along her cheekbones.

Her mouth was bright red.

Her blonde, silky hair laid on the right side of her face, a bow shaped clip placed strategically in her hair that matched her lips.

Her red silk blouse and black pencil skirt hugged the curves of her body. She finished the disguise off with black sky-high heels.

She looked so flawless, so beautiful, so put together and perfect, exactly the way he wanted. Not a hair or stitch of make up out of place.

No one would think that this woman was broken. No one would know that bruises covered her face and body. No one would know that she spent hours fabricating her impeccable appearance so that people would think she was happy.

She was loved and cared for.

My family and friends wouldn’t know the truth that lied under the façade. Not even the man that put all these marks on her could tell.

“I love you,” I repeated, desperately wanting to believe it but knowing I never would.

Taking one last look at the woman staring back at me through the mirror and then I let my eyes travel to the necklace around my neck. My fingers touched the silver heart that lay on my chest and traced the words.
Always. Promise.

It took years for me to open the jewelry box that Dylan gave me. The first time Jeremy hit me I didn’t cry, I didn’t weep, I didn’t even make a sound. I went home that night and grabbed the jewelry box that I kept hidden in the back of my closet where I locked away my truths. I placed it on my vanity, looking into the mirror at the sharp bruise on my cheek still not feeling anything.

With trembling fingers I opened the box. Music and a delicate ballerina dressed in a white tutu was sitting in the fourth position, came to life. It was then that I realized there was a piece of jewelry hidden in it.

It was only then…

That I cried my heart out.

We were all at Lucas’ mom’s Christmas Eve party. The good ol’ boys were all back together again, with the exception of Austin. He took off after their visit from spring break. Alex told me they all got postcards from him every so often, but no one knew where he was or what he was up to.

They all worried nonetheless.

I watched from afar as a random girl I didn’t recognize flirted with Dylan.  She wasn’t even trying to hide it. She was all over him and of course, McGraw was enjoying her advances. Not batting an eye that I was in the same room. He’d never pass up an opportunity to get his dick wet, and I’m sure it was much worse now that he was somewhat of a hometown hero.

This was supposed to be a family function. It was the only reason I came. Alex pressured me into it, saying Lucas’ mom was getting worse by the day and this may be her last Christmas. She told me that being there would mean the world to her. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t completely caught off guard by how sick she looked. I hadn’t seen her in years. She looked nothing like the strong woman she was when we were in high school. It broke my heart seeing her in that state of health. I immediately felt bad for Lucas and Lily for what was obviously going to happen.

It was only a matter of time.

Dylan and I stayed on opposite ends of the room the entire night, though it didn’t matter, I could sense him anywhere.

It wasn’t just that night.

It was all the time.

We didn’t get close to each other the whole evening, but that didn’t stop me from watching him work his magic on the girl who was coming onto him so damn hard. Dylan didn’t look my way once. He never acknowledged my presence. I silently hoped that it was because of Jeremy. He wouldn’t leave my side, playing the part of the perfect, doting boyfriend. He refined that act in the last three years. We lived together in California, and for an outsider looking in I had the picture-perfect life. My boyfriend took care of me and I didn’t have to work. I was a kept woman and he provided for me in every sense of the word.

Some may say he spoiled me.

Except when he would come home at night or after days of being away dealing with his father, I was the one who took the brunt of his violence. I was the one who paid the price for the unhappy life that he led. I was to blame for the sacrifices he had to make, so he could give us the ideal lifestyle he was trying to provide for us.

For me.

I knew Dylan had moved back to Oak Island after his graduation from Ohio State, Alex offered the information in passing. His whole life was there. I wasn’t one bit surprised when he joined the police force and was working his way up rather quickly. It was who he was.

Always so damn determined.

Deep down I knew his choice of career was partially because he couldn’t save me all those years ago. Maybe it gave him peace of mind that he could save someone else.

Jeremy excused himself, saying he needed to take a phone call. Whenever he did that, he always took a while to return. It could have been his father or the random women that he slept with when I wasn’t around. I found a pair of panties after one of his business trips when I was doing his laundry. Which was my job, I took care of him and the household. Always having to please him, waiting on him hand and foot. If I didn’t do it the way he expected, the way that was good for
me
, he’d make me pay.

Lessons learned he called it. 

I waited up for him that night with the panties lying firmly on my lap. He took one look at me, grabbed the panties and said, “Thank you, baby, she was looking for those.” That was the end of the conversation that never even started. He backhanded me across the face the next morning, reprimanding me for being so fucking nosey.

When Dylan walked towards the garage, my feet moved on their own accord as if an invisible string was pulling me. Before I knew it I was closing the door behind me, the sound making him turn to face me and actually look at me. We hadn’t been face to face in four years. I missed his eyes on me.

The boy I once knew was gone, but the man that I was still in love with was very much there, standing in front of me looking as handsome as ever. His hair pulled up high in a man-bun, his build broader, wider, more defined, making me long to have him hold me. To touch me. Wrap me in his arms and never let me go again. More than anything, I wanted him to take my hand and press it against his heart and whisper to me to feel him.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I didn’t know where to start. There was so much to say, so many explanations and apologies to be made but not nearly enough time to do so. By the look on his face he felt the same way, or maybe it was just my wishful thinking. I hoped for the latter.

I was frozen in front of him, picturing what life could have been.

The years of memories, mistakes, and regrets came rushing over me. Piling on top of me, their weight suffocating me.

The first time I met him.

Our first talk on the beach.

Our first date.

Our first kiss.

The first time he told me he loved me.

The first time we made love and every time after that.

Our love…

That was taken away so harshly, so violently, so unfairly.

My eyes filled with tears, my lips trembled, and whatever little piece of my soul that had mended over the years, now just crumbled around me. My heart started to race at the memory of that day, the day that ended our future.

I let go of the door handle and walked toward him, he watched every step as if his whole world was making its way back to him again. I couldn’t take it anymore. The overwhelming desire was almost unbearable. I don’t know what came over me, as soon as I got to him, I didn’t think twice about it.

I placed my hand over his heart.

The stable, steady heart that remained beating just for me, as if no time had passed between us. We stood there for I don’t know how long, both of us lost in our own thoughts, consumed by our own desires. With an intense stare he extended his hand, I thought he would place his hand over my heart, replicating my action.

He didn’t.

Instead his hand traveled upwards and his thumb gently rubbed back and forth on my cheekbone, and I flinched when he started wiping off my makeup, a move so unexpected it threw me off my axis. I immediately shut my eyes scared of the ramifications of his action, of what he was about to see.

My truths.

He sucked in air and roared deep within his lungs, “I’ll fucking kill him,” he breathed out with nothing but agony in his tone.

I instantly opened my eyes and the glare on his face almost brought me to my knees.

The irony was not lost on me.

“How long, Aubrey?”

“Dylan, I—”

“How fucking long, Aubrey?” he repeated with a much deeper voice.

“You don’t understand,” I pleaded with him.

“You have five seconds to make me understand or I’m going inside and laying him the fuck out for putting his hands on you,” he violently spewed.

“Stay out of it, McGraw.”

He shook his head, understanding my simple yet pungent statement. “Jesus Christ, Bree, you’re ok with this? You want this?”

I bowed my head in shame. “You have no idea.”

He stepped away from me, moving my hand off his heart. It took everything inside me to not grab his hand and place it over my heart so he could see what it was doing to me.

I didn’t want to lose his love, his warmth, his comfort.

“Why? Why are you doing this after everything? You know, I’m still fucking here. Right here, I’m not the one who left. I’m not the one who walked away from our love. I still fucking love you! I love you so damn much. I can’t even breathe when I think about all the years we’ve spent apart, Aubrey.”

“Please, don’t—”

“WHY?” he yelled, making me jolt.

“You know why,” I replied even though I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Un-fucking-believable. You blame me for that day, and yet here you are with a man that fucking hurts you. You gotta be fucking shittin’ me, Bree.” He paced back and forth, making me even more anxious.

I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.

“I can’t even look at you right now. Do you have any idea how much that kills me? I haven’t seen you in four years, four goddamn years and yet you’re still the first and last thing I think about every single day. I’m reminded daily of what I lost.”

Tears slid down my face. His words were like a double-edged sword, causing me pain and euphoria simultaneously.

“I can’t tell you how profusely fucking sorry I am, Bree. How I have to live with the fact that
I
urged you to go by yourself. That
I
let that son of a bitch take away what was mine. What fucking belonged to me.
I
was the one who allowed him to do all that, Bree,
I
failed to protect you!” He slapped his chest. “I hate myself for what I let happen to you. I have to live with that guilt and without you for the rest of my life,” he hesitated, letting his words linger.

“Are you punishing me, Bree? Is that what you’re doing? Trying to rip my fucking heart out… again? Cause if you are, it’s workin’.”

“No,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear.

He got close to my ear and murmured, “Then why does it fucking feel that way?” he gritted out through clenched teeth.

His warm breath lingered there for a second, sending shivers straight to my core. I loved and hated the effect he still had on me. Then he turned and walked away from me, slamming the door behind him. The entire garage rumbled, making me jump.

I stood there,
waiting
.

It didn’t take long for
my
punishment to come.

I went to the bathroom, sick to my fucking stomach.

Alex told me time and time again that Aubrey had changed since she got with Jeremy. I assumed the real reason was the rape, that it finally took its toll. I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I saw her that night she was still so breathtakingly beautiful, but it wasn’t
her
.

It didn’t matter how many times Jeremy held her, whispered in her ear, showed her any kind of affection or love. She would press her nails into the palm of her hand and her eyes would lower to the ground. At first I thought I imagined it, but when he casually gripped her arm and she winced in pain I had to leave the room. The confirmation of my suspicions was too much to bear. I was going to fucking kill him if I didn’t walk away.

I never expected her to follow me out to the garage.

I never thought she would blatantly admit it.

I never imagined that my nightmare would play out in front of my very own eyes and I couldn’t do one thing about it.

I left her there before I lost my temper and took it out on the wrong person. 

I stayed in the bathroom for how ever long it took to calm the fuck down, ready to walk back into the garage and have it out with her. Even if it meant I had to throw her over my goddamn shoulder to get her the hell out of there and away from that asshole of a boyfriend and sorry fucking excuse for a man.