Touch Me Gently (12 page)

Kaden’s voice had dropped to a mere whisper as he finished, his throat raw from the crying jag. “They placed me in an institution for two years. They said that it took them months to get me to respond to anything, and that I just sat there and stared at my hands. It took two full years of visits to a psychiatrist, and medicines to ‘rehabilitate’ me. Fear of large men has kept me moving from job to job. I couldn’t keep a single job for more than a week or two, if lucky. Every night, I see his face, and I see what I did to him. I see the police looking at me with pity in their eyes and the other kids I met in that hospital.”

Logan slid his hand beneath Kaden’s chin, forcing his head up to meet his gaze. “You are a beautiful and strong person, Kaden. You didn’t deserve what that sick bastard did to you, but you have me and Shea now, and we’ll take care of you. And if you think that I’m going to let you go just because of the horrible things you had to endure as a child, you had better stop thinking that, because I never intend to let you go, Kaden. I wish I could change it, and take away everything bad that ever happened to you. I would trade anything I have for that ability.”

The violet eyes shimmered with emotions, warring between disbelief and hope. Logan wasn’t disgusted by him, and he still wanted him to stay. He snuggled closer to Logan, a tired smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I was so scared that you would think me disgusting or like I had asked for it to happen.”

“No one asks to be a victim, Kaden. I’m glad you told me, and I hope that in time you’ll be able to trust me enough to give yourself to me.” Logan leaned his head back against the couch, keeping a tight hold on the teenager in his lap.

They sat there, embracing one another, for the longest time. When Kaden pulled away and went to stand, Logan stopped him by gripping his wrist lightly. “Will you let me hold you tonight?” the cowboy asked him quietly. His green eyes were serious and seemed to look straight inside Kaden’s heart.

Kaden nodded, and they made sure they’d locked the doors and the lights were out before making their way upstairs to Logan’s room. Once inside the bedroom, Logan smiled reassuringly at him and went to change into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Kaden kicked off his sneakers and his jeans, leaving only boxers and his T-shirt, before slipping between the covers. He lay there, tense, and staring at the ceiling when Logan came back out. Logan flipped the light switch off and moved over to the other side of the bed, slipping in beside Kaden. Logan pulled him carefully, tenderly into his side, pressing a small kiss to Kaden’s temple. “Good night, my little one.”

“Good night, Logan,” Kaden breathed, closing his eyes and trying to relax. He still suffered from insomnia, and he listened to Logan’s breathing even out as he fell asleep. He started in surprise when the big man subconsciously pulled him closer, the arms surrounding him and dragging him against the broad chest.

Eventually, Kaden drifted off to sleep, a tranquil, dreamless sleep. The sense of someone looking at him woke him from that peaceful rest, and his eyes slowly blinked open to find green eyes watching him sleep. He flushed at the intense scrutiny, and ducked his head beneath Logan’s chin, enjoying the deep chuckle that rumbled from the strong chest. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Logan’s honeyed voice sounded raspy with sleep, drifting over his senses and making him feel safe.

He nodded and almost sighed with absolute pleasure when he felt one of Logan’s strong hands begin to stroke his back, rubbing gently and massaging him. “Shea mentioned you wanted to have me set up that punching bag I talked about, and for me to show you some of the judo moves. Would you like to start that today?”

“Okay,” Kaden murmured, breathing in the scent of Logan’s skin. He could feel the hard body pressing against him so intimately from chest to thighs to legs. It was the most erotically simple moment he’d ever experienced. He still could not believe that Logan hadn’t been disgusted with him after finding out that he’d murdered his own stepfather. The courts had deemed it temporary insanity after researching with neighbors and teachers, finding out that the stepfather had in fact been sexually and physically abusing him. “Logan?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you… ah… would you… kiss me?” His cheeks burned brightly with embarrassment, and he felt Logan’s body vibrate with the deep laugh that issued from his lungs.

Logan gently rolled him onto his back, leaning over him slightly, without putting his entire body on top of him. His eyes twinkled with amusement as he gazed down at Kaden’s adorable flushed face. He reached up one hand to slide his thumb over the soft skin of Kaden’s cheek before slowly lowering his head, his eyes becoming half-slits in anticipation and desire. He brushed his own lips across Kaden’s, pulling back before diving forward again, teasing both himself and Kaden. He tasted, he savored, and then drank greedily of the pale pink lips beneath his. Logan darted his tongue out to lick lightly at the full bottom lip, sucking it between his lips and tugging on it with each soft pull of his mouth. Lust blazed through him when he heard Kaden’s moan, and the boy’s hands came up to tangle in his sandy hair.

Heat infused Logan’s body, each beat of his pulse sending even more liquid fire racing through him, and he wanted nothing more than to ravish Kaden’s sweet little body underneath him, but he reluctantly pulled away, resisting Kaden’s attempts to pull him in for more. He slid his index finger over the length of Kaden’s nose. “Sorry, baby, but if we keep at it like that I’m… not going to be able to hold back.”

It took a second for Logan’s words to sink in, and when they did Kaden’s eyes widened in a flash of fear and shock. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, turning his head aside.

Logan turned his head back toward him, gazing down into the saddened violet eyes. “Don’t be sorry, Kaden. Never be sorry. I’ll survive. And I don’t want to do anything that will scare you or hurt you. So we’re taking this one little step at a time. You taste so good that my body craves yours like a dying man craves water, but I can control myself.” He smiled to show Kaden that he wasn’t upset or mad. “Time to get up, little one. We’ve got some work to do, and we’re already burning daylight hours here.”

With that, Logan lifted himself from the bed, tugging Kaden behind him. He turned Kaden to face the bedroom door and with a gentle push, said, “Go. Get dressed. I’ll see you downstairs for breakfast. I’m making, so don’t touch anything.” He pressed a small kiss to the back of Kaden’s neck before turning to stride into his own bathroom, closing the door until there was only a gap.

Kaden smiled happily and raced out of the room. Shea stepped out of the bathroom as Kaden walked past. She grinned from ear to ear when she saw him leaving Logan’s room in nothing but a T-shirt and boxers. “Good morning, Kaden,” she called out cheerfully as she sailed into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

He shook his head at her enthusiasm at her brother being with another man, and darted down the stairs, heading to his room. Dressed and in the kitchen, Kaden had started making coffee, by the time Logan came downstairs. Warm arms enclosed him tightly, and then Logan’s voice brushed over his ear. “I thought I told you not to touch anything.”

“But it’s just coffee! And I can’t survive without at least one cup!” Kaden exclaimed, not able to see the teasing look in Logan’s eyes.

“I was only teasing, baby.” Logan nipped gently at the side of Kaden’s neck, grinning like an idiot when he felt the shudder of pleasure go through Kaden, before pulling back to go start breakfast. Logan felt so happy that he literally wanted to shout his joy to the world, but he restrained himself, not wanting to seem like he’d gone insane. He felt Kaden watching him, and it made him feel good to know that he’d made the younger man happy. Kaden had certainly smiled more in the last few days than he had in the entire two months he’d been on the ranch.

Breakfast
turned out to be just the two of them, Shea apparently having decided to sleep in, and Kaden helped Logan with the dishes when they were finished eating, leaving a plate for Shea in the microwave, and a note on the stove telling her where it was. Logan led him out to the barn to get the supplies he needed. He had an old punching bag in the hayloft from when he’d practiced his own moves. He motioned for Kaden to go up the ladder first, grinned at the sight of the tantalizing rear end that swished in front of his eyes as Kaden slowly climbed into the loft. He enjoyed the scenery the entire way up. He wanted nothing more than to push Kaden down into the hay and kiss him senseless again, but controlled himself because not only would he have to go take another cold shower like this morning, he might frighten Kaden.

With the horses in the barn, Logan set the punching bag up outside, to keep from spooking them when he hit the bag. Logan watched the eagerness in Kaden’s expression, and the way he seemed so ready to take his pain out on the inanimate object instead of himself. It made his heart swell inside his chest to know that the teenager had healed so much since he’d come to the ranch. He would have to make sure to call his cousin and thank him for sending the kid to him. They spent the rest of the afternoon with Logan directing him on how to kick and punch the bag, and sweat poured off of Kaden by then, but he had a big, happy smile on his face.

Kaden brushed his hair back from his face with the back of his hand and looked to Logan, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Logan asked, leaning on the fence nearby, just enjoying watching Kaden move.

“For helping me. For being there for me. It’s been… a long time since someone cared about me.” Kaden cast his eyes to the side, uncomfortable.

“Like I said, we are your family now. And we care for our own. If you ever need anything, just ask, Kaden. I’m serious.”

Nodding, Kaden looked back up at Logan, and then looked over at Mantacor. The horse stood near the fence, watching him and Logan warily, waiting to see if the man was going to do anything to him. Kaden looked around the ranch and back at Logan, awed that he’d gone from having nothing to having so much in such a short time. It made him fear losing it. But he held it to his heart, enjoying the comfort and happiness while it lasted. His experiences had always shown him it never lasted.

Another two weeks came and went, bringing roundup closer to an end. Kaden spent a good portion of his time when he wasn’t cooking using the punching bag that Logan had set up for him. It had become something of a ritual, and it made him feel good. Logan and Kaden spent most of their free time together whenever they weren’t busy with ranch work. Kaden had started to smile more and gained a bit more self-confidence in who he was and where he stood with Logan, though he had started to notice that Logan only touched him when they were alone. He almost went out of his way not to be too comfortable with him when Shea or the hands were around. The thought that Logan might be embarrassed of their relationship bothered him, but he tried to keep it to himself, not wanting to upset Logan. Maybe the cowboy wasn’t ready to admit to his friends that he was involved with another man. Kaden tried to concentrate on just enjoying their time together.

But he should have known better than to underestimate Logan. “What’s wrong?” Logan asked quietly one night while they were sitting in the living room watching a movie together.

Kaden looked up in surprise. “What?”

“Something’s wrong. I can see it in the look on your face sometimes, and it’s been bothering you for a while now. Tell me what’s wrong.” Logan stopped the movie and turned his body toward Kaden, taking his slender hand in his larger one, stroking his thumb over Kaden’s wrist, where the scars lay. The wristband had long since been removed.

His mind warring over whether or not he should say anything, Kaden sat there in an extended silence. Would Logan get angry at his stupid worries? Taking a deep breath and averting his eyes away from Logan, he tried to pull his hand away. But Logan held on firmly, and Kaden stuttered, “I… um… it’s just something stupid.”

“Nothing is stupid if it worries you. You can tell me anything, no matter how small or unimportant you may think it is. I want you to know that.”

“Well… I… just wondered if… maybe you were… um… ashamed to admit… to everyone that you’re… involved with me.” Kaden held his breath, his eyes still trained on a small spot on the carpet. He almost gasped when he felt a strong and warm hand slide beneath his chin, gently turning his head so that his gaze met Logan’s. Hurt shone clearly from Logan’s eyes, and Kaden let out the breath in a sigh of surprise.

Logan looked over the pale features of Kaden’s face, tracing the eyebrows, lush lips, and the scar with his gaze. Uncertainty shimmered in the bright violet depths, and he couldn’t deny he’d been hurt to learn Kaden would believe that. He supposed he could understand since he never really touched Kaden affectionately whenever the men were around, but it was more for the boy’s sake than anything else. “I would never be ashamed to admit that to anyone, Kaden. It pains me to hear you say that or that you’ve been thinking it for so long now without talking to me about it. I have only been thinking of you when it comes to the men and even Shea. I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable. I only want to further our intimacy when you feel you’re ready.”

Kaden watched as Logan’s lips twisted wryly as he continued speaking. “My body is feeling the strain, but no matter what, it’s up to you when we take it to the next level. Even if we never do, I will never ever pressure you for anything you don’t think you’re ready for.”

Kaden realized what Logan meant, and shame overcame him. He hung his head, looking down at where Logan’s hand still grasped his. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be. I told you, no matter what, I want you to talk to me. Promise me you’ll do that?” The cowboy’s voice had moved closer to his ear, and Kaden jerked slightly, turning his head to find his mouth no more than an inch away from Logan’s.

“I… I promise.” Kaden’s breath whispered across Logan’s lips, and struck with the urge to kiss the gentle cowboy, he leaned closer, aligning his lips with Logan’s.

He felt Logan’s immediate response in the firming of his lips, and their tongues danced over each other, pressing close before darting away to explore each other’s mouths. Kaden almost groaned when he felt Logan’s warm hand cup the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the heated kiss. He pushed further into Logan, reaching a hand out to tentatively caress the broad, muscular chest. He lightly trailed his fingers over the man’s collar bone, traveling lower to run over the hard pecs, and he felt Logan shudder when his palm accidentally brushed over one of his hard nipples. Teasingly, he did it again, enjoying the reaction it elicited from Logan.

Logan broke the kiss, panting with desire, his cock hard as stone, and he grabbed Kaden’s hand. “No more,” he pleaded, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the couch cushion.

Kaden moved to straddle Logan’s legs, causing Logan’s eyes to fly open in astonishment. “What are you doing, Kaden?” His voice came out rough with trying to rein in his lust, not wanting to scare Kaden with the depth of his passion for the boy.

Smiling, Kaden leaned forward, kissing Logan again, and he brought his hands down to continue with his previous actions. Logan clenched his hands on the couch beside his thighs, digging his nails into his palms to keep from grabbing the teenager and slinging him beneath him to bury his aching length deep inside him. He sucked in a deep breath when the back of Kaden’s slim fingers brushed over the bulge in his jeans. He grabbed Kaden’s hands, holding them away from him. Through gritted teeth, he said, “Stop. You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

“I do know,” the dark-haired teenager panted, his eyes glittering like amethysts with his own passion. “I… may not be ready for everything… but I want to do something for you, Logan. Please let me.”

Logan groaned in capitulation, releasing Kaden’s hands and gripping the slender thighs straddling his waist as Kaden started to kiss his neck, the small pink tongue flicking out to lave the saltiness from his skin. He almost let out a cry of relief when Kaden released his stiff prick from his jeans, but he couldn’t stifle the one he let out when those pale fingers wrapped around his flesh. The inexperienced fingers fumbled over his silken shaft before tightening and beginning to tug. He felt Kaden’s teeth nip at his throat before soothing it, his tongue dancing over his sensitive skin.

Kaden felt a wetness slide down Logan’s hard length, causing his palm to slicken against the cowboy’s cock. He continued to caress him, rocking his own hips forward. He felt Logan’s hands slide up his thighs to grip his ass, the long, thick fingers pressing into his flesh. A red heat flashed through him, and his breathing grew heavy. Sweat gathered on both of their bodies, glistening in the light from the lamp on the side table and from the TV screen, where the movie sat frozen in time. Kaden could feel Logan shuddering, and the muscles in his body tensing. His hand moved faster, tightening a little more, when he realized the blond approached his release.

Grunting, Logan arched from the couch, still gripping Kaden’s body in a punishing embrace, his come spilling across his and Kaden’s shirts, and the slim fingers still pleasuring him. Finally, he moved his hand to still Kaden’s, his cock overly sensitive after the hard orgasm. Kaden kept his face buried in the side of Logan’s neck, a flush of lust covering his cheeks. “Thank you,” he heard Logan breathe.

Neither of them moved for a long moment until Kaden felt Logan’s hands moving up to massage his back, slipping beneath his T-shirt. His eyes widened and he jerked away, almost falling off Logan’s lap and into the coffee table in his haste to get away. “Kaden?” Logan queried in astonishment.

“I… I’m sorry. I….” Kaden wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging himself as tight as he could. He didn’t want Logan to see his body. Such a beautiful man should not have to lay his eyes on such a monster.

Logan fixed his clothes before standing up to move over to the teen’s side. He placed a soothing hand on Kaden’s shoulder. “Did I move too fast?”

Kaden gave a furious shake of his head. “No,” he replied tensely, knowing that his answer wouldn’t appease Logan and that he would push him for a specific reason.

“Then why did you jump off of me like you were on fire?” the cowboy teased lightly.

“Be… because my body is disgusting.”

Before another word could be uttered, Kaden found himself swept up in Logan’s arms and brought back to the couch. Logan settled Kaden on his lap and started to rain little kisses all over Kaden’s face. “You could never be disgusting. You’re beautiful.”

“But—” Kaden didn’t finish what he’d been about to say when Logan’s lips descended on his, and then he felt Logan’s big hand sliding beneath the front of his T-shirt. He gave a mew of distress, trying to stop Logan.

“Relax, little one. I want to touch you. Like you touched me.” That honeyed voice dropped a curtain of desire over Kaden’s senses, and he relented, shame flooding his features when Logan pushed the hem of his shirt up, baring his stomach. He sucked in a sharp breath when he felt, for the first time, Logan’s hot skin against the smooth flesh of his belly.