Tortured Beginning (14 page)

I pull into Jaylah's driveway, glad to out of the hospital. It took longer to get discharged than I thought. I know they were busy, but I was hoping to get her home. It was another quiet ride, and I wish she would talk to me. I gave her, her space not wanting to smother her.

I park the car and we both get out of the car. She searches through her purse to find her keys, and finally does. I follow her up the path to her front door. I wait for her to unlock the door and she quickly turns her alarm off.

She turns to me, "You can leave now, I'm fine."

"I know you are fine, you keep telling me. But I'm staying."

She looks over to me, sighs and walks upstairs. I hear the shower turn on. I walk to her kitchen and open the frig to grab a beer. I go into the living room and throw myself down onto the couch. I grab the remote to the TV and start flipping through the channels.

"Just make yourself at home." I hear her say behind me.

"Thanks, I will." I smirk to myself, hoping she doesn't get to upset with me."

I glance over my shoulder to see her smile. She walks into the kitchen and I hear the frig open. I finish my beer and set the empty on the coffee table. I finally settle on a movie, something on HBO, not that I care.

"Here."

I look over to Jaylah and she is handing me a beer.

"Thanks."

I lean over to grab it from her. She walks around the coffee table to sit on the other side of the couch. She sits with enough space between us for someone else to sit. I hear her phone ding and she is looking at it, then texting someone. I don't want to be nosy, so I look back to the TV.

"It was Anne, she wanted to see if I was okay."

She looks over to me, I simply nod. I drink more of my beer and continue to watch the movie. Not that I could tell you what it was about. All I can see and feel, is her. She turns completely towards me and gives me a curious look.

"Do you want me to thank you, is that it?"

"No."

"Then what do you want, Trevan?" I can hear that she is getting upset.

"I didn't say I wanted anything, Jay."

She looks taken aback of my use of her nickname. I have never used it before, but I liked it. She sits there glaring at me waiting for something, so I shrug my shoulders and continue with the movie.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me? Now you are going to ignore me?"

I grab the remote and turn off the TV. I close the distance between us and put my face up to hers. She looks surprised, but recovers. She licks her lips, which is sexier than I think she knows. Hell she probably does know and wants to drive me crazy.

"I. Am. Not. Ignoring. You." I say each word, to make my point. I sit back on the couch and watch her reaction.

She smirks at me, "Then again, what the fuck do you want? What you want to fuck me?"

"NO! I only want to be with you. Is that so hard to understand, that you have to have it pointed out to you. It's not all about sex."

"Yes it is. I don't do this other shit, Trevan. That's not the kind of woman I am. And if that's what you want, find it some where else."

I sit there looking at her, not really believing what she is saying. She puts up strong walls, obviously hurt a lot in her life. I simply sit there and wait for her to decide what she is going to do with me.

"Stop sitting there staring at me," she sighs. Finally she throws her arms up in defeat, "Fine lets watch a movie."

"Okay. What do you want to watch, girls choice."

"You asked for it. I will go pop some popcorn first and I want to watch "The Holiday." It's in the cabinet under the TV."

She walks back into the kitchen and I go look for the movie. Great now I'm stuck watching a damn chick flick. I shake my head at myself, but glad she didn't kick me out. She has some strong walls up.

I throw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, and push the buttons. I grab a bowl, setting it on the counter, then grabbing two more beers as well.

What the hell am I doing? I know what I am doing, what I always do. But I'd rather not be alone tonight, so I go along with him staying. He is a good guy and there is no reason to treat him like shit. I'm mad at Ben, and myself for ever letting that asshat into my life.

I grab everything and walk back into the living room. He looks so god damn hot sitting on my couch. I hand him a beer and put the bowl between us. I curl up and he hits play on the blueray.

We lay there quietly for the first fifteen minutes of the movie. I sit here wondering why I picked this movie. I love it, but not how I'm feeling right now. I glance to my side to get a peek at Trevan and see that he is watching me. He smiles widely at me.

"Come here."

I sigh and close the distance between us. He pulls me close and I put my head on his chest. He grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and covers us. He wraps his arm around me and we settle in for the rest of the movie.

I wake up in Trevan's arms, still on the couch. I smile, loving the feeling of waking up to him. I gently move away from him, not wanting to wake him.

I walk into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. I run upstairs, to brush my teeth and use the bathroom. Once I get back downstairs, I see that he is still asleep on the couch. I walk to the sliding door, and walk outside to have a smoke.

I sit at the patio table and enjoy the sun on my face. That first cigarette is always heavenly, I know I should quit, but I actually love smoking. There are worse things I could do to myself, and believe me I have tried a lot of them.

I turn when I hear the sliding door open and Trevan step through. He is carrying two coffee mugs, and hands one to me.

"Thank you."

"I hope I made it right."

"I'm sure it's fine."

He nods and lights himself a cigarette.  He sits in the chair next to me and we sit in silence. I'm not sure how to act anymore, this is new for me, well in a long time. I haven't done this since Ben and I. That ended in disaster. We had such a great relationship in the beginning and look where that got me.

"Where are you?" Trevan asks, breaking me of my thoughts.

I shake myself, "No where."

"You know, you can talk to me. I won't judge you," he smiles sweetly at me.

I grab another cigarette and light it. I take a long drag from it and look over at Trevan. Damn, why does he have to be so fucking hot. Why do I feel so comfortable around him, like I might be able to have some normalcy. But what the fuck in normalcy, anyway.

"I was thinking about my relationship with Ben. It started off great and then look where I am now."

"That's the way most relationships start. Abusive or not, everything is great and then it's not."

"WOW. Such fucking wise words."

I look him in the face and neither of us can help, but laugh our asses off. It feels so good to laugh, I haven't done it in so long.

"You are so beautiful when you laugh. You should do it more often."

"Yeah, is that more of your wisdom."

We smile at each other, and I think maybe. Maybe I could let him in, a little.

"Do you want more coffee?"

He nods and I grab both of our mugs. I lean against the counter and fill our mugs. What a change in events. How freeing it is, knowing Ben is in jail right now. Plus having Trevan here, makes me feel so safe. I don't where things go from here with Ben, but I know it will be better.

I grab both mugs and walk back outside. I hand Trevan his mug and sit back in mine.

"So what are your plans today? Do you have to work?" I ask him.

"Well I'm taking today off. I wanted to spend the day with you. If that's okay?" he winks at me.

I smile back at him and nod. "That would be great. Let me get ready."

"Great. I will go home, shower and change. I'll be back to pick you up in about two hours."

I nod. We get up from the table, grabbing our mugs. Setting them on the counter, I follow him to the front door.

"See you in a bit."

I watch him walk down the path and into his car. I turn, shut the door and lean my back against it. I hope I am doing the right thing, by letting him. I will try a little at a time. I push away from the door and run upstairs to get ready.

I never thought I could have such a fun time going to the zoo, of all places. Trevan picked me up and informed me that's where we were going. I haven't been there since I was a kid. It was such a beautiful day to be outside. It was so strange to do something so normal.

I can tell that he is being very patient with me. When he grabbed my hand to hold it, I told him I had to us the restroom. I'm not one to hold hands and do all that lovie, dovie stuff in public. He didn't try again, thankfully.

Once we reach my house, I don't want the day to end.

"Want to stay for some dinner, or something?"

"Sure," he says with a chuckle.

We get out of the car and he follows me up to the front. I unlock it, walk in and throw my purse onto the floor. I make my way to the kitchen and open the frig to see what I have to eat. Trevan comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. I forget all about the food and turn into his arms. I kick the frig door shut with my foot.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to my lips. His tongue finds it's way into my mouth and I love the taste of him. We kiss passionately while his arms, work there way under my shirt.

We separate, and I try to catch my breath.

"We can order a pizza," he smiles back at me.

I nod and pull him to me again. He pulls my shirt off and undoes my bar. He throws both on the floor. He works to get my shorts off. Once he has them off, he quickly undresses himself. I watch him from the counter and my hands itch to touch him. He is so fucking hot, and I want to have my lips on him.