This Heart of Mine (16 page)

He grinned. “Why? If you’re as over me as you say, I should be easy to resist.”

He assumed she’d let it go at that, but she surprised him. “There’s always the possibility that I might use you for sex.” She smiled sweetly. “Seventeen years is, after all, a very long time.”

He could tell that she thought she’d gotten in the last word, which was why he didn’t allow her to have it. “If there’s someplace I can go to apply for that position, just give me a call,” he said, and had to laugh when her eyes widened in shock.

* * *

“You’re quiet today,” her mother said. “Any particular reason?”

Phoenix spoke over the sizzle of her mother’s dinner. It was a turkey burger, something a bit leaner than Lizzie was used to, but Phoenix wasn’t about to volunteer that. She’d stopped at the grocery store on her way home from breakfast. “Nope, just thinking.”

“About...”

“My business. I’m getting so many orders.”

Because her mother’s recliner was the only chair that could hold her comfortably, she’d long ago moved it into the kitchen, right by the table. It creaked as she shifted her weight. “How much have you made this week?”

Phoenix cast Lizzie a satisfied smile. “Enough that I’ll be able to pay that light bill you were worried about.”

It sounded as if Lizzie said, “Thanks,” but her words weren’t very clear. Gratitude didn’t come easily for her mother. Her voice was more strident when she added, “How’d it go at breakfast?”

After scrounging up a spatula from one of her mother’s messy drawers, Phoenix flipped the burger and sprinkled some salt and pepper on it. She had to serve Lizzie dinner earlier tonight than usual, so she could be ready for Jacob’s barbecue—not that Lizzie approved of her going over to Riley’s. She’d made that clear when Phoenix mentioned her plans but had finally dropped the subject.

“It was...enjoyable.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say?”

“What do you want to hear?” She couldn’t share what had really been going through her mind—the memory of those few minutes dancing with Riley last night and what he’d said to her at breakfast this morning.
I wanted to sleep with you.

“You could tell me about Jacob. He’s being nice to you, then?”

“I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how receptive he’s been.”

“Is he as handsome as his father?” Her mother was painting her nails again. She acted completely engrossed in that simple task, but Phoenix wasn’t fooled. Lizzie was far more interested in Jacob than she wanted to let on—especially now that Phoenix was getting to know him.

“
I
think so,” she replied. “He looks just like his dad.”

“And how does Riley treat you?”

Her thoughts reverted to the attraction they were both struggling to overcome. She didn’t want to tell her mother about it, but she was definitely concerned. Getting involved with Riley could ruin everything she’d begun to build with Jacob—if it went wrong. And she knew from experience that it was bound to go wrong. “I can’t complain. He picked up the tab this morning.”

A snort revealed Lizzie’s skepticism. “I don’t like him.”

“So you’ve said. But as long as I play nice, I’m sure he will, too.”

“He didn’t play so nice before.”

Phoenix tucked her hair behind her ears. “We’ve been over that, Mom. We have to let the past go.”

“Seventeen years in prison? You can let that go and head off to a barbecue at his house tonight?”

“My going to prison wasn’t his fault.”

“He testified against you!”

“He testified about my behavior at the time. And he told the truth. I did call him repeatedly, drive by his house, beg him to reconsider breaking up with me. I was distraught and too immature to know how to cope with losing him.” Not to mention the fact that her brothers had already abandoned her, and she was feeling that heartbreak, as well.

“Does he realize what he’s done?” Lizzie asked.

“I think so. He’s apologized twice.”

“Hmph.”

“You’d like him if you ever gave him a chance,” Phoenix said.

“As if he’d ever give
me
a chance.”

Phoenix didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say. Lizzie made it difficult for anyone to like her.

The sizzle from the frying pan filled the silence until Lizzie broke in again. “I finally heard from your brother.”

Phoenix couldn’t help her quick intake of breath. Although she was glad that Kip and Cary had been able to escape their situation and move on, she missed them. “Which one?”

“Kip.”

“What’d he have to say?”

“Not much. It was a short call. That’s all I ever get—if he even bothers at all. He’s glad you’re out.”

She got a plate and prepared the bun for her mother’s burger. “He say anything about Cary? Do they keep in touch?”

“They always have. He said Cary’s getting divorced again. Has two kids with this latest wife.”

“That’s four in total?” Four children she and her mother had never seen. But she was beginning to figure out that her brothers weren’t a whole lot more functional than their mother. “Can he support that many?”

“How would I know?” she replied. “He tells me he’s working, but it’s not as if he ever sends any money to help
me
out.”

Satisfied that the burger was cooked through, Phoenix removed the pan from the stove. “At least the guys seem to be getting by on their own. That’s something.”

“You’d think they’d consider their mother once in a while.” Lizzie said it gruffly, but Phoenix knew that was only because she was hurt by their neglect.

“They have other responsibilities,” she said. “Besides, we don’t need them. We have each other.”

Lizzie eyed her suspiciously. “Until you leave.”

Phoenix slid the burger onto its bun. “Why would I do that?”

“You’re starting to make money, aren’t you?”

“So?”

“So you’ll be able to get a car and move.”

“You think I’m here because I don’t have any other choice?”

“Why else would you come back? Your brothers never have.”

“I’m not like my brothers.”

Lizzie slipped a carrot through the bars of her hamsters’ cage. “Considering how this town has turned on you, you should go somewhere else. You could always drive back here to see Jake.”

“Would you move with me?” Phoenix asked, but she had no real hope. She knew what her mother’s answer would be.

“I’m too old and fat to go anywhere else. The people here may not like me, but they’ve grown accustomed to me. I don’t want to face a whole new town.”

“The devil you know is better than the one you don’t, huh?” she teased as she added a salad to her mother’s plate.

“I’m comfortable. Doesn’t make sense for me to go anywhere else.”

Her phobias prevented it. Phoenix understood. “Then I’ll stay with you,” she said as she put her mother’s dinner plate in front of her.

Lizzie didn’t look up. She kept her gaze fastened on her food. “You should go somewhere you can start over,” she said softly. “You’re young and capable of it. And I’m nothing but a pain in the ass.”

“Pain in the ass or not, you’re still my mother.” She gave Lizzie a quick, one-armed hug. She had no idea if she’d be rebuffed. Displays of emotion made her mother very uncomfortable. But Lizzie tolerated this one, and even muttered something about her burger smelling good.

Phoenix smiled as her mother began to eat. “Don’t worry about anything, okay?” she said as she let herself out so she could go change for the barbecue. She also had to finish the pasta salad she was planning to bring. She wanted to contribute to the meal, even though neither Riley nor Jacob had asked her to.

15

P
hoenix was impressed with Riley’s home. It was a nice three-bedroom, two-bath that he and Jake had built themselves, and it had a lot of upgrades—wainscoting, hardwood floors, a rock fireplace, wooden stair railings, stainless-steel appliances and gorgeous cupboards. She had to wonder what it would be like to live in such a place, couldn’t help envying them a little, especially when she walked out back and saw that they had a big yard with an expansive deck to go with the pool Jake had mentioned when he picked her up.

“Wow, this is gorgeous,” she said.

Riley was at the grill, but he turned to smile at her. He was proud, but not as proud as Jacob, who was showing her around.

“We put the pool in last summer,” Jake said. “We’ll have some fun parties when it gets warmer.”

He waved for her to follow him back into the house. “Come on. I’ll show you my room.”

She felt it might be too invasive to go upstairs, into the more private parts of the house, but Riley didn’t argue. He closed the hood on the grill and accompanied them up the L-shaped staircase as if he was also eager to see her reaction.

“What do you think?” Jake asked as they walked in to what was obviously a teenager’s room.

The furniture matched, which was a novelty to her. And there was a ceiling fan, a nice walk-in closet and autographed sports posters hanging on the walls. “You’re a lucky boy. That’s what I think. Your dad’s been able to give you so much.”

Her son shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around as if he was seeing it all through new eyes. “Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t good to have you in my life.”

Touched that he’d say such a thing when she had so little to offer him, she smiled. “Thank you. That was very nice.”

Her gratitude must have embarrassed him because he ducked his head and continued the tour. “This is my dad’s office,” he said as they entered the next room.

Riley’s office wasn’t as clean as the rest of the house, but it wasn’t dirty—just messy. From what she could tell, he ran a very successful business, and she was as happy for him as she was for Jacob. He’d had everything she lacked. But she’d always cared too much about Riley to wish him any less.

“How long have you had your contractor’s license?” she asked as her eyes wandered over the expensive computer system, desk and bookshelves.

Other than a brief hello, Riley had let Jake act as host, but he answered this question. “I was twenty-two. I got it just after graduating from UC Davis with a BS in Managerial Economics.”

“Managerial Economics?”

“It’s basically a business degree.”

She touched the smooth surface of the carpentry work. “What do you think has been more valuable to you? Your education? Or practical experience?”

“In construction, practical experience is more valuable in getting a job done. But there are plenty of good contractors out there who can build a house but can’t run a business. So...I’d say it takes both to make a living these days.”

“Which is why Jake is going to get his degree, too, right?” she teased, giving her son a nudge.

“That’s the plan.” He gestured across the hall. “This is my dad’s bedroom.”

She didn’t need to see Riley’s bedroom. She expected him to stop Jake and guide her back downstairs, to the living room and kitchen area. But he didn’t. And she didn’t say anything. She was too curious. Besides, they’d built all of this. They weren’t showing her what they could afford to have; they were showing her their workmanship.

Riley had a giant bed—bigger than any she’d seen before. Wooden shutters covered the windows and a set of French doors led onto a large balcony overlooking the pool. The design reminded her of something from one of the
Southern Living
magazines she’d enjoyed in prison—not only because of its size but because of the big ceiling fan that stirred the air overhead.

Jake took her through Riley’s bathroom and closet area next, which together were as big as his bedroom.

“It’s gigantic in here,” she said, half expecting her voice to echo off the marble floor and granite countertops.

“I was thinking about resale when I built it,” Riley explained. “I don’t need this much space, but most women would like it.”

“I’m sure they would.” She couldn’t resist comparing it to what she was living in. Her bathroom wouldn’t even take up half his closet. “You’ve done a really nice job.”

His eyes met hers. “Thank you.”

She pulled her gaze away. “And if you don’t sell it, I’m sure your wife, when you find the right woman, will love it.”

“
If
he ever finds the right woman,” Jake muttered. “It’s pretty hard when you don’t date.”

Riley didn’t immediately respond, so Phoenix tried to come up with a soothing rejoinder. “It can be difficult to meet someone when you’re out of college and in the work force, especially if you live in a small town.”

“Which means you’ll have the same problem,” Jake said with a scowl. “But there’s online dating. That’s how most people find a mate these days.”

“Most? I didn’t realize that.” She turned to Riley. “Do you meet the women you date online?”

He shook his head. “Never tried it.”

She opened the shower to see that it was big enough for two, with a bench and everything. “I haven’t, either, of course. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“It’s easy,” Jake said. “Like Facebook was. You caught on to that quickly enough. I could help you both get on Match.com.”

“Go ahead and act as matchmaker for your father,” she said with a laugh. “I think I’ll put off that sort of thing for a while. I’m not sure my profile would be too enticing, anyway—broke ex-con, hated by entire community, is looking for love while living in a dump and taking care of her severely dysfunctional mother.”

She laughed at the thought of someone responding to something so pathetic, but they seemed troubled instead of entertained. “Oh, stop,” she said. “That was humor. I’m fine. I’ll get on my feet eventually. And I’ll find someone when I do.”

“Why not find someone who could help you through it?” Jake asked. “You wouldn’t have to mention any of that stuff.”

“You mean I could lie, like everyone else?” She laughed again. “No, thanks.”

“You’re pretty,” her son said. “If you put up your picture, you’ll attract more than your fair share of guys.”

“Because most guys aren’t smart enough to know they should care about more than looks?” she joked.

“That’s not all you’ve got,” he argued. “There are a lot of good things about you, things that have nothing to do with the past.”

“I don’t need to tackle dating quite yet,” she said. “Your father should get his profile up, though. He’s way beyond me when it comes to marketability.”

Riley’s expression indicated that he wasn’t going for it. “I’m not ready for a dating site.”

“Do you want to stay single your whole life?” Jake asked.

He gave their son a playful slug in the arm. “No, but I’ll run my love life without your help, thanks.”

“Fine. I’ll help Mom when she’s ready. You want to get married, don’t you, Mom?”

She pretended to be fascinated with the gold knobs on the vanity. “Someday.”

“Do you want more kids?”

That felt like a strange question coming from Jake, but she was glad he seemed comfortable with the idea. “That would be nice if...if you don’t mind.”

“It’s not my decision,” he said.

“Time to talk about something else.” Riley led them out of the room. “The meat’s got to be done by now, anyway.”

Once they were back in the hall, Phoenix paused to look at various pictures of Jake growing up, and was surprised when Riley stopped, too.

“These are wonderful,” she breathed, completely taken with the images of her son all the years she couldn’t be with him.

“I should’ve sent you copies,” Riley said, his tone filled with regret.

“I understand why you didn’t. I bought a disposable camera at the grocery store earlier, hoping I might be able to get some pictures of him tonight.”

“I’ll send you copies of these, as well. I’ve already scanned them so I can easily email you the digital files.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

He went downstairs ahead of them.

“I don’t know why he won’t let me put up a profile for him on Match.com,” Jacob complained.

“Maybe he thinks it’d make him look desperate?”

“But
most
people his age date online.”

“You mean
our
age?” She winked at him. She couldn’t believe any woman would turn up her nose at a man like Riley. He was handsome, strong, charismatic, successful—everything a woman could want. Not that
she
could afford to see him that way. “We’d better go help,” she said.

A few minutes later, they were all on the patio, sitting around the picnic table with their plates full.

“Smells delicious,” she said as she pulled her spare ribs apart. She’d thought it would be uncomfortable to have dinner at Riley’s house, and it
had
been a bit awkward at first. He’d had seventeen years to build a good life, and she was just getting started. But as the meal progressed and they relaxed around the deck, talking and laughing and snapping pictures, she began to enjoy herself. They discussed Riley’s latest jobs, Jacob’s classes and friends, her business and all the changes that’d taken place at Whiskey Creek High and the town in general.

It was almost dark when they finally stood to clear the table.

“Dinner was great.” At that point, she expected one of them would say they should start the movie, but Riley said they should go for a swim and asked if she’d brought her suit.

“She doesn’t have one,” Jake said.

Phoenix spoke at the same time. “I’ll just watch you two.”

“You could wear something we have here,” Riley suggested.

She couldn’t imagine what they might have. They were both so much bigger than she was. “That’s not necessary. I’ll take a few more pics, and then I’ll wade on the steps.”

Riley didn’t get a chance to coax her. Jacob tried to push him into the water, and they began wrestling, each trying to gain an advantage over the other.

Phoenix took several pictures of them. Then she put her camera down, intending to walk to the far end by the steps. But when she realized how precariously Riley and Jake were balanced on the edge of the pool, how easily she could push them
both
in, she felt a rush of devilish excitement. With a sudden change in direction, she ran up and gave them a mighty shove—and they went over the edge with a startled cry and a big splash.

She was laughing so hard when they surfaced that she could hardly stand up. But she stopped laughing when she heard Riley say, “You go that way, I’ll go this way,” and saw the glint in their eyes. They were coming for
her
.

Her levity disappeared. With a panicked scream, she made a dash for the house.

“You want to play dirty, huh?” Riley shouted and caught her while she was trying to get the screen door open.

“I’m not wearing a swimsuit!”

They’d gone in with their clothes on, so he obviously didn’t care. Lifting her up with one arm, he hauled her back and Jacob stepped aside as he tossed her into the deep end.

Phoenix hadn’t gone swimming since she was a teenager, but she hadn’t forgotten how. She could easily have swum to the edge if she’d wanted to. Instead, she broke the surface, gulping and splashing as if she might drown.

She saw the panic that crossed Riley’s face a split second before he dived in to save her. But when he grabbed hold, she pushed him away.

“Phoenix!” he called, still concerned.

She laughed as she began to tread water. “Sucker!”

He flipped the wet hair out of his face. “You just about gave me a heart attack!”

She splashed him. “You’re the one who threw me in without asking if I could swim!”

“That does it,” he said, and dived, dragging her under by one foot.

After that, it was a splashing melee of one person trying to dunk the others. Jacob would drag her under occasionally, but more often they teamed up to get Riley. For the next fifteen or twenty minutes, they were struggling and laughing so much they could hardly breathe, let alone speak. Only when a voice called out to them from the deck did they stop.

“Hey, dude! What happened to you tonight?”

Gasping for air, they all broke apart and looked up to see Tristan.

“What do you mean?” Jacob asked. “Did we have plans?”

“You said you’d help me ask Amber to prom, remember?”

“Oh, right! We were going to put together that treasure hunt to surprise her. I’m sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s not too late, is it?” Tristan asked.

“Maybe not, but...”

He glanced at his father, and Riley waved him off. “I’ll take your mom home. Don’t worry. Go with Tristan.”

“Is that okay with you, Mom?” Jake asked.

She smiled. “Of course.”

“Thanks.” He swam for the edge but paused there, a happy yet tired smile on his face. “I had fun. I’m glad you came over,” he told her.

“So am I,” she said, and watched him walk into the house with his friend.

* * *

Phoenix started to get out, but Riley couldn’t resist dunking her one last time.

“That’ll show you who’s boss,” he teased.

She had far more drive and determination than he’d expected, and immediately tried to get him back.

They wrestled for several more minutes, until she ran out of strength. Then she said, “Much as I hate to admit this, you win, damn it.”

He laughed at her grudging concession. It was funny to him that she’d even try to best him, weighing about half of what he did. “So say it.”

“Say what?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Say that I’m more than you can handle.”

“I just did!”

“I want to hear it again. Say, ‘Riley, I concede that I am absolutely no match for you.’”

She gave him a saucy look. “You’ve heard all you’re going to hear.” He pulled her away from the edge of the pool, which meant she had to put her arms around him or go under. It was too deep for her to stand up. “Then you’ll have to give me a prize instead.”

“What kind of prize?”