Things Lost In The Fire (16 page)

“They only do if we let them.” He held her gaze, wishing to God he could erase all those years and go back to the place where they’d once been friends. Without the ignorance of childhood, everything seemed so radically complicated. “So will you stab me with your fork if I ask why you’re in town?”

She laughed, releasing the tension in her shoulders. “I can’t make any promises.”

His teeth flashed in a devious grin. “I’m willing to take the chance.”

“I’m sure you are…” she trailed off, wondering what she should tell him and how much he deserved to know. She had a basic story prepared just in case she ran into someone she knew, but this was Brody. He was one step below Tess on her list of trusted friends. At least, he had been eleven years ago. There was a time when she’d confided in him on everything—her parents’ divorce, her feelings of being trapped between them, her anger over being used as a weapon in their war against each other. Other than time, what had changed from then to now?

A lot, and yet not very much.

“If you don’t want to tell me, I can respect that,” Brody said, interrupting her thoughts. She heard the disappointment in his voice and felt sorry for it.

“No, it’s okay. I want to tell you.” She lifted her eyes to his, a sad smile softening her face. “My mother has cancer. She doesn’t have much time left.”

“Valerie Ryan is dying?” Stunned surprise hit him like a wave and left him speechless. The legendary singer of Albatross was on her death bed, and no one had any idea. The urge to break the news exploded in his veins and the opportunist in him nearly snatched it, but he held back. He couldn’t betray Sadie’s confidence, not now. Not if he was going to use her to get to the bottom of what happened to Lee Walker.

Sadie nodded. “I came down to help her. I don’t know how long I’ll be in town…as long as it takes, I suppose.”

“I didn’t realize you two had become so close.”

“We aren’t, really.” Sadie sighed, regret filling her at the thought. “But she doesn’t have anyone else.”

He could hear the sense of duty she felt and admired her for it. God knows he wouldn’t do what she was doing if it was his father on his death bed. He’d laugh all the way to the funeral, then make a spectacle and laugh some more just to spite the old man who never gave him the time of day. “That’s pretty damn noble of you, McRae.”

She rolled her eyes and fought back a smile. “Not really.”

The waiter arrived with their drinks and took their food order. Sadie welcomed the distraction as she tried to gather her thoughts. One look at Brody and she knew he was hungry for information. Hopefully it was just innocent curiosity and not copy for a headlining story.

Brody waited impatiently for the waiter to leave, then turned back to her. “So then how did you wind up onstage at The L.A. Rock Lounge?”

“Tess talked me into it,” Sadie admitted, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. “I sort of have a YouTube channel under my alias…”

“Seriously? I gotta look this up.” He reached for his phone but she stopped him, her hand grabbing his arm.

“No recording devices, remember?”

His eyebrows shot up, amused by her. “All right. Later, then. So tell me more about this alias. Pepper-something?”

“Piper Gray,” she corrected, pulling back her hand. She took a deep breath and attempted to relax. “It was just something I did for fun one day. My grandpa helped me record and edit the video so that my face isn’t really visible and I wear the wig and makeup. You’d never know it was me.”

“Except I did,” Brody reminded her. “But not everyone knows you the way I know you. We were best friends.”

“It doesn’t really matter now. I probably won’t perform again.” She sipped her iced tea, avoiding his eyes. “If I’m that easily recognizable, then it’s only going to be trouble.”

“Why have the alias at all? If anything, your name will only help you.”

She grew quiet. “Of all the people out there, I thought you would be the first to understand.”

He was caught off guard by the coldness of her tone. He reassessed his words, wondering how he’d upset her. When she lifted her face and he saw her hopeful expression, it clicked.

“Because the world only looks at you as the daughter of Ben McRae and Valerie Ryan.”

She nodded. “And the world only looks at you as the son of Max Odell.”

He absorbed her words, relishing the connection they shared. Suddenly it felt like he really was sitting across from the old Sadie, and they were sharing those feelings only the two of them could understand. The effect it had on him was troubling. “I’m surprised you remember all that.”

“I told you I remember you.” She smiled warmly. “Remember that one time we snuck off campus to get ice cream and your mom happened to be shopping next door and caught us?”

He laughed. “Oh, yeah. She wasn’t going to tell my dad but Chase ran his big mouth and got me in trouble anyway.”

Her expression softened. “Chase, wow. How’s he doing?”

“Living the good life. He works at the family firm, has a wife and a baby on the way. He got all the virtue and I got all the defiance.”

“I’m happy for him.” She took a moment to collect her thoughts when their food arrived. Curiosity got the better of her as she poured dressing over her salad. “So if I ask you to tell me about what happened overseas, will you stab me with your fork?”

“No, I suppose it’s only fair after the grilling I just gave you.” He winked and took a bite of his bleu-cheese burger, then groaned. “God, that’s good.”

“Isn’t it? I love this place.” She swirled her tea around in her glass and continued to stare at him. “So you were a photojournalist?”

He nodded. “It was the perfect gig. I got to see the world, meet new people, get knee deep in trouble and danger. Back home I had the fancy house, the nice cars. I even had an entourage.”

One of her eyebrows lifted. “Really?”

“Yep. People flock to money. They latch on and feed off it until it’s all gone, which was eventually what happened.”

“You lost everything?”

“Everything but my life.” He looked her in the eye, haunted by the memories. “My mistake got two soldiers killed. Every day I breathe is one more they’re missing. I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

“But it was only a mistake—”

“I know.” He pushed his half-eaten burger aside, not feeling hungry anymore. “Trust me, I’ve heard all the rationalizations.”

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered, wishing she knew what to say. Her hands tightened over the napkin in her lap. They sat in silence until she garnered the courage to speak. “Brody?”

“Yeah?”

The little flutters in her stomach went into overdrive mode, but she didn’t care. “I’ve missed you.”

Surprise flashed over his face the instant before he grinned. “I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but that’s okay, I’ll take it.”

“No, I mean it.” She averted her eyes, then grabbed a scrap piece of paper and a pen from her purse. She jotted down her cell phone number, then pushed it across the table to him.

He eyed the paper then looked back at her, brows raised. “I guess this means we get to do this again?”

She nodded. “Now you can call me instead of waiting around like a creeper outside my mom’s house.”

“I’m a reporter. Creeping is what I do.”

“I’d rather you be my friend.”

He pocketed the piece of paper. “I would, too.”

“Good.” Her face flushed again and she picked at her salad, exhilarated at her own courage. Then again, before
it
happened, she’d always felt so at ease around him. It was nice to slip into that mode again, where she could be herself and not be so afraid of the outside world.

“So how come you never said goodbye to me?”

She glanced up from her food, her lips parting in surprise. It took her a second to realize he meant eleven years earlier before she’d left for Lake Tahoe. “I wasn’t allowed to contact anyone.”

“But you stayed in touch with Tess.”

“Her dad was my doctor. They’re part of the family.”

Brody nodded. “I get that, I guess. And if Tess had liked me at all she probably would have kept me updated. I may have just been a hormonal seventeen-year-old kid, but I was worried about you.”

“I’m sorry.” Regret filled her when she saw the honesty in his eyes. “I really am. If I’d been able to—”

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter, right?” he interrupted with an easy grin. “You’re here now, and I intend to make up for lost time.”

“You do?” She blinked, a jolt of excitement shooting through her.

“Why don’t we head on over to the Pier? I bet it’s been forever since you’ve been there.”

“It has,” she replied, her head spinning. “But I really can’t. I told you before, I don’t want to give the press something to gossip about. My being here needs to be a secret.”

“So throw on the wig.”

She laughed, wishing she was brave enough to try it. “Apparently the wig wasn’t a good enough disguise. You found me out.”

“What are you afraid of, Sadie?” he asked bluntly.

“Everything,” she admitted with a nervous laugh. “I’m scared of the fact that I’m actually sitting here with you in L.A. of all places. I can’t believe I performed last night for a real audience that loves my music. I’m scared I’m going to wake up and this will all be a dream and—”

“It’s real,” he cut in, a spark in his eyes. “And the clock’s only ticking faster each day that goes by. Don’t you want to seize every opportunity? Don’t you want to live?”

The impassioned tone in his voice caught her off guard. She stared into his eyes, moved by the confidence she saw there. He believed every word of it.

“I guess.”

“Look, I can’t guarantee the press won’t have a field day when they find out about your mom, but I can guarantee that it won’t ruin you. It’ll pass just like every other headline out there. You’ll be okay.”

She nodded, wanting to believe him. Needing to. “Okay.”

“So you’ll come with me?”

“Not today. But maybe soon.” She smiled and hoped it was enough. “I have to go.”

He sat back in his seat and watched her slip from the table. “Don’t disappear on me again, McRae. This time I won’t let you go so easily.”

“I promise I’ll at least say goodbye before I do.” On impulse, she leaned in to kiss his cheek. Before he could reply, she’d slipped out the back of the restaurant.

He rubbed the spot her lips had touched, grinning like a fool.

A
FTER SADIE left, Brody hopped back in his car and headed up into Laurel Canyon again. His business there wasn’t finished. He needed to talk to Valerie. It was a long shot, but he was accustomed to lying in wait. She had to come out sometime, and he planned to catch her the second she did. And now that he knew Sadie wasn’t staying there, he’d be able to catch her mother alone.

The time hadn’t been right for him to pester Sadie about Lee Walker. If he’d broached the subject too soon, she’d be even more suspicious than she already was. And it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy her company. In fact, he had a better time than he’d expected to. Seeing her again reminded him why he’d been drawn to her in the first place. She made him feel like he wasn’t a bad person. She’d always looked for the good in people, even when everyone else thought they were worthless. He’d forgotten how much he enjoyed that about her.

He parked a ways up the street from Valerie’s house and exited the car. The sun hovered directly overhead, so he sought relief in the shade of a nearby eucalyptus tree. He leaned against the trunk and fixed his eyes across the street on Valerie’s driveway.

He didn’t have to wait long. After about an hour, he spotted the gate sliding open. A blonde woman wearing a long, coral-colored dress walked out onto the sidewalk, preceded by a fluffy white Pomeranian on a matching pink leash. Sunglasses and a wide-brimmed straw hat shielded the woman’s face from the sun and curious onlookers. But up here on her quiet street in Laurel Canyon, she clearly felt at ease.

Valerie smiled and cooed at her dog, who tried to rush ahead of her in ecstatic glee. Brody noticed her wince with pain as she moved, though she held her head high in defiance of what ailed her. It was obvious she had no intention of letting the world know she was dying. He had to admire her for that.