Things Lost In The Fire (14 page)

Maybe everything would be okay, after all.

Her thoughts drifted to Brody and had her biting back a grin. God, it had been good to see him again. She’d always wondered what happened to him, filled with regret that she’d never said goodbye. There just hadn’t been an opportunity. After her father had picked her up from the hospital the day after
it
happened, she’d been sent straight to Lake Tahoe. She never even got to start the new semester at school. What would’ve been her last few months of tenth grade at Harvard-Westlake were robbed from her, and all of her friends along with it.

The only person she’d been allowed to contact was Tess, and that was only because Tess’s father was the band’s private physician. He’d been friends with Ben McRae for years and had personally seen to her that night at the hospital.

She wondered if Brody had been worried about her when she disappeared. They hadn’t been best friends the way she was with Tess, but they certainly shared something she’d considered very special. Whether he felt the same, she didn’t know.

As the coffee brewed, Sadie leaned her hip against the counter and closed her eyes. She pictured his face in her mind and smiled. He hadn’t changed. He still had those dark waves of hair, carelessly combed, leaving strands to fall over his forehead. Those same sharp, angular features, more defined than the last time she’d seen him. She wondered if the events in the Middle East damaged him, darkened his spirit in a way that couldn’t be repaired. Perhaps it had. Though she didn’t know the full story, from what Tess had told her he must be riddled with guilt. How could he not be?

Then again, she didn’t really know him. Not anymore. The fun-loving, adventurous boy she’d known had become a man with a notorious reputation. Though he had always been a rebel, seeking attention and danger and not giving a damn about the what-ifs of any situation. Back then she’d been drawn to him for those qualities. They were everything she wasn’t. Everything she couldn’t be.

When they’d met, she was nothing more than a shy, naïve girl overshadowed by her legendary parents, and he was just a lawyer’s son prone to questioning any and all authority. They shouldn’t have been friends, not by the natural order of things. Yet he’d stumbled across her on the one day she’d ever sat in front of the Principal’s office. She’d been sent there by her English teacher who worried about her wellbeing, prompted by her lagging interest in school and her rapid drop in weight. It’d been a particularly stressful year dealing with the fresh wound of divorce, and she was suffering emotionally and physically. Brody had taken a seat next to her and launched into conversation as if they’d known each other all their lives. Talking to people came so naturally to him in a way it never had for her. He’d managed to cheer her up that day, and nearly every day that followed.

Sadie sighed, her eyes opening. The memory was bittersweet to her, both a reminder of the pain she’d suffered under her parents and of the hope Brody had given her. She’d even developed a little crush on him sometime during their friendship, but never had the courage to act on it. Just thinking about it brought a mysterious little flutter to her stomach that was not as unwelcome as it should have been.

She turned to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup, sipping it as she forced thoughts of Brody from her mind. She had to mentally prepare herself for the task of the day—taking her mother to her first chemotherapy appointment.

AFTER TAKING a shower and getting dressed, Sadie made the quick drive to her mother’s house. When she pulled into the driveway, Valerie opened the front door with a sunny smile on her face. She lifted her hand in a regal wave, looking like a queen emerging from her castle.

“How do I look?” she asked as Sadie rose from the car, doing a quick twirl to show off the cerulean blue dress she wore. It was layered with beads and embroidered flowers with a long skirt that danced as she moved. Her long waves of blonde hair shimmered in the sunlight.

“Lovely.” Sadie managed a smile, wondering why her mother felt the need to dress up for a doctor’s appointment. Then again, if she
hadn’t
dressed up, Sadie would think something was wrong with her. “Ready to go?”

“Of course, darling.” Valerie glided down the steps and approached the passenger door of Sadie’s Crosstrek, not looking at all like a woman dying of cancer.

Once they were both seated, Sadie pulled out of the driveway and onto the street. She flipped on the radio just to have something playing in the background. Sheryl Crow’s peppy hit “All I Wanna Do” poured out of the speakers but did little to soothe Sadie’s nerves.

She noticed her mother staring at her strangely from behind dark, oversized sunglasses. “Did something happen last night?”

Sadie’s heart leapt into her throat. She stumbled over different responses before settling on ignorance. “No. Why?”

“I tried to call you but your phone was turned off, and you have that glow to your cheeks that girls only get when there’s a guy involved. Are you seeing someone?”

“My phone died, and no, there’s no guy.” Unless she counted Brody.

“Liar.” Valerie seemed amused as she looked away. “That’s okay. I’ll fish it out of you sooner or later. I can be very persuasive.”

Sadie winced, choosing not to say anything else until they reached Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Her mother led the way into the cancer center building where they checked in and were sent upstairs to see the doctor. Sadie tapped her foot all the way up the elevator, nervous as a cat. By contrast, her mother seemed oddly calm and cheerful.

“I think we should go get our nails done after this,” she suggested, shooting a playful glance at her daughter. “And our toes, too. A little pampering will do us both some good. Then you can look pretty for your boyfriend.”

Sadie snorted, wondering what her mother would say if she knew her daughter hadn’t been on a date, but instead performed for a crowd at one of the hottest venues in L.A.

When the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, she saw her mother tense and her smile fade. She didn’t think Valerie would have the energy for a visit to the salon after the treatment, but decided not to mention it. She could respect her mother’s need to maintain normalcy, as unrealistic as it was.

After the meeting with the doctor—a kind, gray-haired man with a German accent and cold hands—Sadie sat in a chair beside her mother as the nurses hooked Valerie up to a machine that would pump cancer-killing drugs into her system. They inserted an IV into her arm and began the treatment before exiting the room. Valerie closed her eyes and grew quiet, leaving Sadie to wonder what was going through her mind.

They sat in silence for awhile, Sadie unsure what to say and Valerie either too tired or troubled to speak. It left Sadie with nothing to do but stare around the small room with its tea green walls and faux wood flooring, lost in her own thoughts.

Eventually she chanced a look at her mother, gazing at the woman with a deep sense of regret. In this moment of complete and utter vulnerability, she appeared so different from the woman Sadie thought she knew. The woman who for years had commanded an audience with her heavenly voice and powerful presence. Who rode up and down the rollercoaster of life without a second thought to risk or consequence. She’d taken control of her life and really
lived
, and doing so cost her only daughter everything. And now, perhaps in a twist of fate, karma was back to collect its due.

Sadie’s eyes became heavy with tears at the thought. She fought back the flow of emotion, not wanting her mother to see. Not wanting to think of this as retribution for what her mother had done, even though part of her couldn’t help but feel that way. Lee Walker would have never been around had it not been for Valerie. She’d brought that monster into their home and practically delivered him to Sadie’s bedroom. And for that she was paying the price.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to keep secrets from me,” Valerie said suddenly, her voice serious.

Sadie glanced up from the floor, catching her mother staring at her. “What?”

“Despite what Ben has told you all these years, I’m not your enemy,” she replied with a haughty frown. “I know I haven’t always made the best decisions. For one, I shouldn’t have let them take you away from me.”

“You didn’t have a choice,” Sadie reminded her, irritated that her mother still seemed to think she’d done nothing wrong. “They were going to throw you in prison.”

Valerie’s lips spread in a coy smile. “But they didn’t. If I’d fought a bit harder I could have retained custody. But
c’est la vie
.”

Maybe I didn’t want to stay
. Sadie thought the words but couldn’t say them, knowing they were true and knowing they would hurt. She didn’t have the heart to cause her mother any more pain than what she was already going through.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Sadie changed the subject. “How are you feeling?”

Valerie shrugged, glancing down at the IV. “I’m just praying my hair doesn’t fall out. Can you imagine
me
bald?” She laughed brightly.

Emotion swam through Sadie as she attempted a smile. “I have a wig you can borrow.”

“What do you need a wig for, darling? You inherited my beautiful hair.” Valerie reached out and ran her hand through Sadie’s long blonde strands, marveling at it.

Sadie realized she’d almost slipped and fumbled for an excuse. “It’s just something I got for Halloween one year.”

“And you brought it with you?”

Though her mother’s voice was light, Sadie could tell her attention had sharpened. She tried to shrug the question off. “Tess had mentioned a costume party so I brought it just in case.”

The nurse returned to check on Valerie, providing a much needed distraction. Sadie slipped from the room, needing air and a moment alone. Outside, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.

That had been much too close.

THE SECOND Brody stepped through his front door and dumped his gym bag on the floor, his cell phone rang. He lifted it out of his pocket, wiping sweat from his forehead as he checked the caller-ID. A scowl hardened his face as he answered.

“Well, shucks, Dad. I can’t remember the last time you called me. I’m honored.”

“
Don’t be. This isn’t a personal call, it’s a business one.
”

“Business, huh?” Brody kicked the door shut and tossed his keys on the kitchen counter. He made his way over to the sofa and collapsed into it. “If you’re offering me a job, I regretfully have to decline.”

Max scoffed audibly, causing Brody to roll his eyes. “
I’ve spoken with Mr. Lovett and informed him that it was you who took those pictures. He’s understandably outraged that someone connected to the firm would do such a thing and is demanding I fix this. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done
.”

“If it hadn’t been me, it would’ve been some other lucky schmuck who got the picture. Maybe your client should think twice before fooling around with Miss Gold in public.”

“
Maybe you should have had some sense and come to me before going to the tabloids. We could have worked out payment—
”

“Why Dad, that would be
illegal
,” Brody said with mock horror. “You wouldn’t want me going to jail, would you? Oh wait, who am I kidding? Of course you would.”