The Sexy Vegan Cookbook (29 page)

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Authors: Brian L. Patton

BOOK: The Sexy Vegan Cookbook
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1 tablespoon nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

1 teaspoon chili powder

1 teaspoon black salt

½ teaspoon cumin

½ teaspoon dried oregano

¼ teaspoon turmeric

¼ teaspoon pepper

Whisk all ingredients together, and store in an airtight container.

BLACKENED SEASONING

Use this rub when grilling seitan, tofu, tempeh, or veggies. As with my other seasonings, make extra.

Makes approximately 5 tablespoons

1½ tablespoons paprika

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon unrefined granulated sugar

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

Whisk all ingredients together, and store in an airtight container.

PARMESAN TOPPING

Use this on pastas, salads, and pizzas, and if you want your dog to look at you funny, sprinkle a little on her head.

Makes 1 cup

½ cup coarsely chopped raw walnuts

½ cup nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

Salt

Preheat the oven to 350°F, spread out the walnuts on a baking sheet, and toast them in the oven for 5 minutes. Take them out and let cool.

In a food processor or blender, grind the toasted walnuts into a meal. Scrape down the sides of the container if necessary, and then add the nutritional yeast and a pinch of salt. Pulse a few more times until the ingredients are combined. Store in an airtight container.

HOLLANDAZE SAUCE

While this
sounds
like a menu item you might find in a cafe in Amsterdam, it is nothing more than a creamy sauce that’s perfect on broccoli, asparagus, or a Morning Benediction (see recipe,
page 48
).

Makes 1
cups

One 12-ounce package soft silken tofu

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

¼ teaspoon mustard powder

¼ teaspoon turmeric

¼ teaspoon black salt

¼ teaspoon paprika

2 tablespoons vegan margarine, melted

Sea salt and pepper

In a food processor or blender, combine the tofu, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, mustard powder, turmeric, black salt, paprika, and margarine, and process until smooth. Season with sea salt and pepper to taste.

CASHEW RICOTTA

Stuff this into anything that ends in the letter
i.

Makes 3 cups

2 cups whole raw cashews

One 14-ounce can artichoke hearts, drained, rinsed, and roughly chopped

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 cup water

1½ teaspoons salt, plus more as needed

1 clove garlic

1 heaping tablespoon nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

Pepper

In a medium pot, cover the cashews with water, and boil for 8 minutes to soften them up. Drain and let cool. In a food processor or blender, process the cashews until they’re finely ground. Add the artichokes, lemon juice, water, salt, garlic, nutritional yeast, and oil, and puree until smooth. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

NOT-ZZARELLA SAUCE

Put this on pizza or a fake-meatball hoagie. (I’m thinking that
hoagie
is the fattest word in our lexicon.
H-O-A-G-I-E.
It just sounds fat in every way.)

Makes 3½ cups

1 cup whole raw cashews

One 12-ounce package soft silken tofu

¼ teaspoon mustard powder

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon onion powder

½ teaspoon yellow miso

½ teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon dried basil

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast (see WTF,
page 27
)

cup water

In a small pot, cover the cashews with water, and boil for about 8 minutes to soften them up. Drain and let cool. In a food processor or blender, process the cashews until they’re finely ground. Add the tofu, mustard powder, garlic powder, onion powder, miso, salt, oil, basil, nutritional yeast, and water. Puree till the sauce is as smooth as Kenny G’s sax licks…and that’s pretty goddamned smooth.

SMOKED CHEDDAR SAUCE

Top some french fries with the chili topping (see
page 206
) and drizzle this over it. Oh damn! I just did that thing when saliva involuntarily squirts from the back of your mouth and goes like 2 feet. I knew a guy in college who could do that at will. He was cool.

Makes 3½ cups

1 cup whole raw cashews

One 12-ounce package soft silken tofu

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon onion powder

¼ teaspoon turmeric

¼ teaspoon liquid smoke (see WTF,
page 32
)

½ teaspoon yellow miso

½ teaspoon paprika

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon mustard powder

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

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