The Secrets That We Keep (23 page)

“How do you know this?” he asks, eagerly.

“I spoke to Julian and he told me. He also sent me a clipping of his obituary. I just found out myself. We don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Lucas stays quiet for a little while, soaking in the information I’m
sure. I wonder if he’ll want to move back to Chicago. I also wonder if he’s going to question mine and Julian’s relationship again.

“I’m glad to hear that he’s gone. I know that probably sounds terrible, but I won’t miss him. You said you wanted to visit Chicago, are you at all thinking about moving back?” he asks.

“I did want to visit because I want to see Jade and not be alone on New Year’s Eve, but she reminded me of the terribly cold weather, and I definitely don’t miss that.”

“I see. What about Julian? Do you want to see him?” he asks. There isn’t any viciousness or disgust in his voice
, either.

“I do want to see him. I want to see everybody. I want to see you too, Lucas.”

“Well, maybe we can make it happen,” he says excitedly. “I just don’t know when I’ll be able to make it. Also, you realize this means I’ll need an exact address for you, right?”

“Oh, who said we were going to be meeting here? Maybe we’ll meet at your place,” I say playfully.

“I’m cool with that.”

“Yeah, well you just need to let me know when you’ll be able to get some time for yourself and we’
ll plan something,” I say with my own excitement.

“I will definitely do that. A
nd hey, Bell, you sound happier. I’m glad. That’s all I’ve wanted for you…to be happy…no matter what it is that makes you happy.”

“Thank you, Lucas,” I say softly.

“You bet. I’ll let you go for now. I’ll be in touch.”

“Sounds good.
Take it easy!”

“You too.”

When I end the call, I think back to what Lucas said about me being happy and can’t help but think he was talking about Julian. In some way, I feel like he was giving me his blessing to move forward with Julian again and that puts a smile on my face. Lucas was always good at doing that.

I
t’s Christmas Eve and I’m sitting here on my couch wearing some red, green and white striped pants with a red shirt that has Rudolph on it. I’ve always loved wearing festive pajamas. When it’s Halloween, I wear orange and black pajamas that have pumpkins or bats on them. I’m a big holiday person. Every year, I’ve made Julian buy some ridiculous pajamas to wear with me. He made sure to grumble about it while we were shopping, but I don’t think he hated it as much as he put on. We’ve enjoyed our Christmas mornings wearing our ridiculously festive pajamas and I even bought him a Santa hat. He was the sexiest Santa whose lap I’ve sat on.

Even though I’m alone, I still want to wear my pajamas and watch a marathon of Christmas movies until I
fall asleep and that’s exactly what I do.

When I wake
up, it’s to the ringtone of Carol of the Bells. I blindly reach for my phone and answer it without looking at the screen.

“Hello?” I answer with a scratchy voice.

“Good morning, sleepy head!” Jade screeches from the other side of the phone. “Merry Christmas!”

I make a couple grunting noises as I move around and try to clear my throat.
“Merry Christmas. It’s too early. What time is it?”

“It’s never too early on Christmas!” Jade says excitedly.

“You’d think you were a kid. Why are you so excited? You do know that Santa isn’t real, right?”

“Well aren’t you being a scrooge this mornin
g,” she says with a laugh. “I just wanted to wish my best friend a Merry Christmas. Geez.”

“Sorry, Jade. I’m still asleep I think.”

“I can tell. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!”

She hangs up before I can respond. I drop the phone next to me and curl up so I can try to fall back asleep. I think I get about fifteen minutes before the phone is blaring again.

“Hello?” I mumble into the phone.

“
Feliz Navidad, Bella.” Julian’s deep, sensual voice just flows through the phone and instantly wakes me up. I’ve always had a thing with accents but his takes the cake. I’ll never get enough of it.

“
Mmm,” I moan into the phone while stretching my body.

“Did I wake you?” He asks with a slight chuckle.

“No, it’s fine. Merry Christmas.”

“
Well, I just wanted to talk to you this morning and let you know that I do have some presents for you. I’m just sorry that they couldn’t have been there earlier so you could have them under your sad little tree.”

I laugh into the phone. “That’s okay. Although the presents would have made the tree less sad, it’s fine. Thank you for thinking of me. I sent you some as well
, but I’m guessing they haven’t arrived yet.”

“No, I haven’t gotten any packages, but that’s okay.”

He suddenly clears his throat very loudly but I thought I heard something else in the background before he did.

“So, are you at home?” I ask.

“Uh, no. I’m out grabbing some coffee right now.”

“Oh.”

“Well baby, I’m going to go home soon and want to be able to see you, so get up and get ready to Skype me. We can spend Christmas morning together that way.”

“Okay, I’m getting up now. Talk to you soon,” I say happily into the phone. I hear him laugh and say bye but I’ve already pulled the phone away from my ear and I click the button to end the call.

I quickly take a shower and actually take the time to blow dry and straighten my hair. I decided on curling the ends a little bit and throw on some makeup. I wear another pair of Christmas pajamas because I know I won’t be leaving the house anyway. I decide on a red pair of pants that have candy canes and penguins on them with a plain white tank top and I throw on a reindeer antler headband just to make sure he laughs.

I rush to the kitchen and start making some coffee and briefly think about making some breakfast but because I took a while with getting ready, I don’t want to be cooking when Julian calls.

I go grab my laptop and open it up so I can sign into Skype. I leave it open on the kitchen table, sit down and begin waiting. Fifteen minutes goes by and Julian still isn’t signed in. I decide to just go ahead and make breakfast. My scrambled eggs are done first and the bacon is still sizzling in the pan. I grab some bread to pop in the toaster when my doorbell rings. I turn the heat down on the bacon and run to the door. I figure it’s probably Meghan. I know she didn’t go home to her family because they were having some sort of family feud. I pull open the door and my jaw drops. I don’t know whether to cry, scream, or laugh.

Standing at the door are
Jade and Michelle, and they are both wearing matching Christmas pajamas. Jade is wearing a red and white striped long sleeved shirt and pants while Michelle is wearing the same except green and white. I look down and see that they both are also wearing elf shoes. I start laughing and crying at the same time. I try to play my tears off as me just laughing too hard, but I’m so happy to have my friends with me on Christmas. I haven’t seen them in so long and this is the best time for them to come. They both rush me and we have ourselves a three-way hug.

“I can’t believe you guys are here!” I squeal. I look pointedly at Jade “You said you wouldn’t be able to get off work!”

She shrugs and gives me a wide smile. “I was able to get off after all.”

I playfully scowl at her and then turn towards Michelle and wrap her in my arms. This is the first time I’ve seen here since before she went missing. I’ve been through so many emotions when it comes to her because I feel like what happened to her is my fault. She’s never blamed me for anything, but I can’t help but feel like if it wasn’t for me she would have never had run into Cyrus.

As we hug, I feel the tears forming in my eyes. She pulls away and her eyes are glistening as well.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” she says softly.

I nod and she gives me a small smile. I know we’ll talk more later.

“I see you’re not being a scrooge anymore,” Jade says while eyeing my Christmas apparel.

“You know I’m not a scrooge! I was just half asleep, but I’m glad you girls remembered my thing for ridiculous Christmas pajamas.”

“Ridiculous? We look fabulous!” Jade exclaims while pretending to do some sort of fashion pose. We all end up breaking into a fit of laughter.

“We do have a couple of presents for you,” Michelle says.

“
Oooh, presents?” I ask.

“Of course presents! We left them with our luggage.” Jade says, walking back towards the open door.

“Oh crap! My bacon!” I cry.

I run into the kitchen and I’m grateful that I had at least turned the heat down on the bacon. It’s really crispy b
ut at least it didn’t start smoking. I turn the heat off and move the pan further back. I’ll get back to breakfast later.

I get back to the front door and once again, my jaw drops and my stomach does a flip. Julian is standing there in the doorway and when he looks up and sees me, he sends me a heart stopping smile that shows off his perfectly straight, white teeth. I almost forgot just how handsome he is. I can see his warm caramel colored eyes sparkling with mischief. I know instantly that he organized this whole trip. My eyes travel to his body and I finally notice his loose fitting red and white plaid pajama bottoms and red T-shirt
that is stretching across his bulging muscles, but what tops it all is the Santa hat that I bought him, sitting perfectly on his head.

I realize that I am frozen in place, gawking at this beautiful man. I snap out of it and literally run towards him with a big smile on my face. He begins laughing and when I am close enough, I throw my body onto his and wrap my legs around his waist
. His hands instantly cup my ass and my arms go around his neck. I bury my face into his neck and breathe in his scent. I feel his lips softly kiss my neck and then I feel his breath near my ear.

“Merry Christmas, Bella. I hope you aren’t mad that we just showed up,” he says quietly.

I begin to softly sob into his neck and I feel one of his hands start rubbing my back.

“I’ve missed you so much, Julian. Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

“I’d do anything for you, but I won’t lie and say it wasn’t for me too,” he says with a chuckle.

I pull back to look at him and laugh. “Thanks for being selfish too.”

He smiles at me and then leans in and gives me a soft and small kiss on the corner of mouth.

“
Uhh, hello? We’re standing right here,” Jade quips. “I know this is a much needed reunion, but can you save the lovey dovey stuff for when you’re alone?”

Julian and I laugh and he places me back on my feet. I turn around to face the girls and they’re both smiling at me. Jade throws me a wink and I know even though she’s giving me a hard time, she’s really happy for me.

I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I look at three of the most important people in my life.

“You guys have no idea how happy I am right now. I can’t believe you all flew all the way out here and in those pajamas!” I laugh.

“You have no idea how many crazy looks we got, but we also made a few people smile and laugh,” Michelle says.

“I love you guys,” I say, looking at each of them. When I look at Julian, he has
a small smile that melts my heart.

“And we love you!” Jade yells.

Julian grabs the luggage and pulls it into the living room and closes the front door.

“Who’s ready to open presents?” he asks.

“Who’s ready to eat?” Jade asks from the kitchen.

Julian laughs. “Okay, I guess we can eat first.”

We all go to the kitchen and Julian and I end up cooking breakfast for us all while Michelle and Jade tour the apartment and hang out on the deck outside, enjoying the warmer weather. It feels just like before, us moving around each other perfectly, making another meal together. He keeps slipping me adorable smiles and winks. He’ll occasionally rub up against me which causes my heart to race. He claims it’s all accidental but I doubt his front rubbing up against my back in this spacious kitchen is an accident, especially when it happens more than once. I won’t complain though.

After breakfast is made, we call Jade and Michelle back in and all sit around the table to enjoy some eggs, bacon, toast, smoked sausage, fried potatoes and tortillas. I always have to eat my eggs with tortillas.

While we were eating, I decided I wanted them all to stay here with me. I only have two bedrooms but we can make it work. I couldn’t imagine sending them all away to go find a hotel to stay in. I’ve been alone for long enough, and want the company for as long as I can get it.

After we’ve finished eating, Jade and Michelle excuse themselves and say they are going to go unpack some of their things. I know it’s mostly just to give Julian and I some alone time
, and I appreciate it.

“So
,” Julian says as he looks around the room.

“So,” I repeat, watching him.

“This is a nice place.”

“Thank you. I got lucky in finding it.”

He nods his head and then looks at me. We stare at each other for a little while without saying anything. I know eventually we’ll have to have another talk about our relationship and what’s going to happen, and if I plan on moving back and when. I just don’t know how to start it and I don’t want to start it right this second. Maybe once the girls are asleep, or maybe tomorrow we can go out somewhere to be alone.

Julian’s phone beeps and he looks at it briefly before putting it on the table.

“I have another surprise for you,” he says, looking a little nervous.

“Besides the presents?”
I ask.

“Yep.
I hope you’re okay with it.”

“I’m sure I will be. I can’t imagine this day getting any better
, though.”

“Well, we’ll see. Stay right here and I’ll be right back.”

Julian walks off and I stare after him. I’ve missed being around him so much. While he’s off getting my surprise, I decide to clear off the table and start loading the dishwasher. Once I’ve gotten the counters in the kitchen wiped off, I turn around and head back to the dining room table. Sitting at the table is Lucas.

“Oh
my gosh! Lucas! What are you doing here? How did you get here? I can’t believe you’re here!”

Lucas
laughs and gets up to walk over to me and gives me a hug that lifts me off my feet. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him back. When he puts me down, I look past him and see Julian standing there. He gives me a smile and then walks away.

“Did Julian ask you to come here?” I ask.

“Yeah. I hope you aren’t mad. He wanted to have this whole reunion for you and I couldn’t say no.”

“I can’t believe it. Are you guys…friends now?”

Lucas throws his head back and laughs. “Uh, I don’t think I’d call us friends, but we don’t want to kill each other,” he says with a cheesy grin.

“Ha
ha, funny,” I say, playfully scowling at him.