The Secrets That We Keep (17 page)

As Lucas is talking, my mind i
s reeling. I was with Julian that night and I had completely forgotten that I had seen him talking to Lucas. How could I forget that? I know there was a lot going on. I was going crazy with stress and worry, but how could I forget something like that? I never questioned Julian what they were talking about.

“Anyway, I know you keep saying that you made the right decision and that you and Julian are happy
. However, I just happened to remember that evening and was hoping that you would have been there so that maybe you’d believe me. Isn’t it obvious now that Julian, or as we know him, Michael, was working with us? If he wasn’t, why did he stop and talk with us about you?”

“I…I was there,” I stutter. “I remember seeing you before you walked away. I can’t believe I forgot about that.” I rub my hand across my forehead trying to make sense of this. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? Maybe he was telling you guys to back off. He told me that you two didn’t like him because he had been investigating you
, and you were only bothering me to get to him.”

Lucas lets out a humorless laugh. “Bell, I thought you were smarter than that. He’s lying to y
ou! He’s never investigated me. Cyrus maybe, but I know he hasn’t investigated me. If anything, I’d be guilty by association. I haven’t been hanging out with the right kind of people, but I’m definitely not doing what they do.”

“So he never told you to back off?”

“He might have said to back off, but not because he just thought of us as stalkers. He told us to back off because he was afraid we’d kill you before he did. He was insistent that he had it planned out and that we needed to be patient. I was fine with that because I had planned to get to you and make you leave with me regardless. Cyrus was the impatient one.”

“What do you mean you were going to make me leave with you?”

“Once we had located you and I knew that there was no way for us to un-find you, I hatched a plan to get you away from there. I didn’t know at the time your husband was the one who was going to kill you. That was all pure coincidence. When I had you at the apartment, I was going to make sure you left with me, but you ran away instead. I’m only trying to protect you, Bell.”

“So you were going to forcefully abduct me and make me runaway with you?” I yell.

“Hell yes I would have! Anything to keep you alive, but you had to fucking sneak away from me. I was hoping you wouldn’t be married, I was hoping it would be easy. I know it’s fucked up, but I could only think about keeping you alive. Cyrus would have killed you, your husband still plans on it, I know it. You have to trust me.”

“I don’t know, Lucas.”

“What’s your husband’s middle name?” he asks.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I snap.

“Just answer the question.”

I let out a frustrated sigh.
“Miguel, why?”

Lucas is silent for a while and I’m almost certain that the call has disconnected but he finally speaks up.

“Bell, Miguel is the Spanish translation of Michael.”

I’m instantly reminded of his secret email
address; it was MiFlor@hotmail. Mi was short for Miguel, or Michael and Flor is short for my maiden name, Flores. How the fuck did I not realize this before? I try to think back to those emails that he had. One was from a Walk something or other and the other one was Virus something. Cyrus…Cyrus the Virus?

“Lucas?”

“Yes?”

“Does Cyrus call himself the virus?”

“Yeah, he got his name from that one movie. Why?”

“I remember seeing an email from him to my husband
,” I say quietly.

“
A
nnabella, get out of that house right now,” Lucas demands. “I’m on my way back there and I will pick you up but you need to leave right now and find somewhere to stay.”

“Lucas, I just…I can’t believe this. Everything has been so good lately. We’re happy, we’re in love. I…I can’t see him being this different person.”

I hear him let out an exasperated sigh before responding to me. “Look, I know. This has got to be tough, but you can’t deny it now. You have to believe me, Bell.”

“Okay, I’ll head to a hotel for tonight and then go from there.”

“Great, hurry up. Don’t pack, just leave right now. I know he isn’t there since you thought I was him when I called. Grab your keys and get out of there before he gets home.”

“Okay, I’ll call you when I get to the hotel.”

“Yes, please don’t forget. Thank you for trusting me, Bell.”

“I’m not saying that I trust you. I have to go. Talk to you later.”

I have to go back upstairs to at least get some pants on because I refuse to walk into a hotel with just a shirt and panties on. Once I’m in the bedroom, I throw on some jeans and tennis shoes and grab the charger for my cell phone. I run back downstairs and when I get to the table by the front door, I grab my purse and my keys and reach out to turn the door knob but before I touch it, the door swings open and Julian is standing on the other side.

“Where are you going at this time
of night?” he asks, stepping over the threshold.

I’m not sure how to play this. Maybe it’s best to act like everything is normal and then somehow get out of the house later. If I run now, he’ll only chase me and I know I can’t outrun him.

“I was just going to look for you, I was worried and you didn’t leave a note. Where have you been?”

He’s face to face with me, his nose only inches from my own and he pauses for a minute before deciding to respond.

“Where were you going to go look for me at if you had no idea where I was?” he asked with one eyebrow raised and a bit of a smirk on his face, like he was challenging me to come up with a good answer.

“I don’t know, Julian. I was just going to drive around and make sure you hadn’t been in an accident or anything,” I lie. “Where were you?”

I’m trying to stay calm and keep the fear off of my face but I don’t think I’m doing a good job. I try to move backwards inconspicuously and I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. He seems to be studying me and my movements which only makes me more nervous, so I figure I need to do a better acting job.

“I received a call while you were asle
ep and was told some information about a guy I’ve been keeping under surveillance and they thought I should check it out so I did.”

I doubt this is the truth
, but I’m not trying to fight with him about it so I decide to make him think that I believe him. I try to force a smile on my face.

“Oh, well okay, I just wish you would have let me know so I wouldn’t have been so worried about you,” I say as I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I’m trying to be as normal as possible but I feel like my body is obviously tense and I quickly step back from him.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to wake you up,” he says stiffly. “Plus, I left my phone here.”

I try to think of something that will give me a chance to get out of the house but when I glance at the clock, I notice that it’s only a little after four thirty in the morning and I know there’s no reason I can come up with that would be good enough to leave at this time.

“That’s okay, why don’t you go up and get some sleep, I’m sure you’re tired,” I say, hoping and praying that he is absolutely exhausted and will pass out in a matter of minutes.

He walks past me towards the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“Aren’t you tired? Won’t you come up to bed with me?” he asks.

I’m thinking there’s no way in hell am I going to sleep next to him now and I hope the disgust that I feel doesn’t show on my face.

“Oh, I think I’m too wound up to go to sleep right now. I may just get a snack and watch some TV for a while.”

He turns his back and opens the fridge again and that’s when I notice something on the back of his neck. I can’t quite tell exactly what it is from where I’m standing but I’m too nervous to walk any closer to him to
get a better look. I take a several steps forward and put my purse down on the counter, all while staring at the back of his neck. It looks to be some sort of cut because I can see some redness and perhaps a little bit of blood. He quickly turns around and pins me with his eyes and I try to look away as quickly as possible.

He studies me and then stalks in my direction with a determined look in his eyes. I try to give him a smile
, but I’m positive that it doesn’t come across as genuine because I am terrified right now.

“Well, you can get your snack and watch TV in the room with me,” he says huskily.

Shit, I can’t keep coming up with excuses to stay away from him or he’s going to really become suspicious if he isn’t already. He’s never cared before if I’ve stayed downstairs to watch TV so I can’t help but think my body language is giving me away and he knows that I’m frightened of him.

“Yeah, I guess I can do that,” I say with another forced smile but he doesn’t return it. He only continues to watch me. “I’ll go ahead and pick something out and then meet you up there,” I try to say in a cheery voice and start walking towards the pantry.

He never responds to me and I don’t hear him walking away so I’m sure he’s standing in the same spot, staring holes into my back as I pretend to be looking through the food for something to eat. The last thing I can think about is eating but I’m too afraid to turn around and look at him.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you soon then,” he says, finally responding to me. I turn my head and look over my shoulder and see that he’s slowly walking out of the kitchen
, but his eyes are trained on me.

“Okay,” I say weakly and quickly turn my head back towards the pantry.

I stand there until I hear the floor creaking above me and know that he’s getting closer to the bedroom. I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I finally hear the shower turn on because I know this will give me a good head start before he realizes I’ve left. I turn and run and grab my purse off the counter and start speed walking to the front door but it’s then that my phone decides to let out the loudest shriek it’s ever made. I’m sure it’s the normal volume it usually is but right now, in this moment, it seems like it could have been heard next door. I fumble through my purse trying to find it so I can quiet the damn thing and luckily it only gets half way through its second ring before I find it. It’s Lucas and I immediately hit the answer button because I know I need to at least let him know that Julian made it home before I could get out.

“Hey,” I whisper into the phone. “Julian’s here, I’m
about to walk out the door now. Call you soon.”

I hang up before he can respond and open the front door.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” the harsh voice behind me roars.

I
freeze, unable to turn around and face him because there is no excuse for me to be frantically running out of the house after just telling him that I’d meet him upstairs. Not only that, but I’m pretty positive that he heard me on the phone too, and I have no explanation prepared for any questions he may ask.

“Answer me,
Annabella. Where were you running off to and who were you telling about me being home?” His voice is harsh and demanding and part of me is thinking I should just make a run for it and hope I can make it to my car before he reaches me but before I can put any more thought into it, he reaches around my stiff body and slams the door.

Slowly, I turn my body and face
/him and realize he is only inches away from me and I unconsciously take a step back.

“Uh… I was talking to Jade, she…she needs me ri
ght now.” I know it’s a terrible lie as soon as the words leave my mouth because my voice is shaky and I’m avoiding eye contact at all costs.

His presence is suddenly terrifying
, whereas before I used to take comfort in his size because I felt safe, now it’s absolutely intimidating. He’s shirtless because he was about to get in the shower so I can see his muscles tensing as he is flexing his fingers down at his sides and because he’s taller than me, his head is angled down to watch me. I feel like I’m some sort of prey that is about to be pounced on by its attacker.

“Give me your phone,” he demands.

It’s then that I look up at him and even though I’m scared out of my wits, I decide to question him.

“Why do you need my phone?” I ask meekly.

He takes in a deep breath like he’s trying to control his anger but the look that crosses his face is anything but calm.

“
Give me your phone, Annabella!” he bellows.

The phone is still being clutched tightly in my hand and I continue to hold it as I look at him but make no move to hand it over. He huffs out a breath and pries it out of my hand and then
immediately starts going through it. My heart is racing and I almost feel like if you were paying attention, you could see it pounding through my shirt.

He looks back up at me and says, “I don’t think you were talking to Jade because the last number that came through isn’t a contact in your phone. This same number also c
alled you earlier, so tell me Annabella, who has been calling you?” His voice is menacing and sends a shiver down my spine.

I have no answer for him because now I’ve been caught in a lie and there’s no way to talk myself out of it and I definitely can’t tell him the truth so I just stay silent.

“Are you cheating on me?” he asks forcefully.

I’m shocked at this particular question and even more surprised that I’m relieved that he thinks that instead of m
e finding out who he really is. But because I know he’s dangerous, and I don’t want him to think that I’m cheating because that will very well send him over the edge.

“What? No! I wouldn’t cheat on you,” I say because it’s true. I’ve never thought about cheating on him. He was perfect, but I know better now. I guess too good to be true is a truthful statement.

“So if I call this number back, there won’t be a man on the other end?” he asks because clearly he doesn’t believe me.

Shit, shit, shit. If he calls that number, Lucas is going to answer and he’ll assume that I was sneaking out of the house to go meet another man. I can’t have him calling that number or I could very well be dead in a matter of minutes.

“No, because I’m not cheating on you. What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into
me?
What’s gotten into you, Annabella? You’ve lost all the color in your face, you aren’t looking at me for more than two seconds at a time, you look like you’re about to pass out and I can see you starting to sweat. To me, that looks like the signs of a guilty woman who has been caught.”

“Are you kidding me? If anything, I should have been accusing you of the same thing!
All those secret phone calls and you never coming home at a reasonable hour. What were you up to, huh?”

I know questioning him and accusing him of things isn’t the smartest thing to do
, because I may not like the truth and I’m sure it’s going to piss him off, but I need to deflect the attention off of me and try to keep him from dialing Lucas’s number.

“I certainly
haven’t been cheating on you, Annabella. I’ve been working! My job keeps me busy, you know that.”

I don’t respond to him because I already know he’s a liar
, and I can’t trust anything that comes out of his mouth. He’s still holding my phone and after scrutinizing me for a few more seconds he hits a button on the phone, brings it up to his ear and turns his back and takes a few steps away from me. I know that as soon as Lucas answers the phone, Julian is going to be pissed and I won’t have any reason for who I was talking to and why. In those few seconds that he dialed the number and turned his back to me I decide to run. I still have my keys and purse in hand and I turn and rush out the door and towards the car.

I’m running as fast as I can, the wind is blowing my hair around my face and all I can think is that if I don’t make it to the car, I’m dead. I immediately hate the long walkway from our front door to the driveway but I continue to run and then I see my car and know that I’m almost safe. I’m surprised that Julian hasn’t come after me yet but I don’t dare look back to check, I make it to the car and run around the front and get to the driver’s
side and rip the car door open. Just as soon as it’s open, it’s swiftly slammed closed from behind me. Before I can turn around, I’m pushed up against the side of my car and I can feel a large hand on the middle of my back. Right as I’m about to scream, I feel a hand come from behind me and cover my mouth while forcing my head back against his body. I start screaming into his palm and bring my hands up to try to pry him off of me, but I’m unsuccessful. It’s then that I see Julian slowly walking towards me and his eyes never leave mine.

“G
oing somewhere?” he asks in an amused tone.

He motions to the guy and the man behind me drops his hand from my mouth and steps back. I turn to glare at him but he isn’t looking at me.

“What’s going on?” Julian asks him.

“
I was just coming over to give you an update on that case you were just checking out. I saw her running and looking all panicked so I decided to stop her to see what was going on and make sure nobody was after her.”

“That’s bullshit, you covered my mouth!” I scream.

Julian looks at me and then at the guy and cocks an eyebrow, waiting for a response from him.

“I only did that because I knew she was about to start screaming and if someone was after her, I didn’t want her to alert them of her position. I was about to let her
know I was a cop and could help her. I had no idea who she was. From where I was coming from, it looked like she ran from behind the house.”

I huff and roll my eyes.

“Well, she’s fine. I plan on finding out what she was running from as well,” Julian says with a look in my direction. “Just send me a message with the case information and I’ll get back to you.”

Julian pulls
me towards the house and doesn’t say anything until we’re inside.

“Now, you’re going to tell me why the hell you’ve been talking to one of the men who you claimed had been following you and had kidnapped you,” he says as he pushes me forward.

“How do you know who it was on the phone?” I ask.

He’
s quiet for a moment before he responds. “I know who he is, Annabella. So were you even abducted or did you just willingly stay with him overnight and then had to come up with a story about why you didn’t come home on time?”

“That’s just fucking stupid, Julian. I can’t believe you said that.”

“I think you’re the one who is stupid,” he says with a humorless laugh.

“I am stupid,
” I yell, “For ever believing anything you’ve ever said. You’re a liar and I can’t believe I ever thought you were perfect.”

He shakes his head at me and
makes a tisk tisk noise. “Ah, Annabella. I’m not the only liar in this room, now am I?”

“No you’re not
, but I didn’t have a secret double life!”

“Double life?” he asks with a tilt of his head.

“Yes, double life. You claim to be some FBI person who is supposed to be getting the bad guys off the streets and yet you are one of the bad guys.”

He smiles at me and it instantly pisses me off. I’m getting over my fear and now I’m just angry. I’m pissed that he finds this so amusing, I’m pissed that I was so naïve and didn’t believe Lucas earlier. I’m mad at myself for loving him and thinking we’d be happy forever.

“So do you now believe what your little friends said about me?”

“If you’re going to kill me, I at least want to know why. Why do you want me dead and why did you pretend to be in love with me these past few years?”

I’m ready to hear the truth, I’m tired of all the lies and bullshit and I’m weirdly interested in what his reasoning is. He walks over to the edge of the couch and props himself up against it before answering me.

“
I lost my parents when I was pretty young, as you know. What you don’t know is that I was close to my father’s best friend and he became a father figure to me when my dad died. He had a son, but he was several years younger than me and I didn’t know him well and what I did know of him, I didn’t like. But my Uncle, as I called him, cared very much for his son so when something happened, he asked me for help and I couldn’t turn him down. Have any idea where I’m going with this?” he asks.

I shake my head no even though I have a terrible feeling that I do know where he’s going, I just can’t bring myself to believe it.

“His son had been in an accident and he didn’t want him to go to jail so he asked me if there was any way that I could help. I was just starting out at the FBI and knew I couldn’t do anything myself anyway, but I had a cop friend that owed me a really big favor and I called it in by having him lose some pretty important paperwork.” He pauses and gestures towards the door. “You met him outside. Anyway, without it, the accident seemed like just that, a terrible, unfortunate accident that had sadly cost some people their lives.”

My body starts
to shake and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. I feel like I’m about to throw up or pass out and right now I’d rather pass out and not have to think about any of this. Unfortunately I stay conscious and Julian continues to talk.

“Everything was perfectly fine after that. Dante was pleased that I was able to keep his son from going to jail and life went on. I continued my burgeoning career with the FBI and
Dante continued to do what he did. We were on two completely different paths in life, career wise especially. We didn’t see each other as often but continued to talk on the phone when we could. He was still family to me, the only family I had. So when I received the phone call that he had come across his son who had been seemingly run over, I rushed right to him.”

He pauses and continues to watch me, waiting for some sort of reaction but I don’t give him any. I stay silent and try to keep from breaking down completely. He cocks his head slightly and raises an eyebrow like he’s surprised by my demeanor. I’m sure he was expecting me to be freaking out right about now. The truth is, I’m absolutely stunned to my core and I don’t think I could form proper words if I wanted to.

“Well, when I get to him, he says that his son’s back and legs had been run over and that he was in excruciating pain. He knew he would never be able to walk again and would have a terrible time coping with what his life would have become. He said his son had begged him to shoot him just to put him out of his misery. He, of course, couldn’t bring himself to shoot his own son but he didn’t want him to suffer anymore. His son, Antonio, was able to let his father know who the person responsible was. He continued to beg to be killed because he didn’t want to suffer any longer. His father gave him a kiss and walked away but not before telling one of his business associates to do what his son was asking for. I don’t think that’s what he should have done, but they live a different life,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “It only happened because of what you did.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what I was hearing. Julian knew this entire time what I had done and had neve
r let on that he knew. I wanted to know why he waited so long before actually killing me instead of just killing me and getting it over with. Why did he have to marry me first? I wanted to ask him all these questions but at the same time, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was angry at him for keeping this from me. I was pissed that he had known he was going to kill me but yet led me to believe we were happy and in love. I couldn’t let myself even think about the fact that he was responsible for keeping the guy who killed my family out of jail. And he actually had the nerve to talk to me about my family and comfort me when I mourned them!

“
Annabella, when we met and dated, it was all real. I truly cared for you and wanted us to be together and happy. I wanted what everybody wants, the normal life with a nice home and a wife.” He pauses and runs a hand over his face. “Dante had people looking for you and I hadn’t talked to him in a little while so he had no idea that I had gotten married, to you no less, and I had no idea you were the one he blamed for his son’s death.”