The Secrets of a Lady (18 page)

Audrey choked on her drink. “Wh-Why would Ellison think that?” she finally managed to say between coughing.

“Ellison sees him as a rival. That was more than clear after his reaction at the re-enactment,” Noah explained as he patted her on the back until she regained her breath.

She frowned. “Perhaps we can make that work to our advantage.”

“How so?”

She laced her fingers together nervously. “After today, I’m certain that Ellison is on the verge of killing the Prince and causing all hell to break loose in this country. The infighting could weaken us to the point that France and any number of other enemies could attack.”

“True.” Noah leaned back in his chair. “Continue.”

“Because of this, I believe it’s more imperative than ever that I find out the identities of Ellison’s allies so we can arrest them en masse and bring an end to this.” She took a deep breath, unsure of how her brother would react to her next statement. “To do so, I need to get even closer to Ellison.”

Noah straightened up. “Closer?”

“Yes. Right now we’re courting, and I’ve made some inroads with him. But there’s no way I’m going to find out anything else unless he trusts me completely.” She paused. “I want to manipulate him into a proposal.”

Noah shook his head before she’d even stopped speaking and set his half-empty drink on the table with a clink.

“No. There are limits to what I’ll have you do. A man like Ellison will become increasingly demanding the closer he gets to a woman. I won’t have that monster touching you to seal some kind of marriage bargain.”

She shivered. If her brother was having this strong of a reaction to her plans, what would Griffin think? He hated her being in the same room with Ellison, he would be livid when he found out she wanted the traitor to propose.

She touched her brother’s hand. “I know you worry, but I
can
manage Douglas. Remember, I’m respectable.” She paused, thinking of just how ‘respectable’ she had been in Griffin’s carriage that day. “I-I can keep his advances to a minimum. Won’t it be worth it if we can bring down his mob without any disturbance to the Prince or his party?”

“I don’t like it.” Noah frowned, but Audrey knew him well enough to know when he was breaking under her reasonable approach.

“Of course you don’t. I don’t either. But you’re also clever enough to realize that this could be the only way. All our efforts since we arrived in London have left us with no more evidence than we had in Avonblithe. I’m the only one who can push this investigation forward.” She looked at him with loving eyes. “You’ve given me so much by letting me work with you over the years. You gave me confidence and freedom. Allow me to return the favor by helping you catch this man.”

Noah reached across to take both her hands in his and shook his head. “You gave yourself confidence and freedom. I only watched you transform in amazement. I don’t like this plan, but you’re right. It may be the best and quickest way to catch Ellison. I’ll speak to Lord Golding tomorrow morning, but as far as I’m concerned, the answer is yes.”

Audrey smiled with relief that Noah trusted her. Now if only she could convince Griffin to do the same. “Thank you.”

Her brother stood. “I’ll send a message to Golding tonight. Meanwhile, you should go talk to Hannah. She’ll be a key ally in this plan.”

She stood to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I will

“Goodnight,” he said absently.

As Audrey hurried up the stairs toward her room, she hugged herself with glee. For the first time she was going to really get to participate in a job, not just be a lookout or diversion. She’d get a chance to prove herself to Lord Golding, to Noah, to Hannah and most of all to Griffin.

Griffin.

As she passed by his chamber door, she paused. After all they’d shared that day, how would he feel about her plan to become Ellison’s fiancée? He’d probably be furious. But this was her job, and she had to do it. Griffin would just have to understand. Somehow she would make him understand.

***

Audrey entered her chamber with a broad grin on her face as she looked around. “Hannah? You aren’t already in bed, are you? I want to talk to you about our assignment.”

“And just what are these?”

Spinning around, her smile fell. Hannah stood in the entryway to her adjoining room holding Audrey’s blood spotted drawers from earlier in the day.

“I-I…” she stammered, cursing herself for her stupidity. Her mind had been so clouded with images of Griffin and worries about their plan she hadn’t taken care of her soiled things.

Hannah dropped the pantalets and came across the room to take both Audrey’s shoulders in her hands. “Please tell me you cut yourself.”

The blood rushed to Audrey’s face in a hot wave. Her cheeks tingled and head throbbed. The room was suddenly spinning, moving further and further away from her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She trembled as she turned from Hannah’s arms. At the window, cold air was reflected from the glass, but it wasn’t enough to calm her.

“Hmph,” Hannah grunted. “I used to lay on my back for a living, missy. You think I don’t know the sight of virgin’s blood when I see it?”

Audrey drew in a short breath at her friend’s blunt words, then spun around. The other woman had her hands on her hips, one foot tapping from under the hem of her plain gown. She looked every inch a schoolmarm who couldn’t be fooled. Truth was Audrey’s only remaining option.

“Then promise me you won’t tell Noah what you know.” She grimaced and quickly corrected herself. “What you
suspect
.”

“You think I’d tell the man? Are you daft, girl? He’d rip Griffin Berenger apart and then where would we be! No, I won’t tell your brother. What is said about this will stay between us.” Her face softened as she reached out a hand. When Audrey took it, she whispered, “I promise you, Audrey.”

“Today in the carriage on the way home from the reenactment.” Audrey dipped her head while heat darkened her cheeks. “That was where…
it
came about.”

Hannah dropped down into a nearby chair with a thud. “Oh, Lordy. Well, it was bound to happen.”

She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

Her friend’s answer was a little burst of laughter. “The way you two eye each other, I would have wagered it would have happened much sooner.”

Audrey eyes widened. “That’s absolutely scandalous.”

“Well, I wasn’t the one losing my virtue in a carriage, now was I?” Hannah asked with a twinkle in her eye. “Don’t hold back now, how was it?”

“It was…” Audrey paused, searching for the right word. “It was amazing. Is it wrong to feel that way? I know some of my married friends describe it as awkward and as a duty, but I didn’t feel that way at all. I felt alive.”

A sad smile lifted the corners of Hannah’s mouth. “It isn’t wrong to feel like that, love. In fact, it’s more right than the way those prudes describe it.”

“Is that how it was for you?” she asked softly.

Her friend’s face went a shade paler, and a sadness came into her eyes that made Audrey want to weep. She’d never seen Hannah as fragile as she looked at that moment.

“No, Audrey. It most definitely was not like that for me.” There was an awkward pause. “But what will you do now?”

“Do?” Somehow she really hadn’t thought that far into the future. “I don’t suppose I’ll
do
anything. Griffin doesn’t love me, and now that he’s had me, his desire is likely out of his system, just as Noah’s desire always fades once he’s had a woman. I’ll continue on with our plans. In fact, my brother just gave me permission to entice Douglas Ellison further. I’m going to try to get him to propose to me.”

Hannah’s eyes went wide. “Even after you shared another man’s bed? How will Lord Berenger feel about that?”

Audrey shrugged one shoulder. How could she explain to her friend that she was ripped apart inside with the knowledge that Griffin would be furious? She wanted to enjoy the memory of what they’d shared, but now it was tainted with the knowledge of what she would soon be forced to do.

“Griffin will have no say in the matter. I may have been his for a short while this evening, but I am not his in reality.”

“You really don’t understand men, do you?” Hannah asked with a short shake of her head.

The laughter in her friend’s tone left Audrey feeling affronted. “What do you mean? I’ve followed Noah around for years, and played the distraction for dozens of men we were investigating.”

“Apparently you’ve learning nothing during that time. Griffin Berenger thought he had a right to comment on your life
before
you shared yourself with him completely. His interference will only worsen now. When a man loves a woman, he’ll do anything to protect her.” She stood and smiled at Audrey.

“It’s a very good thing he doesn’t love me then, isn’t it?” Audrey snapped back, though her heart gave a queer shiver.

“
Mon Dieu
,” Hannah sighed as she walked across the room to her door. “You and Lord Berenger certainly share one trait.”

Audrey tilted her head with a snide, “And what is that?”

“You’re both stubborn as the devil himself,” she said, shutting her door with a firm snap.

“Stubborn as the devil,” Audrey muttered under her breath as she flopped into a chair and stared at herself in the mirror. “That shows how much you know Hannah Pikard.”

But in the recesses of her heart, she acknowledged the truth. Stubbornness was one of her worst traits. It had driven her from her parents’ home and into a life of spying. It had forced her to love a man for half a decade, despite the fact he could never love her in return.

Yet Hannah said he did. Griffin, love her? For so long Audrey had believed that was impossible. Now she had to wonder if she’d been wrong all along. And if she believed he could and he let her down, would she be able to recover from the heartache that rejection would cause?

Chapter Thirteen

Griffin balled his hand into a fist and stared at his white knuckles in the fading light of the fire. A half-finished drink sat at his side, untouched for at least an hour. He had no idea why he was still awake. The only excuse he had was that sleep would bring him no peace. If his waking moments were so consumed with Audrey, his dreams were possessed by her. Caught in a web of sleep, he would relive their passionate joining over and over, only to wake alone, frustrated and wanting her more than ever.

“Just as I am right now,” he muttered as he downed the last swig of stale sherry with a grimace.

No, frustrated didn’t even begin to encompass how he felt. After they made love, he’d felt so guilty about stealing Audrey’s innocence that he’d been driven to send her away. Somehow he’d expected her to return to him with accusations and recriminations when the glow had worn off.

But she hadn’t.

Instead, she’d faced off with him in his very own foyer as if nothing had changed. She refused to see reason. She wouldn’t admit that she was in more danger than she knew. Her duties and his desire for her put her in equal peril, yet instead of avoiding them, she sought both out, with a blind belief that she would somehow be safe.

Despite all that, Griffin still had the most overpowering urge to kick in her chamber door and ravish her all night. He wanted to make love to her as she deserved. Not in some confined carriage, but in his bed, spread out across his sheets as he taught her all the different ways she could give and receive pleasure.

“Damn, damn, damn!” He slammed his glass down on the table beside him.

“Griffin?”

He stood and turned at the soft voice from the doorway to see Audrey staring at him. She was still in the plain gown she’d worn earlier that evening. While the simple cut and drab color would have made any other woman look dowdy, she looked alive. Her cheeks were rosy with warm color and her eyes darker than he’d ever imagined they could be. She shoved the curls that framed her face behind her ear while she chewed nervously on her lower lip.

He frowned as he realized Audrey had witnessed his outburst. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day.”

“Yes.” Her face darkened to an even more appealing pink. “I was having trouble sleeping myself. I didn’t think you’d mind if I went to your library and borrowed the most boring book you have.”

He laughed. “Well, all my father’s old coaching books are still in the West library if you’d like. If I recall you always said they were boring.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” she said with a chuckle as she took what seemed to be an involuntary step toward him.

He stiffened when he caught a whiff of her scent. Soft and floral, perhaps roses. What he would do to see her in a bath of rose petals. They were still in season, perhaps if he made a few requests…

With a gruff shake of his head, he said, “I remember more than you imagine I do.”

“We had good times here.” She looked around the room. “When I was a girl, I believed this was an enchanted house. I was so very happy when I was here and I was certain that must be the work of fairies.”