The Secrets of a Lady (22 page)

Audrey nodded with a weak smile, though she felt no pleasure at Lady Ashton’s reminder of Griffin’s marriage. The only emotions accompanying that memory were pain and humiliation.

Lady Ashton continued without waiting for her answer. “I must say you’ve changed so much. Your time on the continent has done you good.”

Audrey blushed. “Thank you, my lady. My brother is an interesting travel companion, and I’ve seen many wonderful things while abroad.”

An arched eyebrow was her companion’s reply. “Not many got to see
those things
with the war going on, did they?”

As the blood drained from her face, Audrey searched for an answer to her companion’s subtle innuendo. “Well, some of my brother’s business concerns-”

Lady Ashton turned her head away quickly, wiping her eyes before turning back with a dazzling smile. “I’m pleased at how well Griffin looks. After Luci’s death, we were quite worried about him.”

Her companion’s face fell as sorrow and a touch of anger filled it.

“I imagine it’s difficult to lose the love of one’s life,” Audrey said softly as she looked over the crowd.

In the distance she saw Griffin and Noah deep in conversation. Griffin looked handsome in his dark evening clothes. His dark blond hair curled around his forehead and he held himself like a Roman god.

“Or any spouse.” Lady Ashton sighed.

Wrinkling her brow, Audrey turned to face the woman beside her. Was Griffin’s own mother now implying that he hadn’t been happy in his marriage to Luci?

With a shake of her head, Lady Ashton looked into Audrey’s eyes. “I wonder if it is your presence… and your brother’s, of course… that has made him look so much better?”

Audrey actually backed up a step in shock. “I’m sure having his best friend by his side helps Griffin enormously. And time tends to heal, as well.”

“I think it’s more than that,” Lady Ashton said with a gentle smile.

“There you are!”

Both women turned to see Griffin’s father crossing the room with a grin on his face. Audrey was stunned, as always, at how much Griffin looked like the older Earl.

He turned to his wife with a wink. “Tabitha, would you like a dance? They’re playing the waltz and I’d like to prove the older generation can perform these new steps with the best of the young ones.”

“I’d love to. Audrey, if you’ll excuse us.”

She smiled as she watched the two enter the dance floor to begin the twists and turns that were the waltz. After so many years together, it was obvious they remained very much in love. A twinge of envy made her turn away, though she was shocked by it. How could she be jealous of a couple that had been together for over thirty years? It was ridiculous.

With a sigh she looked out over the ballroom again. Couples were paired off all around her, huddled in corners, flirting from across the room with fans and winks or spinning across the dance floor in each other’s arms to the strains of the waltz.

The rest of the unpaired masses were in groups. Tittering girls years younger than she stared at the other women with admiration or scorn, and the men with interest or desire. The dandies and the rakes had even moved in together for talk of sport and women. Everyone belonged somewhere.

Everyone but her.

The life she’d chosen with Noah had put her firmly on the outside of this gay little world, just as she had been when she’d run from in it disgrace years before. This time the
ton
liked her, wanted to be near her, but that was only because of the mask she wore. Without Hannah’s hairstyles and her lavish wardrobe, she had nothing in common with the people around her.

Overwhelmed by her thoughts, she suddenly needed a moment alone. Gathering up her skirt into her fist, she fled around the parameter of the dance floor and through the veranda doors. The air outside greeted her with a breath of freshness, cooling her heated brow and making her feel less stifled and uncomfortable.

What was wrong with her? She had a job to do, yet she was mooning about on the veranda, looking out on the massive garden while she felt sorry for herself. She had no reason to be so maudlin. To be so… lonely. But she was.

And tired.

Tired to running from country to country. Tired of being alone every night. And tired of knowing men wanted to be near her only for the inheritance she could give, and that she only wanted to be near them for the secrets they could share. Her entire life was a fraud.

“Audrey?”

Turning slowly, she faced the voice and gave a soft smile. What she wanted stood feet away from her, outlined in the light of the ballroom. She wanted Griffin Berenger, still. Always. Forever.

“Audrey?” he repeated as he shut the door behind him softly and took a few steps toward her. “What’s wrong? Did my mother say something to upset you?”

She motioned to the other side of the veranda where fewer people stood. “No. Your mother was a dream, as always. I just felt… felt…”

“I’ve always felt the same way.” A frown darkened his face. “Luci lived for these events, but I was happy to stay away. I still cringe at being surrounded by all these people.”

“That must have been very frustrating for you.”

She moved a bit closer to him. Her hand stirred at her side as the breeze blew his dark blond hair into his eyes, but he brushed it aside before she could touch him.

“Yes. I went with her, of course. At first, at least,” he added with a frown.

Audrey took a deep breath. This was her chance to ask all the questions she had wanted to about Luci. About the rumors and innuendos that crackled in the air whenever anyone spoke about her.

“Please tell me more about…” she began, watching through foggy eyes as he moved a fraction closer to her. She could almost feel his heat, and could definitely smell the spicy scent of his skin.

“This is becoming a habit, isn’t it?” Ellison asked, his tone colder than an icehouse as he looked past Griffin to her. “My interrupting the two of you.”

She stepped forward and held out both her hands. “Douglas, you misunderstand my friendship with Lord Berenger. Please don’t allow your jealousy…”

“I would like a moment alone with Lady Audrey if you don’t mind, Berenger.” The thin man glared at Griffin as if daring him to refuse.

Griffin opened his mouth to speak and Audrey’s heart lodged in her throat. If he said anything to imply she wasn’t safe with Ellison, it could tip the man off to what she really was.

For a long moment, Griffin said and did nothing, just stared at her. Then he bowed to Ellison and said, “As you wish.”

Turning on his heel, he strode back into the ballroom, his gate clipped and purposeful. Audrey could guess he was planning to find Noah and felt a bit safer with the knowledge.

Focusing on matters at hand, she moved closer to the man who had interrupted her moment with Griffin. Looking up into his gray eyes, she felt nothing but contempt, but refused to let him sense her distaste.

“Your jealousy is quite sweet, but misplaced.”

“Really, Audrey?” Ellison’s anger was evident in everything about him, from his cold tone of voice to the way he held himself. “If that’s true than why do I catch you looking so deeply into his eyes? Why do I find him watching your every move whenever you’re in a room with him?”

Torn between stoking Ellison’s jealousy and keeping Griffin safe, Audrey pondered what she should say. Finally she shook her head with a sadness she didn’t feel.

“Lord Berenger is an old friend,” she explained, biting her lip before continuing. “He’s gone through a terrible trial, losing his wife, and I want to comfort him. Perhaps
he
has misconstrued that friendship, but I tell you, you have nothing to fear.”

Ellison took in a shallow breath as he stepped closer, invading her personal space and making her uncomfortably warm. “Why is that?”

She swallowed hard, then looked up into his eyes with what she hoped was an adoring stare. “Douglas, you must know there is only one man who has captured my heart this Season.”

Well, at least it was the truth. If Ellison believed she was talking about him, so be it. Only she had to know Griffin Berenger was the one she loved, and would always love.

“If that’s true, prove it to me,” he whispered, putting his arm around her waist with the slowness of a snake encompassing around its victim. “Kiss me as I kissed you in the carriage.”

“I…” she stammered, unsure if she could press her mouth against his one more time. “I have my reputation to think of.”

“Nonsense.” He inched her ever closer to him with tiny tugs on her waist. “You and I have been courting publicly. And this is a private area where no one is watching. Besides, Audrey, it isn’t as if you haven’t been caught in such a situation before.”

She froze at those words. He couldn’t be referring to what had happened to her on a similar veranda all those years ago. There had been general rumors about her thanks to Luci, but no one had ever known about the man on the veranda except for her mother and Griffin’s wife. Luci had, at least, kept that promise.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t think I know about your past?” he asked, his lips moving closer to her ear. “I must be careful who I associate with as I move my way up in Society. I had you investigated by certain people in my employ. But don’t worry, Audrey.”

Her skin felt like a thousand spiders were crawling on it, their tiny tentacles tickling her and raising the hairs on the back of her neck.

Everything around Audrey suddenly slowed down to a snail’s pace. Douglas’s lips moved, but she didn’t hear anything more than that he would consider Griffin a threat. Griffin was in danger. Real danger. And all because of her and the feelings she couldn’t seem to hide. Without thinking, without breathing, she turned her mouth to Ellison’s and kissed him.

His lips were cold, cooler than she’d remembered them when he’d forced them on her in the carriage weeks before. But his hands were like steel as they wrapped around her shoulders and drew her closer. His fingers bit into her skin, burning her through the thin silk of her gown. How she kept herself from gagging, she couldn’t say, but when she drew back, dipping her head in a show of modesty, she barely resisted the urge to spit.

“Is that proof enough for you that you’re the one I care for?” She hoped he took her breathless voice as desire and not fear and loathing.

“Very much so.” He raised her gloved hand to his lips and placed a wet kiss there. His mouth made a mark on the silk, and she knew she’d been branded.

“Audrey? Audrey?” Noah’s voice came from the veranda doorway.

“I’m here!” she called out, trying to keep the break from her voice as she willed her brother to hurry.

He whipped around the corner of the veranda, then skidded to a slower speed as he gave the couple a suspicious look. “What’s going on here?”

She met her brother’s eyes with desperation. “Nothing Noah. We were just looking at the moon.”

“Yes.” Ellison released her hand at long last to bow his head at her brother. “I’ve enjoyed it immensely. But perhaps I should go back inside. It’s getting late and I have many people to speak with before I depart.”

“Goodnight Douglas,” she whispered with a shaky smile.

“Good evening Audrey,” he whispered back. He locked eyes with her before nodding again to her brother. “Lord Lockhart.”

Once he had gone, the veranda door safely shut behind him, Audrey drooped against the wall. Noah hurried to her side to take her arm as he whispered, “What happened?”

“I did it,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t break down into tears as she stared at the circular ring of spit that marred her glove. The outline of Ellison’s lips.

“Did what?” he asked, his tone cautionary. “What did you do?”

“I convinced him I belong to him.”

She buried her face in her brother’s shoulder. With every ounce of strength and training, she held back the tears that threatened to break her down. There would be time later to sob. For now, she still had a role to play. A blasted duty.