The Secrets of a Lady (14 page)

“I adore you, Audrey. I don’t want to see you in pain.” His voice was muffled in her hair.

“I realize you mean well,” she conceded. “But I’m handling this as best I can. Griffin and I have already promised to stay away from each other. Today was an unfortunate slip, but I’ll be more careful in the future.”

Noah sighed as he released her. “Audrey, if I thought for a moment you could have a real future with Griffin Berenger, I would bless your relationship. After all, the man is my best friend.”

“But you don’t think I could.” Her tone was flat as she crossed back to the door and fiddled with the knob.

Noah shook his head. “Not because of you, Audrey. Grif has been through a lot in the past few years. I don’t think he would allow himself to love you, and after everything you’ve been through you deserve nothing less than love.”

Audrey sighed, turning the knob and opening the door. Before she left, she turned back.

“I’ve always wanted love, but perhaps it doesn’t exist after all. Perhaps it’s just a silly dream that no one really realizes. And if that’s true, then perhaps I’ve been fooling myself all along.”

“Audrey…” Noah called after her, but she ignored him as she hurried down the hallway into her chamber. Hannah looked up from a book as she entered, but she dropped it at her friend’s face.

“It can be no more than nothing,” Audrey snapped before she slammed her palm down on her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror.

Most of the time when she gazed into the looking glass, Audrey still saw the little girl she’d once been. The awkward one who couldn’t dance to save her life, whose hair never quite stayed in place, who had freckles where all the other girls had creamy skin. Sometimes, though, when she was honest with herself, she could see the changes that had come over her.

With the help of her brother and Hannah, she had transformed into a woman. And while she wouldn’t go so far as to say she was a great beauty, she was pleasant enough to look at. Her red hair now took the complicated styles of the day, curling around her face in an almost attractive fashion.

She’d learned to dance from her brother, who’d taken the time and injury involved in teaching her the grace to glide across a floor rather than stampede. With the help of lemon juice and fantastic hats, her freckles had faded away.

With a bitter laugh, she turned away from her reflection. She had somehow become everything she had once wanted to be, but it still wasn’t enough. The one man she had wanted for what seemed like her whole life still didn’t want her. Or if he wanted her, he certainly didn’t want to keep her.

Hannah touched her hand. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I already told you, it’s nothing, Hannah,” Audrey said as she moved away to stare out the window at Griffin’s gardens and beyond over the city. “I just remembered that life isn’t always fair, no matter how much you change.”

Chapter Ten

Griffin looked out the window of the carriage as it passed into Hyde Park. Over ten thousand troops milled about the park grounds, ready to begin the reenactment of the battle of Trafalgar on the Serpentine. Mixed in were thousands upon thousands of people of all rank and age, from the poorest peasant to the Prince Regent himself.

“This looks to be the perfect place to kill a King,” he muttered.

Audrey glanced up from the papers in her hand and out the window, taking in what Griffin had already seen. “Yes.” She glanced first at him then her brother and Hannah. “Or even a Prince or two.”

Griffin smiled at her remark though the worry he had felt from the very beginning of this entire mess was growing daily. Not only was Audrey pursuing a dangerous traitor, but a man who Griffin was certain would accost her if he got the chance. That made Ellison more treacherous and put Audrey in even more peril. Even though the brother and sister team wanted to deny it, the fact that Ellison was pushing her to leave Griffin’s house, to distance herself from any man who was a friend, was proof that the traitor was growing bolder. He felt he had a claim to protect in Audrey.

Noah pulled the curtain back from his window a fraction as the carriage stopped in a line of traffic. “There will be guns going off and explosions starting the moment the reenactment begins at eight. All manner of people will be running around with weaponry, be it working or not. We all must be on our guard.”

Audrey nodded but her gaze was focused on Griffin. He shifted in his seat as her eyes drifted away. Since their encounter in the sitting room a few afternoons before, he’d been increasingly uncomfortable around her. It was becoming evident that being her friend was much more difficult than he’d thought. Especially when all he wanted to do was touch her, kiss her, make her his in every primal way he could.

“Oh, Lord,” Audrey sighed as she covered her eyes.

“What is it?” Hannah craned her neck to see over Audrey’s head and out the window.

She rolled her eyes in Griffin and Noah’s direction. “Ellison. He’s standing waiting by where all the carriages are parking now. I’m not going to get a moment’s peace from that man.”

“And that’s exactly what we want, dear sister,” Noah said with a chuckle. “So chin up, smile, and pretend you can’t get enough of him.”

Griffin stifled a laugh as Audrey gave her brother a withering glare. How he’d hate to be on the receiving end of such a look.

“It’s so very simple for you to mock,” she muttered. “You get the easy job every time.
I’m
the one who has to spend my time with disgusting letches.”

Noah looked playfully affronted. “I’ve had to sacrifice my evenings for the job from time to time.”

Griffin bit back a bark of laughter that made both siblings and Hannah turn to look at him in surprise. “You told me those ‘sacrifices’ have been most pleasant on the whole.”

“That’s right,” Hannah chimed in with a shake of her dark curls. “You’ve never complained in all the years I’ve known you.”

Noah put a finger to his lips. “Hush you two, I’m trying to make Audrey feel better.”

With a voice dripping with sarcasm, Audrey shook her head. “Thank you so very much, my
dearest
brother.”

“I’m your only brother.”

“Yes. Aren’t I lucky?” Audrey said with a smile.

Noah laughed as the carriage stopped a second time. It rocked with the movement of the servants climbing down to aid their departure.

As Griffin watched, the Audrey he was so drawn to faded away. The laughter and playfulness that was such a part of her day-to-day existence vanished, replaced by a much more jaded, disinterested woman that the
ton
and Douglas Ellison could do nothing but adore. She was everything they worshiped, and everything Griffin shied away from. It was stunning how she slipped so easily into character.

Just like Luci.

Only instead of changing her personality for her own gain, Audrey did it for her country. Though it did little to improve his mood, at least Griffin could understand and respect her motives.

The carriage door swung open and the footman held out his arm. With a fleeting smile for both Griffin and her brother, Audrey took the man’s assistance and stepped from the carriage. Her eyes crinkled as the bright, late afternoon sun hit her face even though her wide rimmed bonnet offered her some protection. Following behind was Hannah, who wasted no time in putting on the demure mask of a lady’s maid.

As Griffin stepped to the packed down grass, he found himself immediately searching the throng of people for Douglas Ellison. If there was anything he had learned over the years, it was to keep his enemies close.

At his side, Audrey fanned herself, looking properly bored even while her blue eyes scanned the crowd with as much focus as his own. It seemed she, too, could only think of Ellison and what her next move would be to bring the man down.

“Lady Audrey!” came a voice from over the crowd.

With a muted sigh, she turned toward the source of the sound and smiled while she raised her hand to wave. “Mr. Ellison! We’re over here!”

Nudging his way through a group of gentlemen, Ellison burst from the pack. He gave a broad grin, his gray eyes roving over Audrey in one possessive, lurid motion. It took every ounce of Griffin’s strength not to grab the man and pummel him to a pulp. The desire was even more powerful than it had been the night of the opera. Since then Griffin had tasted Audrey’s lips, felt her soft skin against his own. He was loath to share her, especially with a bastard like Douglas Ellison.

Ellison took both her hands in an inappropriate gesture of familiarity. “Audrey, how nice to see you once again. I’ve missed your company.”

“Oh, Douglas,” Audrey replied with a false giggle before her eyes slid to Griffin and her brother with counterfeit embarrassment. “I mean,
Mr. Ellison
… it’s only been a few days since we last saw each other. Surely you couldn’t have even noticed my absence in such a short period of time.”

While Griffin seethed, Ellison lifted Audrey’s gloved hand to his lips and smiled. “You’d be surprised.”

Noah cleared his throat as he stepped forward. Griffin could see his friend took no more pleasure than he did in the way Ellison was manhandling Audrey. “Mr. Ellison.”

Ellison released Noah’s sister with reluctance and shook the other man’s hand. “Lord Lockhart, good to see you. Fine weather, eh?”

“Yes,” Noah replied in a dry tone.

Ellison’s eyes went passed Noah to focus on Griffin. He wasn’t surprised when the jovial friendliness on the man’s face vanished. What did surprise him was that Ellison didn’t display the general jealousy of a possessive man, but the specific hatred of Griffin. Yet he was certain he hadn’t revealed any of his conflicted feelings for Audrey in front of Ellison.

Had he?

“Viscount Berenger.” Ellison’s tone was cold. “Good to see you here. Having Audrey and her brother in your home seems to be bringing you out of your shell of late. I don’t think I’ve seen you at so many events in all the three years we’ve been neighbors.”

Griffin forced himself to take a civil tone. “A good host mustn’t neglect his guests. I admit this sort of thing isn’t my forte, but Noah and Audrey were set on attending all the events of the Jubilee.”

“You’re putting on a good face,” Ellison said. “But perhaps your visitors are too wearing on you so soon after your
dear
wife’s untimely passing. Might you consider giving Audrey and Lord Lockhart up to my care?”

Every hair on the back of Griffin’s neck stood up as he clenched his right hand into a tight fist. All he’d been able to think about during the past few days was Ellison and his offer… or threat… to take Audrey away from him.

“I assure you that having Noah and Audrey in my home is nothing but a pleasure,” he managed to choke out with difficulty.

“Hmmm…” Ellison let his gaze slip over to Audrey. “A pleasure I’d love to be all mine.”

Before Griffin could bite out a retort or punch the man in the face, he felt Noah grasp the back of his tailored jacket and twist the material in his hand to hold him in place.

“It’s a generous offer, Ellison,” Noah said with a forced smile. “But Audrey and I are quite comfortable where we are.”

Griffin watched as Audrey pretended to be disappointed for Ellison’s sake. God, how he hated her duplicity and the ease with which she lied. Even if it was for King and Country, he could hardly bear to watch it, or face the sour memories it stirred.

Griffin pulled from Noah’s hold and straightened his coat. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to have a look around.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked into the crowd, wishing he could dispose of Douglas Ellison right then and there. And hating that it was Audrey’s safety which kept him from doing just that.

***

Audrey watched Griffin disappear from view with a frown. How she wished she could follow him and offer him some kind of comfort. It troubled him that Ellison desired her. It troubled her, too, but the act was a necessary evil. If only Griffin understood… if only she could
make
him understand.

“Strange man, Berenger,” Ellison said with a shrug. “Never have understood him.”

“Lord Berenger is still in mourning,” Audrey said softly, hoping her voice was free of the emotions she so strongly felt for Griffin. “It is natural for him to be so distant.”

“Hmph.” Ellison offered her his arm as Noah and Hannah followed close behind them. “It’s been six months. He should be well past any sadness he may have felt at his wife’s death. Especially considering her-”

Behind them, Noah made a loud sound in the back of his throat. Both Audrey and Ellison turn to look at him. The expression in her brother’s eyes was enough to make Audrey shiver. They were dilated with anger, dark as midnight. It was a look he rarely used, but it was effective.

“Mr. Ellison, please recall that my sister is an innocent lady and Griffin Berenger is a friend,” he ground out, meeting Ellison’s eyes and holding his gaze there.

Douglas looked away quickly, unable to match the intensity of her brother’s stare. “Of course, Lord Lockhart. I apologize for my lack of thought.”

Audrey had an urge to stomp her foot. For the past few weeks she heard innuendo about Griffin and Luci’s marriage, but never gotten to the real truth. What was the secret that made Griffin so unhappy? Audrey had always assumed his marriage had been a harmonious one, but more and more she doubted that theory had been correct.

Ellison gave a smooth smile. “Your brother is correct and I apologize. We should speak of more pleasant topics. Such as today’s events. Look over the crowd! There are our Prince and his guests now.”

Audrey followed the sweeping motion of Ellison’s hand and found herself looking into a raised box on the parameter of the park. Inside the Prince and several of his guests were chatting.