The Scars of Us (16 page)

I wanted to erase some of hers, even if it was only a sliver. I would take what she’d give me, if that was anything at all after what had just happened.
Damn, I fucked up.

I couldn’t help what I had said, especially when her words reopened old scars. “I can’t do this.”

That phrase had changed everything, altering my whole life when it was said to me four years ago.

“Ry, we need to talk.”

“About what, babe?”

She exhaled a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how to say this…” she trailed off as a sob broke through.

“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” I asked with concern as I took her hand in mine.

Jerking her hand away, she stood and clenched her fists. “I can’t do this anymore!”

Confused and worried, I questioned, “Baby, calm down. What are you talking about?”

“This! Us! I can’t stand the lies anymore!” She threw her hands out to the side.

“Lies? What lies? I’ve never lied to you before.” I had no clue what she was referring to.

“The baby’s not yours!” she blurted.

The air caught in my lungs, my heart stuttering in my chest from her words. “What?” I whispered as tears began to burn my eyes.

Her own tears trickled down her face as she coldly repeated, “The baby’s not yours.”

And to twist the knife she had plunged in my heart, she added, “Ethan’s the father.”

Fuck her. And him. The both of them could rot in hell. It was because of them that I was the way I am—hollow and numb, just going through the motions of everyday life without giving a fuck about anyone else. I never thought that I’d let another person in, but Kaiya was different. She made me want to feel again, to experience life again, kindling a long dead fire inside me. Now, I’d gone and fucked it all up.

I thought that having her once would be enough to satisfy my desire for her, just as it had with all the others. But, it didn’t; if anything, it had made me want her more. Her sweet sex had become my drug, addicting me the moment I sank my dick inside her.

I watched her angrily storm off to her car before she got in and sped out of the parking lot. Locking the door, I tried to stash away my thoughts of her, unable to process anything with the smell of her still on my skin.

I was off the next day, so hopefully I’d be able to make sense of all the mess after I slept, but I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

As I had expected, I slept like shit. Tossing and turning all night, I was unable to get Kaiya off my mind. Memories of her moaning my name, digging her nails into my skin, and feeling her soft flesh against mine as her pussy clenched my cock taunted me as I tried to sleep.

Even though it was my day off, I was still going to the gym. I needed to release the pent up frustration from last night. I knew Kaiya wouldn’t be there—she never worked out on Fridays, so I wouldn’t have a chance to apologize to her. I’d tried calling and texting her, but she didn’t answer any of my attempts. I was hoping to run into her at the club later where we had first kissed—she and Nori went there most Fridays. But I wasn’t sure if she’d go after what had happened last night.

I was wound up even after working out, the stress of last night still weighing me down.
Why did I have to say those things to her? She’ll probably never want to see me again.

I sent a text to Drew to see if he wanted to go with me to the club:

Me: Club tonight?

After a few minutes, he responded back:

Drew: I’m down what time

Me: Your place 11

Drew: Cool

When I got to Drew’s apartment, he opened the door and offered me a beer. “What’s been going on with you? Still talking to Kaiya?”

I took a long swig of my beer and let it slowly roll down my throat before saying anything. “I kind of fucked it all up last night. She won’t return my calls or anything.” I sat down on the couch. “I’m hoping to see her tonight.”

Drew popped the top on his own bottle as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen. “You really like her, huh?”

Taking another drink of my beer, I swallowed deeply. “Yeah—she’s not like all the girls we run game on all the time.”

“You think she’ll be at the club tonight?” Drew asked as he came and sat on the end of the couch.

“I don’t know. Kaiya says she and Nori go there almost every Friday, but I don’t know if she’d want to go out after last night—she was pretty upset.”

“Even if she doesn’t, we can still get drunk and hook up with some hotties, right?” Drew said as he punched my bicep.

“Yeah,” I replied halfheartedly before taking another long pull of my beer. I didn’t feel like hooking up with anyone else; I just wanted Kaiya.
Don’t be such a pussy. She can be replaced.

I almost laughed at myself. I’d never find anyone else quite like Kaiya. She wasn’t like the sluts that threw themselves at me all the time—there was more to her than that, something deeper that she didn’t let anyone see.

After finishing off a six pack of beer, we left Drew’s in separate cars. We arrived at the club a little after midnight. The club was so crowded that you couldn’t turn around without brushing up against someone. Music blared as we waited at the bar to order drinks, and I searched the room for Kaiya. Within seconds, my eyes zeroed in on her. My jaw twitched and my fists clenched—she was completely wasted, dancing all over some guy in the middle of the dance floor.

My blood boiled as I angrily stalked through the crowd, making my way to where she was grinding herself against him.

Lightly grabbing her arm, I pulled her to me as I glared at the asshole dancing with her. “Fuck off,” I seethed, holding back from knocking him out right there on the dance floor.

I turned my attention to Kaiya, who was swaying in her heels. I cupped her chin and forced her to look at me. “What do you think you are doing?” I growled.

Her glazed eyes narrowed as she angrily slurred, “Why the fuck do you care? You got what you wanted already, remember?” She weakly shoved my chest.

Fuck.
I knew she wouldn’t let what happened go so easily, but I didn’t think it would have affected her that much.

My grip on her eased as I softened my tone. “Kaiya, I—”

She pulled out of my grasp, basically falling into the dickhead’s arms. “Leave me alone, Ryker.”

The bastard smugly grinned at me as he wrapped his arms around Kaiya, resting his hands on her ass. I balled my fists as I took a deep breath so that I didn’t end up strangling the guy. I kept trying to tell myself that she wasn’t mine, that I had no claim on her, but everything in me screamed that she was.

Fuck this shit, I’m leaving.
I pushed through the crowd towards the exit, getting cussed at as I forced people out of the way
.

When I reached my truck, I hesitated as I was about to get in.
Don’t let that asshole punk you out and take your fucking girl from you. Go back in there and get her.

My eyes scanned the room when I went back in. Kaiya and the tool she was with were in the same spot on the dance floor. As I wound through the mass of bodies, the guy leaned over to whisper something in her ear, then led her towards the back of the club.

Increasing my pace, I followed after them, shoving people that got in my way.
Fuck this shit.
I’d drag her over my shoulder if I had to; I wasn’t going to let her do something I knew she’d regret.

As I reached the door, I stopped.
What are you doing? You’re acting like some stalker. If she wants to hook up with some guy in the back alley of a club, then let her—she’s not your problem.

I tried to turn around, to walk away, but I couldn’t. She meant more to me than that. I’d only wanted a one time fuck, but she changed things, made me want something more.

I pounded my fist against the door and cursed, “Fuck!”

As I warred with my thoughts, dull voices from outside interrupted my internal debate.

“Come on, baby, you know you want it,” the jackass urged.

Really, guy?

“No. Stop, please,” Kaiya pleaded, the desperation in her voice snapping something within me. Sounds of a struggle followed, and both fear and rage
consumed me at the thought of someone hurting her, constricting the air in my lungs as my heart beat increased. I shoved open the door, sending it to slam against the wall as I stepped into the alley. Darting my head from side to side, I searched for Kaiya in the dim lighting behind the club
,
but I couldn’t find her.
Where are you, baby?

I heard shuffling to my left, along with the guy’s voice again. “You’ve been all over me all night—I know you want it.”

Following their voices, I rushed in the direction that Kaiya was speaking now. “Get off me!” she shrieked before I heard a slap.

I could see them in the distance now, on the other side of a dumpster.
Real classy, asshole.

“Oh, you like it rough, huh? I’ll give it to you rough, then.”

I was about thirty feet away when he slapped her back, which sent me into a rage-filled run.
I’m going to kill that motherfucker!
Kaiya began to scream as he covered her mouth with one hand, pushing her back against the wall while using the other to grope all over her body.
I’m almost there, baby.

Then, my warrior bit him.
Good girl.
He pulled away instinctively before rearing back again to hit her, but it was too late—I was already there.

Tackling him to the ground, I immediately began punching him, bashing his head into the asphalt with my fists. He tried to fight back, but with the combination of my training and his drunkenness, he was no match for me. Fury took hold, overpowering any other emotion as I continued to beat him until I couldn’t recognize his face beneath the blood and bruising.

Then, I remembered Kaiya. Standing up, I turned to face her—she was huddled against the wall, arms tightly around herself, crying. As our eyes locked, we both began to move towards each other until I wrapped her in my arms.

Burying her face in my chest, her sobbing intensified. I held her tighter, pressing kisses to the top of her head. She clutched the back of my shirt in her hands as her body shook against mine.

“Shh, it’s okay, now—I’ve got you, baby,” I whispered into her hair.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized through her sobs, the sound muffled against my chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry for—I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said last night, shouldn’t have hurt you like that. I fucked up.”

Looking up at me, she propped her chin on my chest as tears continued to stream down her face. Even with her smeared make-up and blotchy skin, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

“Thank you for saving me.”

I brought my hands to her face, stroking the tears off her cheeks with my thumbs as I looked into her eyes. “I’ll always save you, Warrior. You just have to let me.”

Her bottom lip trembled as she nodded. Her hands came up to cover mine as my mouth came down on hers. Unlike our other kisses, this one was gentle, but not less passionate—electricity surged through me as my heart rate up kicked up, just like it did every time.

When we separated, I placed my forehead against hers. “Ready to go?”

She pulled back, looking up at me with reddened eyes. “Yeah, I have to find Nori—she drove.” Her voice was hoarse and knotted with emotion.

“I can give you a ride home.”

She briefly hesitated, unsure as always. Reaching toward her, I waited for her to put her hand in mine. She threaded our fingers together while giving me a small smile as we started to walk towards the end of the alley.

Once we got in my truck, I could tell she was still shaken up. She trembled as tears rimmed her eyes, and a few escaped every so often to fall down her cheeks.

After starting the truck, I placed my hand over hers, hoping I could calm her some. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s over. Please don’t cry anymore.”

She squeezed my hand tightly. “You don’t understand. I… I just…” she hesitated, cutting off her words.

“What, baby?”

Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. “This just brought back so many bad memories.”

Bad memories?
“This has happened to you before?” I asked angrily.

“Not exactly,” she sighed before pausing. Her eyes opened and met mine as I waited for her to continue. “I… I—” a sob broke through, cutting off her words as she shook her head.

“Kaiya, baby, tell me.” I urged.

Our gazes locked, her eyes searching mine as tears streaked her cheeks. Stroking the back of her hand with my thumb, I said, “You can trust me, Warrior.”

She continued to hold my gaze before speaking, her voice cracking, “I… I… I was abused when I was little.”

“What? For how long?” I asked, my anger building back from her words.

Tears were raining down her face as she choked through her sobs, “As long as I can remember. He… he wouldn’t stop. No matter how hard I tried… he always touched me. It didn’t end until… until I was seventeen.”