The Scars of Us (11 page)

“Why? Is it the tattoos?”

“No. I just can’t picture you as one. You don’t seem like the type that follows directions well.”

“I don’t. I was thrown out for kicking my scout leader.”

She laughed. “You didn’t.”

“I did—guy was a prick.”

Kaiya continued to laugh; she definitely didn’t smile or laugh enough, and I wished she did more of both. When our eyes met, I repeated my earlier question, “Can I get you another drink?”

Even before she responded, the smile she was fighting gave me my answer. I ordered another round of drinks from one of the bartenders, then turned my attention back to Kaiya. Our gazes locked as a blush began to creep up onto her cheeks, painting her porcelain skin with pink.

“You’re so beautiful,” I said, just above a whisper as I leaned towards her. Her eyes focused on my lips as they neared hers, which parted in anticipation, as if waiting to reacquaint themselves with mine after so long.

Closing my eyes, I brushed my mouth against Kaiya’s, enjoying the silkiness of her lips.

Her hands rested on my chest before sliding up and around my neck as she brought herself closer to me, pressing our bodies together. Winding around her, my arms enclosed her against me as my tongue intertwined with hers.

Fuck, she tasted so good—I could get lost in her for days, oblivious to everything else but consuming every part of her sweetness. One of my hands trailed up her back before cupping her head, tangling my fingers in her hair as the kiss intensified.

“You have a tab? Or do you want to pay cash?” the bartender interrupted, causing Kaiya to abruptly pull away from me.

Asshole.
Glaring at the bartender, I grabbed the drinks. “I have a tab—Ryker Campbell.”

Handing Kaiya her drink, I couldn’t help but notice her swollen lips. My cock hardened more as I thought about Kaiya sucking me with those lips, taking my dick deep into her mouth before letting me sink myself into her pussy.
Fuck, I have to have her.

As we drank, we told each other stupid bar jokes that we had heard over the years. Kaiya giggled loudly, her eyes glassy as she swayed slightly in her seat. Her cheeks had deepened to a light shade of red and she wore a drunken smile. She was definitely tipsy. “I should go. I have to work in the morning,” she said halfheartedly.

“Why don’t you come home with me?” I suggested with a crooked grin as I pulled her barstool between my legs.

“I can’t,” she replied as she leaned forward, bringing her face only inches from mine.

Closing the distance, I barely grazed her lips as I asked, “Why not? We both know you want to.”

Pulling back a little, she put some distance between our mouths. “Those old demons I mentioned earlier—they haunt you forever.” Before I could respond, she continued, “You don’t want to get involved with me.”

Resting my hands on the outside of her thighs, I rubbed my thumbs against them. “You’ve said that before. I know what I want, and I’m looking right at her.”

She smiled sadly. “If you knew me, you wouldn’t want me.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that for myself instead of fighting me all of the time? You don’t even give me a chance to get to know you.”

“I have to fight—it’s the only way I can protect myself. I need to go,” she snapped before grabbing her purse off the bar.

“Kaiya, wait,” I called after her. Ignoring me, she pushed through the crowd, continuing to walk toward the door before exiting. I wanted to go after her, but I wasn’t the type to chase a woman. My pride wouldn’t allow that, so I just let her go, forcing myself to stay at the bar.

I ordered another drink, along with a straight shot of Jack. I downed it as a sexy brunette walked up next to me, her tits almost popping out of her skin-tight dress.

“Want some company?” she asked before biting her bottom lip seductively.

She wasn’t what I wanted, but I didn’t want to sit around sulking about Kaiya, so I pulled her onto my lap. “Sure, baby. Wanna get out of here?” I asked before tracing my tongue along her jawline.

“Yes,” she practically moaned as she tilted her head.
Too easy.

After I paid my tab, I followed the girl back to her place. We barely made it in the door before she started stripping her clothes off and getting on her knees in front of me.

Unbuttoning my jeans, she pushed me back against the wall next to her front door. She pulled my cock out before eagerly sucking it into her mouth, skimming it lightly with her teeth.

Grabbing her hair, I pushed my dick deeper into her mouth before starting to thrust in and out. I tried to lose myself in the sensations, but all I could think about was Kaiya and how I wished her mouth was around me instead.

Pulling out, I turned the woman around as I knelt behind her. I took a condom out of my wallet before rolling it over my cock and sinking myself into her, making her moan loudly in pleasure.

Gripping her hips, I imagined I was pounding into Kaiya instead of some random girl. I closed my eyes, envisioning her silken skin, perfect body, and beautiful face as my dick repeatedly stroked inside her.

My hips smacked against her ass as my pace increased, the image of Kaiya bringing me closer to release with each passing second.

Crying out, the woman’s pussy tightened around me, her body trembling its climax before she lay slack on the floor, ass still up as I plunged deeper into her. My fingers dug into her hips as I slammed her harder against me, seeking my own release.

Groaning, I stilled as I came, panting heavily to regain my breath. Once I did, I pulled out from the unnamed woman.

She rolled over and spread her legs, opening herself to me. “Want to go again?”

My dick had already started to go down once I was reminded that she wasn’t Kaiya. I slid the condom off me as I said, “Nah, I’m good.”

She looked offended as I stood up before throwing the condom away and buttoning my jeans.

“What?” she angrily asked, her mouth setting in a hard line as she closed her legs and sat up.

“I said that I’m good,” I replied as I turned and reached for the doorknob. I didn’t even wait for her reply as I opened the door and left.

Bryce had been more than happy when I’d called and asked if I could come over. Even though I’d wanted to take Ryker up on his offer at the bar, I’d been too scared to go through with it. So instead, I pushed him away.
Chicken shit.

As I put my clothes back on, Bryce commented, “I’ve missed you, Ky.”

What’s with him lately? He’s never been so affectionate.
“We saw each other last week,” I reminded, my response cut and dry as I avoided his penetrating gaze.

“I know, I’ve just missed you,” he said with sincerity as he sat next to me on the bed. He tucked a strand of my wild, sex hair behind my ear before caressing my cheek.

What do I say to that?
“Thanks.” It sounded more like a question than an expression of gratitude.

“Thanks?” he chortled without humor.

Squeezing the bridge of my nose with my fingers, I replied, “What do you want me to say, Bryce?”

He stood angrily as he said, “I don’t know, maybe that you missed me too.”

But I haven’t. I’ve been too consumed with Ryker to think about anyone else.
“I’m sorry—you know I don’t do feelings well.” I really didn’t.

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”

After Bryce walked me to my car, I drove home, thinking about the events of the night, wondering why I couldn’t have just let go and lose myself in Ryker like I’d wanted to.

I didn’t see Ryker again until class on Thursday. He wasn’t at the gym on Wednesday when I went after work. I hated the gnawing feeling in my chest from not seeing him, and I thought I was going to explode once it combined with the knots in my stomach from the anticipation of finally seeing him again at class.

When I arrived, he was hitting one of the bags. Sweat glistened over his skin as he fluidly moved, doing intricate combinations while simultaneously delivering substantial force. His muscles bulged as he used them expertly, and I found myself drawing closer to him, enthralled by his power and grace.

Seeing me out of the corner of his eye, he stopped before turning, his lips curving up in a cocky grin, “Like what you see?”

Um, yeah.
Ignoring his comment, I responded,
“I’m just trying to see the correct form so I can get better. I suck at this stuff.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty terrible,” he replied jokingly as he leaned against the bag. When I glared at him, he continued, “You just started—you’re not going to be an expert from the get go. But honestly, you’ve been doing great.”

I felt my cheeks heat—
seriously? Get a grip.
“Thanks,” I replied before pausing. “I’m sorry about the other night.”

He chuckled, “I think I’m having deja vu.”

I smiled. “I’m just not good at this—whatever this is.”

“A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have any trouble with guys.”

Yeah, and they shouldn’t have issues because of their brother molesting them either.
“I’m not like other women. I’ve already warned you that I have issues.”

“And I thought I made it clear that I didn’t care.” He pushed off the bag and came toward me. “I want to get to know you, Kaiya.”

“I’m not looking for a relationship,” I stated firmly, locking my eyes with his as I crossed my arms over my chest.

Ryker’s lips tipped up in that sexy smirk. “I guess we have something in common then.”

“I don’t just want a one night stand, either,” I blurted, surprised that I had voiced what I wanted. My stomach knotted uncomfortably as I waited to hear his response.

Those deep, beautiful eyes of his studied me, and I wished I could hear what he was thinking. “So, you want something between a one night stand and a relationship, huh?”

I sighed, “I don’t know what I want. This is all happening so fast for me.”
I want you, though.

He kept our eyes locked as he said, “Well, when you figure it out, let me know. I don’t want to keep pressuring you if you’re not ready.” His tone was sincere, but I still didn’t trust his words.

“Thank you for understanding.” The skeptical side of me wondered if he was trying to play me, telling me what I wanted to hear so that I’d give into him. But the smaller part of me, the optimistic side, hoped that it wasn’t just an act. “What are we working on today?”

“I’ll probably work with you again on the techniques we’ve done, but I also want to show you some blocks and other moves to keep you from getting in those situations.”

I get to have that body pressed against me again? Yes, please.
“Okay, sounds good,” I replied, hiding my excitement.

As I turned to walk away, he asked, “Hey, do you want me to help you with some punches before class starts? I can give you some one-on-one attention.”

Yes! Yes!
“Sure, that’s fine. I bought some gloves,” I said, trying to pretend I wasn’t jumping for joy on the inside as I pulled my new gloves out of my bag.

“Great, put them on and meet me at the bag.”

I set my stuff down by the wall before slipping my gloves on. I don’t know why, but just putting them on made me feel powerful and in control, like I could take on anyone. Even
him.

When I came up to the bag, Ryker surprised me by walking around and standing behind me. Stiffening, my heart skipped a beat before going into overdrive, thumping wildly in my chest as I nervously asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to show you how your body needs to be moving with each strike,” he replied unaware of the panic overtaking me. He was so close that I could feel the heat from his body at my back. Pressing his large, muscular chest against me, he ran his hands over my arms, causing goose bumps to break over my skin.

For some reason, I wasn’t scared like I would normally be if someone was this close to me. I was nervous as fuck, but not afraid. Excited, but not afraid. I still couldn’t understand why Ryker was different, why he made me feel so many things other than fear. The only thing I knew was that I liked it.

His gloved hands covered mine as he instructed, “Relax—you’re always so tense. Kickboxing is very fluid and is all about moving your body the right way.”