The Scars of Us (29 page)

His statement broke the dam holding my tears. “I don’t know what I did to deserve what he did to me,” I choked through the sorrow clenching my throat.

Ryker clasped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You didn’t deserve
any
of what he did. You hear me, Ky? None of it. What you deserve… what you deserve is to have everything you ever wished for. You deserve happiness, not sadness, love, not pain. You deserve more than I could ever give you, but I’m damn well going to try to give you everything you deserve.”

I wanted to tell him that he was everything I ever wanted, more than I deserved, but there was still that small part of me that cowered in fear, afraid to give myself completely to Ryker. So I didn’t say anything, like the coward I’d always been.

His thumbs wiped away the tears on my face before he kissed me, ever so gently. “Let’s get you home.”

Ryker drove me home, despite my protesting that I was okay to drive. I usually took the underground transit to work so I wouldn’t have to pay ridiculous amounts for parking. Kamden could take me to pick
up my car
the next day when we went to work out, so it wasn’t a big deal.

When we got to my apartment, I asked Ryker to come up. I was still fighting the feelings brought on by the events of the day and really needed him. Enough so that I was willing to deal with whatever Kamden had to say about it.

I walked up to the door, worried that Kamden would be on the other side and give me a hard time about Ryker. But as I opened it and stepped in, our apartment was dark except for a small light shining from the kitchen.

“Kam, I’m home,” I called out, but there was no response. Ryker followed behind me to the kitchen and laid down the bag from the Chinese takeout we had picked up. When I went to the refrigerator to get plates and drinks, I found the note Kamden left, letting me know he had gone out with some friends.
Good for him.

Ryker’s arms wrapped around my waist and I leaned back against him. “He’s not here. Went out with friends,” I said, feeling a sense of relief. Kamden spent so much time taking care of me that he seldom did anything for himself.

“That’s great. I get you all to myself,” he whispered in my hair before pressing a kiss to my temple.

I brought my hands over his, smiling. “That sounds really nice.” I took in another deep breath, inhaling his masculine scent before I pulled out of his hold. “We better eat.”

Grabbing some dishes, Ryker helped me set the table. I glanced up at him periodically as we fell into a comfortable domestic routine, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, thinking about how normal we seemed.

After finishing dinner, I started cleaning up the to-go boxes and plates when Ryker disappeared from the kitchen. I was slightly irritated that he wasn’t helping me, but I wasn’t going to say anything about it, not wanting to cause any tension between us. I’d had enough drama for one day.

As I was putting the last of everything in the trash, Ryker called from down the hall, “Hey, babe, can you come here for a second?”

I wiped my hands on a dish towel and threw it on the counter. I went to my room, but when I entered, he wasn’t in there.
What is he up to?

“In here,” Ryker said, his voice coming from my bathroom.
What’s he doing in there?
The door was slightly ajar, so I slowly pushed it open before stepping into the room. My eyes widened in surprise as a smile spread over my lips.

The room was dimly lit by candles that I had along the rim of my garden tub. Bubbles crested the top of the bath water that Ryker must have drawn for me while I cleaned up our dinner.

“I thought you needed to relax after today, so I got a bath ready for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

Walking over to him, I slipped my arms around his neck. “No, I don’t mind. This is just what I needed. Thank you so much, baby.”

“I’ll let you relax,” Ryker said as he leaned down. He pressed a kiss to my lips, then grinned and stepped around me and out of the bathroom.

The bath was exactly what I had needed, and I felt so much better after getting out. My muscles felt relaxed and most of the negativity still plaguing me had washed down the drain with the bathwater.

Wrapping my towel around me, I walked into my bedroom, ready to thank Ryker again for being so considerate. As I opened my mouth to speak, I immediately closed it when my gaze landed on him. He was sleeping on top of the comforter of my bed.

My heart warmed at the sight of him sleeping so peacefully. He had said earlier that I deserved more than him, but he was wrong. He was perfect for me; if anything, I didn’t deserve him.

Not wanting to wake him, I quietly grabbed clothes to change into for bed and went back in the bathroom. He was still asleep when I came out, and I gnawed on my bottom lip as my thoughts attempted to ruin everything.
I’ve never had a guy spend the night in my bed before. I don’t know if I can do this. Sleeping over at his house was one thing, but at mine is another. This is more personal, more intimate.

Sitting cautiously on my bed, careful not to wake Ryker, I studied him as my mind warred.
Ryker won’t hurt you. Look at everything he’s done for you. You already broke your rule anyway.

My decision made, I slipped under the covers. The movement caused Ryker’s eyes to open. He blinked several times before his gaze met mine. “I didn’t realize how tired I was,” he yawned. “I better get going.”

“You wanna stay?” My tone was hopeful, yet nervous.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” he asked with a teasing grin.

Rolling my eyes, I smiled. “You’re right. I guess you should go, then.” I started pushing him off the bed for emphasis.

Grabbing my arms, he pulled me into him. “You know I like breaking rules, especially yours. I’ll stay.”

Letting go of me, he stood and kicked off his shoes. I was entranced by the rippling of his muscles as he removed his shirt and stripped his shorts off, leaving him in only his boxer-briefs.
Dear lord, thank you for this man.

Joining me under the covers, he wrapped me in his embrace, spooning me. I felt his hot breath on my neck right before he placed a kiss there and whispered, “Night, Warrior.”

Laying my arms over his, I snuggled back into him. The smile was still on my face as I drifted into sleep.

Kaiya’s screams woke me in the middle of the night. Gasping for air, she sat up and clutched her throat as tears ran down her face. I tried to rub her back once I sat up, but she jerked away as soon as I touched her.

“Hey, it’s just me, Warrior. You’re safe,” I murmured softly, trying to soothe her.

Her eyes were wide with fear as she looked at me, examining every inch of my face, making sure it was really me. Finally, she leaned into my body and sighed before starting to sob again.
Fuck, I hate when she cries.
Pulling her into my lap, I attempted to comfort her, just like earlier that day. “Shh, baby. Don’t cry. I’m not going to let him hurt you ever again.”

Heavy footsteps pounded outside the door, getting louder with every step. Bursting into the room, Kamden flipped on the light, and his eyes darted from Kaiya in my arms to my face. “What did you do to her?” he seethed, his teeth gritted and fists clenched as he approached the bed.

“Nothing—she had a nightmare,” I defended. Kaiya had her face buried in my chest. Her tears dripped down my skin as she continued to cry uncontrollably.

“Let me have her,” he demanded, motioning with his hands for me to hand her to him.

I felt like I was having deja vu from the night she was attacked. I shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. I’ve got her.”

Kamden’s nostrils flared as we stared each other. “You and me,” he gestured stiffly, the anger evident in his tone and body. “We need to have a talk.”

“Not right now we don’t,” I countered, not backing down.

He stuck his jaw out defiantly. “In the morning.”

“Fine,” I clipped.
Leave already.

He angrily stalked out of the room without another word, leaving me alone with Kaiya.
Finally.
Softly stroking her hair, I whispered words of comfort and rocked her gently. I didn’t know how long we sat there like that, but I didn’t care. She needed me, and I was going to do everything I could to be there for her.

Once she finally pulled away, her face was splotchy and her eyes were red. Moisture streaked her cheeks as she gazed up at me, still loosely holding her throat.

“Wanna talk about it, baby?”

She scanned over my face again as she bit her bottom lip, deciding whether or not to tell me. I expected her to say no, but she shocked me by nodding and letting out a heavy breath.

“We were seventeen. Kaleb had been more aggressive than normal for a few weeks, so I’d been avoiding him as much as possible, staying late at school, hanging out at Nori’s, partying, going anywhere but home. That really pissed him off, and…” She paused as a sob broke through. I rubbed her back while she took some deep breaths to calm herself. Her voice was still shaky when she spoke again. “He… he took it out on me one afternoon when no one else was home. He took off my clothes, and started touching me, which I was used to already, but then… then he started taking off his clothes, too,” she softly cried, choking back another sob.

My body was a volcano ready to erupt with rage.
How could her brother, her twin no less, do that to her?

“He’d never done that before, and I put two and two together, knowing what he planned to do. Usually he just took my clothes off, but he’d caught me having sex with a guy from our school, found out that I’d given something away that was supposedly his, so he wanted to take it back. I mean, it wasn’t the first time that I’d had sex, but it was the first time Kaleb had found out about it.”

One hand squeezed mine as the other fingered the scar on her throat. “I fought against him, but then he pulled a knife to my throat. He touched me more before stopping to take off his shirt. I tried to get away then, but he caught me before I got to the door. He pinned me and pressed the knife into my neck.” She took a deep breath, and her lip quivered as a few more tears trickled down her face. She composed herself some before continuing, barely above a whisper, “Kamden came home early and busted through my door. He pulled Kaleb off me, but I ended up getting cut in the process. Kamden beat Kaleb unconscious, and then called 911.”

Wow.
“What happened after that?”

“I had to tell the police everything, which was so much. Things had been going on for as long as I could remember, even when we were really young. I didn’t know it at the time, but he was overly affectionate and touched me inappropriately. It progressed over time, and he started becoming aggressive and possessive, touching me regularly when we started middle school. Everyone questioned me, asking me why I didn’t say anything sooner, but it was all I ever knew. I thought it was normal until high school, but even then, I was too scared of him. He always said he’d kill me if I told anyone, and I believed him. I didn’t think anyone would believe me anyway. I mean, Kaleb was my twin. Who would think that my own—” she sobbed, unable to speak anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Warrior,” I murmured as I placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

Tilting her head, she looked up at me as I cradled her in my arms, her hand covering her throat. Gazing down at the beautiful, broken woman in my arms, all I could think about was how I could save her from her darkness, the darkness created by someone who should have never been the cause of it.

Reaching my hand up, I lay it on top of hers. I wanted her to feel less self-conscious about her scar, to let go of the fear and negativity associated with it. Slowly pulling her hand away, I kept our eyes locked. She slightly stiffened but didn’t pull away or object to my actions.

I ran my fingers through her hair as I gently tipped her head back. Bringing her closer to me, I leaned down to her neck and pressed light kisses along the scar on her throat. Her body trembled as she cried beneath my lips before she grasped my face in her hands.

Moving my head away from her neck, she brought my mouth up to meet hers. Connecting our lips, she wrapped her arms around my neck and molded against me. I felt her tears on my face before she pulled away and brought our foreheads together. “Thank you,” she whispered.

I wiped the tears from her cheeks before laying us back down. Positioning our bodies together, I enveloped her in my arms as my body fit to hers. Kissing the back of her neck, I murmured, “Go back to sleep, baby. I got you.”

Moving closer to me, she relaxed in my embrace. A short while later, her breathing deepened as sleep found her again, and I hoped that I could keep her nightmares away.