The Scars of Us (24 page)

Me: I can’t see you like that anymore but I still want to be friends

My phone started ringing as Bryce’s number popped up on my screen. I swiped the reject key and left my phone on the bed to get ready before Ryker arrived. I heard the phone ringing again as I hopped in the shower, but I ignored it.
Hopefully, he’ll understand.

Once I finished getting ready, I put on a pair of jeans and an off-the-shoulder tee before putting on some light make-up. I’d always been okay with using a small compact mirror because I didn’t see every feature at once, so I didn’t see
him.
Otherwise, who knew what I would go outside looking like.

As I went downstairs to meet Ryker, I looked at my phone and noticed that I had more missed calls and text messages from Bryce. I’d have to figure out how to deal with that later before it blew up in my face, but I was too excited about going out with Ryker that I pushed my worries aside.

He was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs again, wearing a snug, white Henley shirt that looked ridiculously amazing on him, but he looked good in everything. Ryker would look hot even in a garbage bag.

Once I reached him, he picked me up in a hug. Slowly, he let me slide down his body before kissing me deeply. I was beginning to understand what Ryker meant about addiction, because he was becoming my own personal drug, especially when he kissed me like that, to where I felt it all the way in my toes.

“Ready to go?” he asked after he pulled away from me.

“Yes. Where are we going?”

“I thought we’d get some lunch in Boston before my surprise.”

“Another surprise?” I questioned as a smile curved over my lips.
A girl could get used to this.

He smiled as he helped me into his truck before wordlessly closing the door. When he got in on his side, he was still grinning from ear to ear.
What is he up to?

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you, or it’d ruin the surprise. But, trust me, you’ll like it.”

He started the truck and started driving toward Boston. We grabbed a quick lunch at a local eatery before we drove toward the Boston Wharf. Excitement started to fill me as we neared—I loved the water, envied how it was so fluid and free, something that had always been an unattainable feeling for me.

When we headed toward the Central Wharf, I had a good idea of where we were going. “Are you taking me to the New England Aquarium?” I practically squealed in delight.

He didn’t answer, but his smile told me my answer. I clapped happily and actually squealed in glee that time. Ryker began to laugh as the aquarium came into view and I couldn’t wait to get there. I’d visited a couple of times when I was little, but I’d never been back.

Once we parked in the garage directly across from the aquarium, I basically jumped out of the truck and bounced up and down in excitement as I waited for Ryker. I had told him last night how much I loved the water and animals, especially ocean animals—he was definitely gaining some serious points with me.

After we got out of the elevator, he linked our hands together as we walked toward the entrance. My chest and stomach tightened happily from the gesture, and I felt all tingly inside. Ryker caused me to feel so many things that I’d never felt before, and I briefly contemplated whether any of the new feelings could be love.

The idea should’ve scared me, would’ve scared me before I met Ryker. Love was dangerous because it meant trust, and trust meant vulnerability. Vulnerability meant that I would be opening myself up to be hurt, and I couldn’t afford to be hurt by anyone else; I’d never survive it. I always avoided commitment and attachment for that reason, but Ryker was starting to change my mind. He was showing me that trust could be earned, and that love might not be such a bad thing after all. It might be just what I needed to heal.

After Ryker bought our tickets, we started with the first area on the floor level, which housed harbor seals, penguins, and the Shark and Ray Touch Tank exhibits. The seals were outside, so we started there and worked our way in, spending extra time playing with the sharks and rays.

We made our way towards the back, going through the penguin and tropical fish exhibits. While we were looking at the fish, I noticed Ryker was texting on his phone. A smile tipped his lips as he typed, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was texting another girl. My happiness began to fade, and I hated the ugly twisting in my gut.

I almost pulled away when he grabbed my hand, but I didn’t want to overreact and jump to any conclusions. I knew the gnawing feeling I had would eventually eat at me until I said something, but I wanted to try and hold it in until we got back to his truck.

Ryker guided me to the back of the first level, which housed more seals and sea lions. “We already saw seals,” I said, irritated, my mood beginning to sour.

We stopped right outside the doors that led outside to the exhibit. His phone chimed with a new text message and he took it out to look at it, causing irrational anger to take over me.

“I’m right here, you know. You could at least wait until I go to the bathroom or something to text one of your other girls,” I spat before storming off.

His hand lightly gripped my arm and pulled me back to him. “What are you talking about, Ky?”

I snatched my arm from his grasp and accused, “You know what I’m talking about. I saw how you looked when you were texting—you were talking to some other girl.”

“No, I wasn’t—I told you there are no other girls, baby.”

I scoffed. “Then, who were you texting?”

Just then, a guy in a diver’s suit walked inside from a side door. He saw Ryker and greeted, “Hey, ready?”

I looked between them, perplexed about how they knew each other and what the man was referring to. Ryker then spoke, “Kaiya, this is Mike, a client of mine from the gym. He’s arranged for us to have a personal encounter with the seals. That’s who I was texting.”

“Oh,” I replied, my face heating from embarrassment.
Way to overreact.

I was about to apologize when Mike interrupted, “Let’s go—we’re not even supposed to be doing this right now, so we have to do it quick.”

Mike turned around and sped back through the door he came in, which had an “Employees Only” sign on it. I looked up at Ryker. “I’m sorry,” I meekly apologized.

“It’s okay. I kinda like that you were jealous,” he teased with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes and followed after Mike. Ryker came up next to me before holding the door open and ushering me in. Mike waved us over to a desk before saying, “I’ve lost almost a hundred pounds thanks to Ryker. I would’ve never been able to do it without his training, so I owe him big time. This was the least I could do.”

“I really appreciate this, Mike. Thanks,” Ryker replied.

“No, thank you. I wouldn’t have reached my goal without your help.”

Ryker smiled proudly as Mike led us into an adjoining room. “Put these on and meet me back in the waiting area when you’re finished.”

He handed Ryker and me a pair of the pants that fisherman wear over their clothes when they walk in shallow areas of water to fish. They reminded me of rubber overalls as I slipped into them. Excitement began to fill me again, and I felt terrible for accusing Ryker of something he didn’t do when he was planning something special for me. I locked eyes with him as I apologized again, “I’m really sorry. Thank you for this.”

He wrapped me in a hug, “Don’t worry about it, Warrior. Let’s have some fun.”

Draping an arm over my shoulder, he led me back into the waiting area. Mike then took us through the doors outside to the pool where the seals were.

There were five seals swimming in the water, along with another employee in a scuba suit. Mike got in before us, then Ryker followed and helped me in. Mike then introduced us to the other trainer, Sarah, before giving us more information about what we were going to be doing.

“During your interaction, you can feed and touch the seals. You’ll probably get wet, but this is definitely an experience you’ll never forget so have some fun with it.”

Some of the seals had started swimming around us in circles, while the others jumped in and out of the water a short distance away. Reaching out to the one that was closest to me, I placed my hand on it as it glided by. I laughed as it turned around and stuck its flipper out of the water and waved as it came back toward me.

“It wants to shake your hand,” Sarah commented.

I looked at Ryker, who nodded. Focusing back on the seal, I tentatively stretched my hand toward its flipper and grasped it. It wiggled in my hold as I shook it and giggled. When I pulled away, it sat up in the water and swam to me before kissing me on the cheek and diving back under the water.

“Did you see that?” I exclaimed with a huge smile as I turned toward Ryker.

He laughed, “Yeah. I think he likes you. Should I be jealous?”

“I don’t know, he was pretty cute,” I joked.

“Maybe I need to show him that you’re my girl,” he replied before moving toward me and kissing me deeply. “Think he gets the picture?”

“I don’t know, I think you need to show him again,” I teased before smiling up at him.

Ryker pressed his lips against mine again as he pulled me into him, framing my face in his hands. As usual, his kiss left me slightly breathless when we broke apart, and I hoped that never changed.

We spent another twenty minutes playing with the seals before we fed them and exited the tank. Before we left, Mike stopped us and said, “We took some pictures of your interaction. Would you like to see them?”

“Sure,” I replied enthusiastically. I definitely wanted some mementos to remind me of our experience, even though I knew that I’d never forget it.

Mike led us to a computer before pulling up our photos on the screen. I wasn’t great with photos, but I was able to deal with them better than mirrors. There were some great candid shots, but the one that caught my eye was of when Ryker kissed me.

The shot was of right before our lips met. Ryker’s hands cupped my face and my arms were wrapped around his waist. Both of our eyes were closed as we anticipated the kiss, and the look on our faces… well, it reminded me of two people in love. I was no expert, but I’d seen couples in love before. They had that stupid, enamored look that I’d always envied because I thought I’d never have it. And there I was, on that screen, with it plastered all over my face. And so was Ryker.

There was a sign on the wall behind the desk where the computer was that listed the prices of the photos. I pulled my wallet out of my purse as I told Mike, “I want to buy some, please.”

“I’ll get them, baby,” Ryker offered.

“It’s okay, I can pay for them—you’ve spent enough today.”

Ryker scoffed and firmly stated, “You’re not paying.”

As I was about to argue more, Mike interrupted, “Write down the numbers of the ones you want and I’ll get them processed while you two figure out the payment.”

“I’m paying,” Ryker repeated as I started to write down the numbers of the ones I wanted. I wanted them all, but it would’ve cost way too much, so I chose the five that I liked best before sliding the paper to Ryker. He wrote down only three, including the one of us right before we kissed.

He handed the sheet to Mike, who began typing on the keyboard. Once he finished, he stood and said, “I’ll be right back with your pictures.”

When he returned, he held two photo envelopes and a disc. “These are on the house.”

“No, Mike, you’ve done enough today. I—”

Mike interrupted Ryker’s statement, “I insist. It’s the least I can do after everything.”

“I was just doing my job—you really don’t have to do this.”

Mike looked at me. “Is he always this persistent?”

“You mean stubborn?” I replied, laughing.

Ryker glared at me as Mike insisted, “Seriously, man, it’s on me.”

“Thank you,” Ryker conceded, shaking Mike’s hand. “I’ll give you some free training sessions for all this.”

“I can’t say no to that. I’ll text you to set them up, okay? I have to get back to work.”

We said our goodbyes and thanked Mike again, then went back into the main aquarium. We toured the rest of the floors before heading back to Ryker’s truck.

When we got in, my phone started ringing. The screen showed that Bryce was calling me again. I declined it and stuffed the phone back in my purse.

“Who was that?” Ryker asked as he started the truck.

“Bryce.”

“Bryce? You still talk to him?” Ryker questioned defensively, his tone becoming harsh as his face hardened slightly.

“I’ve been ignoring him, but I finally told him that I couldn’t see him anymore, but that I still wanted to be friends. He’s called me a few times after I sent the message, but I haven’t answered.”

His features relaxed some, but I could tell he was still pissed off. “Maybe he needs to be talked to personally.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think seeing him will help—he’ll probably try to convince me to change my mind.”

“I meant me,” he replied gruffly.

That wouldn’t end well.
“You don’t have to do that—I’m sure he’ll get the picture.”

“He better,” he grumbled.

His irrational jealousy caused a smile to take over my lips. I tried to hide it, but it was almost impossible when he looked so adorable scowling over the whole thing when he had nothing to be worried about. “There’s no reason for you to be mad, baby.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m just pissed that he wants what’s mine, and doesn’t seem to be taking the hint.”

“I didn’t know I had become property all of a sudden,” I replied, slightly offended, even though Ryker referring to me as his caused a little spark of pride within me. Not to mention lust.

“You know what I mean, Ky.”

“No, I don’t. I don’t even know what to call this,” I gestured back and forth between us.

“It doesn’t matter what this,” he mimicked my movement, “is called—together, dating, whatever. All that matters is that you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

We had locked eyes during the exchange, and his softened once he finished speaking. “I just don’t want him to think he has any chance with you when he doesn’t. He doesn’t, right?”