Johnny gets up. “I think I’ll go help Holliday with Neil and CJ.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“Yeah, but something tells me Dex is here to see you, so I should.”
I silently agree, thinking he’s probably right. Watching as he walks away, they greet each other and talk. They both look at me, then away again. Something else is said and Dex nods. One more handshake and a hug, then Dex heads my way.
He stops a few feet away from me and squats. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
After a quick glance over his shoulder, he looks at me again and says, “Is I’m sorry even going to work anymore?”
I keep my head down, but can’t resist peeking up at him. “I don’t know. Try it.”
“I’m sorry, Rochelle. I’m so damn sorry.”
“Why? Why are you sorry?”
“Because I pushed the good in my life away again.”
“It’s a bad pattern, Dex”
Sitting down, he stretches his legs out and taps my shoes with his. “Has it really been four years?”
I take in a deep breath and slowly exhale. “It has.” Looking into his eyes to see if I still know the man before me, I ask, “Why are you here?”
“Because I miss him and I needed to make things right with him before I tried to make them right with you.”
“Looks like you get two for one today.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m tired of apologies. I’m just tired, Dex. You know nothing goes as planned when it comes to emotions. We can’t control our feelings. We can only try to control our reactions. So as much as I want to open my arms and kiss you again,” I say, “I can’t right now.”
He pulls something from his shirt pocket. When he turns it over, he shows me. It’s the photo from his bedroom and the one I packed in his duffle before shipping it to him. “You’ve seen the photo, but I should explain.”
“Is now the time?”
“I took it from Cory’s stuff years ago. I shouldn’t have. I always felt bad for stealing it, for betraying our friendship like that, for being in love with his woman. I didn’t care when it came down to it. I couldn’t give it back. I even helped him search the hotel room for it.”
“Dex—” His name comes with a warning. He’s getting too close to territory I can’t have him enter or I’ll lose it entirely.
“I came here to return it to him. I was a shitty friend to him and he never gave up on me. You never gave up on me either, so I can at least return the damn picture.”
“The picture doesn’t matter. Your honesty does. He’d understand.”
He laughs. “He’d understand that his friend and the drummer in his band is in love with the same woman as him?”
“No,” I say with a laugh. “Maybe not, but none of that matters now. Just say your peace and don’t worry about the rest.”
“Maybe one day I’ll forgive myself and you’ll find a way to forgive me again, to see the man I was when we were together.”
“Maybe,” I say, not to be cruel, but to let him know I can see he’s not ready yet. I stand up next to him, dusting off my skirt. When I’m done, I remain there without looking at him, my arm touching his. “It all starts with seeing the errors of your way. Stop punishing yourself over the petty stuff that doesn’t matter. There’s a lot of pain that comes with life. Focus on the good you’ve been given.” With my fingers grazing over his shoulders, I walk back to the car.
“Rochelle,” he calls.
I turn around and stop, wanting to hear what he says… and maybe steal one last glance at him before leaving. “Yeah?”
“Do you think you can forgive me?”
“Try me sometime.”
With a gentle smile and a nod, he says, “Until then…”
“Until then…”
Standing there in front of the mail basket, I didn’t know what to make of the invitation in my hand. I’d read it three times already, but decided I need to read it again hoping it would clarify things for me.
Dear Ms. Floros,
You are cordially invited to the home of
Katherine Dexter Caggiano
High Tea
Friday at 3:30 p.m.
Nope, it makes no more sense to why Dex’s mother is inviting me over than it did the first three times I read it. I pull up the planner on my phone and clear it. If she’s asking me over, I feel I should go despite the absence of her son in my life.
I start to wonder if Dex will be there or does he even know I’ve been invited?
I miss him so much.
Lara stops by with lunch.
“I missed you. Stop traveling so much,” I joke. “I kid, kind of. Okay, I mean it. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. I brought us sushi.”
“Excellent. I’m starved. Let’s eat outside.” We walk to the back patio and sit down at the table I’ve set. White wine is poured and we dig into the food and fall back into all the latest gossip. “How was New York?”
“It’s New York. It never changes, yet, it’s always changing. That makes no sense, but I’m just not a New Yorker. I need sunshine and the ocean to inspire me and my designs.”
“I’m glad you’re back. I’ve needed someone to take my mind off things.”
“So Dex hasn’t called?”
“No.” I drag my salmon roll through the wasabi, then say, “I’ve seen so much tragedy come to those who got too much in life too soon. But slowly we’re all working through it, sometimes together, sometimes apart. Dex seems to be caught in a mixture of emotions. He’s happy when he’s with me. I can tell he’s at peace. But something inside of him wants to destroy us, to destroy that peace as if he’s undeserving of it. He’s gonna have to figure this out or we’ll never be together.”
“So you’re willing to wait and see?”
“I am for him, but he doesn’t know that yet.”
“You’re a wonderful person. Better than most.” Lara holds her glass up and we toast. Though I’m not sure what we’re toasting to.
I’m prompt, as everyone should be when invited to afternoon tea. I’ve never had high tea, but I understand there are rules and etiquette that accompany it. Being on time is probably one of them.
The door is opened by Charles. I remember him from the first time we stopped by. “Right this way,” he directs.
I’m quickly intercepted by Judith and her wide smile. “It’s so good to see you again, Ms. Floros.”
“You too, Judith. Please call me Rochelle.”
She nods, and says, “Right this way, Rochelle. Mrs. Caggiano is waiting for you.”
With my hand, I stop her when I touch her forearm. “Should I be worried?”
Her smile eases into reassurance. Her hand covers mine, and she replies, “No, Mrs. Caggiano likes you. I’ve heard only good things from your visit to Diablo. But I will warn you that she’s weak, weaker than she lets on.”
“Thank you.”
I walk into the conservatory. Dex’s mother is seated in the far corner in a plush, floral fabric covered chair as she stares through the glass outside.
“Ms. Floros,” Charles announces.
Mrs. Caggiano turns and smiles when her eyes land on me. “Come in,” she says, starting to stand.
I rush over. “No, don’t get up for me.” Standing before her, she sits back down and reaches a hand out. I take it, and say, “Thank you for having me here for tea today.”
“I’m glad you could join me. Please. Sit,” she says, signaling to a chair next to hers that also faces out toward the gardens.
“I must admit, the invitation was unexpected.”
“Yes, but I’m glad you accepted. We didn’t have enough time to chat in Diablo.”
“Was there something in particular you wanted to chat about?” I ask.
“My youngest son.”
“I should tell you that I care about Dex, but we currently aren’t seeing each other.”
She leans back in her chair and an understanding grin appears. “I know. I don’t mean to pry. I’ve been hands off with him for many years, too many. I’ve failed him in so many ways. I’ve tried to reconcile that with him, but some scars are too deep to heal overnight.” The tea and tray of finger foods arrive on a large silver tray, interrupting her. She waits until everything is set up on the table before us, then continues when we’re alone again. “Antonio and I may not be able to heal all of our old wounds, but I hope he can carry on with less pain weighing on his heart.”
“He’s a good man.”
“You love him though he’s left you… in a way.”
“In a way?” I question, curious to what exactly she knows about our situation.
“He loves you. He’s being a silly man and hoping to spare you his burdens to bear. What he doesn’t understand is that women are built to share our partners’ troubles. Wouldn’t you say?” She leans forward and pours the tea. “Please eat something.”
“I would help him if I knew how, Mrs. Caggiano.” I drink my tea straight and take a bite of a small chicken salad sandwich.
His mother says, “I’ve jumped ahead of myself and forgotten my manners. Please call me Katherine.”
Setting the sandwich down, I dab the side of my mouth with the white cloth napkin. “Thank you.”
After sipping her tea, she says, “I’ll be gone soon. My expiration date, according to the doctors, has come and gone. Yet, I’m not really feeling inspired. I worry. Antonio has been left with a huge responsibility not only with my father’s estate, but his company as well since I won’t be around. I did the best I could to get things in order. I left an internal board to run things for years. I never had a knack for those types of dealings.”
I touch her wrist that is resting on the arm of the chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. Cancer is not how I expected to go… I wonder about my sons and if they’ll make up. They disagree about,” she says, with a light laugh, looking at the floral pattern of the chair, her finger tracing a violet peony. “Pretty much everything. Gage is troubled a lot like my father was. Anto… Dex is like his father. Troubled in other ways.” She looks up. “I need to ask you a favor, Rochelle.”
I want to readily agree, but my heart begins to race and without warrant I start to hold my breath in anticipation of what’s coming next.
She smiles. “Take care of my son when he finds his way back to you.”
A slow exhale is followed by me asking, “How do you know he will?”
“You’re the love of his life. He didn’t have to tell me that, though he did. I could tell the first time I ever saw you with him. Diablo confirmed my suspicions.”