The Presence (20 page)

He stopped. It was not a conscious pause, rather one that seemed somehow called for.
Be still
, a silent voice seemed to say in his head, and TJ stopped.

And the Holy Spirit came into the room.

He could see that it was not just for him. The change was in all their faces.
All
their faces. Not only were they listening. They were
joined
. The group felt the silence. They were brought out from behind their masks of fear and cynicism and illusions of worldly power. They were
listening
.

TJ knew what was to be said. Not a conscious thought, it was a gift that came with the presence of the Spirit. There was no room for doubt, no need to question. He opened his Bible to the book of Mark, found the passage, and looked up.

“It has always helped me to see the Bible as one unified whole,” he began. “It does not stand as separate passages, but rather as building blocks that together form a single structure. They all support each other, just as the individual bricks of a building are built one upon the next. For this reason, we can choose a single theme and see how it is woven throughout the entire Bible. Together these individual passages, these separate little bricks, build a holy shelter. If we can learn to dwell within this House of God, we are protected from the dangers and temptations that constantly swirl around us.”

He looked down, continued. “I am going to read three passages this morning. They are from three different books, but all deal with one particular theme. Watch and see how they strengthen and support each other.

“The first one is from the twelfth chapter of Mark:

“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?'

“‘The most important one,' answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.'”

Quickly TJ turned the pages, found his second passage, noticed that the room was totally silent. There was not even the sound of clinking cups.

“The second reading is from the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

“Love never fails.”

TJ searched, found, said, “The final passage comes from the fourth chapter of First John:

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: Not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another….

“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

TJ closed the Book, felt the Spirit strengthening and intensifying in him. It is only by giving that I can receive, he thought. Thank you, Father, for this chance to give.

“Let us pray,” he said, knowing the words were there for him to speak, to pray, to give.

“O Lord, Heavenly Father, we are so weak and so afraid. To love in a world like this means to take a terrific chance. We don't know how it's going to work out, or how the other person is going to react. Yet you do not tell us to think of such things. You tell us to love. How is this possible in such a world, Father? How can there be hope for the world unless we learn to love, yet how can we love when all about us there is only hate, and when there is so much fear in our hearts?

“The answer is so very clear, so perfectly visible if only we are willing to see. We are incapable of loving without your guidance, without your presence in our lives. We cannot do this alone, Lord. We must turn to you. It is only in you that love is possible. It is only when you are in our hearts and lives that the impossible is done, and the fearful know love.”

He had to stop. He could not go on. There was such a burning in his chest that for a moment he could not breathe. It seemed as though a beam of light was extending out from the center of his chest, bathing the room in a holy fire. He loved, and yet it was not he who was loving. The divine flame of love rushed through him, filling him with an intensity that immobilized him.

He could not move, he could barely concentrate on his own voice. But the words were again there in his mind, and they needed to be spoken.

“Heavenly Father, help us to know love. Help us to know your healing embrace, the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Let us be filled, and in so doing know the inexpressible joy of giving with love to others. With love, Father. With love. Let us know your divine love. In Christ's holy name. Amen.”

The group remained very quiet. People moved with reluctance, standing and walking slowly from the room. TJ fought back the urge to turn and flee, knowing his place was by the door, meeting the people's eyes, shaking hands, thanking them for coming. The gazes were thoughtful, the voices subdued. Someone asked if he was going to do it again on Monday, and the entire room paused to listen to his response. I would be happy to, he said, and he was blessed with a grateful smile.

He started to help Bella and a few others gather cups, but was shooed away. As he departed, a man fell into step behind him, asked if he minded a little company. TJ recognized Carter Williams, the black man who had walked with him from the cafeteria that first day.

“Man, I gotta tell you,” Carter said. “I came because I was curious. You know, here the Dragon Lady herself starts smiling at people and spouting all kinds of wild stuff. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. Lotta people here this morning, they're like me, gotta find out what you did to make the change.”

“I didn't do a thing,” TJ said mildly.

“Yeah, yeah, I kinda see that.” Carter Williams sobered. “My grandmother was real religious. She tried to knock some of that stuff into me, but you know, I just wasn't into it. Never really gave it much thought. Too busy trying to prove I was as good as the next man, white or black.”

“The whole world's out there screaming for our attention,” TJ agreed. “And only one little voice in our heart is whispering, the answer's not out there. It's in here.”

The man nodded several times, clearly wanting to take it all in. “I like the way you say that. Makes a lot of sense. You say you're gonna do it again Monday?”

“Every day anybody wants to listen,” TJ replied.

“Yeah, well, count me in.” Carter slapped him on the shoulder, turned away, said in parting, “It's nice to know somebody's up there who cares. Been a long time since I felt this good.”

****

Congressman John Silverwood entered the congressional hearing rooms that Friday afternoon a very troubled man. He had expected the luncheon with TJ Case to be a power play. The new man was to be shown who held the keys to turn policy into legislative reality. TJ needed reminding how much he owed Silverwood, and in whom his first loyalty rested.

On the surface, all went as planned. Underneath, however, Congressman Silverwood was not so sure.

He met TJ at the Occidental, the restaurant in the Willard Hotel just a block down Pennsylvania Avenue from the White House. Although he did not often have an opportunity to come here, it was fast becoming one of Silverwood's favorites. The entire place had been renovated to the grandeur of an earlier era and reeked of political lore. Julia Ward Howe was said to have penned “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” there. President Ulysses S. Grant would come over and sit in the ornate lobby, smoking his cigar and drinking a brandy, and try to escape from the pressures of running a nation. He was said to have created the term “lobbyists” right here, for all the characters who used the opportunity to bend the President's ear.

The wood-lined restaurant was filled with murmuring voices, the air heavy with the smells of rich perfume, richer food, and power. It was a heady mixture. Silverwood felt a satisfying thrill in going through such restaurants nowadays—to be recognized and need to stop and chat with people along the way gave him a sense of belonging, of importance.

When TJ joined him and declined his offer of a drink, Silverwood recalled the man's religious bent. The discussion began immediately, with TJ offering very clear and intelligent assessments of the political and the structural difficulties he would need to overcome in making his assignment work.

Nonetheless, as the luncheon progressed, Silverwood became increasingly perplexed. TJ did not discuss these matters as though talking to a confidential ally. Regardless of how sensitive the information might have been at this stage of policy development, Silverwood was convinced that TJ would have said the very same thing to anyone who had asked.

Silverwood tried to discuss the need for secrecy, the essential fact that political power was won by being the first to present a new idea. The media focused on one person, the leader. All spotlights turned his way. If a foe was to hear of this and steal the limelight, TJ would gain nothing for all his hard work.

TJ listened intently, nodded occasionally, said nothing. Silverwood was left with the feeling that the man disagreed in some fundamental way. But for the life of him, Congressman Silverwood could not understand why. Like himself, TJ Case had everything to lose and nothing to gain by premature disclosures.

Upon mentioning the fact that TJ owed him for both the job and for the furthering of his future career, TJ replied with a very solemn note of thanks. He promised to do the very best job possible. But even with this, Congressman Silverwood remained unconvinced. TJ Case had seemed like a man who really, deep down at heart, did not care.

When Silverwood finally asked him if everything was all right, TJ replied, I was just about to ask you the same thing. Silverwood, surprised, asked, what do you mean by that? Well, Case said with a voice of eerie calmness, you seem a little concerned about something. I was worried that maybe you were facing something you didn't know how to handle.

For a moment, fear clutched at Silverwood. He wondered if there was some way the man could have known about the problems he faced with his wife. If one person knew, all of Washington would be discussing it over breakfast the next morning. Silverwood pushed it away with a short laugh. Stress and pressure are always a part of this job, he said. TJ Case answered, yet peace and fulfillment are always a part of God's plan. It is those who know the greatest stress that remain in the greatest need.

Before Silverwood could recover, a man approached their table. When Silverwood realized who it was, his shock deepened.

Senate Minority Whip Richard Atterly was a tall angular man in his late sixties, ramrod straight and impatient to the point of curtness with anyone he felt was wasting his time. He looked down at Silverwood's luncheon companion, said, “You're TJ Case, aren't you?”

TJ removed his napkin, stood respectfully, said, “Yes, sir, I am.”

“Thought so. Heard so much about you I figured it must be you. You fit their description exactly.”

“I don't believe I—”

“Atterly. Richard Atterly. Senator from Rhode Island. I've got two secretaries and four staffers who went to your prayer meeting this morning. Came back determined to make every one of them from now on, even if it means crawling off their deathbeds. Even got me to wrangle passes out of Personnel so they won't have trouble getting in from now on.”

“That's rather flattering,” TJ said mildly, “but there must be some group meeting in their own building.”

“That's right, there is. A Bible study every Thursday. I was one of the people who got it started. Haven't had time to get to it recently, what with one thing and another.”

“What could be more urgent than giving time to prayer and studying the Lord's Word?” TJ's voice was respectful, yet direct.

Senator Atterly regarded him from under bushy eyebrows, laughed a short bark. “You're just exactly like they say. Have a way of making the impossible swallowable.”

“Nothing the Lord wills us to do is impossible,” TJ replied.

“I wonder about that sometimes,” Atterly said, growing somber. Then, “What is it you're doing here in Washington?”

“I am Special Assistant to the President for Education.”

“Well, I'm not on the Education Subcommittee myself, but some people think I do have a little clout. You run into any problems, come by and see me.”

“That's very kind of you, sir,” TJ said, showing no emotion over an offer that would have sent any other Washington insider into orbit. “Perhaps you would do me the honor of joining us for one of the prayer meetings.”

Piercing blue eyes regarded him steadily for a moment before Atterly replied, “Why not? I've got some meetings over there Monday morning. I'll see if I can't get there early enough.” He looked over to where Silverwood stood waiting to be recognized. “Haven't I seen you around?”

“Congressman Silverwood, sir. We met at the Republican party meeting last month.”

“Ah yes, the young man from North Carolina. Heard some nice things about you.” They shook hands. “Well, don't let me disturb your lunch. Hope to see you on Monday, Mr. Case.”