The Presence (17 page)

“Being honest about the emptiness is the hardest step a person can take,” TJ agreed.

“I guess I'd just about given up on ever finding anything that would give my life meaning.” She gave him a shy smile. “I can't tell you how much this means to me.”

“Don't thank me,” TJ told her. “Thank God. This is very important, something the apostle Paul talks about. You have to understand that no one can come between you and your Savior—not a teacher, not a friend, not even a cause.”

“I've never really studied the Bible. My mother used to have a big one up on a shelf in the living room, but I can't ever remember her taking it down and reading it.”

“I'm glad you bought one for yourself,” TJ said.

“I was looking through it last night. There's a place in front for someone to sign when they present it.” Her voice became very small. “Would you sign mine for me?”

“Of course.” He took out his black pen and wrote on the presentation page:
To my dear sister in Christ, Bella Saunders. May you ever draw strength and comfort from these words. May you ever draw nearer to your Lord. TJ Case.
Underneath he wrote
John 17:20–26.

He handed the Bible back to her. Bella held it reverently, read the inscription, said nothing. The expression on her face told it all.

TJ cleared his throat. “Well, there are two ways we can go about this. We can take a book of the Bible and study a few verses every day. Or, if you like, we can take a particular theme or idea and see how various passages in the Scriptures address it.”

“Oh, I like the second idea much better,” she said. “I can study the individual books at home, but I don't know enough about the Bible to fit the different pieces together.”

“All right,” TJ agreed. “But when you read at home it is important to study each verse and ask yourself how it applies to your life today. Remember, the Bible is not simply a book written two thousand years ago. It is the living word of God. It is His message to you, a personal gift to help you understand His will and to guide you through this life.”

Bella's expression was solemn, her eyes very wide. TJ felt his heart go out to her, and silently prayed that this dawning of new light would not dim, but would grow and strengthen and remain with her forever.

The day's topic came to him so clearly, he knew it was another gift. Though there was no sense of great power accompanying it, he knew the Lord was directing him again.

“What I like to do is to combine passages from the Old and New Testaments when I am studying an idea,” TJ began. “In that way I get a sense of the continuation of God's will throughout all time. You see, He did not change His law with the coming of His Son; He
built
upon it. He
fulfilled
the Old Testament teachings.”

He opened her Bible and said, “Let's look first at a passage in the Old Testament book of Isaiah, chapter fifty-five, verses six through eight.”

“Wait, wait, let me write it down.” Bella scrambled in her purse for pen and paper. “Okay.”

TJ read:

“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.”

TJ looked up, said, “The greatest freedom God has given us is the freedom to choose which road we will take through life. We can walk the path of darkness, or we can ask Him into our lives and walk the path of eternal life. It is that simple. This Bible passage is important because it says that the time of choosing is not always with us. In my own life, I have found that there are times of tremendous growth, followed by times of calm, as though He is giving me a moment to catch my breath. I think it might be that way for people who do not yet know the Lord. There come moments when the door to faith stands directly in front of them. It is their choice, whether to open it or keep it shut.

“Now let's look at what happens when someone turns away from this opportunity.” He turned the pages. “I am going to read from the New Testament, the first chapter of the book of Romans, verses twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-four, and then twenty-eight through thirty-two.”

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools…. Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another…. Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.”

“He lets them do it,” Bella commented, still bent over the passage.

“If it is what they want, the Lord does not stand in their way,” TJ replied. “And in that last sentence we see what they receive.”

“Death,” she said quietly.

“Eternal damnation, a timeless void of death. The Lord has never sent anyone to hell. But if people insist on ignoring His call and continuing to walk the path of darkness, He will allow them to go their own way. The consequences are based on their personal choices.”

He leafed through more pages. “This final passage is a warning from Jesus Christ to those who seek the way. It comes from the thirteenth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, verses three through eight, and then nineteen through twenty-three.”

TJ read the parable of the sower, concluding with these words:

“But what was sown on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Bella looked at him with solemn eyes. “This is really important.”

“There's nothing more important in all your life.”

She studied the passage. “How do I grow roots like this?”

“By studying the Bible, praying, searching your heart with honesty, asking the Lord daily to strengthen your faith, finding a church that speaks to your heart, and giving to others with love. All these things help. And a lot of other things that we can talk about in future days.”

“Did you mean it when you said we could do this every morning?” Bella asked.

“I would be delighted,” TJ replied. “Perhaps we should start a little earlier if we're going to make this a daily practice.”

“That's fine with me.”

They shared a smile; then TJ said, “Why don't we bow our heads and pray before closing.”

When the silence enveloped them, TJ prayed, “Heavenly Father, we give thanks for this moment of worship at the start of our day. Our hearts are filled with your word and we see with a clarity that is only possible when you are leading us. We were not made for sin, Father. That is so very clear to us at this moment. We were made for love. Our primary task in life is to love you, and our second is to love each other. We have this capacity. You have given it to us. So long as we keep our minds and hearts fastened upon this, we can resist sin. We can resist the false choices. We can see that the darker ways are wrong, and dangerous, and utterly without hope. We thank you for the gift of hope that comes to us when we follow your word. Guide us through this and every day. Fill us with your hope, your joy, and your love. In Christ's holy name we pray. Amen.”

Bella thanked him, gathered her things, and walked to the door. She looked at him with eyes made young, said, “I can't wait until Monday.”

“Hey there, Mr. Case.” Before TJ had even gotten out of the car, Samuel Jones, the airport taxi driver, was there to greet him. “Sure is nice you could make it this mornin'.”

“Good morning, Samuel.” TJ found himself very grateful to see a friendly face. He had always disliked entering a church for the first time. Church to him was a second home.

“I'm very sorry we didn't make it last Sunday,” TJ told him. “I've got a sick daughter, and I decided to go home for the weekend. You remember my friend Jeremy Hughes, don't you?”

“Yessir, Mr. Hughes.” A little strained this time.

“Good mornin', Mr. Jones,” Jeremy said. If he noticed the man's reserve, he did not show it.

Samuel turned back to TJ, his face showing concern. “Sure hope your daughter's doin' better.”

“Not as well as I'd like,” TJ replied quietly.

“Say, I'm sure sorry to hear that. Sure am. I'll be sayin' a prayer for her today, Mr. Case. Never known it to hurt,” he concluded with a smile.

“Thank you, Samuel.” TJ was touched by the man's simple warmth. “That's very kind of you.”

“My pleasure, Mr. Case. Always glad to do a service. Y'all come on with me, want to introduce you to the reverend.”

****

TJ had feared mightily that his daughter was not getting better. Although Catherine kept insisting that it was only a matter of time, TJ worried that she had been keeping the worst from him. So he traveled home, and found his daughter just as Catherine had said, weak but on the mend.

Catherine was delighted to see him, but was scared at the same time. I've spent a lot of time wishing I didn't have to go up to that city, she told him his first night back. But the more I pray about it, the surer I am that this is where He wants us to be. It's hard having you back because it makes it easier to ask if we maybe wouldn't have to go. I'm just about worn out, looking after this sick girl and her two little children. So you gotta promise me if I'm weak and ask for us to stay, you just won't pay me any mind. TJ held her and promised as she asked and wondered at how he'd ever been blessed with such a wife.

He and Jeremy had returned to Washington directly after church on that previous Sunday.

TJ's meetings with Bella that second week continued to go well. They remained the one bright spot in an otherwise troubled time. Work in the office moved at a snail's pace. His days were filled with “Orientation Meetings”; they had little to do with policy and nothing whatsoever to do with education. TJ felt he was being initiated into an exclusive club dedicated to politics and power. Service to the people was not mentioned once the entire week. Not once.

****

Samuel Jones led them around to the back of the church. A tall, stern gray-haired patriarch in flowing black robes stood listening gravely to several women all talking at once. He noticed Samuel Jones standing with the two strangers, and he excused himself and walked over.

“Reverend Wilkins,” Samuel Jones said, “this here's TJ Case and a Mr. Hughes.”

“Good morning.” The reverend shook hands, said, “Samuel tells me you're going to be around here for a while.”

“Yes, sir,” TJ said, liking the man's face. It was hard and strong, brooking no nonsense. The reverend reminded him a little of his grandfather—strength and inner solidity, dedicated to God with single-minded purpose. “It looks that way.”

“Something to do with the government, I understand. Samuel wasn't too clear on that.”

TJ hesitated, said, “I've been appointed Special Assistant to the President for Education.”

There was a little murmur from Samuel, but the only reaction from Reverend Wilkins was, “A mighty important position. Congratulations.”

“I'm just trying to do as the Lord leads me,” TJ replied quietly.

“Now those are nice words to hear on a Sunday morning,” Reverend Wilkins said.

Jeremy spoke up for the first time. “Nicer when they're put into action during the week.”

Reverend Wilkins turned and inspected the white man. “Yessir, they certainly are. Only way I've found of giving words like that any meaning.” He looked back at TJ, said, “I'd be pleased to invite y'all ‘round for lunch if you don't have something else planned.”

TJ glanced at Jeremy. “That's very kind of you, Reverend,” he answered. “We'd be delighted.”

“Fine. We live right back over there, the little red-brick house on the corner. Just come on back when we get through.” The reverend gave them a nod, walked toward the church.

The Jerusalem Baptist Church filled every single inch of its P Street lot. TJ intuitively knew its history as soon as he saw the church. The building was built with the first flush of wealth that infused the black community toward the end of World War Two. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, they had just enough money to buy property and put up the church. The lot was probably the only thing available for a reasonable price in their neighborhood, and they had designed the church around it. There was a strip of grass two feet wide bordering the edifice itself. The entrance stairs emptied directly onto the street. There was neither garden nor sidewalk; such things were for rich white churches with money to burn. These people wanted the biggest church their money could buy, a space for all their people to come and gather and worship God. Gardens could wait for the hereafter. Right now it was more important to have help to make it through this day.

Since that time, the neighborhood had gone through a total transformation. Back when the church had originally been built, Georgetown was largely black and mostly poor. Then had come the gentrification of the sixties and seventies, when the housing prices of that area had shot up to the moon.

The result was that the parishioners sold and moved and lost all connection with neighborhoods and friends and a way of life that was no more. All that survived was the church. It had been the church of their fathers, and remained a magnet for the children today. It was a gathering point for families who traveled from as far away as Maryland and Virginia, all coming together once a week to worship their Lord in the house their fathers had built.