The Pandora Curse (Greek Myth Series Book 4) (14 page)

“There is something wrong here. I cornered the fox. I won this competition, not him.” She pointed an accusing finger at the winner.

“No,” said the announcer, checking the fox they had caged. Vara could see the metal tag dangling from its ear. “This is the fox. This man is the winner.”

So Harold of Corinth had bested her once again. Even though the soothsayer had denied it, this man had destroyed her. She shuddered with the horror of it all.

That gold should be yours.

Take the fruit from him.

Everyone should cheer you, not Harold.

You deserve it, not him.

“No, he’s not the winner I tell you. I won. I am the winner of the hunt. Now give me my gold and fruit.”

She jumped on Harold with such force that it knocked the large man to the ground. She proceeded to pound him with her fists. Two strong hands grabbed her from behind before Harold had a chance to react. She was hauled away, off to the side.

“Leave me alone,” she cried, turning to swing at whoever pulled her off Harold. The man grabbed her fist before it hit his face.

“You are acting very spoiled, Vara. Just face the fact that you didn’t win.”

“Nikolai!” She pulled her hand out of his grip and straightened her clothes. “Something has gone amiss. I should have won.”

“Perhaps the fox you followed was not the one from the game.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “How did you know I followed the wrong fox? You were not there. You cannot have known that.”

A calmness washed over his face. “I am a seer. I know things that others do not. If you would have consulted me before the game started, I would have told you that you would not win.”

“Would you? It seems to me you like it when I lose. Harold destroyed me, yet you said he wouldn’t.”

“Believe me, Vara. You are far from being destroyed.”

Vara looked back to the winner. The crowd raised him up onto their shoulders, chanting and calling out his name. That could have been her. She wished it was. She wanted the glory and the fame. She wanted the food and the gold. She wanted to look admirable in Nikolai’s eyes, but once again she failed. Demoralized and destroyed in two days by a man she didn’t even know.

“We’re leaving at once for Corinth,” she told Nikolai.

“Nightfall is setting in,” he pointed out. “We should wait till the morning.”

“No,” she said, no longer able to stand the cheers from the crowd, nor the feeling of failure. “I said we’re leaving now.”

She raced off through the crowd, pushing and shoving, making her presence known. She snarled at one woman and growled at a man. They looked at her in disgust and moved away. A little child tugged at his mother’s sleeve and she heard what he said.

“Is that the loser, Mama?”

The words cut her to the bone and the Furies invaded her mind.

Did you hear what that insolent knave called you?

Do not let him get away with it.

You are a warrior. Show him who you are.

He should suffer for that.

No one called her a loser. It was more than she could bear. And with the Furies coaxing her, she took a step toward the boy when Nikolai hurried up behind her. Right behind him was Agatha, clutching her wilted rose.

“Don’t do it,” he warned her. “He’s just a child. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

“He called me a loser,” she ground out, trying to push past him. Nikolai held her back and the mother grabbed her son and ran in the opposite direction.

“Let me go.” Vara struggled against Nikolai’s hold.

He wrapped both his arms around her from the back and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“Look at what you’ve become, Vara. Your anger has driven you mad. You were about to confront a little child.”

Agatha approached her next, holding out her wilted flower to Vara. Her big eyes looked up to her, haunting Vara with images of her childhood once again.

“No!” she said, struggling against his grip, breaking free, only to knock into Agatha from the force. The little girl fell to the ground and Vara fell atop her. When she pushed off of her, she realized Agatha’s hand was bleeding.

“Agatha!” screamed Vara, horrified by what she’d done. “Did I hurt you?” Instantly, she gathered the little girl up in her arms. She used the hem of her own garment to wipe away the blood from a scratch on her arm.

“The thorn from her rose stuck her,” said Nikolai.

Vara kissed the little girl’s hand and stood, pulling Agatha up with her.

“My flower.” With tears in her eyes, Agatha pointed to the ground. The flower lay crushed beneath Vara’s foot, smashed by her own weight.

“Oh, Agatha, I am so sorry.”

Agatha clung to Nikolai’s leg and hid her face.

It was more than Vara could bear. She felt like an ogre. A wretched, evil warrior who had not only threatened to hurt a little boy, but had just smashed a little girl’s flower as easy as she had taken the lives of the people of Corinth when she invaded.

“No!” she cried again and ran away from Nikolai and Agatha, wanting to distance herself from everyone and everything. “No, I would never do that. I would never hurt a child.”

You should have won. Go take what is yours.

Teach that boy a lesson for calling you a loser.

Take Nikolai to your tent and make him love you.

Go to the feast and eat your fill.

She ran into her tent and fell to her knees, grabbing her pillow and hiding her head beneath it. Still the voices haunted her. She couldn’t block them out.

You deserve fame and fortune.

Don’t let the seer convince you otherwise.

You need money. You need sex. You need food. Get it now.

“Leave me alone!” she cried, feeling the tears flowing from her like a river. The voices were driving her insane. There was nowhere she could hide. Nowhere she could go to get away from herself, or escape the taunting voices in her brain.

“No! Leave me alone!” She pounded her fists against the pillows and wept so hard her body shook.

Then, she felt him putting his arms around her.

“Vara, it’s all right,” Nikolai comforted her. “Shhhh. It’s all right.”

She turned and buried her tear-stained face in his chest. He ran a hand over her hair and it felt so good.

“It’s the voices,” she told him. “They are driving me mad.”

He rubbed a gentle hand over her back. “Do you mean the Furies?”

“Yes,” she sobbed. “Yes. They haunted my mother enough that she killed my father and then herself. They haunted my grandmother in the same way. I am next, Nikolai. I am going to die. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing to stop this awful curse I’m under.”

“No, Vara. That is not true. There is something you can do.”

She stopped crying and pulled back enough to look him in the eye. “Have you seen my future in your gazing crystal? Do you know what’s going to happen?”

“Shhh,” he said, pulling her closer and kissing her atop her head. “All I meant was that you can change if you want to.”

“Change? I can’t change, Nikolai. I have
The Pandora Curse
.”

“Remember those unforeseen circumstances I told you about?”

She wiped a tear with the back of her hand. “You mean the ones that kept me from winning for the last two days?”

“Aye. Exactly.”

“Yes. Why?”

“Anything can happen, no matter what the future holds. But nothing will happen unless you make it.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“You have to want to change, Vara. You have to want to live a different life than you’ve been living.”

“But I am happy with the life I have,” she protested.

“Are you?”

Doubt lodged in her chest and it felt like a weight so heavy she could barely move.

“What you’re suggesting is that I give up everything I have and own and live the life of poverty?”

“No,” he said. “I am just suggesting you give up that which is making you miserable.”

“I am not miserable,” she commented, then cried harder when she realized she was. “If I could just get rid of the Furies, then I’d be happy.”

“You cannot kill the Furies, Vara. They are only going to get stronger, and you know it. They don’t give up until they have succeeded.”

“Well, I won’t let them. I’ll win, you’ll see. You will be proud of me, Nikolai. You will see I am not a loser.”

He released her, his eyes searching hers. “Is this what it’s all about, Vara? You were trying to please me?”

She felt suddenly very vulnerable. She had never meant to divulge that information. She felt ridiculous confessing this to him. After all, he had said he didn’t love her. He shunned her when she wanted to make love. She didn’t want him to think she needed his approval.

“No, I was not trying to please you.” She pushed to her feet and regained her warrior composure. “I do not care what you think of me, Nikolai. I won’t change for you, nor anyone else.”

He stood across from her, once again filling the space inside the tent. His presence was powerful and she felt her knees weaken.

“Fine,” he said, softly. “Don’t change for me, don’t change for anyone else. But do yourself a favor and look in a mirror. If you truly like what you see, then stay the way you are. If you don’t like what you see, then do something about it. If you respect yourself, then make the changes just for yourself.”

He left her standing there, feeling empty and drained. Confusion swarmed in her head, and doubt lodged in her heart.

Ignore him, Vara.

You are perfect just the way you are.

You don’t need to change for anyone. He is just jealous.

“Zetes!” she called, running to the entrance of the tent.

“Yes, my lady,” he said, coming to meet her.

“Pack our things at once. I want to go home.”

In the distance she saw Agatha watching. As Nikolai approached her, she ran to him and took his hand. They walked away and the little girl glanced over her shoulder at Vara once again. There was no mistaking her look of fear.

Eleven

It was late the next day when they arrived in Corinth. She had tried to convince Agatha to ride with her, but the little girl wouldn’t come near her since yesterday’s happening. This hurt Vara more than anything. Agatha had said she liked her. She had even been forgiving after everything Vara did to Corinth and her father. But now Agatha wanted nothing to do with her. Now she stayed at Nikolai’s side the way she had once stayed by her.

Vara rushed across the courtyard trying to avoid Nikolai. Seeing him only reminded her of everything she hated about herself. She’d made her men travel all night and day, with barely a chance to rest. They didn’t set up camp at all, but rather traveled continuously because she wanted to get home.

She bounded up the stairs taking them two at a time, heading for her chamber. She was angry at herself and angry at Nikolai. The Furies had gotten worse on their journey, and all she wanted to do was to make Nikolai as miserable as she was.

She approached her chamber, but instead of entering, decided to go to Nikolai’s room. She needed to release some of her pent up anger. It was all his fault she was feeling this way.

She entered Nikolai’s chamber, not bothering to close the door.

“Nikolai, where are you?” She looked around, but he’d yet to come back to his room. She planned on waiting for him on the bed, but then she spotted a covered standing mirror in the corner. She kept thinking what Nikolai had said. She wondered if she was brave enough to uncover it and look within.

She made her way slowly to the mirror, trying to ignore the Furies as they warned her not to continue.

No, Vara. Don’t look in the mirror.

You are happy with the way you are.

Do not listen to Nikolai.

No, don’t do it!

She reached out for the cloth, then took her hand back. She wanted to look, but then again she didn’t. She was about to turn away, when a voice stopped her.

“Go ahead, Vara. Look in the mirror.” Nikolai stood in the doorway. He entered and closed the door behind him. “Or are you afraid of what you’ll see?”

“I am not afraid of anything.”

“Really?” He walked up next to her. “Then prove it.”

He whipped away the cloth from the mirror before she had a chance to object. Her eyes shot toward her image reflected there. It was something she had not seen since she was a child.

“What do you see, Vara? Tell me.”

“I . . . I see myself.”

She saw the reflection of a dark-haired woman with heavy thighs and an extra roll of stomach. The cute nose, the thin cheekbones, the single chin she remembered as a child were all gone now. Instead, she saw a gluttonous fool, severely overweight.

She turned away, but Nikolai took her by the shoulders and turned her back toward the mirror.

“Take a good look. Tell me if you like what you see.”

“I’ve already looked,” she told him, keeping her eyes away from the mirror. “I saw my reflection. I am hefty, but that doesn’t bother me at all.”

“Doesn’t it? Or are you just saying that because you don’t want to face the truth? Your vice of gluttony has taken a toll on your body.”

“I don’t have trouble attracting men. Therefore, I don’t see what difference it makes.”

“It is your gift of being a temptress that attracts them. Not the beauty which you hide deep within. Let that beauty out, Vara. Have respect for yourself. Care about your appearance. Love yourself enough to know the vice is only doing you harm.”

Don’t listen to him.

Hit him.

Make him leave.

“I’ve looked into your mirror, and I have no trouble accepting what I see. Now let me be.”

“Not until you’ve looked deeper. Look beyond the image you see in the mirror. Look further and you will see into your very soul.”

Back away.

Don’t do it.

It’s a trick.

He wants to control you.

“I don’t want to,” she said, looking away. This time Nikolai took her chin in his hand and turned her face toward the mirror.

“Just look deeper, that’s all I ask. Then you can leave if you want to. If you truly like what you see, I will never bother you again. I’ll walk out of your life forever and leave you to live the life you’ve chosen.”

She looked harder this time at her image. She delved into the reflection of her own eyes, and her mind began to spin. So did the room. She hung on to Nikolai for support, as her image in the mirror turned from a woman to a very hideous beast.

It looked like something one would find in Tartarus. A black, horrid creature with bumpy skin and a huge stomach. Fire burned in its eyes from anger, and drool slid down its mouth from gluttony. Its sexual features were engorged and protruding. It kept reaching out and grabbing food, money, riches, pulling them into itself till it could hold no more. Then its skin turned green from what she knew was envy, and once again it looked her way.

This time, the beast tried to draw her in. It called to her, coaxing her to join it in its horrid ways.

I can give you wealth, come with me.

I can give you sexual pleasures if you’ll stay with me.

I can give you many possessions and make you rich and famous.

I can give you anything anyone else has. It’s all yours for the asking.

Come to me. Be with me. Join me forever, Vara.

“No!” she cried, covering her eyes, not wanting to see the horrid creature she’d become. “Leave me alone.”

You want all this, Vara. Admit it to yourself.

This will make you happy. This is what life is all about.

You can be like me forever. Just follow me and do not stray.

“No, I will never be like you. I am not you. I am not!” She pushed away from Nikolai and knocked the standing mirror to the ground. She pounded her fists upon it until the shards of metal cut her and made her bleed.

“Vara, stop,” said Nikolai getting to the ground and pulling her to him. He held her against his chest so close she could feel the beating of his heart. Or was it hers?

“I don’t like what I see,” she finally admitted aloud. “I don’t want to become that awful monster I just saw.”

“You are becoming it with each passing day,” Nikolai told her. “But you can defeat it if you want. You can challenge the monster, and this time, you can win.”

“How can I do that?” she cried out. “I don’t know how to fight myself.”

“It’s not fighting that will slay the monster, Vara. It is change and change alone that will make the monster go away forever.”

“Then help me, Nikolai.” She looked up into his eyes and for the first time in her life she pleaded. “I beg of you, help me to change. I don’t want to be that monster anymore.”

Nikolai smiled, and when he did she felt a renewed sense of hope within her.

“I will be here for you, I promise. I can guide you, but you must want to really do this, or I warn you it will not work.”

“I do,” she assured him. “I will do anything it takes to slay this monster before I am devoured by it.”

“Then you must do as I say. You must not fight me. You are not going to be able to think rationally with the Furies occupying your head.”

“I will do whatever you say. Just please, please help me before I end up like my ancestors who perished before me.”

“All right,” he said. “We will conquer the vices one at a time.”

He brought her to the bed and sat her upon it. He wrung out a cloth in the water basin and cleansed her wounds as he continued.

“We will start with gluttony in the morning. You are not to eat a single bite before I meet you at the dais to break the fast.”

“Don’t eat until you get there?”

“And when I do arrive, you must do exactly what I tell you. The first time you fight me, I will stop helping you and go away forever.”

“No,” she pleaded, reaching out for him. “Please, don’t leave me. I want you to stay here in Corinth with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then don’t fight me,” he said.

“I won’t,” she promised.

“Good.” He brought her to her feet. “Now I suggest you go back to your chamber and get some well-needed rest.”

Her heart fell at that comment.

“I want to stay here with you, Nikolai. I want to spend the night with you in your chamber. In your bed.”

He hesitated for a moment, and she almost thought he was going to agree to her idea. But when he spoke, she felt that hope vanish.

“No, I cannot allow that. Until we have conquered your vice of lust, I’m afraid it will be too risky to stay.”

He herded her to the door and opened it, guiding her gently out into the corridor.

“I will see you in the morning. And remember, don’t eat anything tonight.”

Her mouth dropped open. “But I have not yet had my supper.”

“You promised to listen to me, did you not?”

“That’s when I thought we were going to start tomorrow.”

“I decided we will start tonight instead. Now just go to bed and you won’t be tempted to eat.”

He closed the door in her face and she felt rejected once again. She ran to her room and locked the door, then hopped into her bed and buried her head beneath the pillow.

You need food, Vara.

Go to the kitchens. Nikolai won’t know.

You need nourishment. You know you want it.

The urge was strong to disobey Nikolai, but she knew if she did he would leave her forever, just like he said. And to her, that thought was even more frightening than the beast in the mirror.