The Pandora Curse (Greek Myth Series Book 4) (9 page)

The enormous grief was too intense for her. She knew she could never bring her husband back to life, nor could she expect me to forgive her. She could not forgive herself. Because of this, she took her own life to stop
The Pandora Curse
from causing any more harm. She took the dagger from my dead father’s belt, and without saying goodbye, she took her own life in front of me.”

He gathered Vara in his arms. He could feel her body trembling beneath his touch. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make it better. They sat still and silent for a while, just holding each other, basking in the comfort of each others presence.

“I should have stopped her from taking her own life,” said Vara with a catch to her voice.

“You were young. Don’t think that you could have stopped her.”

“I was twelve. Nearly a woman. I could have done something to stop her, but I didn’t. And do you know why that is?”

“Why?”

“Because that’s the day the Furies left my mother’s head and made their new home in mine. They told me she deserved to die. They stopped me from doing anything to help her as I watched her bleed to death at my feet. I stopped feeling that day. I told myself it would be easier that way. Instead, I let the Furies guide my every action. Where they led, I followed, and never questioned. And when doubt crept in, they got even stronger.”

“By the gods, Vara. I had no idea.” Nikolai kissed her atop the head. “No one should have to go through that. It’s not right that you surrender your life to the curse.”

“I have no choice, Nikolai. I either listen to the voices and obey them, or I go mad from the pain that pounds in my head.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. You can change your life. But you have to want to change.”

She shook her head, not believing a word he said. She held the look of a desperate woman trapped within the body of a person she no longer knew. No hope shone forth, but rather despair. And then she answered with the words he did not want to hear.

“I am my vices, Nikolai. I can never be anything other than what the curse has made me. All I can do is listen to the Furies and wait for the day when they cause me to take my own life, just as my mother did.”

“No. Don’t say that.” He wanted to say more, but just then Zetes called to them from beyond the trees.

“My lady, where are you?”

At the sound of his voice, Vara stiffened in Nikolai’s arms and pushed away. The silver lining of her eyes disappeared as she got to her feet. The tough façade was back. She held her head high and called to her steward.

“I am here, Zetes. I have found the seer without his horse.”

“The men want to know if they should start eating or wait for you?”

Nikolai hoped she would choose him over food. He had been enjoying her presence and sharing their stories of childhood together. He wanted that moment to last. He wanted to talk more about her curse and convince her that her life could be different. But when he noticed her eyes turn the color of weathered acorns, he knew their precious time spent together was over.

“You tell the men that the first one to take a bite before I am there will go for two days without eating. I will get my four servings before anyone else is served.”

“Aye, my lady.”

Nikolai’s heart sank. He could see now that what he’d glimpsed was only a spark in the midst of a very dark night. He had to find a way to break through this curse, to reach the true Vara inside the hard shell, crying out to be saved. If only he could tell her he was there to help rid her of her vices. If only she could willingly give them up by just handing them over. That would make his task so easy. Instead, the caring, gentle Vara was once again locked away in the midst of a very deep, dark void.
The Pandora Curse
ran strong within her. So strong that even her tainted childhood might not be enough to scare her into changing and releasing her vile vices forever.

He followed her back to camp, she leading her horse, both of them on foot. They didn’t say a word to each other, and he wondered if he had imagined the soft-spoken moments they’d just shared together. Once they approached camp, a commotion started.

“What goes on here?” Vara called out.

One of her men pulled something out from the supply wagon. To everyone’s surprise, Agatha, the king’s daughter, was a stowaway.

“Look what I found, Queen Vara,” said the soldier. “She was stealing your food.”

“What?” Vara handed the reins of her horse to a page and faced the child. “Is this true, Agatha?”

When the little girl nodded, every one of the men there fidgeted and backed up slightly, and Nikolai knew it was because they expected Vara to explode in anger.

To everyone’s surprise, she didn’t.

“Hmm,” she said. “What to do with you.” She took the little girl by the hand and led her to the fire. She sat her down and then sat next to her. “Bring us some food,” she called to the page.

The boy hurriedly did as ordered. He placed food in front of Vara first, and then in front of the little girl.

Agatha reached out for it, but Zetes stepped forward to stop her. “No one eats before our queen has had her four helpings,” he told her.

The little girl looked up to Vara in question. Vara looked over to Nikolai who nodded slightly.

“She is a princess,” Vara called out for all to hear. “Royalty. She may eat along with me.”

Nikolai leaned against a tree and just watched as Vara’s mouth opened wide and she shoveled in pieces that even he would have cut in two. She then gulped some wine, dribbling it down her chin. Nikolai didn’t say a word, but she obviously knew he was watching her. She looked up sharply, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

“What are you looking at?” Her voice was no longer soft nor caring. Her vice of gluttony controlled her now.

“I am looking at you,” Nikolai answered. “I have never seen anyone eat the way you do.”

The entire camp silenced, and tension filled the air. Then Agatha giggled which only seemed to infuriate Vara more.

“Take the child to an unoccupied tent,” Vara commanded Zetes. “Give her anything she wants, but I don’t want to see her again tonight.”

“Yes, my lady,” said Zetes hurrying Agatha to a nearby tent.

Vara then turned her attention to Nikolai who still hadn’t moved.

“What did you mean by that comment?” she asked. “Are you saying I’m vulgar?”

“I am only saying you eat like a man. Most ladies nibble at pieces twice as small as the ones you place into your mouth.”

“Well, I am a warrior, not a lady!”

One of the hounds bayed at the moon just then, and the men all burst out laughing. She threw down her food and stormed over to Nikolai. Her eyes were very dark. She pressed close when she spoke.

“I will not tolerate your insults, seer. Especially in front of my men.”

“I did not insult you,” he responded. “I merely made an observation.”

“I think perhaps I have made a mistake hiring your services as a seer.”

“I am here as advisor, not seer, if I must remind you. And you are not paying me, so I have not been hired.”

“Then leave!” She threw her hands up in the air and let out a growl. “Leave my camp so I never have to set eyes on you again.”

“Is that your anger talking prodded by the Furies, or is it your true feelings?”

“Of course it’s how I feel. I only say what I mean.”

He didn’t believe a word of it, but decided it best not to anger her any more this evening.

“As you wish, then. I will stay for the night and be on my way first thing in the morning.”

“Good,” she shouted, and headed back toward the fire. She didn’t stop to turn around or second guess her decision. Her anger was in full swing, and he could only hope she would not throw him out of camp before morning.

He watched her pick up a leg of mutton, then look over toward him. She made a big show of biting into it, ripping off hunks with her teeth much like the hounds did when they ate.

“May the gods help me,” muttered Nikolai under his breath.

He could only hope Baruch came back soon to help him with his plan. If he didn’t, Nikolai may just abort this mission of his own choice. He didn’t know how much more of
The Pandora
Curse
he could handle.

Seven

Baruch came back just before sunup.

“Where have you been?” Nikolai hissed to the minion who looked tired and worn, but no longer broken.

“Niko, Niko, Niko, you almost sound like ya missed me.” He reached out with open arms, but his breath was so foul, Nikolai couldn’t help but push him away.

“We have work to do,” he instructed. “I need you to go to Vara’s tent before she wakes up.”

“What?” Baruch’s eyes popped open and he shook his head. “I don’t want to go anywhere near that shrew. Especially before she’s had the chance to have her breakfast.”

Nikolai dressed and hurriedly pulled on his boots as he spoke. “Last night she told me to leave.”

“Oh. That’s not good. Let’s go.” Baruch headed for the tent opening.

“Get back here.” Nikolai reached out and grabbed the minion by one of his large ears, pulling him back. “I found out her mother killed herself because of the curse.”

“So? Why should you be surprised?”

“I’m not. Not really. But Vara watched it happen. You didn’t see the sadness in her eyes that I did. I can’t leave her. And I can’t let her send me away. If she does, I’ll have no chance to collect the vices. I have to help her, Baruch.” He shook the vials in the pouch at his waist to stress his point.

“It seems to me,” said Baruch, “she’s not going to give them up willingly. If you ask me, she enjoys being wicked.”

“That’s not true. The curse makes her act that way.”

“Well, since you can’t tell her what you’ve been sent to do, I guess she will never change.”

“Not true again. I have a plan that is sure to touch her inner goodness. And all you have to do is convince her that she needs me and shouldn’t send me away.”

“Why would she listen to a little green minion like me?”

Nikolai got to his feet, filling the tent completely. His head scraped the ceiling as he straightened the crystal orb around his neck.

“She wouldn’t,” he said. “But she would listen to her dear, departed mother.” He grinned at Baruch, but the minion was not smiling back.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Baruch raised his hands and backed toward the door of the tent. “I told you there is no way - I repeat, no way - I am changing myself into anything female again.”

“Okay. Have it your way.” Nikolai rolled up his thin sleeping pallet. “If you don’t want to help, then I’ll be forced to tell Hera you refused to cooperate.”

“No. You do that and she’ll send me down to serve Hades for a month. I don’t like it in the Underworld. Too depressing.”

“Then will you help me or not?”

Baruch let out an exasperated sigh. “I suppose. But if she lays one hand on me, I swear I’ll bite her.”

“I knew I could count on you, Baruch. Now here’s my plan.”

*  *  *

Vara tossed and turned, sleeping restlessly all night long. She couldn’t get Nikolai’s words out of her mind. First he’d referred to her as an ogre, and now he called her a man. She wanted him to like her. She liked him. But every time he stared at her when she ate, she felt a wicked knot forming in her stomach. Perhaps she did eat vulgarly, but she really couldn’t control herself around food. Didn’t he understand that?

She just wished they could be together and not always be aggravating each other. She saw how upset he was about the way she’d treated his old nag. She supposed she had been a bit aggressive, but she’d done it for a good reason.

She had needed to prove her point. She had wanted to show him that she was an efficient warrior and could even make an old horse obey her. But for some reason, it no longer seemed important. She treasured the conversation they’d shared by the creek. Nikolai was the only one she had ever told about her childhood. She found it easy to talk to him about it, and liked the way he had confided in her about his past as well. No one had ever done that with her before.

But still, she could not tolerate the way he insulted her in front of her men. She had to tell him to leave, although her heart already ached from the thought of never seeing him again. Still, she could not go back on her word. She’d already done that yesterday with the king, and because of it, she’d lost respect and power. This time, she would show everyone she carried out her plans and was not easily swayed to change her mind.

She would be better off without him. He brought out things in her she’d learned to ignore these past five and twenty years. He served as a human mirror, and she had no use for mirrors. With him blatantly pointing out her vices, she was constantly being reminded of how horrible she really was. The way he looked at her when she ate probably hurt her the most. She knew if she had been thin and curvy, Nikolai would have taken her to his bed of his own free will by now.

She could only wish she was thin and appealing like the other ladies she’d seen. She also knew they more or less starved themselves to look that way. What she ate in one meal would probably be enough food for one of them for an entire week.

You don’t want to be like them, Vara.

You are a warrior. You need to eat to be strong.

The more you eat, the stronger you’ll be.

“I don’t care what Nikolai thinks!” She threw off the coverlet and sat upright, gasping in surprise when she saw the silhouette of her dear, departed mother standing in the doorway of the tent.

“M . . . Mother?” Her voice shook. “Is that really you?”

Her mother stepped forward, pulling an old blanket around her tighter. A ghastly green tinted her skin. Vara reached out to touch her, but her mother held up a warning hand.

“Do not try to touch me, Vara. I have come from the Underworld only long enough to give you a warning.”

She did not remember her mother’s voice sounding so high and scratchy. Still, she’d never seen or heard a ghost before.

“Did you say Underworld?”

Vara didn’t want to think of her mother in such a horrid place. But then again, she didn’t really expect she’d go to the Elysian Fields after all she’d done.

“Yes. Hades awaits me. I must hurry back to lick his sandals.”

“Lick his sandals?” Horror coursed through her. “That’s not even required of a servant. It is no way for a warrior such as yourself to be treated.”

“I have come to warn you, Vara. If you do not change, you too will end up like me.”

“Never! I will never subject myself to such humiliating cruelty as you have seen in the Underworld.”

Her mother looked out the door quickly and then back to her. “You have no choice once the decision has been made.”

“What decision? Are you telling me it’s time for Hades to come claim me?”

“Only the seer knows that for certain. You need to stay by his side and make sure to listen to his advice. He, and he alone, knows your future.”

“The seer? Do you mean Nikolai?”

“Of course you silly wench! I mean, yes, Nikolai. He’s the one. He can see your future. You must trust him. Believe in him, no matter if it seems he is leading you astray. You must change Vara, and change quickly. If you do not, you will soon see signs of your inevitable demise.”

“Signs? What signs?”

“You’ll lose your skills as a warrior. You must give up your sword and stop being cruel to animals. Especially old mares and rats.”

She laughed then, thinking this was all some sort of a bad jest. Then she became very suspicious.

“Who are you?” She picked up her sword from under her pillow. “You can’t be my mother. My mother was the one who always told me that being a warrior was everything. She would never tell me to be kind to a rat!”

She swiped out with her sword, but the vision twirled and faded into a green mist before her eyes. In a flash, the apparition was gone.

*  *  *

Nikolai watched from the flap of his tent, waiting to hear Vara calling his name. If Baruch had done his job as instructed, she would be coming toward his tent at any moment, asking him to stay. No woman, even a warrior, would defy her mother - be she dead or alive.

“Seer!” Vara emerged from her tent, sword in hand. She was only partially dressed and looked as if she were in a hurry. “Seer, where are you?”

She was calling him
seer
instead of Nikolai. And she had that look of anger about her. This wasn’t good.

He stepped from his tent and out into the open. She met him with the tip of her blade to his throat.

“I did not expect to be greeted by the end of a sword.” Oddly enough she seemed mad instead of desperate for his help.

“You are trying to trick me, aren’t you?”

She was smarter than he’d given her credit for. He’d never expected her to figure out his plan. He only wondered where Baruch was, hoping she hadn’t killed him.

“I don’t know what you mean. And I don’t appreciate your sword at my throat.” He reached out and pushed the tip downward, and she lowered the weapon to her side.

“So who was it dressed up as my mother? Or was it an apparition you conjured up?” Obsidian shown in her eyes.

He stood still, wondering just how much she knew or just how much information he should divulge.

“What happened?”

Her brow furrowed and her mouth turned down into a frown.

“You know exactly what happened.”

He remained quiet.

“Don’t you?” A measure of doubt tinged her voice. Mayhap she didn’t know that much after all.

“You speak of your mother, yet she is dead. Did she come to you from the afterlife? Did she somehow give you a message?”

“Why would you think she gave me a message?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“I know many things, my lady. Remember, I am a seer.” He lifted his crystal orb in his palm to remind her. “I have had a vision of someone who was once close to you giving you a warning or message of some sort. This is true, is it not?”

She pushed her sword into her scabbard on her back, all the while keeping a cautious stance with space between them.

“Well, she did say to trust you. Even if it seemed you were leading me astray. Perhaps I was too quick to accuse you of foul play. I just assumed you had something to do with the apparition.”

“Did you want to tell me the rest of her message?”

She hesitated for a moment, then looked around. Her men were busy taking down the camp, but Zetes watched her intently, hand on his weapon. Nikolai knew the man was loyal, and that he was ready to defend her if need be.

“No. Not really,” she answered with a shake of her head. Her eyes turned back to silver.

“I see.” He reached down and picked up his pack, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“I believe you ordered me to leave camp this morning.”

He took a step around her, walking slowly, giving her time to stop him. He hoped he hadn’t undermined his own plan.

“You are not going anywhere, seer. I want you to stay.”

He stopped in his tracks and breathed a sigh of relief. Baruch had successfully completed his mission after all. He turned back to her, but not before hiding his smile. “You do?”

“Yes. As my advisor and seer of course.”

“Of course.”

“I will pay you whatever you ask.”

He folded his arms across his chest. Was that a note of desperation he heard in her voice? He occupied the idea of making her beg, but then decided he should not tempt his luck.

“I do not want your money. Just food and a place to sleep.”

“I will give you all that and fine clothes as well.”

“I have no desire for new clothing. But I would like something else.”

“Just say it and it’s yours.”

“I want you to start asking instead of ordering me to do things. And I want you to start calling me Nikolai instead of seer.”

She raised her chin and looked down her nose. “I am a warrior. Warriors do not ask. They take.”

“And I am a seer. I do not look; I see.”

He walked over and leaned against the trunk of a tree, polishing his gazing sphere with the sleeve of his tunic. Little Agatha watched them curiously from inside her tent. That’s when yet another idea came to him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Vara followed him over to the tree.

He held up the magical orb and looked within it. He saw her agreeing to his proposition and knew he would not lose. His plan would work wonderfully.

“It means, if you want something out of me, you will have to give me something in return.”

“I already offered you money, food, clothing, and a bed. What more is there that I can possibly give you?”

“It’s not what you can give me, but what you can give her.” He pointed toward Agatha. With a puzzled frown, Vara’s gaze followed his finger.

“Her?” she asked, squinting her eyes and looking back in his direction. “She is the daughter of the man I’ve imprisoned.”

“And that’s all the more reason why you should be responsible for her safety.”