The Pandora Curse (Greek Myth Series Book 4) (13 page)

“Go!” he instructed Baruch. “Quickly.”

Baruch turned into a green mist and exited just as Vara opened the flap and entered. She swatted at the fog with her hand and then seemed to dismiss it once she laid eyes on Nikolai.

“Vara.” He settled himself atop the sleeping pallet. He untied his pouch and then pulled off a boot.

“May I come in?” She looked at Agatha and then at him.

“Aye,” he said. She had asked, even though she started to enter as if she’d had the right. Mayhap she was changing just a little. “Agatha, why don’t you go get your flower a drink?”

“All right,” she said, with a twinkle in her eye. She skipped out of the tent giggling.

Vara pushed a lock of her loose hair behind her ear. It was wet. So was the top half of her tunic robe. He had no doubt she had dunked herself in the horse trough to cleanse herself of the smell of Baruch. After all, Vara did like her baths.

“I am sorry about almost stepping on the lizard. But I was very angry with Harold for beating me in another competition.”

Nikolai pulled off his other boot and lay back on the pallet. “There is no reason to take out your anger on an innocent creature.”

“I know that,” she said with regret in her voice. “I am ashamed of my actions.” She looked around the tent. “Where is the lizard?”

“It . . . left. I think it was frightened off by just the sound of your voice.”

She took it upon herself to first lay down her sword, and then sit next to him.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I really don’t take enjoyment in torturing animals, no matter what you think.”

“Well, perhaps you should heed your mother’s words and stop doing it.”

She looked to him in surprise. “How did you know her spirit form told me that?”

“You must have told me,” he said, silently cursing himself for his mistake. “Or mayhap I saw it in my crystal.”

She blinked twice, then seemed to discard her suspicion and continued. “I wanted to say I just don’t know what overcame me earlier.” Her voice was soft and gentle. Her eyes were silver.

“It was anger,” he pointed out. “I thought you’d know that vice by now.”

“True,” she said.

“And greed,” he added. “You didn’t want anyone else winning the prize.”

“Yes,” she answered, but not so willingly this time.

“And - ”

Her hand reached out to muffle his mouth. “That’s enough! I came here to apologize for as you say, my
vile
behavior.”

“Really?” He took her hand in his. “That’s so unlike a hardened warrior to ever apologize.” He could see the struggle within her, and knew this wasn’t easy for her. He admired her for coming to his tent in the first place.

“I felt I owed it to you.” She scooted closer.

“And why is that?” The heat from her body encompassed his own. He wanted to be even closer to her. Her hand still in his, he rubbed it against his lips, tasting the essence of her skin. She closed her eyes and let out a small moan in response.

“Because I like you.” Her eyes opened slowly and she looked at him as if she were afraid of what he might answer.

“I like you, too,” he responded.

“You do?” Relief washed over her face.

“Yes, Vara, I do like you. But I must admit, I am not fond of your moods when your vices take over.”

“Of course not,” she said, rubbing her hand over his. “I can understand that.”

“I feel an attraction to you, and I would like to know you better. The real you. Not the one ruled by
The Pandora Curse
.”

“So then you find me attractive?” She bit her bottom lip waiting for his answer.

“I do. And I am not going to lie to you, Vara. I’ve more than once thought about that night in your chamber and what it would have been like if we had gone through with the coupling.”

“Really?” Her mouth turned up into a smile and a new glow lit her skin. She leaned closer, and this time pressed her lips upon his. He felt his groin harden and his brain could think of nothing else but Vara.

“Then make love to me, Nikolai,” she whispered against his lips.

The suggestion excited him further. It would be so easy. They were alone. The opportunity was perfect. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were no longer silver, but indigo. The color of lust. Not so perfect after all.

“No, Vara.”

“Why not?”

He noticed the tone of her voice change. He had to get her out of his tent before she started singing her siren’s song and he was helpless.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

“Don’t you want me?” She leaned over and kissed him again. He found it harder to turn her away this time.

“Of course I want you.”

“Then why are you stopping me from continuing?” Her magic fingers reached down and stroked his hardened form, causing him to gasp. If he didn’t stop now, it would be too late. He’d be powerless against her vice of lust.

“I . . . just can’t do it,” he told her.

She sat up straight and looked down to his lap. “Yes, you can.”

“That’s not what I mean. What I mean is . . . I don’t want to.”

She looked back down again. “Yes, you do. You want this just as much as I do.”

“This is wrong,” he told her. “I want you, but not in lust. When we couple it should be because we love each other.”

Her eyes studied his face, her lips pressing firmly together. “So what you’re saying is you don’t love me?”

He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to hurt her. But he also didn’t want to lie. He’d done too much of that already.

“No, Vara, I don’t love you. I lust you. We don’t know each other well enough to feel love between us yet. I do not want to couple this way.”

Her eyes turned from indigo to moss green.

“I don’t care if you don’t want it, because I do. Now stop saying no.”

“Now it’s your greed talking, Vara. Can’t you see that? And can’t you understand why I don’t want to do this just now?”

Next her eyes changed from green to black. He tensed, knowing this was the vice he disliked the most.

“You’re just saying that because I’m overweight.” She pushed off him and straightened her clothing.

“Vara, that’s not true. You may be overweight, but that has nothing to do with my decision. I told you, we don’t know each other well enough yet. I can’t make love with you because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’ve already done that, Nikolai.” She picked up her sword and faced him slowly. He thought he saw a tear in her eye. Her silver eyes. “You’ve already hurt me. But I’ve been hurt before. I’ll survive.”

She left without waiting for his reply.

His heart ached. This process of trying to get Vara to give up her vices willingly was harder and taking longer than he’d expected. Still, to make love with her now would have only made her vice of lust stronger. He felt like walking away and disassociating himself from Vara and anything that reminded him of her. But he couldn’t.

What had started out as a self-absorbed mission on his part, now changed. He continued this task because of reasons far beyond Hera’s threats. He cared for Vara. And he hadn’t lied when he told her he didn’t love her. But each passing day, each time he glimpsed her silver eyes and saw beyond the vices, he liked her more and more.

He couldn’t stop helping her now even if Hera commanded it. He wanted more than anything to save Vara from herself. Every day, a part of her hard outer shell chipped away and a bigger part of her true self shone forth. But it wasn’t enough. He needed more. She needed more. And if she ever found out what he was doing, he knew she would hate him forever.

Ten

Vara looked for Nikolai all the next morning, but he seemed to be avoiding her. She had thought she’d seen him around a corner or sitting high up in the arena of people watching the games, but every time she went to him, it would end up being someone else. She didn’t know what was happening to her that every man reminded her of Nikolai. She couldn’t get him off her mind or out of her dreams.

She wasn’t proud of herself for the way she’d acted in his tent last night. She didn’t feel shame, as she was not a shameful person. Still, she felt frustration and rejection. She had gone to his tent with the true intention of apologizing for the way she’d been acting. But when she saw him lying on the pallet and she realized they were all alone, lust overtook her as always.

“I hate not being in control.”

She paced back and forth inside her tent, angry at herself, and angry at Nikolai for pushing her away. If only she hadn’t the curse. She wondered if the relationship between them could be different if she hadn’t been struggling constantly with the notion of what was right and what was wrong. If only she didn’t always give in to her powerful vices.

Nikolai was the first man who had ever really intrigued her. She liked the fact he was a demi-god. She’d never had a demi-god before. And she also liked the fact he could see the future. But even more so than that, she liked the gentle, caring side of him. He was kind to old mares, dirty rats, and helpless lizards. All the men she’d ever known wouldn’t have thought twice about cooking and eating any of them for dinner.

Just the thought of dinner made her stomach growl. She looked down to her tunic wrap which was always very tight around her waist. She wished she didn’t have such a craving for food and drink. She thought of Calanthra and her thin figure. Then she thought of how Nikolai said ladies nibbled and only had one helping at a meal.

“No,” she said aloud. “I could never be that way. Why should I? I like to eat. Food and money make me happy. Winning makes me happy. Coupling makes me feel good too. I have everything I want. I have more than I need.”

She paced back and forth again, this time looking deep into her own heart and pushing the thoughts consuming her head aside. “So why am I not happy?”

“You tell me,” sounded from behind her.

She whipped around to find Nikolai standing in the door of her tent.

“How dare you enter without making your presence known.”

“I assumed this is what you were accustomed to since you’ve been doing it to me since I arrived in Corinth. May I enter?”

She felt her face flush in embarrassment. She wondered how long he’d been standing there or just how much he’d heard.

“Please.” She felt her heartbeat quicken.

“I thought I heard you talking to someone.” He looked around the tent. “Is Agatha here?”

“No. She likes horses, so I had Zetes take her to the stables.”

“So he is taking care of her again?”

“No. I am. I just needed her gone so I could have time alone to think.”

“Anything you’d like to share?”

He entered, filling the tent with his presence, making her suck in her breath as he came near. She had to control her lustful urges this time or Nikolai might leave for good.

“I thought perhaps you’d left. After yesterday, I mean.”

“I did. For awhile. But I came back.”

“Why?” she asked, hoping she was the reason for his return.

“I am not certain. I suppose I just needed to think also.”

She noticed how he avoided her question. Still, there was a certain attraction that brought them together. She could feel it, and was sure he could too. Something inside each of them that cried out to the other. Like the lost half which would make them whole.

He reached out to touch her, but she forced herself to step away. She didn’t want to be hurt again. She’d let down her guard yesterday, but today she’d be more careful.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she said. “Because I missed every game of the day, including my favorite, the falcon challenges.”

“And why is that? Because you were afraid to enter the competition without first using my scrying abilities, or because you were too upset by my absence to be able to concentrate?”

His words caught her by surprise. He was right. His absence had upset her so greatly that she felt she couldn’t function properly without him there. This scared her. She had never been afraid of anything before. Lately, she felt as if she were afraid of many things. Including herself.

“I am not afraid,” she told him, hoping he didn’t hear the doubt in her voice. “And your absence meant nothing to me. There is one event left in this competition, and I plan on winning. It is the fox hunt. Look into your crystal and tell me if I’ll win.”

He raised a brow. “What did you say?”

“Damn,” she swore under her breath. She would never get used to this asking instead of ordering people to do things.  “Can you please look into your crystal for me?”

“That’s better.” He lifted the orb and took a deep breath. He concentrated on his powers, narrowing his eyes and looking deep within. “I can’t see anything. It’s too foggy.”

“Well, try again. I mean . . . can you try again? This means much to me and I’d like to be assured I’ll win. The winner of this event is awarded a feast in their honor and thirty pieces of gold.”

“I see. And I suppose you do not want to lose to Harold of Corinth again?”

“I am from Corinth, not him. Not any more. And of course I do not want to lose to him. I have thought about all that has happened lately, and I’ve decided that Harold is the man you’ve foreseen destroying me. I am right, am I not, Seer?”

“Nikolai,” he corrected her address. “Things such as you calling me Seer is what is keeping a wall between us, Vara. Aren’t you even interested in changing our relationship? Don’t you want it to be more than it is?”

She wished he hadn’t asked that. She wasn’t ready to answer that yet. Her mind was confused, everything she stood for threatened. He’d already turned her life upside down. To answer his question would only put her life in even more turmoil.

“Please tell me if I’m right about Harold of Corinth.”

“Do you really think he is trying to destroy you?”

“Yes. He has taken every prize from me so far. He told me I’m a weak warrior and called me a coward. He said I would lose Corinth, and I am sure he plans to try to take it from me.”

Nikolai dropped his crystal sphere to his chest, and it swung side to side, settling in place.

“Did you ever think that being destroyed and having everything taken from you might not mean physical objects but rather something more?”

“What more is there? Wealth, prizes, money. Once these are gone, a warrior is destroyed. Unless . . . ”

“What Vara? Have you discovered something else?”

She thought of the warning her mother had given her. If she didn’t change her ways, she would lose her warrior skills one by one. Hadn’t she already lost the ability to shoot an arrow straight? And hadn’t she also lost grip of her sword - something that would never happen to a good warrior? By the gods, it was happening. She was being destroyed little by little and she hadn’t even been aware of what was happening.

“He is my destroyer,” she blurted out. “Because of him my warrior skills are diminishing one by one. My mother’s spirit warned me this would happen.” She paced the floor. “It all makes sense now. She told me to be kind to animals and I wasn’t. I didn’t listen to what she had to say. Because of this, Harold is destroying me. I am doubly cursed. Now I will lose Corinth as well.”

“Vara, the man I saw destroying you was not Harold of Corinth.”

“How could it not be? Hasn’t he taken everything from me?”

“Perhaps you’ve taken those things from yourself by the things you’ve done.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Are you accusing me of not being a strong warrior?”

“All I’m saying is mayhap you should think this over more before you come to any conclusions.”

“There’s no time to think.” She hurriedly pulled on her sandals and headed for the door. “If we go now, I can still get signed up for the hunt in time. I will not let Harold of Corinth destroy me further by winning the last competition.”

He put his arm on hers to stop her.

“Vara, is it really that important to always win?”

She looked at his hand and followed his arm up to his face. She saw concern there and uneasiness. He really didn’t want her to go.

“Winning against the man who is out to destroy me is the most important thing in my life. How can you even ask?” She shook free of his hold. “Now you can stand here all day if you want or you can join me.”

“Don’t you want me to scry for you first?”

“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “I don’t. I am going to sign up for this event, and I will show Harold that he cannot destroy Vara the Conqueror. I do not need you to tell me my future this time. This time I am in control, no one else. And I promise you I will not lose again.”

She hurried out of the tent, and Nikolai felt as if he had failed. He exited the tent, watching her go. He had one last chance to try to break Vara free from the curse she was under. One last attempt to instill self-doubt in her about the way she lived.

He had stood open-mouthed when she confessed that she thought Harold of Corinth was the man out to destroy her. Couldn’t she see it was him, not Harold she should fear? Harold could take every prize from her, and embarrass her in front of everyone, but Nikolai knew she was strong-willed and would recover. But what he planned on taking from her, would destroy Vara the Conqueror forever.

“Baruch, you can come out now. She’s gone.”

There was a little movement beside the tent, and a green tinged fox joined him.

“I don’t want hounds chasing me. I may not be able to outrun them.”

“You only have to outrun Vara’s hounds. Now remember, you have to lead her astray so she gets so far away from the real fox, she’ll never win.”

“I know,” complained Baruch. “And I also know I’m going to regret this.”

“It could be worse,” Nikolai told him with a grin. “After all, I could have asked you to be her horse.”

“Let’s go,” said Baruch with a disgusted sigh.

*  *  *

The straight trumpets sounded and Vara kicked her heels into the sides of her horse. The kennelgroom rode ahead of her with a long lead, holding back the hounds. They howled and whined and pulled at the lead as the fox was released, and the race began. All the contestants rode toward the forest.

“Don’t lose the fox,” she shouted, riding at her kennelgroom’s side. “Go faster,” she complained. “I see that wretched Harold already approaching the forest.”

“I can’t go any faster, my lady.”

“Then release the hounds and I’ll follow them without you.”

“I can’t. They will run off and I may lose them. I advise you to let me keep them on the lead.”

“Let them go. I am giving you an order.”

“Yes, my lady.” The kennelgroom stopped and took the hounds off the lead. They shot away quickly and Vara sped after them on her horse. She was in the lead now. She passed up Harold of Corinth in a matter of seconds, and all the rest of the contestants as well. She followed the fox into the wooded area. Her hounds would have it cornered before any of the others knew where it went.

She rode her horse through the woods, following the baying sounds of her own dogs. They were running in one direction, but then suddenly they stopped and turned back and sniffed around in circles.

“What is it?” She dismounted her horse and ran to see what they had cornered. She pushed the branches of a bush apart and saw a fox shaking from fright.

“I did it!” she shouted. “I have won. I have found the fox.”

She was deciding what to do with it when she heard the horns sounding in the distance, telling her that the race was over.

“What?” she turned around and looked away only for a moment. In that second, the fox darted out and the hounds took off after it further into the woods.

“Queen Vara,” came the kennelgroom’s voice as he approached her on horseback. “The horn has sounded. Someone has won. Let us go back.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “No, this cannot be true. I had the fox. The hounds had it cornered. I am the winner. Something is wrong.”

“I’m afraid you must have followed the wrong fox, my lady. The one for this game was marked with an iron tag through its ear. They would not have sounded the horns until they determined that it was the exact animal they set loose.”

Vara’s mind shot back to the fox she’d seen in the bushes just moments ago. She had seen its head clearly. The thing was so frightened, she swore its face looked green. But she had not seen a tag through either of its ears. She had indeed followed the wrong fox.

“No!” she shouted, mounting her horse. “I am not going to lose again. This is not right. Find the hounds and bring them back. I am going to go see what happened.”

She rode as fast as she could to the starting gate, and to her horror, there stood Harold, accepting his thirty pieces of gold and a basket of fruit. He was declared the winner, and a feast was to be given in his honor. She jumped off her horse and darted toward the judges.