The Pandora Curse (Greek Myth Series Book 4) (18 page)

What could he say? Trying to protect Calanthra, he had indeed made himself look bad in Vara’s eyes. If only she knew he had kept his promise. But he couldn’t tell her now.

“Nikolai, you have no idea what I’m going through.
The Pandora Curse
has ruled my life. It is too late for me to change.”

“That is not true, Vara. You have already changed. So much. You need to push those thoughts from your head or you’ll only go back to your old ways.”

“I cannot push the Furies from my brain. Their voices are strong and calling to me. And unless I want to go mad, I must obey them.” She stormed to the door, but the sound of Agatha’s little voice calling out made her stop in her tracks.

“The monster has eaten the nice people inside of you. I don’t like you any more. You scare me.”

Vara never turned around, but just darted from the room. Zetes followed. Nikolai put Agatha on the bed and closed the door. He heard a small cry from the window, and saw Baruch’s bony fingers gripping the sill from the outside.

“Baruch!” He ran over and helped the minion into the room. He looked broken and battered. He sat him on the bed and examined the bump on his head and the bruise on his side. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“She could have killed me,” he moaned. “I feel like I’m going to regurgitate the eel eggs and pork bellies.”

“See?” Nikolai told him. “You never should have eaten my food.”

“You never should have let her throw me out the window.”

“I couldn’t stop her. When she is angry and jealous, there’s nothing I can do.”

“You lied to protect Calanthra,” he said, squinting up at him. “Why?”

“Vara would have harmed the woman. She would have killed her if she knew the truth.”

“But you made the wedge between you and Vara even wider. I thought you cared what happened between you?”

“I care immensely, Baruch, but I had to do it. Vara’s anger is getting stronger, and so are the rest of her vices. I have never seen her this nasty before. I need to collect the final vices before she hurts anyone else.” He looked over to Agatha, who was still shaking. “The only problem is, I don’t know how.”

“You need to stop her jealousy fast,” came Baruch’s advice.

“I know.” He sat down on the bed and ran a hand over Agatha’s head. She smiled, and he knew she would be all right. He then reached for his pouch and pulled out the vials again. “I feel as if my time is running out. While I’ve managed to collect two vices, it only seems to have made the other three even stronger.”

“Are those her monsters in there?” asked Agatha pointing to the vials.

“Yes, I suppose you could say that,” Nikolai answered.

“Are you locking them up like she locked up my father in the dungeon?”

“I am trying to take away her badness so her goodness can come out.”

Agatha scooted closer to him on the bed. “So the monster didn’t eat the kind Vara after all?”

“I assure you the kind Vara is still trapped inside her, Agatha. Vara doesn’t mean to be so nasty. She’s got a curse that makes her act that way.”

“The one that is going to make her die.”

“I suppose that could happen. That’s why I’m trying to help her. But I can’t tell her about it. Do you understand?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Yes. Can you still keep our secret?”

Her head bobbed up and down excitedly, and he knew she was happy to be confided in. She held a finger to her lips to show him she understood, then left the room humming and skipping.

“I don’t know, Niko,” said Baruch. “Vara is a mean, greedy woman. I can’t see why you even like her.”

“We all have these vices within us, Baruch. Ever since the day Pandora opened the box and released them into the world. Just like Pandora, Vara harbors these vices, but she also carries a certain amount of innocence within her too.” He wondered if Vara was once like Agatha.

“Innocence?” Baruch laughed and then flinched and gripped his side. “I fail to see innocence in a woman who is gluttonous, greedy, lustful, angry, and jealous. Not to mention very hurtful.” He rubbed his side gently.

“Well, that proves my point,” explained Nikolai. “She has hurt you several times now, but each time, she had no idea she was doing it. You were in shapeshifted form. So she didn’t actually hurt you on purpose. Even though she was cruel, she was innocent as to what she did.”

“She’s no good for you, Niko. Just let her be, and find someone else.”

“I can’t. I’ve come to care for her, Baruch. I see a part of myself in everything she does, whether it be from the vices or not. I often feel just like that horrid monster she saw inside herself. I have held anger inside me since the day Hera killed my father’s wife, and left him to grieve in the mountains. Vara is no different than anyone else, only her vices are magnified tenfold because she’s been plagued her entire life with
The Pandora Curse
.”

“Well, I’m not sure I agree, but I’ll keep helping you, Niko, because I like you. But first, I had better get back to Hera and have her heal my wounds. I’m not sure she’s going to be happy to see me. Especially since I don’t have anything good to report.”

“Well, just don’t dwell on Vara’s uproar if you can help it. I am not ready to have another meeting with Hera yet.”

“As you wish,” said Baruch with a nod. Then he turned to green mist and headed off to find Hera. Nikolai sat on the bed with his head in his hands. Things were getting more complicated all the time.

Fifteen

Vara lay back on her bed, surrounded by all her newly acclaimed treasures. Fine silk gowns that would fit her new figure lay spread across her lap. She flung a long veil over her shoulder and rubbed her face against it. Then she picked up a small bottle, uncorked it, and sniffed the aroma of lavender and roses worn by ladies.

Closing the bottle, she picked up a golden goblet that had obviously belonged to a king. She threw it aside and dug through the piles of jewelry, delighting in the feel of the gold and silver rubbing against her fingers.

You love it.

You are rich. You deserve it.

The people who owned these things didn’t deserve them.

You need to have more than everyone. You are a queen
.

The voice of the Furies was strong in her mind today. She felt too weak to try to stop them, so instead just gave in to their persuasions. It was easier that way. It didn’t hurt as much. And they were right, she really did love these things. This is what brought her happiness, not people like Nikolai who betrayed her.

She felt sick to her stomach to think of the man she wanted, being with somebody else. Especially the beautiful and thin Calanthra.

“Damn!” She threw down a handful of jewelry and headed over to the mirror. She had lost even more weight by hardly eating at all. She liked feeling thinner. But still it wasn’t thin enough to catch Nikolai’s eye. She decided she would stop eating all together. She would be thin like Calanthra and Nikolai would love her.

She played with the veil, placing it one way and then another over her shoulders. In the mirror, she could see the hoards of other treasure and trunks filled with goods stacked along a back wall. Her eye caught on one smaller chest in particular that glittered from the sun coming in the window. It intrigued her, and she turned around and walked over to examine it closer.

See what’s inside, Vara.

This chest is something special.

You need to open it.

The Furies were back and they were urging her on. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she pulled the chest from the pile. She took it with two hands and lay it on the bed. She ran her fingers over the tempered tri-color metal encasing it. Her fingertips tingled as she ran them over the bumps and etched diamonds carved right into the outer shell. This chest was beautiful. It felt good beneath her touch. She kept wanting to feel it more. Her fingers settled on the lock holding the latch closed.

A shiver ran up her spine, and she dropped the lock and backed away.

Open it, the voices urged her.

See what’s inside.

She touched it again, but got the distinct feeling something inside the box was evil. She remembered a story her mother told her long ago. The story of Pandora and Epimetheus. The Titan closed the box with foresight locked inside and smashed the lock with his mighty fist.

This lock was crushed. This box looked old. Could this be the actual box that her great-grandmother Pandora had opened so long ago? She would need to either open it, or find out from someone who could see into the past.

She wondered if Nikolai could look into the past as well as the future. She was angry with him but missed him dearly. She had been locked away in her room for the past two days and refused to open the door when he’d knocked upon it.

“I will ask him,” she decided, letting her curiosity guide her. “Nikolai will know if this is the box that contained
The Pandora Curse
.”

She scooped up the chest and ran from the room, letting herself into Nikolai’s chamber.

“Nikolai, where are you?” she called, but there was no answer. She looked around the room, but could not find him.

She left and headed down the stairs, passing Zetes along the way. “Have you seen Nikolai?” she asked him.

“I saw him headed for the kitchen.”

She rushed into the kitchen, but could only see the servants going about their duties of preparing the next meal.

“Where is Nikolai?” she asked one of the scullery maids. The noise in the kitchen was loud from the clanging of pots and the discussions from the servants. The girl pointed to a little room off the side that contained the salted meat for the winter. It was the larder.

Vara entered the larder and looked around, letting her eyes get accustomed to the darkness. She saw him huddled at the back wall. He was hunkered down smelling a slab of smoked pork.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

He jumped up and dropped the pork, turning to face her.

“Vara.” He swished a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“I guess not,” she said, looking around. “You were sneaking food again, weren’t you?”

“No,” he replied. “I was just smelling it. It helps ease the hunger. I gave my word to you I would only eat what you ate, and I have kept it. But I am so hungry that I dream of food. Lately, I even imagine I hear the Furies in my head telling me to sneak to the larder and eat my fill.”

“And have you listened to them?”

“No, I haven’t. But I have been very tempted to.”

“I don’t believe you.” She walked closer. “You lied to me before, when I caught you eating food in your room. So how do I know you’re not lying now?”

“I tell you the truth. I have not eaten more than you have. And as for the food in my room - I did not eat that.”

“Well then who did?” she asked. “Agatha?”

Nikolai did not answer.

“Well, it no longer matters. I have decided to stop eating for a week,” she announced.

“Ohhhh,” he groaned. He bent over and lay his face in his hands, leaning back onto a barrel.

Without the Furies clouding her brain, Vara could see that Nikolai truly was hungry. She remembered when she still had the vice of gluttony. She was always hungry. And the pain in her stomach had not been a comforting feeling. Her heart, or what was left of it, went out to Nikolai. She knew he’d been lying to her, but he was also the one who helped her see how gluttonous she’d really been. If it wasn’t for him, she’d still be eating four helpings at every meal and refusing to look at her figure in the mirror. She may not need to eat much anymore, but he was a man. He did.

“I’ve had a change of heart. I don’t think you should eat what I do anymore. It is not healthy for you. A man needs more food than a woman.”

He looked up and his eyes were so hopeful. So grateful. She knew she’d made the right decision. She longed to take him in her arms and tell him she was sorry for making him starve, but wouldn’t. She wouldn’t touch him again if he didn’t truly love her. But once she was as thin as Calanthra, then he would love her. She just knew he would.

“So are you saying . . . you want me to eat?” he asked meekly.

“Yes. By all means.” She waved her hand towards the food hanging from the ceiling and lining the shelves. “Eat to your heart’s content.”

He jumped up enthusiastically and took her face in his hands and kissed her on the mouth.

“Oh, Vara, you don’t know what this means to me.” He picked up the smoked pork and took a bite. “I really wanted to only eat what you ate because I didn’t want to tempt you. You are so good. You are no longer gluttonous. And your figure looks beautiful. I am so proud of you.”

“What? You are?” Her knees grew weak from his comment, and she occupied the barrel he had vacated. “You kissed me,” she said softly. “Why?”

“Because I am so happy.” He continued to eat, stuffing his mouth full of food.

“Is that the only reason?”

“Isn’t that enough?” he said, all the while chewing.

No, it wasn’t enough for her. Vara had hoped he had kissed her because he loved her. But who was she fooling? She didn’t deserve to be loved. Especially not from a man as good as Nikolai. He would never want her. There could never be a relationship between them.

Demi-gods didn’t fall in love with humans plagued by curses. They didn’t want women with tarnished pasts. They weren’t interested in women who were gluttonous, envious, greedy, angry, and lustful. Men like Nikolai were attracted to pure, wholesome women. No, not women . . . ladies. He was teaching her to be a lady, yet she didn’t know how to be anything but a conqueror. She had failed. She would never have Nikolai the way she wanted. Never.

She sadly pushed off the barrel and clutching the chest, headed for the door.

“Did you want to ask me something?” he asked, popping open the barrel of salted herring and using a scoop to help himself.

She looked down to the chest and then back to him. For some reason, it no longer seemed important. “I was going to ask you if you could see the past as well as the future.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Mayhap I can, but I’ve never tried. Still, I don’t think so. If I could, I am sure I would have seen past events in my gazing crystal by now.”

“Thank you,” she said. “That is all.”

She walked slowly back to her room and put the chest under the pile of trinkets where she could not see it so she would not be tempted to look inside again. Then she walked back to the mirror and took another look at herself.

Nikolai’s words flashed through her brain. Did she like what she saw there? Did she like what she’d become? She was no longer sure.

She went to her bed and scooped up a handful of treasures and slipped under the covers. This used to always make her feel good before. She used to find solace in holding her treasures as she fell asleep. Something was different this time. She still felt anxious, and also sad. And very, very lonely. The things that had always brought her happiness before now left her with an empty void. What would make her happy? she wondered. Not knowing the answer, she tossed and turned until finally she drifted off to sleep.

*  *  *

After being locked away in her room for several days fasting, Vara had had some time to think. To her surprise and relief, the Furies had not been bothering her either. She felt restless and irritable since she’d given up two of her vices. It only seemed to make the remaining three even more prominent.

She didn’t like the way she’d been acting, nor the way she’d been treating Nikolai. And the worst part was the feeling she got inside her chest every time she thought of little Agatha almost falling out the window because of her. She’d been too frightened to help the little girl, and because of this she’d almost died.

“I have to find her.” Vara wanted to see Agatha again, even if the little girl did hate her. She had to find her and explain to her that she never meant to be so nasty.

She walked over to the window and pulled the tapestry aside. The bright morning sun streamed in, causing her to blink. She focused on the courtyard, and to her relief she spotted Agatha playing ball with several other children. As if the girl knew Vara watched her, she stopped and looked upward slowly.

Vara waved to her and smiled, but Agatha just handed the ball to another child and ran off.

“Agatha, wait,” cried Vara, but the girl had already disappeared into the crowd. Vara rushed to the door and threw it open, only to find Nikolai standing there, his fist poised and ready to knock.

“Going somewhere?” he asked her.

“I - ” she looked back to the window wondering if she’d ever have the chance to talk to Agatha again. She felt as if she’d ruined a beautiful thing between them.

She’s the wretched daughter of your enemy
, the Furies told her.

You don’t need her to like you.

What do you care?

She’s just a child. She knows nothing
.

Vara wavered with dizziness and Nikolai reached out to steady her.

“Vara, when is the last time you had anything to eat?”

“I don’t care about eating. I like my new body. I’m getting thinner every day.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care about being healthy. All I want is to be as thin as Calanthra. And when I am, you will look at me the way you look at her.”

“Is that what this is all about? Your jealousy for Calanthra has made you lock yourself away and become ill. I told you, I feel nothing for Calanthra. Don’t you understand it’s what’s inside that’s important and not just being thin?”

She held her head again. “I feel odd, Nikolai.”

“I think you need some food and a little sunshine. I suggest we have an outing on the beach.”

“An outing? On the beach? Why?” 

“Because I want to be alone with you, Vara. I think it is time we get to know each other better.”

Hope flared within her. Time alone with Nikolai was exactly what she wanted.

“All right. I’ll have the cook pack up some food immediately.”

She stopped a passing page in the hall and gave him the order. When he left, she continued to talk to Nikolai.

“What should I bring on this outing?”

“Nothing,” he told her. “Just the food, your horse, and yourself.”

“But we will need servants to serve us and I will need to bring my huntsman and my steward.”